What are you lot doing today? Working? Job-hunting?
I'm off to Royal Ascot, and I'm not really interested in what you lot are doing today. I just want you all to know that I am about to have a better day than you.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

ahhh
I saw a lady in a very posh hat this morning.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

Was the hat so posh it had it's own monocle?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

so posh it had its own hat,
and that hat had its own hat too. In fact, it was hats all the way up.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

Anything else besides the hat?
/hopeful
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

She's so posh, she'd wank you orf.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

littleblackdress.
It looked like she had a wicker plate balanced on the side of her head.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

That was you, in the mirror with a pillow on your head Spango...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

I get very confused in the mornings.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

But it's 4pm in the afternoon!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

shit. is it?
i should have gone home 3 and a half hours ago!
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

sometimes i think millinery would be a very interesting job.
but then, other times i think midwifery would be cool.

i think i like the m words.
( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

midwifery would be a hell of a lot messier
I'd rather make hats.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

Don't be silly, binky,
Who Wants To Be A Milliner?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

bah, homberg

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

I think she's telling porkie pies.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

Trilby trouble if you keep on with these puns.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

i am beret disappointed.

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

I might tophat myself
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

I've never beanie so disappointed in you.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

have you been bowlered over?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

I'd hope such actions would be beanie-th you.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

too late, shortie

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

i must con-fez i am rather enjoying the puns

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

ho!
very good.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

they're getting rather hard to cap.

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

luckily the subject is BRIMming with possibility

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

a long line of puns like this stetson my nerves
oh god that was shit
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

this only makes me want to be a panama (punner more)

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

I felt it might be.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

subtle

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

*awards crown*

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

SHIT!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

who wants to be a milliner?

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

That was DG wearing a sombrero with 2 pug pups running circuits around it.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

Awwwww MAN that would be frikkin AWESOME!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

Sitting around in my pyjamas
debating if to make a cup of tea and some toast.

Our boiler is now FIXED. HURRAH.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

ah you can go back to work and do half a shift then

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

I could do but I have tonnes of washing to do
and general household chores and that.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

i'm going to asda when i finish at 12.30
food shopping, yay! imna buy a steak
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

Dead cow! Om nom nom!

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

YEAH!

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

I hope you'll be wearing a smashing hat/tophat

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

Of course.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

And a monocle?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

No.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

Not really
I can't think of many things more boring. Have a nice time, though.

I'm at work feeling sick.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

What about a Reality TV show about Ascot?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

I'm waiting in for a tent to be delivered.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

Oh.
Nothing too distressing I hope.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

What could be distressing about a tent?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

it could be a tent full of alligators

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

An erect tent full of alligators, with tophats

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

Raptors, Paul, RAPTORS...
*sigh*
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

both quite distressing, i'd say
raptors is worse

ALSO
kickpunchblock.blogspot.com/2008/09/important-stuff.html
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

Being trapped in one with a raptor?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

I was thinking of why you would buy a tent.
Eviction, repossession, exodus. There are few good reasons to buy a tent and may dreadful ones.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

...camping holiday?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

Most would go under dreadful

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

- What do you fancy doing this weekend honey?
- How about living like an African fleeing a civil war?
- Marvelous. I'll pack the baby wipes, you go get an oversize bottle of water.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

pretty much this.
it sounds like fun.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

Typing stuff (writing a website mainly)
Sitting about.
Calling people names.
The usual.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

smelly pants.

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

Pissyknickers.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

vomitknob.

( sleepybinky, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

Shitbasket

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

Nothing
I will go to work this afternoon to get paid to do nothing as I am cover today.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

Working today, it's shit and I've got no one to talk to and ping my bogeys at.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

Tonight is dance night!
I missed the last two weeks due to bring poor.
( SuperMatt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

My missus used to go to salsa lessons with her mate
Run by a fella called Mexican Bob. Some gypo from Keighley with and unconvincing 'tache and a permatanned wife called Yvonne.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

www.timesonline.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00488/HOLLAND_488132a.jpg
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

Just lke that
But about a foot shorter
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

Jazz Tap again?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

Joking aside I think you're probably quite good, I've always though of you as a bit of a twinkle toes.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

Cheers bud
you come along on Friday, and you might see some of my moves!
*flashdances*
( SuperMatt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

We'll see bud, I'm poor

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

poor straight
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

I WISH!
LOL!
( SuperMatt, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

I have an exam :(
It's my last one though :)

Yesterday's one was hard hard hard. Wish I was going to Ascot.
( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

I'll file you under job-hunting then.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

I have a job.
Really must go now. Bye.
( Jobe, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

I doubt you're having a better day than me...

(likeajackhammer, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

Not yet,
but Alexandros hasn't won yet.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)