Fucking hell, internet, sort it out.
Let's have a little poll. Who from here that you haven't met would you like to have a pint with?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 22:54, archived)

Just for the record, I'm duty bound to say SSS so I get a sniff at tapping her mum up on one of her "vulnerable" times

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 22:55, archived)

Wahey
I reckon you me and Hankster should get together, so we can bitch about shit music and class snobbery for hours. It'd be like a threeway Billy Bragg competition
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 22:59, archived)

I was a miner AND a docker
Beat that, drawing girl!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:01, archived)

Err...
Raised by Tories in a nice house and a public school education. I'd only be there for the opposition
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:03, archived)

I went to a public school too
But on a bursary and with second hand uniform on account of being skint and starving. I probably had rickets.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)

I bet you totally got picked on by the kids whose dads had porsches
I remember being laughed at because I didn't have a horse. Still haven't got my head round that one
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)

Horseless cunt.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:08, archived)

It still hurts :(

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)

I am well aware that my name could betray me here
But I was in a class with people called Giles, Alton and an actual Tarquin. One bloke's surname was actually Bourgeois. I lived in a council house and my mum worked in a chippy. Fuck knows what my dad was up to, he was long gone.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:12, archived)

I knew a girl who ACTUALLY WANTED TO NAME HER CHILD TARQUIN
Despite being at a Convent, we all still took the piss
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)

I know a bloke, a teacher, who changed his name to Tarquin Badger
He is a tory.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:22, archived)

I'm deeply surprised

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:28, archived)

surpri arou
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)

*rubs thighs*

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

woah, woah, hang on, are you really a nun?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:22, archived)

Her full name is SugarSpunSisterMaryBernadetteTheresa

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:22, archived)

I'm totally a nun
and not a massive atheist like my online persona would have you believe.

Pesky keyboard, repent
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)

The point-of-contact staff at one of our biggest customers' head office are called Romyla and Cordelia.
Very ordinary surnames though.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:43, archived)

You should still stab them

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:45, archived)

Horsed up twats.
To hell with them darling, you're far too good for them.
( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:14, archived)

To be fair, I'm one of the few that didn't fuck up too massively
I WIN etc
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

Another social event that I'm not invited to :(
Probably because I'm shit at posting things like what I promise to.
I've still got a box of tea sat here on the desk next to me ready to post!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

OBVIOUSLY YOU!
I did forget about you, but you're lovely and all that :)
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)

You shit
At least I sent her some. You breaker of promises to ladies!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)

I'm a terrible, terrible man

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)

I'm made of tears
BOGUS IS A REAL MAN etc

Seriously, it's just jolly nice of you to even consider it
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)

mns is a bit shit at posting things

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)

Totally sending you a postcard too

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

I'll forgive him because he's ace

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

I'll probably take it on holiday with me and enclose a lovely* postcard


* - definitions of lovely may vary by region
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)

Are you holidaying in Skegness?

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)

COR! I can only dream!!
We're going to my favourite little village between Kirkcaldy and St Andrews.
This time on Saturday night, I shall be in the midst of an unregulated heavy drinking session with Edith Bowman's brother Alex, and Sparky Fraser.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:39, archived)

GET IN
Sounds lovely. Enjoy it massively (and I hope Mini T enjoys the inevitable beach)
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:41, archived)

He's a cunt in real life too
Punches cats and everything.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

You'll have to speak up, I was punching a cat in the face

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

Oh man, what a wanker
I bet you've never punched a cat in your life. MY HERO
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)

Come and sit here with me, darling
Let me tell you about the great war. It all started when the Bradford skins went to the Roxy in Leeds and the goths spilt a pernod and black.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:44, archived)

Double denim and Dexys abound

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:49, archived)

You, Hankster, GmOS and MrA
Probably some others who I can't remember. I dunno, you're all shit etc.

I'd actually LOVE to go for cocktails with Amberl, TFD and the one from Bristol.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:02, archived)

I haven't washed my hair since meeting gmos.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:04, archived)

Understandably so

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:08, archived)

I once had a lift off of GMoS in his actual car.
good times
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)

:)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=INgXzChwipY
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)

I actually hugged GMoS once.
And he keeps promising to come to my house with his melodeon.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:18, archived)

Make it happen. I want an invite.

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:30, archived)

I'm going to ignore your question and fantasise that I have a time machine and can travel back and unmeet most of you.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:03, archived)

You're dying to meet me.
You fucking know you are.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:05, archived)

I totally need to give you and him a massive hug.
Survival is not guaranteed.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:06, archived)

My hugs are pretty bone crushing too
BEWARE
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)

It'll be like Randy Savage and Stephanie McMahon all over again.
I don't even know what this means
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)

I'm totally Randy Savage.
WOOOOAAHH YEEEAAH!
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

This is true. You do give good hug.
In other news, HELLO!
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:17, archived)

I'm the fucking hug master.
Alright gorgeous?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)

Fed up of making lists and packing.
Want holiday start now. :(
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:23, archived)

This is possibly the sexiest mental image I have ever had.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:18, archived)

He has a hand shake like an anaemic jelly, in common with all other Lancastrians

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)

That was my penis.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:08, archived)

and that's where the phrase 'trying to nail a jelly to a wall' comes from

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:15, archived)

HA HA
Look at spazzy five cocks!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:16, archived)

Ahem

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:19, archived)

Hello there, Floppy hands

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:21, archived)

I'd quite like to meet hulk hogan or the whale from free willie
they've not psoted for a while though
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:06, archived)

I like to think that you are a legless man knuckling about on a skateboard made from a piece of broken fence and your one legged sister's roller skate

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:09, archived)

I wish, I fell off my bike and now my knee has a booboo
but only if bent in a very specific way that I can't stop doing even though I know it hurts doing it
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:11, archived)

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
machine
( CowJam, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:07, archived)

I'd like to meet him too.
A gal can dream.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:10, archived)

I bet he stutters like a paedo priest

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:13, archived)

You.
Gonzo again.
Blue Star and Foldfive.
Noit.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:20, archived)

:(
Totally not coming to see you when I'm in Scotland next week
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:22, archived)

OH FUCK.
AND THAT MNS, HE'S A LOVELY, SEXY MASTER OF TEA.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:24, archived)

You don't want to drink with Noit
Notwithstanding his knob arms, he now has mong legs. And he's gone all fat. Also I had to suffer the ignominy of buying Blue Star and Folds Five a half each last weekend. In public. People I know may have seen me! As such, I deem them bummers of the lowest accord.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:25, archived)

He'll look a skinny runt next to me.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)

As would Wales

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)

Harsh.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:34, archived)

Actually yes, I'd love to meet Gonz
One of the genuinely lovely b3tans
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)

He's a lovely hairy dwarf
My favourite jew
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:13, archived)

HBLC, glued eel, Shambles and Flapjack

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:24, archived)

Why?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)

To educate HBLC in the ways of League.
To see if glued eel really is Jeremy Vine
And the other two seem nice erudite intelligent chaps, who could hold a decent conversation, and appreciate a fine ale or two.

Plus the fact that Flappers lives in Holland which we all know is full of loldrugs and mucky women
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:31, archived)

You may have noticed that me and you pretty much head the table of Wants in this thread

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

I watched a couple of League matches and quite enjoyed it.
All the way through I kept thinking ''they'd be accomplishing more playing Union'' though.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:38, archived)

I fucking love you.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:28, archived)

:(

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:29, archived)

Hurts bro, dunnit?
How far is St Andrews from you?
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:32, archived)

About 120 miles...

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:33, archived)

Fucks sake
Are you actually in fucking Norway or something?
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:36, archived)

I wish!

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:37, archived)

SugarSpun as she went to the college I work at

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:27, archived)

FUCK YEAH
I might come back for night classes so I can get in with you guys adn have a go on your banjo
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:35, archived)

Already met Gilgamesh and GMoS at the same event, nothing's going to beat that.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:46, archived)

I sat on a train with GMOS, who is lovely, and TuTT who is a vacuous spunk rag, for four hours

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:51, archived)

She takes a nice photo, like

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:00, archived)

She does
But I felt like I'd been in the company of a slutty twelve year old, yet her dad has impeccable manners.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:15, archived)

See I'm a bit intrigued now
I'd always found her nice but a bit....something. Dunno.

Hmm.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:21, archived)

I'm not one to judge
But... you know...needy teenage something or other...
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:27, archived)

I thought as much

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:30, archived)

*knuckle bump*

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:35, archived)

:)

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:45, archived)

Tell you what though, I wish I could unmeet that gobby Heaton tart.
She has the dubious honour of being one of about three people I simply cannot tolerate.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:08, archived)

Probably all of them.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:01, archived)

Yo fredbotom

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 0:21, archived)