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right that thread is done, give me you conspiracy theories

mine on adele : i still maintain some mad scientist at that fucking Brit school cloned alison moyet and weve ended up with this new dull fat cunt
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:25, archived)
I think women are capable of weeing standing up (i.e. at a urinal, not just splashing their shoes), they're just not trying hard enough

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:29, archived)
why would i bother, to be honest

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:48, archived)
You can keep your sit down piss,
When there are equal rights in public bathrooms. Ladies loos are always MUCH nicer than men's. Except in gay clubs. Filthy lesbians.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:51, archived)
Cor, filthy lesbians!
Imagine that!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:52, archived)
if there weren't any stinky urinals i wouldn't care about a unisex cubicle toilet system

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
but then the whole poor aim thing becomes an issue.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
we have to share at home, so why not out and about?

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)
They had unisex lavs in the Empire State building when I went

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:57, archived)
In my admittedly limited experience,
women's lavs tend to be in a much worse state than the men's, plus, women have to queue. I wouldn't swap.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:07, archived)
here speaks someone who aint been in many ladies loos.
a good portion of dem stink more dan de mens, an somma da shit u see in dem, mai gawd.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:17, archived)
public toilets, festivals, massive queues, how high can you piss up a wall competitions...

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
bearing in mind anatomy, i think i'd have to stand on my head to compete inter-sexually, for the last

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:54, archived)
Welp, now I've got a mental image of you upside down and pissing against a wall.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
Now think, straining to get that extra inch or two in piss-height, she accidentally plops out a little poo

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:57, archived)
Then it slowly rolls down her back
like a jelly octopus crawls down a window
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:58, archived)
thanks but my sphincter is exemplary.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:59, archived)
And that's a click

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:00, archived)
I'm imagining it with a little rosette stuck to it
for having won some sort of 'best in show' award.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:10, archived)
That is how all censorship should work.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:41, archived)
I'm not sure if I find this erotic or repellant
or both
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)
she-pee!! with an extra-long tube!

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)
I was once with some friends when the subject of the She-Pee came up.
A woman asked "What's a She-Pee?". I explained that "It's like a dick, only not as good". Which I think sums up the device's raison d'etre fairly well.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:01, archived)
peter andre and anthony worrall thompson are the same person.
petony andrall thompson boosts his public profile by either spending six weeks telling a disinterested nation how much he loves his kids, or committing a minor crime which enables him to remind the public how he was once abducted by a tramp.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:30, archived)
I think adele and AWT are the same person
same jaw-line
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:31, archived)
peter andre and worrall thingy are the same from the philtrum down. GO AND LOOK.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:32, archived)
So they're jawpple-gangers?
*mike face*
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:32, archived)
Hey! Look at you!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:37, archived)
David Coulthard and Minnie Driver only have one jaw between them.
So at any one time only one of them can appear in public, while the other skulks about in private, waiting for his/her turn with The Jaw.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:39, archived)
well this is going to give me nightmares.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:41, archived)
Jamie Oliver and Sandy Toksvig are the same person

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:31, archived)
fucking hell. it's like area 51 in here.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:34, archived)
Too many people pretending to be two people

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:35, archived)
James Martin and Nick Knowles

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:40, archived)
nick knowles looks like he steals horses for a living.
he's SWARTHY.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:41, archived)
Hah
Imagine him and David Essex when he was young....having a gay romp!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:43, archived)
Nick Knowles looks like he's gone wrong,
and is silently begging to be put out of his misery.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:44, archived)
I like the one with Melinda Messenger and the bald chap
He's there because no one else wanted the job, and she's there to ask local merchants for free stuff. Excellent tv show concept.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:46, archived)
If I had big tits,
I would totally use them to get a free kitchen.

I've got no use for an angry, bald sidekick, though.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:08, archived)
I think the homeless aren't homeless at all
They're just stupid and lazy. Ditto the handicapped.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:34, archived)
there's an eternal class war & it's a great lens for understanding history
but we're encouraged to think of ourselves as "all middle class" thus confusing our understanding of the world

also cats can read my thoughts
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:35, archived)
I find the word 'Lens' very arousing
I don't know why
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:36, archived)
would you press a lens to your vas deferens?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:38, archived)
I already am
Taking photos of it. I'll gaz them to you later.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:40, archived)
it reminds you of glans?

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:38, archived)
Ah, maybe

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:39, archived)
you are sexually attracted to men called 'len'

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
try and control yourself
t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRJRrZ5Hj55ZyDBDDrt26q0GXQjv-DwRTNjh5Q3fCjprjgQNq-S
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
Once I saw an ad for 'Lens Cabs' and I nearly fainted

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)
Osama bin Laden was responsible for the September 11th attacks.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:38, archived)
NO WAY MAN IT WAS THE CIA.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:38, archived)
OH SORRY AND THE JEWS.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:39, archived)
Wait a minute, but he's the Presid...
oh, sorry. I thought you meant the coloured fellow.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:40, archived)
Q. How does Adele like her eggs in the morning?
A. In a cake
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:49, archived)
Hahaha.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:52, archived)
I did a particularly evil out-loud laugh at that

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
yeah, right, but
q) is adele or noit more pretty?
a) adele is prettier.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
I see your point, but
q)No fat chicks?
a)Yes.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)
you know i could equally have put that reply to your comment
i just tend to read and reply to the bottom replies as they are more recent, topical, current and up-to-date.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:58, archived)
Well, yes but then the question would have been 'is adele or jackaction more pretty?', and the answer would have been different.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:59, archived)
the answer would have been the same.
anyway, i like noit. i just also like picking on noit.
(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:02, archived)
Q) Fuck you?
A) Yes, fuck you
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:01, archived)
i'm going to have to refuse your offer.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:05, archived)
the twin towers didn't have two planes crash into them, they were actually gentically modified super moths, attracted to the glare of the sun reflected in the windows of the buildings
that's why so much dust came down when they fell, it was the same dust you get when you kill a moth
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:49, archived)
I'd prefer this theory if the moths were genitally modified.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:56, archived)
Although current thinking says we are all Baldmonkey,
There is, in fact, NO BALDMONKEY!
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:49, archived)
Baldmonkey is actually like a scarecrow
but a scarecrow made of custard-filled condoms
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:51, archived)
I would like to see this version of the wizard of oz.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
The Cowardly RoryLion

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
There is more behind the mental. Behind the Baldmonkey there is a waki idea
and waki ideas, Mr Pig, are bulletproof.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:13, archived)
mongychops is frisbee adam's comedy account
or vice versa
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
fradam could never be a comedy account
no-one here would have been clever enough to come up with a frisbee enthusiast because i don't think anyone knew they really existed
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:00, archived)
they're like ghosts?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:05, archived)
completely transparent?

(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 17:11, archived)
you utter cunt MOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:02, archived)
shut up Madam

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:05, archived)
Adam would try to accuse someone else of being Adam, too.
You're not helping your case here, Adam.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:29, archived)
shut up mongychadam

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:30, archived)
Oh Quintadongychops
D:
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:33, archived)
GET A FUCKING ROOM YOU MUTUALLY MASTURBATING RETARDS.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:48, archived)
See Quintadong we even smell the same to her...

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:54, archived)
Mike's list became self-aware some time ago
and became Whorsepower
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:06, archived)
He and I do share the same effervescent joie de vivre...

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:15, archived)
Terry Wogan died a few days after he finished doing the Radio 2 breakfast show.
Rather than admitting it and causing an outpouring of emotion fifty times worse than the one for Princess Di, the BBC has had a number of impersonators stand in for him. The reason his new show isn't very good is that most of the production budget goes on ensuring the live audience don't see that Terry is an animatronic puppet.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 14:59, archived)
see also: the queen mother, who actually died in 1982

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:03, archived)
i always think that other irish chap sounds just like him on the radio 2.

(I helped save b3ta! sleepybinky, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:09, archived)
Racist

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:12, archived)
pork actually comes from cows, and beef from pigs. the meat industry keeps it quiet because they know people would riot if they find out

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:16, archived)
I'm already outraged!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:17, archived)
Lightguy is actually the head of PETA, and is trying to get /talk upset at the meat industry as part of her master plan.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:33, archived)
are you all going to believe what someone who sleeps in a blue whale foreskin says?

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:36, archived)
yeah

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:38, archived)
pretty much

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:43, archived)
absolutely

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:51, archived)
totally

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:53, archived)
wait, you're a GIRL?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:55, archived)
there's a conspiracy to make people believe freemasons are a secret and powerful cabal actively controlling society
to cover the fact it's just a bunch of boring middle-aged guys who like to get away from their wives for a night and play dress-up
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:38, archived)
Sounds a lot like frisbee tbh :(
Except for the middle-aged thing
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:39, archived)
*blackballs*

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:44, archived)
Rejection :(

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:55, archived)
OI!
Less of the 'middle-aged'
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 17:13, archived)
mcdonalds is made from all healthy, vegetarian products,
And in fact eaten in a sensible manner can significantly improve your health. Unfortunately fat people are stupid and don't know when to stop eating.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 15:51, archived)
There weren't even any twin towers to begin with.
There was just one alongside a giant mirror.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:11, archived)
mind. blown.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:12, archived)
So was the mirror destroyed too?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:20, archived)
No
The current tower being built is actually only half a tower but as it's up against the mirror your eyes are fooled into thinking it's a complete tower. It's a conspiracy by the US government to ensure that if terrorists try to fly a plane into that tower they'll fly through the mirror image instead.
(TitanLX, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:33, archived)
I understand and fully endorse this theory

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:37, archived)
are you feeling ok?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:46, archived)
NICE DUB DUBS

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 17:23, archived)
There was no real financial crisis at all.
A couple of hooray henry types at some major banks got bored and made a bet about how much they could piss off everyone.
Good job torquill and the gang, good job.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:50, archived)
Reading the Daily Fail gives you cancer
When you read the Mail it makes you angry, this makes your palms sweat in fury. Your sweaty palms melt the ink which is absorbed into the bloodstream. As we all know, ink is poisonous so after a short time all mail readers will end up lumpy.
(TitanLX, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 16:53, archived)