Rub it with a lemon!
It cures it, honest!
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Sat 23 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

This sounds like it might work.
In dense world.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

Do not (and I can't stress or repeat this enough), DO NOT eat salt and vinegar McCoys now.
Not without wearing gloves.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

It's ok.
It's not open, just uncomfortable when I catch it.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 22:59, archived)

Are salt and vinegar Walkers OK?
How about Seabrooks?
( in vino veritas, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:00, archived)

Walkers no. Seabrook yes.
It will be painful, but they are the finest crisps in the land after all.
K bought some from Booths this morning. I'm showing admirable restraint.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:05, archived)

I expect my discussion of their crisp waviness
and their delectable savoury taste isn't helping your resolve.
( in vino veritas, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

Hmm, they would be better than one of the 2 bags of Mr Porky piglumps that are also in the pantry downstairs.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:12, archived)

Are you mental?
Nothing is better than pork scratchings. Except snogging.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

What if…
You were snogging someone in a pub- and they turned out to have a pork scratching in their mouth at the time?
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

I'd ask them to marry me right there and then.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

You may be a generation apart from me
But you are a lady with the principles I hold dearly.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:24, archived)

Limey Treat is a top bird!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

That's going straight on my CV.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

No need for the internet knight appearance
I wasn't being nasty to her- at least I don't think I was.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

pfft! Mr Touchy! No internet white knighting here
i was agreeing with you
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Fair enough
Without being all sentimental and that- she's one of the b3tards I like.

There again, I'm just a fluffy big pussycat and love all of you.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

Awww! C'mere!
*playfully ruffles your hair with fist in a manly japery way*
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

My head is totally shaved.
Exactly what hair is that you are trying to ruffle?
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

erm, erm, erm
It wasn't even me!
A bigger boy did it and ran away
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:41, archived)

Oh
I hoped you were referring to my moustache.

It has taken me 3 months to grow so far and would probably look best under a Pickelhaube.

Or with a welder's torch in my hand in the ship-yards of Gdansk.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

I can't say anything when it comes to facial hair
I'm shit at facial hair (see profile for further clarification).
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

I'm a hairy bastard
I'm also 40 in three weeks and this is my first attempt at a moustache (on its own) since I was 18. It's starting to look like this. It's at the stage that I can part and wax it. I'm aiming towards this.

Only darker and more ginger.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Oh stop it. I'm blushing.
thanks :)
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

do you prefer the hard crunchy ones
or the soft fatty ones?
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

Snogs or pig lumps?

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:37, archived)

er snogs
no, pig lumps
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:42, archived)

*snoglumps*
or something. That sounded better in my head.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:44, archived)

Lumpsnogs.
*pusa's it*
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

Seabrooks make reasonable crisps.
If you prefer good crisps, then look for "Tayto."
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:15, archived)

Northern Ireland or ROI version?

( in vino veritas, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:17, archived)

Either's good
Personally I sway towards Tandragee Castle.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

Personally
I'm a Red Rock or Smiths girl.

chippie chippie chippie!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

You're a dirty forriner
With a Monty Python quotation in their sig to boot.

You don't count.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

Excuse me. The only thing dirty about me is my mind
I'm very clean thank you - shower twice daily, wash my hands after toilet business and/or getting off.

/gives a great sloppy kiss on the cheek
You're the first person who's picked that quote!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

Matches, matches?

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

/beams
"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

I am no longer infected

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:40, archived)

that's what they all say

(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:43, archived)

It's just a heat rash

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

And I'm the queen of England.

(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:55, archived)

I'll have to check you to make sure.
Apparently the Queen- God Bless Her- has Swann Hunter tattooed under her breasts. "Swann" under her right tit and "Hunter" under her left one.

Most people don't know that, but I met a man down the pub the other night who apparently is an old friend of Prince Philip and who served with him in the navy during WWII. Seems that Phil had a naughty photo of his new wife showing off her tattoos that he spread around to motivate the troops.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 24 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

bugger off
My tits are for one man's eyes only - not yours.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 24 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

Used to be that there was an unwritten rule on /talk
That you never referenced Monty Python.

Seems to have gone away now.

/Still appreciates a sloppy kiss- even if it is from the other side of the world.
( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

well I'm stubborn.
:) So I'd've referenced it anyways.

Or the Young Ones. Fuck I love the Young Ones.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:47, archived)

You killed a hippy!

( Lord Gnome, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

HA HA! MISSED BOTH MY LEGS!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

It's a telescope with a mouse in it

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

"don't look at me - I'm irrelevant!"

(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

Number 5
The larch.
( Lord Gnome, Sun 24 May 2009, 0:02, archived)

Never be rude...

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 24 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

CANDLE!
/first
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 24 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

Nobody wanted the first chick pea Neil.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:53, archived)

"it's risotto!"
"No it's not it's snow isn't it?"
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 23 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Yep! The Tayto Cheese and Onion ones I had in Dublin were terrific
see also: Ruffles Cream Cheese and Chives from that America
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sat 23 May 2009, 23:30, archived)