My friend is pregnant. Her surname is New. If it's a boy, she wants to name it Beau.
Beau.

Beau New.

Bone You.

She doesn't want to name it Beau any more.

Whose days have YOU ruined today?
(__, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

None
I'm not a cunt. Although I am going to work in half an hour where I am paid for my cuntery, overtime cuntery no less.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

I didn't mean to be a cunt. I just said "Beau New" out loud. She said "well, when YOU say it, it sounds shit".
:(
(__, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

I will understand if people see this thread as "LOL I KNOW A GIRL"
It's okay. JMG will be here later. You can complain to him.
(__, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Aren't you a bit too young for such cynicism?

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

I know
I'm being silly
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

LOOK AT ME!

(likeajackhammer, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Oh fuck, yeah, I just started a thread
How the fuck dare I
(__, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

calm down, suger-tits
I wasn't having a go...
(likeajackhammer, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

I'M OFF TO NORTHUMBERLAND ROAD IN A MINUTE WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME?

(__, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

ROAD OR STREET?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

SUGARTITS

( sleepybinky, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

*licks tits*

( sleepybinky, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

your own or someone elses?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

how long do you think my tongue is?

( sleepybinky, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

like a giraffe's

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

The missus is going to hate me soon enough...

( B.T., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

Why's that then?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

It's highly likely she'll be the ex-missus by the end of the day...

( B.T., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

You going to turn her into a winter festivity?

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Pfft, Oh you...

( B.T., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

Because you're going to shout "SURPRISE, I HAD SEX WITH YOUR MOTHER"?

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

I wish I could give her a solid reason.
I can't, though. It just doesn't feel right anymore and I don't want to lead her on when my heart isn't in it.

I feel a right cunt.
( B.T., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

can't you have a chat about it and then keep shagging and being nice and that

( sleepybinky, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

I still care for her very dearly, but it's just not the same and it wouldn't be fair on her.

( B.T., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

so can't you have a chat and stop shagging her but be bezzy mates?

( sleepybinky, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

As long as it doesn't end up with you going back to her in a month's time saying you made a mistake, then you have to do it
It'll only get worse the longer you wait.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Exactly why I'm doing it.

( B.T., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

Make sure you get one last shag first.
Or get her to get a joint credit card, and then do a runner after running up a huge bill.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

It is a cunty thing to do.
I did it, and I felt like a right cunt.
( jenpots, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

It's things like this that make me glad I'm a computer geek

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Aye
Sometimes being disastrous with women can be a benefit.

Look at the positives Jim, look at the positives...
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

I was assuming he was talking about his computer.
Maybe he's seeing a laptop behind its back.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

I fucked your mum.

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Get off the internet, Dad

(__, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

This isn't an answer to your question, just a general statement.

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Yours
*detonates ze chargez!*
( SuperMatt, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

I'm calling my first born 'Awesomecoolhawk' just to elevate him even more in the heights of sexual coolness.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

I'd call mine squeeky13.

(__, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

He will go far in life

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

i think you are the pregant one
its all those balls you put in your cheeks
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

What sense does this make?

(__, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

nobodys
I'll probably end up ruining my friend's evening because she thinks she's going to make me go to a bar with her
she is wrong
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

why does she think that?
why have you not told her she is wrong?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

she has some sort of deranged mentality that she can get anyone to do anything she wants them to
I've proven this theory incorrect loads of times, I'm beginning to think she's just stupid
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

rubbish, you don't have friends.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

just kidding
but really, well done on being considerate.

I'd call the child 'Bastard'
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

my dad's middle name is Chris.
Chris Peacock.
Brilliant.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

I haven't ruined anyone's day yet.
I've been a kind and sympathetic shoulder to cry on for my friend who is splitting with his hubby.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

gay

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

Everyone in the lab,
by decided to work from home this afternoon. I might go and ruin everyone at the gym's days too, by sweating on the equipment.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

I help a friend in her bakery from time to time
and today some cunt screamed in my face for giving her a cake that was iced blue, not pink.

I suppose her day wasn't ruined, but my quiet bakery time was.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

It would be cool if it was a baby shaped cake and it looked like a dead foetus

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

Indeed
or a cake that looked like a womb. and when you cut it open, there's a foetus shaped edible thing inside.
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

with a wire hanger stuck in the head?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

exactly
and some form of jelly-snake umbilical cord wrapped round its neck
(BloodthirstyTurtle can no longer smell the blood of any englishmen, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

None, I haven't been with people.
I've been cleaning the house from top to bottom.
( jenpots, Thu 18 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

No-one's
I've been a irrepressible beacon of light and cheeriness to all around me. In fact, they're all coming up behind me right now to give me a newspap *ajsdfp\*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 18 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)