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*squart*
How do, willy'ies?

Shitty rainy day here. u?

Looks like I'm going to be back out there DJing again. Ever given something up 'for good' only to start doing it again? Was it a good idea or not?

PS get bent
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:12, archived)

careful
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
wow, I'm proper scared now

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:19, archived)
come on m8, I posted that in good faith

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:20, archived)
Nice shoes.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)

s

either one is fine
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:22, archived)
Didn't he used to post on b3ta?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)
you still do, m8

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:51, archived)
lols

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 11:24, archived)
I'm having an awful day.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:19, archived)

having
d g
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:25, archived)
I might just go home. It's awful.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:31, archived)
what's up, Windy-wee?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:39, archived)
I had a few days off last week, and in a tidy up someone has misplaced a chandelier cover plate.
It's supposed to go up today.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:53, archived)
shit

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:59, archived)
Like that Only Fools and Horses thing.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)
Yeah, pretty grey over here

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)
Warhammer, obvs.
Gave away all my shit over a decade ago, am now starting all over again.
No regrets, as it's a great way to bond with my nerd kids.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:23, archived)
WIne, Women, Wanking

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:28, archived)
I've never given anything up for good
which is why my basement is an awful hoard of guitars, snowboards, car parts, woodworking tools and broken electronics.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:29, archived)
Nop. The only things I've ever given up for good I've properly given up
I think there have only been a couple of those. A troublesome friend, sugar in my tea and smoking. Never gone back to any of them.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:33, archived)
Actually, that's a total lie
I quit smoking and on two occasions friends have badgered me into taking a puff of weed out of a pipe with no tobacco. Both times I hated HATED the sensation of smoke in my lungs. I never want to smoke anything ever again. Horrible sensation.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:35, archived)
I might have to give up dairy products
my guffs are becoming increasingly potent and it seems to be whenever I eat yoghurt.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:34, archived)
I think I'd better give up starting threads

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 11:04, archived)
life

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 11:12, archived)
I gave up the funk.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 11:20, archived)
morning

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 6:48, archived)
Wotcha

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:06, archived)
check out the fucking state
of that shit
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:38, archived)
Grrry has spoken!!!

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:45, archived)


(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
the three quando I've seen in real life lacked any kind of weather seal, utter garbage
morning
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:52, archived)
I have never gone "down there" on my bicycle
I think it's got Shimano hub things. I let the nice men at the cycle shop do that business. I really ought to do it myself, I know, but there's a planning injunction against me doing it outside my bike shed (I kid you not).
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:01, archived)
You what?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)
I had to get planning permission to put up my bike shed
I submitted a brochure of the bike shed, and the brochure showed someone fixing a bicycle in front of the shed. The stupid fucking cunt of a highways bitch put in an objection that doing that on the road outside my house was dangerous (being unable to work out that it was just a sales brochure and not a manifesto for how I'd use the shed) and so the planning permission came back but with a specific line saying I could not carry out any bicycle repairs in the road. I mean, the sheer insanity of it. Anyone else on my street can (it's a cul-de-sac so not exactly a danger to road users) but I have a clause preventing ME from fixing my bicycle there.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:08, archived)
Where do you live?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:09, archived)
London. But the shed is out the front of the house which is why I had to go through the council.
I've changed the use of a designated parking space. It took 6 months and I had to get architects involved. It was, to put it mildly, a faff. However, I now have a bicycle shed that for insurance purposes is a garage where I keep my motorbike so instead of paying £1800 a year I can get it down to about £750. So worth the hassle.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:11, archived)
Do you not have a back garden?
Or space inside? Just put some plastic down. I work in the kitchen because the floor can be washed after.
<s> etc
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:13, archived)
Oh, yes, I can. I've got a patio
I don't actually want to fix my bike in the road which is why I'm so flabbergasted that they put a clause in the planning to stop me doing it. I also can't run a business from my bike shed. My bike shed. Yes, big enough for a motorbike and one bicycle - they said I can't run a business. Fucking twats.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:15, archived)
the run businesses from phone boxes, a shed would be more than big enough

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:24, archived)
Bicycle repair businesses?
Maybe fixing Bromptons...
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:31, archived)
i've only seen mobile phone repairs, and i think one was selling food and drinks, dunno how that worked

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:38, archived)
illegal surely, bt property

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)
looks like you rent them
www.appearhere.co.uk/spaces/brompton-road-knightsbridge-iconic-red-phone-box
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:47, archived)
3 grand a month?
what sort of micro-business can afford that sort of rent?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:55, archived)
Brothel? Drug dealer?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
Rules of The Space
Council does not approve of illuminated signage at night.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
All clients must wear night goggles!

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:04, archived)
Estate agents have learnt how to target millennials:
"Send an enquiry with zero commitment.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:02, archived)
Oh god yes, I've seen a phone repair one!
In Greenwich...
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)

www.itv.com/news/2017-04-16/britains-smallest-cafe-opens-in-a-phone-box/
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:48, archived)
and drug dealing in the days before everyone had mobile phones

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:55, archived)
There are still loads of flyers for naked sexy time ladies
by the hour around my work
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:56, archived)
When they turn up they always look completely different and older, funny that

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:58, archived)
they tuck brothel flyers under car wipers in the centre
but the photos haven't been updated since the 90s, so its all pneumatic frizzy haired blondes with high-waist knickers.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
The centre?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
sorry, I meant the city centre here
Downtown, srodmiescie, whatever you call it
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:03, archived)
Well, that's when you start negotiating, I guess.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
"fifty quid, 'old out yer 'and".

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:03, archived)
yer, I wanted to do it and then realised I needed a special socket and a chain whip
fucking bikes, more stupid tools needed than repairing old German cars, fucks sake.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)
When I found I could not change the chain with a screw-driver and a hammer
and needed all these fiddly accessories I just gave up and took it to the mending shop. There's a man there with funny hair and they're rude so I like them.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:13, archived)
yeah, it's real bargain-basement stuff
but the weather here is harsh so I'd be regreasing the hubs each month either way.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)
From the neglect in the pic the races are probably scarred beyond usefulness already, get yourself an mtb hub if you can find one nowadays with the right OLD and that isn't disc, will hopefully withstand rougher treatment

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:10, archived)
shut up m8

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)
^^

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:13, archived)
It's a supermarket special I'm cleaning up to get myself outdoors this summer
I'm not planning to rip up the trails and splatter mud all over my lycra shorts.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:13, archived)
get the mcbeef look

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:15, archived)
the bike is bad enough as it is
some really ugly trainers and a dickhead top knot will just get me mugged
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:20, archived)
Waste of time doing bicycles.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:54, archived)
Windy's cyclo-cross!

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:00, archived)
Mooples

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
sounds like a ceebeebies reject

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:47, archived)
I was thinking more of All The Young Dudes...

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:02, archived)
IBYW
YDOB
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:03, archived)
I set that one up nicely, didnt I?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:10, archived)
Also, I was listening to the radio today,
And one woman you could hear all the smacking and wet noise of their lips and stuff moving about when she was talking. Why do the radio folks not tell them to sort it out and be less disgusting. It's really off putting.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 7:56, archived)
You still managed to knock one out though, yeah?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:00, archived)
It's hard on the walk to work, but I managed it.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:04, archived)

l n
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:09, archived)
you have to eat a green apple beforehand
but some mics are so sensitive it's really hard to avoid all that shit, especially in live broadcasts.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:05, archived)
It was awful to listen to.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:10, archived)
When I did my barge trip
I got stopped by some roaming beeb countryfile reporter doing talking heads, and she asked me for an interview. So I put on my best radio voice and her facial expression told me her clunge was wetter than the Caen Hill Locks.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:19, archived)
You sure her false teeth hadn't slipped back and she was choking?

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:32, archived)
+and then someone dropped a cow onto me off a bridge

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:39, archived)
it would have made the trip more interesting.

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)
*pfffAAARRffppfffft*

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:38, archived)
best thing you've said all week

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)
/talk classic!

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)
Now That's What I Call /Talk!
Containing all your favourites:
You fucking stupid fucking cunt
*pfffAAARRffppfffft*
heehee pointing at chickens
my knickers are red and have podka dots on
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:13, archived)
*fliip*
*flaaapp*
*flaaarrrrrrrpppp*
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:58, archived)
When I drive my car, I am not driving.
I am participating in a conspiracy called 'traffic'. I will walk.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
you are the traffic

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
I ditched the car and walked the last bit today

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)
Think I saw a dead body this morning
there was a homeless guy on the floor outside the supermarket, one of the rough sleepers but I got a bad feeling about this one. There are usually homeless people sleeping there first thing, but his head was actually on the pavement and his face was visible - they're usually well wrapped up. As I walked past I thought he looked worse than they usually do. Whole area's been cordoned off now. I recon he was dead.
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:58, archived)
this is because you stopped buying Big Issues

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
It was probably taking the unread issues back and demanding a refund
that really fucked him up
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)
oh

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 8:59, archived)
my

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
giddy

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)
fuck

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:06, archived)
^^
Totally nicking this for my sig
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:09, archived)
can you text me when the board is fewer shit pls

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:27, archived)
you could join in
don't you live opposite a bicycle shop?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:32, archived)
you fucking stalker

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:37, archived)
it was there 18 years ago, can't believe it would've closed by now

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:39, archived)
no soz

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:37, archived)
game show

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)

game wank
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:37, archived)
bottom

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:19, archived)
toucher

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:21, archived)
Maybe Adrian Edmondson could do a sitcom where Eddie Hitler lives alone
called "Buttock".
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:25, archived)
morning
not feeling it today, can I go home pls?
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:47, archived)
well of course
literally no one is stopping you
(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:50, archived)
Well, apart from my uniquely strong work ethic, of course

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:52, archived)
but that's not a person as such, so you are correct

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:53, archived)
so go home

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:54, archived)
cheers boss

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)
nobody's your boss

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 10:04, archived)
I have a hallway with cork flooring tiles and the missus wants to crap on top of it.
AMA!
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 21:29, archived)
will you vom on the shit and then put another cork tile on top and pretend it's a giant s'more?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 21:30, archived)
Yes

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 21:58, archived)
You might very well dream of having your missus ram a giant cork up your arse but that's none of our business m'haittt.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 21:32, archived)
I hear Christian the oc O'Connell is emigrating to Australia

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 21:51, archived)
Surprise her by getting Geoff Capes in to do the job.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 22:00, archived)
I are poo

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 22:03, archived)
Any news on the iee 18th?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 22:16, archived)
Goes live July, compliance to new regs enforced by Jan.
Biggest change is a new chapter outlining energy efficiency requirements for new installs as far as I can see.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 22:26, archived)
Trace heating has been a grey area for a while , I think I read they might have words on that, but that can be energy saving now

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 22:35, archived)
Bloody hipster millenials
What?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 22:34, archived)
I honestly didn't know they still made cork tiles

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 22:36, archived)
bits of corn y/n

(, Tue 27 Mar 2018, 4:17, archived)
I have a hallway with cork flooring tiles and the missus wants laminate crap on top of it.
i assume the cork is already floating on something. do i need another underlay for the laminate crap, or should i just shove it in and hope for the best? cheers.

alt: cheers
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 18:32, archived)
I don't really know anything about laminate flooring so I'm going to say yes.
We moved into our new surgery today. It's pretty nice but none of the computer stuff worked properly because NHS IT is shit and rubbish.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 18:42, archived)
is that yes i should shove it in and hope for the best, or yes it needs another underlay?
you know the telly that plays the same 5 minutes of shit animation and gormless public health announcements on a loop? could you turn that shit off please? thanks.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:03, archived)
There's usually an underlay you put down. I'd rip everything back to the boards and start again.
It comes in big sheets.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:05, archived)
Like ur nan, lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:07, archived)
i'd go further than that
burn the house down and start from scratch
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:08, archived)
christ
i'd rather you were all posting skinks than this bilge
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:08, archived)
I assume the snail is bait
www.goldcoastsnakecatcher.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/619.jpg
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:40, archived)

say whaaat?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:49, archived)
Madahooha?
www.zoochat.com/community/media/madagascar-giant-water-skink-amphiglossus-reticulatus.311200/full?d=1449179018
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 20:05, archived)
You have to go back to a good known solid surface
then lay a membrane and an acoustic deadener (cork, foam, whatevs) and then put your laminate on top of that. Otherwise it'll warp and split and look even shitter than laminate flooring and everything else in your life already looks.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:18, archived)
Take the cork and peel it back, now isn't your laminate better

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:42, archived)
Yeah everyone take advice from the guy living in a country where they hang rugs on walls.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:55, archived)
^ can't afford flock wallpaper

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 20:19, archived)
Bubble wrap will do

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:19, archived)
Andrew lloyzzzz

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:24, archived)
Underlay, underlay! Arriba, arriba!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:39, archived)
^gratuitous rug reference

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:43, archived)
I always think this when I hear 'underlay'. It's impossible not to.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 22:46, archived)
same

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 23:01, archived)
cheers

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 19:52, archived)
Chin the slag
Cheers
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 20:04, archived)
shit on the floor

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 20:14, archived)
open the door+

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 20:16, archived)
take off your pants and your panties

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 21:12, archived)
You could try fucking off, you fucking cunt

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 20:35, archived)
I got a lightswitch in the post at the weekend
I must have won the rubbishest competition going - what have you won that was really useless?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:43, archived)
a bottle of old spice

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:49, archived)
Great to light a fire if your sticks are wet

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:55, archived)
i'll bear that in mind if i'm ever stranded

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:21, archived)
a packet of sex mix

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:51, archived)
Is this like dolly mix but with more balls and tits?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:55, archived)
No, it's like Bombay Mix
but mustier
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
Once took a bag of Bombay Mix to Norway on a work trip
They freaked the fuck out as they had never had anything like that before.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:04, archived)
Who, the people of Norway?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:05, archived)
Yes
They have nothing like it. Nothing.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:07, archived)
but it's not *that* good
It's just sticks with powder on them
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:12, archived)
the little green pip things are nice

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:20, archived)
did you freak the fuck out the first time you had them?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:21, archived)
i very much doubt it

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:36, archived)
sounds like bullshit to me, m8ate

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)
Yeah, I'm not buying it
Even if they had "nothing" like it at all, in the WHOLE of Norway, would they really "freak the fuck out"? Are they that easily amazed?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:19, archived)
From a nation that gets excited over people doing that running then shooting then running then shooting sport
Bombay mix is orgasmic
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:22, archived)
I wouldn't call the normal american school day "sport"

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:42, archived)
Go to Norway and disprove me
I'll wait.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:20, archived)
The burden of proof is on you, m8
we don't have to disprove anything
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:21, archived)
Look, you can just say you can't afford to go to Norway
I wouldn't judge. Much.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:25, archived)
^upset

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:25, archived)
^upskirt

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:31, archived)
I'd try here first
www.globalfoodcenter.no
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:36, archived)
maybe this page
www.globalfoodcenter.no/produktkategori/notter/
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:42, archived)
Conclusive proof
I rest my face
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:44, archived)
come on m8, that's NOTHING like bombay mix

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:44, archived)
soz mat8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:49, archived)
WOW KEYBO! YOU SO FLY!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:51, archived)
Screengrabbed that
No takesies back.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:53, archived)
no, it's like little mix

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
but mustier

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:12, archived)
when i'm finished with 'em, etc

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)
disgusting
and I don't say that often, as you know
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:19, archived)
lifetime subscription to b3ta.com

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:56, archived)
Comes with free 60p ham
and massive weight gain, then loss, then gain again
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:59, archived)
Tickets to see a band called Calexico
They were so shit they were ultra shit.

Edit: So that's why my spidey senses told me to return to fucktown
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:59, archived)
Candles ahoyhoy

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:01, archived)
Woah you is WELL old

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
And I have the anal cavity damage to prove it

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:06, archived)
I like Calexico

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)

Calexico
+ ants crawling into my piss pipe
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:18, archived)

exic ipp
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:37, archived)
+in my piss pipe

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:42, archived)
chilly willy lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:45, archived)

lol
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:56, archived)
First prize in life, m8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
I won a T-shirt on b3ta.com once.
It says "What do we want? A cure for Tourette's. When do we want it? Cunt." So I can never actually wear it in public unless I want people to think I'm a loledgy prick.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:07, archived)
:(((

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:37, archived)
bollocks
i got one of those from the london bash a few years ago, i wore it in spain
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:37, archived)
Classic bantz!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:38, archived)
was it you who wrote a filthy story on the back of it
involving bob monkhouse fapping in a bush?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:44, archived)
Yes.*

* I have no idea what you're on about.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:50, archived)
I hope you got thrown in jail
lol gay-ol
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:44, archived)
holding cell once, but that's about it

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 17:04, archived)
School raffle. Book on red squirrels.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:07, archived)
A Ricicles t-shirt that glowed* in the dark
* glew
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:15, archived)
I use words like 'glew'
yet again, purely to annoy my wife
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:22, archived)
someone i went to college was adamant that 'screwn' was a word
to be used in place of screwed. she would get quite cross about it, if memory serves
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:35, archived)
screwj

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:43, archived)
mcduck?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:44, archived)
also, your post about getting stang off a jellyfish still upsets me a bit

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:40, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:45, archived)
google says glew is the right word

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:38, archived)
stop using google.jp

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:43, archived)
google says a lot of things

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:43, archived)
google said you smell, of poo

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:51, archived)
google needs to learn when to shut up
or it might just walk into another doorframe
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 17:01, archived)
I got the jackpot in a rollover week on the national lottery, but they say money can't bring happiness and anyway I'd get bored if I gave up work so I didn't bother claiming it

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:27, archived)
that's the spirit

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:41, archived)
alright spanishfly

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:45, archived)
heh

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:48, archived)

h y fucked
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:52, archived)
-> qotw

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 16:48, archived)
the sweets from a penny pusher
i will never eat them as they look like knock off haribo plastic vat detritus
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 17:34, archived)
god damn the pusher man

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 17:39, archived)
Anyone got a good idea for a thread?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:11, archived)
My faviourite lift journey
Well, you could say it has its up's and down's!
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:14, archived)
oh hahahaahahahahaaaaahaahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:26, archived)
You've definitely got downs, m8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:29, archived)
You're just jealous that I'm special

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:31, archived)
Yes but I'm saving it for a special occasion

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:18, archived)
i approve of this
too many people these days squander thread ideas by just blurting them out willy nilly.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:27, archived)
pls can you put it on /calendar?
I'd hate to miss it
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:34, archived)
prick

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:25, archived)
wanker

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:26, archived)
no

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:30, archived)
post your ideas here and we'll pick the best one at the end of the week
b3ta.com/talk/threadsyoudliketostart/
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:32, archived)
bedsyoudliketoshart, more like

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:40, archived)

b3ta.com/board/11251049
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:41, archived)
Benny Harvey RIP

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:42, archived)
Happy Bangladeshi independence day!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:43, archived)
thank you!
I feel under-represented on this forum
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:47, archived)
you dudes fought for it, and ya got it!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:49, archived)
did... did he run himself over again?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:07, archived)
Open carry in the workplace

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:46, archived)

78.media.tumblr.com/a90c02e248c92b017684ada947ded0a4/tumblr_o1l0gzHdeU1s52q75o2_1280.jpg
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:48, archived)
cheaper than kevlar

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:50, archived)
Kevlar - that may be its name, you know.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:55, archived)

callofduty.wikia.com/wiki/Two_Birds_with_One_Stone
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:09, archived)
360 no scope headshots

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
shit
I should have replied with "Sounds like someones got a case of the Mondays!"
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:11, archived)
getoboys.gif

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:14, archived)
Benny bum botter wood I queer whore ass head, more like

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:08, archived)
so true

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:12, archived)
funny how it seems

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:14, archived)
survival plans for the half term

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:36, archived)
i'd be up for that one

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 17:30, archived)
Happy 'make up your own holiday day' to all boarder's
www.checkiday.com/bccb6b0aab1ad87cc42b7cb2515e1f59/national-make-up-your-own-holiday-day

So come on, what holiday should today be?

Also, I do hope you all had a splendid weekend and are looking forward to the week ahead.

Kind regards

Richard (mcbeef)
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:54, archived)
National fucken penus day or summat

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:55, archived)
Oh come on now, really?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:55, archived)
oh, so you've got something against my fucken penus all of a sudden?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:49, archived)
apart from your lips, obvs

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:50, archived)
no response
must have his mouth full
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:35, archived)
Date for your diaries: April 8th is Dog Farting Awareness Day, apparently

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:55, archived)
Siberian Guffy

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:00, archived)
Dobermingingeggy

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:01, archived)
English Mustguff

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:03, archived)
Arsation?
Bull Mastwhiff?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:59, archived)
Shit Sue

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:02, archived)
Yorkqueef

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 15:24, archived)
National reverse parking day

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:56, archived)
National Shoe Day

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:56, archived)
erry day, m8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:57, archived)
After you think you have a holiday in mind, look over some tips from Checkiday as to how to get the ball rolling!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:03, archived)
Maybe yours will catch on

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:07, archived)
I won't have you spoiling another Holy Week

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:03, archived)
talc your bollocks 23rd April

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:03, archived)
International Rubbish Thread Idea Day

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:08, archived)
men without hats safety dance day

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:09, archived)

morbotron.com/video/S04E06/Hbm-n_v7Y8KE_mCr4qKxQp2nypM=.gif
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:53, archived)
BIG SMELLY FANNY FART APPRECIATION AND AWARENESS DAY!!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:24, archived)
National Free Gin Day

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:25, archived)
national leave work, go home and smoke dope while playing videogames and eating burgers-day
or NLWGHASDWPVAEBD for short
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:45, archived)
catchy

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:49, archived)
I'm there

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:53, archived)
wanna play bomberman

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:15, archived)
have you tried that bomberman clone on PS Plus?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:18, archived)
not yet
any good?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:36, archived)
defo

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:21, archived)
It's National Dad Joke Day!
Hi National Dad Joke Day, I'm Dad etc etc
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:48, archived)
that doesn't even work in the extremely limited capacity that it even could have worked
national boo grrrmachine day
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
I stopped being funny two decades ago

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:59, archived)
nothing's allowed to be funny since 9/11

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:06, archived)
thanks obama

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:12, archived)
no probs

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:14, archived)
Fuck a Cactus For Jesus Day

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:48, archived)
why do you think it's called "the agony at the garden at gethsemane"?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:52, archived)
if you cut the cactus down, put some gloves on and then picked it up and fucked the stump, that'd probably be alright

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:07, archived)
haha
oh god
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:11, archived)
if you don't have a robust emergency cactus fucking plan, that's your own lookout
i like to be prepared
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:12, archived)
queer eye for the cactii

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:13, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:15, archived)
Lack of hookers

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:08, archived)
National 'National Day Awareness' Awareness Day

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:50, archived)
2 aware 2 care

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
sequel to the aware and the caring
with vin diesel
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:14, archived)
Not My Birthday Day

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:57, archived)
that comes up more often that you'd think

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 12:58, archived)
are you on about your penus again?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:35, archived)
it's always about that

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 14:02, archived)
It's not a holiday if I don't get a day off so,
y'know, unless you've the power to declare an actual national holiday, I suggest you take this idea and stick it where the sun don't shine.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:38, archived)
^ upset

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 13:57, archived)
morning

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 7:37, archived)
Grrrmt+1

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 7:54, archived)
that time shift messed me right up

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 7:59, archived)
i didn't really notice
there's only one clock in my flat that doesn't update on its own
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:06, archived)

l
lol
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:10, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:11, archived)
oh

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:13, archived)
!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
only one cock in your twat, more like

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:13, archived)
ah
ok this is awkward
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
I feel such a fool

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:25, archived)
how many have you got in yours then, mister fancy pants

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
3

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:24, archived)
fair enough then

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:41, archived)
SPRING HAS SPRUNG!!
Yahoooooooooo
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 7:59, archived)
monday's are not meant for this level of enthusiasm

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:01, archived)
On the way out the door I tripped over a chick riding a lamb with a daffodil in its mouth

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:10, archived)
I hope the police pulled her over for having a bulb out.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:11, archived)

 
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:12, archived)


(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:33, archived)
ha....bulb

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:45, archived)
Well that's the good mood over

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:56, archived)
lol, like a glans!!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:20, archived)
lol, i bet you do!!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:53, archived)
g'day, cunts

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:33, archived)
his wife's turned him lads, it'll be shrimps on the barbie before the day is through

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:51, archived)
Sunny morning!
We've just booked a couple of days in Gdansk at the end of April - what's it like?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:44, archived)
get some amber for your loved ones

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:51, archived)
You need to treat Gdansk, Gdynia and Sopot as one big town, called TriCity
they've all got their own personalities, but it's generally considering the art-and-party capital of Poland.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:51, archived)
Cheers! What's the public trasnport like in Gdansk?
Is it easy to get around?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
oh yeah, buses and trams aplenty
I haven't been there for yonks, but you should be able to put all-day passes that won't cost much.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:24, archived)
That's what I thought, but good to know, ta!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:51, archived)
what dates do you mean by "end of April"?
cos most people will take the week off from 30th April to 4th May, so the weekend before and after will be crammed with holidaymakers too.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:58, archived)
26, 27, 28 & 29 so looks like it's gonna be busy

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:13, archived)
how dare you

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:52, archived)
It had to be done

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:53, archived)
yeah so what?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 8:56, archived)
so do something about it you wanker

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:03, archived)
bite me

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:03, archived)
you're too chewy and tasteless

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:15, archived)
Fuck BST.
I want my hour back.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:05, archived)
you can have it back in six months
Greenwich is holding it as collateral
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)
and the interest accrued in 6 months is fucken staggering

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:15, archived)
Booked Rome, awraaaght
My kid's mum is going to be so pleased for us.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
well she's been so supportive in the past
I can't see how this could be any different
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:23, archived)
Nice one! I really like Rome
I could spend hours watching the chaos of the police directing traffic - it's like a Benny Hill sketch come to life.

And the cannoli.... urghghghgmgmfmfmfmf

Do you get to take the sprogg? Will your child be able to say "well, the pizza here isn't as nice as it is in Rome" from now on at every opportunity?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:26, archived)
No holidays with the kid until the court intervenes I expect.
This mini break is in term time so couldn't take her anyway, mind
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:31, archived)
I really enjoyed the Vatican tour
if you like your renaissance art it's a helluva day out... I do enjoy the odd caravaggio & titian, m'self, though I prefer Dali/Miro/Picasso so Madrid was awesome.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:20, archived)
I didn't enjoy it all that much tbh
My favourite part of the Vatican museum is that bit with the broken off odds and sods from massive statues.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:27, archived)
The pope's vehicles was a fun and very quiet room
great gilded carriages to a VW Beetle
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:28, archived)
The traffic in Naples makes Rome look quiet and well ordered
At least in Rome they don't tend to drive on the pavement
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)
ALSO
naples sounds a bit like nipples
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:16, archived)
see nipples and die, m8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:17, archived)
FEMBOTS!!!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)
Not everyone has machine gun jubblies

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:26, archived)
+tickets to see
+at Infest
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:34, archived)
And the all talk, like, bibbedy bobbedy boo

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:17, archived)
my youngest says that italian people sound like turkeys

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:18, archived)
racism

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:23, archived)
turkeys aren't a race, m8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:26, archived)
Reminds me of Bernard Matthews "Rivers of Blood" speech

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:27, archived)
bootiful!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:33, archived)
well
it's not that i'm necessarily calling you a complete fucking liar but...
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:36, archived)
oh shit

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
It'll be past its use by date.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:36, archived)
I'm not sure how having sex with Bonnie 'Sauce' Tyler is going to fix that

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:41, archived)
in b4 two hats

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:18, archived)
gutted

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:25, archived)
that's a shame

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:32, archived)

b4
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:50, archived)
Ok, I'm worried now
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/health/freemasons-donate-1-088-toward-da-vinci-robot-appeal-at-qa-hospital-1-8431319

Freemasons donate money for a robot called 'Da Vinci'?? I bet they fucken do.
Also, look at the amount they donated! It's so obvious!!
10, as in the Ten Commandments.
8 + 8 = 16. Then 1 + 6 = 7. Get it??? THE 7 CREATIVE POWERS OF THE GODHEAD!!!

Illuminati is alive and well and living in Portsmouth.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:30, archived)
Even posting this has probably put me, and anyone around me, in great danger

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:31, archived)
b3ta has been under their control for a long time
rob is definitely one, possibly manolith too
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:35, archived)
Ok, get this
The hospital is named after Queen Alexandra, right? The SAME Queen Alexandra who was married to Edward VII, of the house Saxe-Coburg and GOTHA, yeah?

Go back in time to the late 18th century, where Adam Weishaupt, the man widely believed to have started the Illumanti as we know it, is banished from Bavaria, to spend the rest of his life, where? A UNIVERSITY IN GOTHA.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:44, archived)
and Weishaupt translates to wanker in english

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:51, archived)
Really makes you think

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:53, archived)
it certainly does

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:56, archived)
I'm thinking as I type this

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:57, archived)
I thought twice last night and again this morning

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:10, archived)
i've got a thinking bib

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:17, archived)
so adam weishaupt is...
batman?
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:06, archived)
alright 'not edward nygma'

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:22, archived)
alright

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:53, archived)
THANKS MAT8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:05, archived)
I'm just glad I moved off the island

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:09, archived)
i'm glad you did too

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:33, archived)
they're not even trying to hide it now

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:32, archived)
we're through the looking glass, m8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:34, archived)
Funhouse mirror, more like.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:39, archived)
cor those twins though eh!

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:41, archived)
you know what they say about twins, right? eh? hmm?
there's two of them!
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:09, archived)
COR

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:28, archived)
Why am I finding this so funny?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:28, archived)
u r fucked

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:34, archived)
This goes all the way to the Lord Mayor, m8

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:46, archived)

keyword: jowls
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:08, archived)

yikes
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:12, archived)
morning

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:50, archived)
finally, a sensible reply.

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 9:58, archived)
i just dun ein ploppenshite lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:23, archived)
Don't lie, it was eine splattencacken

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:30, archived)
Blimey, were you there?

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:34, archived)
I could hear the backsplash from here

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:39, archived)
Morning
It actually looks like spring today
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:23, archived)
I thought so too
but I went out on the balcony and my nips stiffed up immediately
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:43, archived)
It's still cold
But I definitely need to weed and sort my pots this week if I want any salad ready by mid may
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:05, archived)

d and sort my pots this week if I want any salad ready by mid may
lol
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:10, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)
Lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)
lol

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:45, archived)
Hiya

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:25, archived)
coo-ee

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 10:43, archived)
alright m

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:13, archived)
alright mano

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 11:18, archived)
evenigh

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 23:43, archived)
sympathy reply

(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 7:37, archived)
Morning.
4 day week! I'm a happy camper.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 7:41, archived)
afternoon

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 13:25, archived)
Luverly.
How hangeth it?
(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 13:31, archived)
alright

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 14:26, archived)
Ow do

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 14:30, archived)
Hi hun

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 14:33, archived)
aight

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 15:03, archived)
it is indeed
snooker final is on
(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 15:09, archived)
Benny Harvey RIP

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 15:42, archived)
Gone but not forgotten

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 17:10, archived)
REST IN PEACE, BIG MAN

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 17:18, archived)
did he run himself over again?

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 17:43, archived)
Been in the pub since lunchtime.
Some twat keeps trying to sell me raffle tickets. First prize is an Easter egg from Aldi. It's shaped like a hot air balloon. What the fuck that has to do with chocolate zombie jew day, I don't know.
Mrs stuj bought a ticket a couple of hours ago and has told the bloke to fuck right off every time he's come back since. tbh I feel a bit sorry for the cunt, I think he might be a bit special needs.
(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 19:15, archived)
Lick the tickets
Then tell him they belong to you now
(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 19:33, archived)
Totally stealing "chocolate zombie Jew day".

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 19:37, archived)
Turtle power

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 19:46, archived)
Ha!
Excellent.
(, Mon 26 Mar 2018, 0:07, archived)
H'i

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 20:57, archived)
No, just a bit tipsy

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 21:07, archived)
Spent an hour of my Saturday morning, walking the perimeter of a quarry, in search of a runaway dog.
Cost me valuable model painting time, that did.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 21:32, archived)
Filthy liar.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 21:45, archived)
Doris Duke - I'm a Loser might be Swamp Dogg's best work.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 23:04, archived)
^ forgot about dredge

(, Sun 25 Mar 2018, 8:01, archived)
Gracefully glancing this, the dead man’s switch that is the ‘post this message’ button..
...to let you all know that I’m not dead.

JMG.

Sent from my iPhone.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 15:07, archived)
Alright JMG.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 15:29, archived)
Alright.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 16:22, archived)
nor am i
yet
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 15:31, archived)
Firm handshakes all round.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 16:23, archived)
jammin'

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 16:25, archived)
oh thank goodness
they'd probably have had to shut the site down if you were
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 16:55, archived)
Up the addicks

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 17:16, archived)
bald dole mum etc

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 17:30, archived)
Fuck Cambridge and fuck you.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 17:42, archived)
Those cheeky Tabs, eh?

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 17:48, archived)
Gunt

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 18:42, archived)
Oh
shame
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 19:09, archived)
Wotcher! Or should that be 'Watcher!'? Lel.
Weekend plans?
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 9:38, archived)
I've got to take my son to a party at 1, probably pop for a pint after , I've no idea what my daughter is up to or when she's coming to see her poor old dad, teenagers eh

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 9:53, archived)
They're a mystery to me.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)
I'll be minding my own business, m8

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 10:03, archived)
Ooh, handbags!

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 10:21, archived)
Might give the meat a good old rub

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 10:06, archived)
Dry or wet rub?

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 10:15, archived)
Mmm, salty

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 10:53, archived)
got to put a curtain pole up
Dunno what that's a euphemism for.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 10:41, archived)
+ beef

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 10:53, archived)
nice one, now you've summoned him

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 11:18, archived)
If you say his name 3 times into a mirror
he'll appear and talk about trainers.

Then kill you with a flensing hook.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 11:36, archived)

ns bb
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 12:51, archived)
Beeflejuice

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 12:51, archived)
+my bum

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 14:20, archived)
lol

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 14:43, archived)
Got up early, made bread and went shopping for booze
Wife and kid are making lunch, might do museum later, then fuck knows
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 11:01, archived)

Gotta get up
gotta get out
grab the world
by the throat and shout

Gotta find it
get us a share
makin' bread out
of nothin' but air

Ridin' high but
hittin' the ground
catchin' the Penny
but missin' the pound

Doesn't matter 'cause
we'll soon turn it around
soon as we get home
it's why we're tryin', home
instead of cryin', home
we keep it in the family

We'll be right at home
we make it and
we take it home
nothin's gonna break it, home
we keep it in the family

Knockin' on doors
or makin' a plan
I'll give you a tenner
for your old tin can

Buy it, sell it
the game's gettin' hard
'cause someone's
dealin' you a losin' card

Gotta find it
get us a share
gotta make bread
out of nothin' but air

Doesn't matter
'cause we've got
someone who cares

Soon as we get home
it's why we're tryin', home
instead of cryin', home
we keep it in the family

We'll be right at home
we make it and
we take it home
nothin's gonna break it, home
we keep it in the family

Even though you
sometimes feel like leavin'
just pack up the dreams
and give up the fight

Someone comes along
just as you're leavin'
showin' you they care
and makin' it right

Soon as we get home
it's why we're tryin', home
instead of cryin', home
we keep it in the family

We'll be right at home
we make it and
we take it home
nothin's gonna break it, home
we keep it in the family

We'll be right at home
it's why we're tryin', home
instead of cryin', home
we keep it in the family
we'll be right at home


(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
salutations

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 11:42, archived)
She is a tart

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 11:46, archived)
i plan to get asked what my weekend plans are

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 12:36, archived)
Not long woke up.
Going to have a couple of pints to shift my hangover, then go to the spice shop to get some bits in.

Later I might go the pictures and see that Nile Hilton Incident.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 12:52, archived)
The what now? I'm not familiar with that one.
Not one cinema within fifty miles of me is showing 'Ghostland', and I am gutted.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 12:56, archived)
It's an Egyptian thriller.
https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_nile_hilton_incident
They've got an Ingmar Bergman on tomorrow and all.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:02, archived)
Ooh yes, that one came out over here a little while ago but disappeared from the radar pretty quickly.
Looks decent though.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:05, archived)
Where's 'here'?

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:12, archived)
France innit.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:27, archived)
Seen.
I enjoyed the last series of Engrenages.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:35, archived)
Housework, job search, knitting and possibly drinking

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:03, archived)
Solid weekending in perspective here.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:27, archived)
I watched Bill Forsyth's housekeeping the other week. It were great.

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 14:11, archived)
I'd watch anyone doing housework
As long as I don't have to do it.
(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)
Tits

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:30, archived)
Titty

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:35, archived)
Titties

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 13:51, archived)
I'll also finish my baselworld round up I suppose, seems to go well

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 14:38, archived)
This is going to be a fluid post bet do join in and have your views
Baselworld 2018

Let's start in not Switzerland at all
hodinkee.imgix.net/uploads/images/1521131291757-cftz2zytc5o-7162c2ec6879e06adfd49cae0fb2767c/Blue_Ceramic_GMT_4.jpg

Ceramic blue bezel, standard
But the blue center links are ceramic blue too? Oh yeah
It's metal is full titanium, what even the blue on the case you say? Oh yes, they infused or oxidised the titanium to be that blue

I'm giving it 7.7 fingers, because of my finger
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 21:58, archived)
I really like that blue GS.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:00, archived)
The GS on the dial are wonderful design

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:01, archived)
Yeah, gorgeous

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:04, archived)
^loves GS

(, Sat 24 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
heavy though?
i'm still looking for a viable replacement for my citizen titanium eco-drive
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:10, archived)
No titanium weights fuck all, ceramic even less

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:17, archived)
yup, titanium is great
i was thinking more of the weight of the kinetic movement, which always seemed to add a lot of bulk to the seikos. i'd love it if was about as skinny as the eco-drive.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 23:10, archived)
So let's go french next, after the massive success of the in house movement last year, where mext
Well Chanel gave us this re take on a classic
www.chanel.com/wfj/product/medias/boy-friend-skeleton-watch/H5254-default-0-1540-grey-nocrop-1519279463607.jpg

What can I say about Coco, she knew fashion and design. A classic shaped watch from a non watch design house. The skeleton of the dial is sublime, the movement reliable, and this brown gold tinge something I've never seen.

7.9
Fingers iñnit
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:14, archived)
Interesting. Not for me

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:30, archived)
Looks pretty nice.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:22, archived)
Grand Seiko's are all a baby of one watchsmith, they do all the building of a movement

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:33, archived)
I can't keep this all upbeat, so what have we seen here?
www.omegawatches.com/media/gene-cms/s/p/sp_dsotm_apollo8_31192443001001_ambiance_small_13.jpg

Apollo 8 orbited the moon, they wore omega watches, allegedly. I don't like the cut out moon design or the ceramic.the movement is outstanding and the chronograph great.i find the yellow makes the dial too busy.

4.2 member digits
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:45, archived)
See, I like that a lot

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:48, archived)
Too busy, like the yellow though

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 23:03, archived)
Got any understated numbers

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 22:46, archived)
where I got the picture says it all, why wouldn't you want to buy it , a classical watch from a high end watch makee
hodinkee.imgix.net/uploads/images/1521737402937-268b80wtph3-d17400eea16ffb3c5a85b131137ee75d/B89A0247_copy.jpg
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 23:02, archived)
Eat my spam, you muthas!
www.b3ta.com/links/Another_reworking_of_a_killer_rap_tune
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:01, archived)
what's the vegetarian option?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:12, archived)
cigarettes, hopefully

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:16, archived)
with a dash of coffee and side order of anal sex
hopefully
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:17, archived)
#noir

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:17, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2LQdh42neg
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 17:19, archived)
That's reet nice, that.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 20:19, archived)
Crayons

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 17:16, archived)
not clicking that, might be a /links

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:19, archived)
i'd rather not
i don't know where it's been
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:20, archived)
you beaky fucking beaker cunt

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:20, archived)
He's nearly as bad as me

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:28, archived)
you just had to make another thread all about you again, didn't you

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:37, archived)
It's my mo innit

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:39, archived)
so you keep telling us, you self-obsessed fruitcake

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:49, archived)
If I don't insist upon my self I wither

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 17:43, archived)
Existential uncertainty is a bugger

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 20:57, archived)
lol, "mo"

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 17:07, archived)
And it was because of this post, that monster munch lost his job as "Stevie J", producer of posthumous hippetty hop album "Life After Death"

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 18:26, archived)
i dunno, we'd have to ask brb

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 18:39, archived)
One day he'll get his revenge on me

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 19:01, archived)
I are ver maximum creative!

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 17:01, archived)
beaky fucking beaker cuntles

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 17:53, archived)
Not listening to that: it might be rap.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 17:18, archived)
pub time then

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:43, archived)
+e lol

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:47, archived)
lol

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:48, archived)
epub!
What other document formats are lol?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:49, archived)
I pronounces it 'gif'

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:50, archived)
yeah but do you put the cream or jam on first?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:52, archived)
yes he does

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
Cornish friend of ours has refused to remove her #jamfirst badge whilst working for the National Trust.
It's serious business.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:56, archived)
this story fell apart when it got to the bit about you having a friend

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:00, archived)
Not actually my friend, more the child of someone I met once,
but there's no word for that, and I didn't want to make a dull anecdote any duller by adding unnecessary exposition.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
phew, well you dodged a bullet there

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:06, archived)
Yeah, could have been really nasty.
manolith needs to be more careful, or I'll be pouring word after word onto this board, and I don't think anybody wants that.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:10, archived)
As much as I like visiting the National Trusts places
the people that run them are fucking cunts. Frankly.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:04, archived)
How do you feel about English Heritage employees?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:07, archived)
I've not visited any of their sites, as far as I'm aware
but they're probably wankers of some kind
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:08, archived)
my mum used to work for them

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:09, archived)
and how much of a wanker is she?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:12, archived)
you know what they say about apples and trees, mat8

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:21, archived)
Too many apples spoil the trees?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:21, archived)
an apple a day keeps the doctor a tree

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:26, archived)
An apple in time saves trees

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:33, archived)
an apple in the hand is worth 2 in the doctor

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:38, archived)


(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 18:36, archived)
Disraeli Gears then All Mod Cons
lol
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
hahaha

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:39, archived)
I was actually getting worried that no one would get this
cheers Boyce
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:43, archived)
lol

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:51, archived)
oh, that'll teach me to refresh before posting

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:51, archived)
RIP all high street chain restaurants

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:48, archived)
what have those pesky millennials killed off this time?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:49, archived)
woah, this sounds like a hot scoop
What's the word on the street, dollars?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:49, archived)
Probably got himself banned from Wimpy.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
prezzo is no more

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:55, archived)
no strictly true
it will only have a few remaining
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:56, archived)
oh
never mind
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:05, archived)
I miss pubs

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:49, archived)
all the good ones have closed down anyway

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
bit special, m8e

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
*skanks*

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:55, archived)
+e
congratulations, mat8!
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:51, archived)
mods delete this repeat post pls

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:52, archived)
soz diamond level members' posts can't be deleted

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:53, archived)
lol members

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:54, archived)
mine shines like a diamond

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:01, archived)
because you keep rubbing it

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:03, archived)
I think so, I'm down to one snout so I've got to go out anyway

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:56, archived)
is it giro day?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:00, archived)
No I'm afraid not

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:02, archived)
have we got some cakes at least?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:17, archived)

giro White boy
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:06, archived)
I think I've still got half a pack in my tin, be dry as fuck by now though

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:09, archived)
i wish

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:01, archived)
god I wish I'd put Mr Tea on ignore

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 16:04, archived)
5/7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-43505066
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:53, archived)
Scrambled egg on toast I reckon.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
Dont start

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
i'm torn between cheap tomato soup and slightly less cheap tomato soup with a dash of femme fresh

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:18, archived)
I'm 'heinz or don't bother' with tomato soup.
Also chuck a bag of ready salted in there.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:33, archived)
fuck

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
I couldn't do it

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
Kiera Knightley's tits 3/7

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:56, archived)
Not bad.
What's wrong with cup and cone bearings? You car blokes. Honestly.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:59, archived)
Cup I understand, but cones?
Is Keira doing a Madonna biopic?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:05, archived)
just no experience with 'em, that's all
I can imagine ball bearings pinging off all over the place
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:06, archived)
Put down a sheet and have a magnetic tool/screwdriver at the ready.
If you're really on the ball use a magnetic bowl.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:17, archived)
Proper thick grease sticks them all in to place as long as you're not a shaky handed spasmo

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:34, archived)
it's the "as long as" bit that bothers me
I'm clumsier than a spina bifida victim undergoing electro-shock treatments during an earthquake. On ice.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:36, archived)
Maybe bearings aren't for you.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:41, archived)
yeah but you should see the state of this bike
it's like it was dipped in treacle and then ridden across some sand dunes
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:29, archived)
I've got a proper thick grease stick IYKWIM

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:55, archived)
Shame I had to drive down to Basildon just as Seagal chat was about to get going.
4/7, I expect.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:57, archived)

just as Seagal chat was about to get going.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:00, archived)
You said it, Windy.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:02, archived)
he was ok until he turned into a doughy, ponytailed tosspot

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:06, archived)
He was alaays a tosspot,
but now he's too fat to do any decent action scenes, he's a double tosspot.

I think it was Into The Sun where all the action was handled by his body double, it's hilariously awful.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:21, archived)
i love bad films, but i can't bear to watch him any more

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:22, archived)
Me neither.
I did sit through some film where that wife beater from Eastenders was an evil henchman, but it was totally shit.

Also, Against The Dark, where he stands around and does nothing. Epic stuff
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:27, archived)
if you want something with epic levels of weird, watch body melt
fucked up aussie horror
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:40, archived)
Street Trash

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:44, archived)
watched that after a couple of mitsubishis
never again
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:59, archived)
Had that on VHS.
Harold Bishop was the villain!
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:47, archived)
I've got The China Syndrome downloaded for a rainy day as well.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:03, archived)
ok way to spend a couple of hours
not great, not terrible
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:33, archived)
Unless you meant me, in which case that's very hurtful.
Albeit accurate.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:22, archived)
you were always a tosspot,
but now you're too fat to do any decent action scenes, you're a double tosspot.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:24, archived)
i don't know you well enough to comment on your tosspottery levels

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:25, archived)
That's never stopped anybody else.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:32, archived)
^tosspot

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:42, archived)
^tosspot

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:44, archived)
if i call someone a tosspot, i like to have definitive proof

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:00, archived)
Proof
jelly.b3ta.com/users/searchposts.php?id=2663&board=talk
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:02, archived)
compelling

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:14, archived)
reeking smegma 2/7

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:01, archived)
I lived in a house share with a girl called Meg for a bit.
She was a house whale, Wiccan pagan witch type. Used to do weird dance ritual in the garden and got upset if I didn't remember obscure pagan festivals.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:44, archived)


(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:50, archived)
Was it you?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:52, archived)
you know it was
rude
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:58, archived)
unlucky

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:55, archived)
good point

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:59, archived)
shut up, meg

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:01, archived)
"Shit on a dog's tits" Your score: 4/7

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:04, archived)
Tangle isn't a wangle

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:44, archived)
Just the 2

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:06, archived)
Anything else good from Baselworld

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:44, archived)
I've not really looked today , doesn't look like I'll be getting either of the one's I wanted yet again, I'm fairly disillusioned with what's going on at the moment, I've put my name on 2 waiting lists , still waiting on 3 from 2 years ago tho :(

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:49, archived)
"Spit on your dad's cock" 2/7
and one of them was a guess.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:17, archived)
Don't.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:45, archived)
don't what?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 15:02, archived)
I hate to be common but
4
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:19, archived)
^ wants to quiz like common people

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:36, archived)
4/7
can't believe i got the rhino one wrong
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 14:05, archived)
f0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0d
soon it will be lunch. maybe you are already having lunch. maybe you have already had lunch. maybe you are reading this long after lunch. i'm going to have some soup or maybe a bowl of cereal for lunch. what are you fine people going to do for lunch? or what did you have for lunch? what do you think alternative dimension you had/is having/will have for lunch?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:40, archived)
As flat as a pancake 3/7

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
fucking fucking FUCKING hell

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:54, archived)
Are you sure you want to ignore brb?
Yes Cancel
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:59, archived)
:(

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:12, archived)
Well I had what's left of last night's mushroom risotto

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:20, archived)
you're brave

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:21, archived)
or stupid
Yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo can decide
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 13:39, archived)
Yes! It's teh Flebel MC, ruff like a ninja, sting like a bee
How's it going, smeghead's?

Might do a spot of gardening on the weekend. Haha, not the uphill kind, you japester!!!

What might you do a spot of on the weekend? You can say shoe.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:39, archived)
all the parts are here for me to rebuild my bike
might vlog it and make a mint off google ads served to lycra-clad bumboys
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:46, archived)
I'll read it

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:48, archived)
vlog m8
adenoidal voiceovers and lots of shakeycam filmed with a potato mobile phone. It's where the real money is.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:53, archived)
Have you considered "d.tube"?
It's not as gay as it sounds. Pays out in STEEM crypto on views instead of ads. It's the future!
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:48, archived)
wtf is steem crypto?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
It's one of them bytecoyn thingies. Worth a bob or two.
Get in!
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:56, archived)
sounds like another pyramid scheme like all the other cryptos
I've only got BTC, Litecoin and Ripple these days
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:57, archived)
Roll on June I say.
Same as me, but ETH instead of Ripple. Got my eye on a new one too - currently only TWO PENCE. Worth grabbing a bunch of those puppies eh!?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:59, archived)
Electroneum?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:06, archived)
ETH? cashed out at $1300, it's barely 500 now
What happens in June?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)
Terry climaxes

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:34, archived)
lol

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
disgusting

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
Great Scott!

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:41, archived)
I don't like this edgy new Really Wild Show direction

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:39, archived)
^ nut-kin

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:44, archived)
Chocolate orange a bit too big to insert?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:41, archived)
One of my mates is practically religious about about bitcoin.
I keep pointing out it's fucking useless given the transaction time and fees and then he just prattles on about 'stored value' and it's not a flaw in the currency.

If you can't easily trade it for goods and services I'd say it is a flaw m8. He's just a greedy fucker out to make some cash though. It's against the spirit of the thing I reckon, it should be used for buying drugs and hitmen.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:22, archived)
Titgroin MORE LIKE

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:26, archived)
I wonder if you can buy drugs and hitmen with Bitcoiin2Gen?
Steven Seagal has always taken a dim view of such things in his films, so maybe he'd come round to aikido you into submission if you tried anything like that.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:29, archived)
I taped Above The Law the other night, mainly because it said it had Pam Grier in it.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:38, archived)

Pam Richard
ri
+'s hamster-stuffed anus
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:40, archived)
#infest

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:49, archived)
Anything up to (and including) On Deadly Ground is great.
Everything after is just awful.
Half Past Dead maybe gets a pass.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:55, archived)
Have you seen Class of 1999?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:10, archived)
Isn't hpd where he starts shooting all the fight scenes from the shoulders up?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:44, archived)
yer, it's more of a symbolic indicator of the state of the crypto market than an intrinsic value of itself
which isn't really any different from a fuckload of other commodities.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
I'm sorry, I just nodded off there, what were you saying?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:50, archived)
don't bother yourself over it, go look at a shoe catalog or something

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:53, archived)
I only deal in reem crypto

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:54, archived)
I bought D:REAM crypto
the prices aren't that great now...
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:55, archived)
Might put the innertubes on mine today.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:53, archived)
got to admit, all this cup and cone bollocks has unnerved me
I'm used to sealed bearings fitted with a press, not this grease-your-balls bullshit.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:56, archived)
I was going to do the bearings when I replaced the freewheel on mine, but after taking off what I thought were the cones there was a sealed bearing behind it.
It was a relief really.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:03, archived)
this bike is a supermarket special, so I don't expect anything like that
Changing the front hub from fixed to quick release though.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:22, archived)
Are you rebuilding the wheel?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:21, archived)
nah, hub stays on
it's just a trial to see if it's feasible, but I bought the shaft (lol) that matches the hub siza and brand.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:28, archived)
Or get 9mm reducer caps

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:37, archived)
hmmm, didn't know there was a diameter difference
good thing I only spent a fiver.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:49, archived)
Ha, stupid cunt

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:35, archived)
FAG 4 LYF

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:50, archived)
Hey! 'member 2007?!

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:47, archived)
alright Demolition Man, how've you been?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:52, archived)
Just finished another bout in the freezer m8.
What's this about a fucking Nazi Pug?! This fucking world I tell you.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:55, archived)
you couldn't make it up m8

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:14, archived)
I'm going to finish off the album ready for a shiny summer release.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:49, archived)
I assume you mean "finish reading the 2018 Beano, then have a wank to celebrate"?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:53, archived)
they're looking for a new guitarist you know
bit surprised he hasn't asked you
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
he couldn't afford me

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:04, archived)
Your chewits habbit would blask through the record company's advance in a week
£85 doesn't go far these days.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:33, archived)
my haribo cherry habit is becoming a serious problem

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:37, archived)
gs

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:40, archived)
will you get writing credits?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:53, archived)
Yes
And a record deal and a tour and millions of pounds
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:29, archived)
wow, nice one!

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:32, archived)

the album a big smelly poo
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:56, archived)

the album ready for
s b
release
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:56, archived)
probably just take loads of selfies for my instagram or summat

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:51, archived)
standard

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:53, archived)
penus and bumhole in one pic pls

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:54, archived)
woop woop day off loosers

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:54, archived)
you've been missed

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:58, archived)
got videodrome on bluray for later.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:04, archived)
phwoar debbie harry etc

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:11, archived)
That was an alarming
film. I prefer his lager if I'm honest.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:59, archived)
wanker

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:16, archived)
^jelly

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:19, archived)
totes

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:25, archived)
Quiet one for me, just a henry of shoe and a brace of crackwhores

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:02, archived)
nice and low key, good thinking

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:16, archived)
No plans as yet
But the antibiotics mean my leg shouldn't stop me going out if I want to.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:17, archived)
I am visiting relatives and roasting meat
not at the same time
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:20, archived)
might give this a crack
smittenkitchen.com/2010/07/sweet-and-smoky-oven-spareribs/
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:27, archived)
nice
TH's top tip: I give them a dry rub, but then slow cook them in a mixture of cola, ketchup and paprika. Cooked for as long as possible on a low heat (3 or 4 hours should do) then finish them on the bbq. #OffTheHook
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:38, archived)
#fooOood

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
PUT IT THERE BROTHER

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:49, archived)
Flavour-on-the-wold

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:52, archived)
Dry rub
Lol.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:16, archived)
lol

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:21, archived)
Fuck it, we've used gob in the past.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:27, archived)
Prolly have a few vurgers.
Yeah that's right. Vurgers.

www.thevurgerco.com/

Perhaps yours will catch on?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:26, archived)
what a bunch of fucking cunts

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:28, archived)
I'm not convinced about the delicious bit

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:29, archived)
the whole thing is extremely poor

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:32, archived)
what's the v ... oh
see you there!
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:36, archived)
Haha, I reckon you'd enjoy a spot of weeding!
Haha, do you get it? Because weeds are something thatcan grow in the garden, but also weed is drug slang! Haha haha, and I know how you loves yourself some of them drugs!
Hahahaha, I'm having a right laugh, here, aren't I?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:26, archived)
shut up, wanker

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:28, archived)
Oh, I see. Like that is it?
Don't know why I bother.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:30, archived)
no, I don't think any of us can work that out

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:37, archived)
just saying a quick hello to all my popular page negroes here

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:38, archived)
Fucking hell...

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:43, archived)
Bit racially insensitive m6 trunk road.
I happen to be of the Caucasian persuasion.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:47, archived)
Are you....are you ok m8?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:39, archived)
Aside from Richard's relentless bullying, you mean?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:57, archived)
yeah

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:21, archived)
I will spend the weekend
huddled in a ball dreading Monday.

I may also go for an exciting walk.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:49, archived)
sounds fun, nice one!

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:51, archived)
Just the non stop
high octane hard partying kind of lifestyle I strive to maintain.

I might even have a pint of beer...
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:14, archived)
How is a walk exciting?
Will you be doing it blindfolded?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:37, archived)
When he got home he found that his mum had left a cup of tea on the doorstep

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:43, archived)
He'll set of a party popper at the end
and have a wurther's original before heading back
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:43, archived)
I'm not allowed Werthers Originals any more.
They make me giddy.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 12:45, archived)
Dunno, I assume I've got my kids for the weekend, but who knows with that pair

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 11:59, archived)
official morning thread

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 6:58, archived)
I preferred the other one.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 7:28, archived)
that was yesterday
it's time to move on
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 7:31, archived)
Ok. Bye

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 7:38, archived)
don't let the googly-eyed fern hit you on the way out

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 7:46, archived)
+ cotton

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:28, archived)
alright Windy

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:26, archived)

in +oo

alright Rich
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:28, archived)
yo

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:35, archived)
Yes.
Pretty much on my own again here today. Got the apprentices in, so that's alright.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:14, archived)
so what did happen to your other two blokes?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:32, archived)
hullo

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:26, archived)
Friday innit

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:29, archived)
very pleased about this

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:30, archived)
The inlaws have invited themselves over and my place stinks of piss and vom

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:34, archived)
I really ought to buy a different brand of pot pourri

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:41, archived)
I appreciate the intent,
but it's not a good way to go about things. It's kind of confrontational and it makes everyone start being nasty to one another.

And the Marzipan thing. What was that all about?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:26, archived)
I've got nothing against marzipan

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:30, archived)
Alright, Strong Bad

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
nice try, he does have something against marzipan though

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:11, archived)
I thought he liked marzipan?
Haven't watched it in a while, though.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:15, archived)
bit wordy for the official version

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:42, archived)
patent trolls making it harder for the honest worker m8

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:48, archived)
Bootleg response.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:43, archived)
arrrrrr m8ey
(pegleg response)
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:48, archived)
hi

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:50, archived)
looking sharp, TH

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:53, archived)
oh, this old thing?
*pinches penus*
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
cool shit

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:54, archived)
hot shit m8
positively steaming
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:59, archived)
i dunno, doesn't look that official
i reckon you might be a knock-off nigel
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 8:59, archived)
who told you about my mechanical pencil?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:00, archived)
strikey-g

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
^ making plans

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:01, archived)
Morning
where shall I go on holiday? City break, 3 or 4 nights. Fancy Riga or Krakow, maybe Toledo...
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:06, archived)
My long weekend hitlist:
Rome
Istanbul
Lisbon
Granada
Bruges
Your nan's minge
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:07, archived)
Would need to be a very long weekend to fit them all in.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:17, archived)
two days for the last one alone

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:27, archived)
And a pith helmet.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:31, archived)

I love Rome, Istanbul's great but I don't fancy going back. Yes, love Lisbon but I tell you what - Granada looks amazing, and I'd love to do Bruges. I just really want a cheap weekend city break deal and I'm in.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:23, archived)
Bologna is amazing, ever been there?

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:39, archived)
Krakow's alright but you need to plan your day trips in advance
Usually Auswitz and the Wieliczka Salt Mine. You can also pop to Zakopane for a night if you want to take in the mountains.

Although if this long weekend includes bank holidays, absolutely everything will be shut.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:08, archived)
Haven't got any further than a tentative agreement to take my lot to Spain for their first foreign holiday.
Could someone plan and book it all for me, please?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:20, archived)
Just go to Butlins in Minehead, they'll never know the difference

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:24, archived)
They're not quite as dim as me, gari.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:33, archived)
I went to Spain. My dad stepped on a sea urchin and I saw a dead body. 1/5 do not recommend

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:24, archived)
I didn't know urchins were deadly poisonous.
My wife had been avoiding Centre Parcs, on account of her only prior trip there being marred by her father having a massive heart attack.
Having now been I think I'll be avoiding it on account of it being massively overpriced.
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:39, archived)

her father having a massive heart attack mandatory anal.
/mumsnet
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:44, archived)
lol

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:46, archived)
my fucken sweaty gooch

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:23, archived)
or Berlin

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:24, archived)
+ violet
Lads, eh
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:29, archived)
^wants Gaz Top's sloppy seconds

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:36, archived)
hemsby, norfolk

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:25, archived)
Coventry

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:30, archived)
ignore 2.0

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:31, archived)
Nowehere near as many witches as the name suggests 1/5 not recommended

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:36, archived)
terrible bullying of Cofa and his tree

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:42, archived)
Salem has a statue of Elizabeth Montgomery.
How's that for witch themed tourism?
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:46, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8078313
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:50, archived)
Barbara Eden seemed positively slutty, by comparison.

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:56, archived)

ici

^up to the guts
(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 9:55, archived)
make a soup out of it brah

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:05, archived)
Morning

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:09, archived)
alright SM II

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:18, archived)
official bottom of the morning thread

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:35, archived)
official bottom ruiner

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:37, archived)
rip my bottom :'(

(, Fri 23 Mar 2018, 10:42, archived)

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