I recently saw a music video
that featured women hula hooping, topless.

These women had fake tits and they were (IMO) the most hideously unsexy things I had seen for such a long time. Their physiques were similar to those of starved 12 year old boys with misshapen lumps on their chests.

Why did we ever move away from the idea that a curvy bird with a nice big arse and big, milky white, natural, veiny tits was the way to go ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

Jews.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/4378240
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Greatest ever thread.

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

I like my girls to have the bodies of 12 year old boys.
Penises included.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

You missed a comma
between milky and white.
( Mystery_Bob, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

The thought of Comma sitting between two milky white boobs
is enough to make you want to join the gays.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Then i insist you dont think about her dancing a la Uhura in Wrath Of Khan

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

I am now imagining her looming out of the dark at me
like an escaped extra from "One flew over the Cuckoos nest"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

Or the surfing penguin played by Jeff Bridges in 'Surfs Up'

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper1244/stills/eup9fe4n.jpg
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

Or "Fidel" from the Witches of Eastwick

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

the Witches of Eastwick
Cuba
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Pffft
I have to say the penguin is a pretty good fit.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

clickin dis for out of context lols

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

hahaa
*passes a pointy white hat over*
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

I like 70s banana wabble tits that are like ski ramps with puffy golf balls on the end.
OH THAT'S FUCKING IT I'M HAVING A FLOUCE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN *pisses everywhere*

/Mike? Was that ok? Can I go on your list now?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

There's a flouncing list?
Enlinkify!
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Ooo you dont see those any more.
Not in public anyway.

You see lots of misshapen beachballs with badly sited nipples though.

They are shit.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

I think we need to back to the 70s triangle boob. They were best.
no bra and running in t-shirts. lovely. It looked like an ape was trying to tickle them from behind up their tops.

I like rare tits on my girls. Sorta like collecting Pokemon.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

I think we should breed women
Lets go out and round up a load of prepubescent girls and allow them to grow organically on the farm.

Then, in five years we can HAVE AN ORGY !

An orgy of rejection *internet sad face*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

It's ok, the ones that reject us can go to the milking shed or abattoir

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

Mince them
and make chilli
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

Are you sure this wasn't an Aphex Twin video?

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

fucked if I know
really skiny women do fuck all for me.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

This

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

really skinny
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

At least they'd leave half their food at the restaurant....

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Sod them
women should look like women, not twigs.

E watches britains next top model and then women on there do nothing for me whatsoever.

I like seeing tits,hips and arse.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

models are mental too.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

cannot be helped as they are that self absorbed.

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I see on the BBC another one topped herself.

( Druid, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

Fat girl's skinny=Normal
Fat girl's curvy=Dumptruck
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

What about a fat girl's definition of fat?

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

Gravity well.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

You said something very inspiring about "fucking americans can even fuck up tits" once.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

pfft :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

It is my role
to inspire, provoke and repulse.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

I'm an equal oppertunity perve,
I like girls of most sizes apart from either extreme of the fat spectrum
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

When people decided that
any girl over a size 8 was fat
any woman whose tits aren't where they were when she was 14 is saggy
any girl without the arse of a teenage boy is fat.

Tell a woman that for long enough, and you'll get her to the point where she believes you. That's why girls in my class at school would cry themselves to sleep at night because they thought their perfectly natural bodies weren't up to scratch.


I never understood the 'hairless pussy, arse of a 14 year old boy' fetish, but then I guess I'm not a paedophile hiding in the closet (needlessly inflammatory remark).

As for me, I'm a size 12 and I don't plan on getting any thinner. My breasts aren't tiny little buds on my shoulders, facing skywards. I don't care. The men who like ththe kind of physique I'll never have would be best kept away from me.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

*makes a banner about this*
*wears it on arse*

Hello Captain. Where have you been?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Ill. You?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

aw petal!
feeling better now? Was it the AIDS? I'm good thanks.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Not particularly, to be honest.
But hey, never mind.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

rubbish!
I hope you'll still drag your leperous self to the bash next week? :)
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

Aye, I want to see how many people glare silently from a corner at me this time.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

huzzah!

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

So you're fat and have a massive bush ?
HOT DAWG !
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

no, I'm curvaceous and fucked almost nightly.
Somehow I think I'll survive.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I'm fucked at least five times a week
I've been overdoing my exercise routine.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

Shaven haven is win
As we've mentioned on here before, if you can easily confuse that with underage girls that speaks volumes of you
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I don't know, I don't really go for the shaven look, I don't prefer it.
Tidy, yes. Shaven looks a bit off. Even without the ten year old connection, it still just looks a bit weird to me.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Either or for me

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

either ANYTHING
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

In the shape of a stegosaurus FTW

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

Face on or side view?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

Side on
Obvs
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

t-rex with open mouth so it looks like it's biting your cock
FTMFW
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

there are degress of shaven too
I think fans of shaven aren't massively bothered about whether the area between the navel and labia is shaved or not (as long as it's neat/not overgrown).

/explict
( custard, Sat 23 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Thing is though, no hetrosexual man has ever said this is what women should look like.
It's all actually down to what girls think they should look like due to the media portrayal in female magazines and peer pressure.

Question for lads:

What is the most ANNOYING thing your GF can say to you?

"I look FAT! I'm not going out...*flops about trying on clothes for another 2 hours*"

You know I'm not sexist but this sorta thing really does grate on me...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

Sorry, but have you looked at Nuts magazine and the like?
Massive fake tits, tiny waist, vacant expression and a Maddy McCann haircut. Seems to be the same on each page.

Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. Luckily I've never been male so I've never had to walk a mile and that. Oh well.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

Your making the mistake of thinking we've only got a one track mind for girls.

All of those bimbos, look alright in a magazine because it's a cartoon aspect and taken as such, with banter and what the not, but when out, no man would want to sleep or pull one.

It's like a freakshow, you have to look.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

I think
it's a similar thought process to your average blokes attitude to buying clothes which is :

"I am insecure and have little concept of personal style, therefore I will look for so called designer branded clothing and wear this as I can hide behind the label"

Blokes look at these lads mags and say "I am too insecure to admit I find a big fat arse sexy on a woman, therefore I will demand that all women I treat to unsatisfying but mercifully breif sex have the physique of a 12 year old boy"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

^ bingo

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

That's so sad.
You'd save a lot of girls a lifetime of heartache if you were honest.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Beat her up a bit
then say "There, now you're too fucking battered to go out. Stay in and cook me some food, I'm going out to have sex with a prostitute and punch a kitten"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

I don't really know.
If you're going to fancy really skinny girls you might as well go the whole hog and go for boys.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

really unnaturally
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

that's what I meant.
I don't mean girls who are just skinny, it's the ones who obviously are not meant to be skinny.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/2522528
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Thing is
natrually ectomorphic women are sexy. It's starved mesomorphs that look shit.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

c'mon, hollywood says that's what's in
I'm currently on the water diet, in a few years I may rival Allegra Versace in sexiness
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 May 2009, 16:15, archived)