This day's getting off to a good start
Someone checked in on my office area just after I let go of a rather epic fart.

Looking for ways I can improve awrkwardness by lunchtime.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 20 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

You should have said
"Ooh, sew a button on that one, missus!"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

or
Fuck me, take big breaths, it will go quicker. Jeez I think there may be a brussel sprout on the end of that one! Then do an offline LOL!11
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 20 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

Or
"Fuck me! That's a meal in itself"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

An air banquet.
As opposed to an air buffet or an air biscuit.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 20 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

Make things more or less akward?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

Either/or

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 20 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

Why not send an email to the person
apologising for the fart smell, and suggesting he fart in your vicinity.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

farts, eh? brilliant.

you could weep uncontrollably for 3 hours. that'd be pretty awkward to be around
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

make it even worse by following people round crying,
preferably someone you haven't spoken to before.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

jump on someone's back and cry in their hair

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

Touch up your boss
and then pretend nothing happened
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

stapler up the arse
no compromise
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 20 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

I dunno, leave some child porn out on the photocopier maybe

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

make 200 copies,
then put them back into the copier. So the next person who makes a copy gets porn on the back.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Cut off your hand and leave it on the boss' desk
With a note saying 'I love you Grandma'
( Theoban What of it, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Have a really load pretend phone conversation something on the lines of
"OH MY GOD SHE'S DEAD? FUCKING HELL WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?? THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!"
Calmly place the phone back and carry on like nothing has happened, if anyone asks what that was all about have a go at them for listening to private conversations.
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

"have you got the test results... what... terminal??"

(PsychoChomp, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Then tell your boss you won't be entering the secret Santa this year

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

I'm doing this
when I get a job.
( jenpots, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

Buy yourself
a Honda Accord.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

That's the spirit
Honda justice for all
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

do another one
then look him/her in the eyes and say "okay, your turn"
( spacefish bong!, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

"your move creep"

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

haha

( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

a poo on the table usually
esculates the stakes
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 20 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

your office
is it really YOUR OFFICE?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 20 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

it's his cubicle

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

only cos he paid for the 'walls'

( jenpots, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

and covered them in carpet samples from allied

( manolith hooray for me, Wed 20 May 2009, 9:47, archived)

Work area
Not a cubicle. I'm stealing Internet on my iPod
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 20 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

you don't even work there, do you?
you just pretend to so people will respect you
( manolith hooray for me, Wed 20 May 2009, 10:31, archived)