All hail king Neptune!
I've decided that today is going to be a good day for things! I will endeavour to be a positive role model and an achiever of stuff!

How shall your magnificence benfit the world today?
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:13, archived)

Dude, I'm just me
No more needed.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:15, archived)

Actually no
I'm going to buy a fucking big wok
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:20, archived)

The Big Book Of Internet Stir Fries
Wok and LOL.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:37, archived)

I don't care what people say
Wok and LOL are here to stay
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)

Yeah, yeah
it's only WOK and LOL, but i like it
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)

Sweet little Wok and LOL-er

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)

I Wanna WOK and LOL all Night

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

I love WOK and LOL
so put a little dime in the jukebox, baby
( Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:49, archived)

WOK and LO-OL (hey!) WOK and LOL

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

Something about Mortal Wombat

( Frisbee TeaBoy, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:54, archived)

Wok And LOL Children.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

YES

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:50, archived)

we built this city on wok and lol

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:52, archived)

WOK and LOL ain't noise pollution

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:55, archived)

toniiiiiiight, i'm a wok and lol star

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:57, archived)

When there was hunger and the web was king and ruled the idiots
When there was growling of the bellies almost deafening

Out of the internets, Salivation!
Noodles and meat and sauce
It 'twas the Wok & Lol creation
( sleepybinky, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:05, archived)

brilliant
I saw them at Wembley...they were spectacular
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:17, archived)

i saw them at glastonbury.

( sleepybinky, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:25, archived)

cool
God, I love Tap.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:27, archived)

tap Cock

soz.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:33, archived)

no apology necessary, I do love it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:46, archived)

one pair in the crowd had an awesome replica tiny stonehenge thing
much better than their actual set there.
( sleepybinky, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:49, archived)

But did they have a dancing pet midget binks?
Did they?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:50, archived)

YES well i thought so i dunno it seems like ages ago maybe i was drunk

( sleepybinky, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:54, archived)

HURRAH!
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:58, archived)

Long Live Wok And LOL

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:47, archived)

I'm going to Asda to buy more jeans
ALL of mine have torn in an unfortunate place, I don't even have any jeans left to walk to Asda with.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)

Probably because I buy my jeans from Asda

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)

They all tore in Dundee?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)

I used to spend a fair bit of time in Dundee
It is a terrible place
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:37, archived)

I've spent aproximately 14 hours there.
That was enough.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:47, archived)

i was there for a whole weekend!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:53, archived)

Walk to Asda with your torn jeans.
Make a statement with your flaccid cock trying for freedom through the unfortunately placed hole.

Shit in one of the freezers.
( gone, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:47, archived)

I've just noticed my jeans have an unfortunately placed hole brewing as well.

( gone, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:47, archived)

I might kill the idiot I work with.
She's a fucking retard and today she's a fucking retard in a bad mood. I on the other hand am feeling positively chipper. Hooray for me!
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:17, archived)

Whoopie cushion
no one can be grumpy when one of those is secreted under the cushion on their chair.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:19, archived)

ditto wearing a sombrero

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:21, archived)

I'm not wearing trousers
therefore not making a pair of trousers dirty, so saving the planet by not doing excess washing and wasting valuable resources. Are you wearing trousers? you planet killing bastard?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:18, archived)

I'm wearing my superman lounge pants
very comfortable and because they've got superman on them they're bound to be environmentally friendly. Stands to reason.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:20, archived)

might get
this
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:25, archived)

I'm captain Planet
photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2323/4/4/777570407/n777570407_5655417_8029.jpg
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:28, archived)

yikes!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:33, archived)

try this guy
costumefail.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/captain-planet-04.jpg
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)

haha awesome
I totally support these people, as they're having a great time with like-minded people and no one gets hurt. But fuck me, some of them are WEIRD.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)

I watched a documentary about a furry convention
i had a shower afterwards.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)

Yeah wanking that much gets messy

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

*yiffs*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

Doooohhhhhhh
walked into that one
DAMN YOU THEOBAAAANNNN! *shakes fist i anger*
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:47, archived)

shakes humps
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:49, archived)

my cat's just joined a skinnies club, he gets all dressed up as a human in his flesh suit and goes off pretending to be a skinnie with his friends, I mean I don't mind, but it's a bit weird
( vladimir, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:40, archived)

I had a really good night's sleep and I'm feeling pretty good today
Since I'm the main character in the sitcom that is my workplace, everyone will be happy as a result.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:18, archived)

with lolarious results?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:20, archived)

EVERYTHING is always lolarious

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)

so if SBP isn't in the newsletter this week
what are you going to set fire to first? I'm going to throw a lit box of matches at QOTW and see if it takes.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:37, archived)

I'm going to set fire to myself, Vietnamese monk style
And film it all for a super special Sunday edition of SBP
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)

I was working until 03:30 and came into work at 09:00
This is going to be "That episode were vmos drinks too much tea and gets cranky"
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:38, archived)

You'll end up shouting at someone then feeling bad, and then you'll learn a life lesson and there'll be morals

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:40, archived)

can we have a hilarious slap stick moment
with swivel chairs and pretty secretary that finally pushes him over the edge? i fucking LOVE those.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)

I'm sure that can be arranged
How about a slight misunderstanding with a local tv "celebrity" that blows up out of all proportion?
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)

perfect
carry on.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:55, archived)

By bringing the World The HOLY GOLDEN BUM OF DING.
SLIGHTLY NSFW
www.scaryideas.com/content/390/

Does it still work? Only it's blocked by my webfilter these days.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:22, archived)

oh my!
*monocle asplodes, killing 4*
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:28, archived)

"5 very good reasons to punch a dolphin in the mouth" has arrived in the post

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:22, archived)

I like the sound of that.
Smart arsed dolphins, giving it all that
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:28, archived)

www.amazon.co.uk/Reasons-Punch-Dolphin-Useful-Guides/dp/1449401163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1308908106&sr=8-1
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:35, archived)

i thought it sounded a bit oatmeal-y

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:41, archived)

I should take SBP in an Oatmeal direction
Setup, Beat, BUY THIS STRIP AS A POSTER, BUY IT ON A MUG, DO YOU WANT A T-SHIRT? POSTER! POSTER! POSTER!, Puke
( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:42, archived)

I want a SBP t-shirt and mug please

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:43, archived)

You can't have them

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:44, archived)

what about a ballpoint pen with a comic down the side?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:45, archived)

When you hold the pen upright puke pours down the side

( Theoban What of it, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:45, archived)

see? it's a great idea

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:46, archived)

Pfft
From t'other night on /links.

animalsbeingdicks.com/post/6441431977/dolphin-punch
(Lister of Smeg No talking. No smoking. Follow the orange line, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:49, archived)

Ouch haha

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:51, archived)

Bah Humbug!

( postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:26, archived)

Cool, The AWESOME Postal-san. I like humbugs.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 10:28, archived)

i shall be doing fuck all

( mongychops, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:24, archived)

you work too hard
( vladimir, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:41, archived)

You bring us bivvy and fishing The LOVELY mongy.
That is HARDLY fuck all.
*Awards ACE and HUMBLE Medal*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 24 Jun 2011, 11:42, archived)