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I had a really good idea for a thread yesterday, but now I've forgotten it, sorry
What's everyone doing this weekend?

Alt: Marc Almond looks younger now than he did then. What's the story there?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:04, archived)
nowt exciting TH.
probably all that cum, they say it's good for the skin.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:06, archived)
Yes, I've heard that spunk is good for the skin, although I'm not sure why
What am I, some sort of sexy dermatologist or something?

How's tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:07, archived)
you're not? damn.
tricky! LOL!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:07, archived)
You trickster, you
Doing owt this weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:11, archived)
owt indeed, perhaps housework and that.
EXCITING TIMES!

you?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:12, archived)
It was my youngest's birthday yesterday, so we're having a little party for him on Sunday
Other than that, just committing certain deeds.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:16, archived)
oh? deeds of villany I'll wager.
what did you get little cap?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:17, archived)
He got an Iron Man costume, he looks the business
He got a load of cash too...Don't you hate it when your 4 year old has more cash than you?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:19, archived)
Yay for little peoples birthdays!
Don't forget to replace his heart with a nuclear reactor as a special present on the day.
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:21, archived)
I tried, but I couldn't make it small enough :(
It's about the size of a volleyball.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:22, archived)
Sellotape it to his back. He's only a kid
he won't know the difference.
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:23, archived)
and you'll get to be the baddie, which is handy cause you're bald.
goodtimes.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:33, archived)
See also: Lex Luthor

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:36, archived)
the insanely attractive eastern european lass just talked to me while I was making my cuppa.
I'm afraid I was less than my usual witty self.

thumpjda hurgustuwmmm llokoanchekakend.

and that's just her name LOL
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:39, archived)
I'm ashamed to admit that I once got tongue tied because someone stupidly good looking spoke to me at work
It was pathetic. I started stuttering and everything, then I forgot what I was going to say. She looked like a non-threatening Angelina Jolie.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:45, archived)
But the threateningness is the best thing about Angelina Jolie...

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:49, archived)
While that's arguably true
The softness of this girl's features made for an overall image that was just out of sight. I can't remember her name, so I can't even facebook stalk her :(
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:59, archived)
She sounds pretty vague. to be honest.
Have you tried maximizing her contrast?
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Jul 2012, 11:00, archived)
I find my voice goes all high pitched as well.
not only that, I find myself going out my way for nice looking lasses.
if it was say, Janet, I'd probably wait for ages just to slam a door in her face.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:52, archived)
that happens with me and malc all the time :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:52, archived)
some cunt poured water into the jar of coffee >:|

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:56, archived)
holy shit?!
is the coffee ok?!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:58, archived)
no, it's fucked.
I fear there may be a riot
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:59, archived)
i think that counts as an office emergency
leave the building and refuse to return until the problem is resolved
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:10, archived)
good plan, see you on the flipside.
if I don't make it, tell battered he's a prick for me.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:14, archived)
can't you just pour more boiling water into the coffee and keep it as a robinson's style coffee concentrate?
?
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:37, archived)
Is that why you have such a perfcet complexion?
LOLOLOLOL!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:32, archived)
I like to wank into my face, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:33, archived)
Are you some sort of povvo?
I pay nubile young boys to wank into mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:38, archived)
I'm a very private man.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:39, archived)
It's OK, I'm very disreet.
I'm sure we could come to some arrangement...
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:58, archived)
today's turning out better than I thought.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:02, archived)
Also, I've heard that the phrase 'puckered love cake' is used in that 50 Shades book
Is this true?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:06, archived)
that's some seriously good writing, I might have to get this book.
is it about interior lighting options?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:09, archived)
I'm not sure
My sister's reading it at the moment, so I plan on asking her about it when I see her. I shall report my findings post haste.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:10, archived)
txt me plz, chrs m8

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:12, archived)
*skypes*
*apologises*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:16, archived)
Tracey had it on tuesday
i found loads of references to bondage, but no filth whatsoever, and i looked really bloody damn hard

1/10, try harder next time mr grey
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:12, archived)
so it's about adhesives?
not very sexy :(
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:13, archived)
50 Shades of No More Nails is going to be the fourth book

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:21, archived)
50 shades of cuprinol, does exactly what it says on the cover.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:34, archived)
"Brad Pritt grasped the base, giving it a firm twist and the end slowly emerged.
And then he wiped it all over her face until she was covered in his white stickiness."
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:21, archived)
This is extremely brilliant
and no less silly than the actual book, it seems.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:25, archived)
Cave, not cake.
Cake wouldn't make any sense: horusporus.tumblr.com/post/25989097115/his-pointer-finger-circled-my-puckered-love-cave
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:16, archived)
Oh, I SEE!
Yes, 'love cave' is a much more sensible simile.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:21, archived)
the rest of that section makes the 'puckered love cave' bit sound quite pedestrian

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:22, archived)
I hope the rest of the book is as good as that

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:23, archived)
deal with the devil, obviously TH
it's how come i've got such lustrous hair as well
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:10, archived)
Blimey, I'd sell my soul for a really nice head of hair
Treat your hair well kids, you'll miss it when it's gone :(
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:11, archived)
*losing hair fives :(*

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:14, archived)
haha, you big baldy beardy bumhole

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:23, archived)
I don't have to stand for this
*kneels*
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:25, archived)
people are saying "it fell over" here far too much.
how's the report going?
not good, the system crashed so the whole process has fallen over.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:16, archived)
Oh god
And when did people start saying 'They pushed me under the bus'? I really hate that expression. And 'cougar'.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:18, archived)
isn't a cougar just a fat middle aged woman nonce?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:18, archived)
Yes, exactly that
Cougars are 'cute'..... yet middle-aged men with girlfriends in their 20's are creepy. What a world.

(edited to make more sense)
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:22, archived)
So a girlfriend young enough to be your daughter is applauded if you're 40, but frowned upon if you're 20?
And people say that age discrimination doesn't happen any more, it's a fucking disgrace :(
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:38, archived)
Nonono,
a cougar is a predatory MILF.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:46, archived)
yes, that's right
My post wasn't very well-worded, sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:48, archived)
Ohhh, I see.
Gotcha.

Nah, middle-aged men with hot 20-something girlfriends are clearly just swinging it, and are what we should aspired to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:26, archived)
People keep going on about "hospital passes" at work.
I was excited at first. I thought it was like a special sick note to get a day off.
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:19, archived)
I'm not familiar with that phrase
What does it mean?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:23, archived)
it means, toga party in ward 7!
*animal houses*
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:43, archived)
jedi's did it, lol

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:20, archived)
LOL! I bet those cheeky cunts broke the printer an all.
what are they like! I hope herman makes a well LOL gif about it.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:32, archived)
You are a very handsome man,
And marc almond is jealous of your manly charms.
This weekend brings worky worktime, and my little cousin coming to visit. What do you suggest I buy it as a present, it is 6.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:50, archived)
black & decker power drill.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:53, archived)
bag of concrete

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:57, archived)
bottle of jack and twenty embassy no1

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:58, archived)
If it's a boy, a football
Girl: pink football
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 9:58, archived)
kill bill volumes 1 and 2

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:00, archived)
50 Shades of Grey

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:00, archived)
give it your stupid little dog.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:01, archived)
another four six year olds so they can combine like megazord and become 18

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:18, archived)
This hurts my brain

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:21, archived)
the invasive medical procedure involved removes a 12 year old's worth of material from the total fleshmass
or I had a massive mathspaz
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:31, archived)
I'm going to do some floating about and some raining

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:05, archived)
CUMULONIMBUS!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:07, archived)
my leg is dead, send help

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:18, archived)
Fucking off to a lake
so that I can eat poorly-cooked food, get bitten by mosquitos and spend 48 hours bored out of my skull.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:06, archived)
That sounds like it should be fun

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:08, archived)
No it doesn't, don't be stupid
Sitting in a wood cabin next to a big pointless puddle can in no way be construed as fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:12, archived)
take a frisbee.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:14, archived)
he can play it with the car.
car frisbee, that'd shake those cunts shit up a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:15, archived)
How's that going to help? I don't have a dog.

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:18, archived)
Sitting in a darkened room, drinking shoe polish and watching 'Dog The Bounty Hunter'.
Just a regular weekend, brah.

Alt: Maybe having kids keeps him young????
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:14, archived)
catching up on the popular page, there seems to be a lot to work through

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 6 Jul 2012, 10:49, archived)