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This is a question Corruption

I once had to grease a custom official's palm to get out of a foreign country, a wad of bank notes worth about 45p which went straight into his pocket. In fact, everybody on our flight had to, the thieving scrote. Talk to us about corrupt officials, or confess your own wrongdoing. We won't tell anyone.

Thanks to Ye of Little Faith for the suggestion

(, Thu 3 Jul 2014, 13:44)
Pages: Popular, 3, 2, 1

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Pointless "Fairholme" post.
There's this website, right? And this website has a thread that is solely dedicated to people going there to tell their stories, based upon a (supposedly arbitrary) topic each week.
About 4 years ago a bunch of people from another thread on the website decided to spawn camp (google it you lazy cunts) in this thread. They bullied all of the regular posters - calling them liars, making out that the original posters were nonces and making up shitty, pointless memes that even 9gag would probably ignore.
They turned the the thread from an active story-telling thread into a small-minded bullying shit fight. With one-shot "hahahahaha" memes. That got played out ad-nauseum to the point of obsolescence.

The pointless shit-flinging bullies made sure that they tried to be made moderators of the the thread or that they knew the mods on a first name basis so that they could whinge and moan to the mods in order to get whichever users they didn't like b&. So at least that's the part of this post that fits in with answering the question. Right?

End of the day? What was once a fairly interesting website has turned into a thread dominated by a group of small-dicked, weak-minded, prissy, wannabe bullies.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 9:59, closed)
They're probably the ones who got picked on at school. But they're pretty good one-hand typists, though.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:07, closed)
Oh, hi there, umm, gosh this is a bit...errr, I *do* know your name, honestly.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:09, closed)
Ahhhh... the reassuring sound of the over-privileged.
Popped down for a quick slum-wank, have you?
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:56, closed)
this'd be less hilarious if your answer this week wasn't some hooray gep yah story about a houseboat in kashmir

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 13:43, closed)
I'd say good guess, but it wasn't even that.
I've never had a gap year. I did have a budget trip several decades ago, though - but it wasn't financed by fawning parents preparing me for the rigours of a cushy life. Keep trying.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 15:44, closed)
lol chippy povvo

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 16:45, closed)
excuse me while I wrap the coal sacks around the sleeping infants
- they need a nap before their next shift at the Savilodge. The things we're forced to do for a crust...
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 17:09, closed)
Haha
Jesus, I didn't realise how many wankers there were here
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:48, closed)
amazing, innit?
this is easily the thinnest skinned bunch of tragic dweebs on the internet ... where the fuck did they come from and how did they end up weeping on qftw?
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:21, closed)
All right, calm down 'Cotton Eye Joe'

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 13:28, closed)
^You utter bastard.
Of all the songs to get stuck in my head :(
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 14:14, closed)
I am genuinely sorry

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:02, closed)
WHAT A BAMPERSAND

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:04, closed)
^ upset

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:07, closed)
*QI klaxon*

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:09, closed)
Dr Skraga
*Warning level*
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:14, closed)
It is not a Klaxon - retard.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:22, closed)
Egg on my face, and no mistake!

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:26, closed)
It's like people when they say Tannoy when they mean public address system.
Tannoy is a brand name. Why're you all staring at me? I'm not have a go at anyone. I'm having a pop at the undead.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:31, closed)
Check out my new Dyson hoover

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:34, closed)
Alright, Saltwater Crock'o'shite.
No-one's forcing you to stay. There are plenty of places on the internet more receptive to your own brand of incoherent conspiracy ablooblooblooing than this website.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:19, closed)
I take it that you're one of the dog fingering mods
that's regularly b& peeps like me?
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:22, closed)
Do you seriously think you'd still have an account if I were a mod?

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:25, closed)
No you would break his rocker fingers in your suave cigarette case.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:26, closed)
Oh
lulz
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:41, closed)
Damn straight.
The fingers would be amputated at the knuckle, filling my cigarette case with four ready-rolled potato-pube blunts. The next time I was sitting in my Accord parked on the top of the hill and looking out over Hollywood, I'd spark one up (their high fat content making them easy to light, if a little smoky) and say "This one's for you, Fuckgnome."
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:41, closed)

I like this.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:43, closed)
Hiya Hiya Hiya coooooeeeeeee
Hiya Hiya *waves* *waves* - look at me - Hiya
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:25, closed)
Have you considered becoming a /board person?
These days, it's pretty much a mutual support group for easily-upset, delicate little flowers. You'd fit in.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:27, closed)
Christ are we still doing the "b3ta's been ruined by bullies" thing?
Shouldn't the message be replaced with "grow a pair; it's only the internet" by now?
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:29, closed)
I think you need to seek professional help for your masochism and low self-esteem

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:32, closed)
^

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:37, closed)
Your so upset, I would recommend contacting the samaritans.
Although I do suspect that they'd become so fucking fed up with your incessant whining, after a few minutes they'd be giving you advice to make sure that you can take your own life more effectively.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:38, closed)
*you're*

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:45, closed)
*ur

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:46, closed)
No other arguments though.
Prick.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:09, closed)
What makes you think
there is any point in arguing with you?

You are an utter cretin. It's like arguing with a pigeon.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:25, closed)
You appear to be taking the standpoint of a spastics advocate for the sake of it.
I don't think we've ever actually had a cross word, but because I think Fairholme is a cunt much like the people who you have expressed dislike for, you've automatically turned against me. This is interesting to me, I now assume that you have a crush on Fairholme.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:15, closed)
a lot of the weepy boohoos seem to gather around him when he appears
it's a bit odd

And SEXY.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 17:15, closed)
GAY 4 RINGO

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 17:55, closed)
*you're* a spastic

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:13, closed)
Where?

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 18:59, closed)
Haha brilliant
Look, if the big boys are upsetting you, then go back to your Facebook friends so they can "u ok hun?" you back into consciousness.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 10:46, closed)
WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH /TALK ARE MEAN!!!!!!!! Again? Really?
MTFU you passive-aggressive, small-dicked, weak-minded, prissy, wannabe bully.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:03, closed)


(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:05, closed)
Gah!
What the actual fuck?
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 15:58, closed)
^

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 20:27, closed)
yeah right you're thinking 'how have I never seen those two geek babes in the modelling community before? '

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 21:39, closed)
Shut up, nonce.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:11, closed)
I think you're wrong
To call them bullies somehow implies that people have been intimidated by them.

What actually happened is most of the regular contributors got bored of their repetitive trolling, and drifted off.

They are armed only with the power of lame.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:23, closed)
the power of converting to mp3?

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:26, closed)
The prosecution rests.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:29, closed)
YM rested on my prosecution last night

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:32, closed)
Heard it was his dad not his mum.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 15:31, closed)
Yeah, it was a real shame they all drifted away.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:55, closed)
Maybe they all ran out of stories.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:07, closed)
I prefer my version.
Want some stats?

QOTW started 11 years ago.

The first 10 QOTW's - average number of stories, 423.

Random 10 week period 5 years ago, average number of stories, 491.

Last 10 QOTWs, average number of stories, 106.

Anyone who hasn't posted a genuine answer to a QOTW in the last month has no valid opinion, so can fuck off. That includes stupid puns.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:28, closed)
hahahaha, oh dear.
Oh well, I posted a genuine answer a week or two back, even got on the populol page, so I guess I am entitled to an opinion on this important issue.

I'll let you know if I can be bothered to come up with one.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:36, closed)
Good stuff.
Look forward to that.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:39, closed)
The important thing is that I have a right to hold a valid opinion.
You've given me that, and you can never take it away from me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:43, closed)
pipe down, you whimpering prickhole

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:40, closed)
This all sounds very important.
Thanks for your valuable research.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:50, closed)
I think it proves that people move on. 11 years is a long time and what with that social networking.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 13:05, closed)
It doesn't 'prove' anything
it is simply data from which you may choose to draw conclusions.

Your theory is good though, and is likely to account for some of the change.

It is also quite evident that when a poster is deciding whether to post here or on Facebook, the volume of shit static on here probably has an influence as well.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 14:35, closed)
I think that can only be a good thing.
There's enough sensitive little flowers as it is.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 14:47, closed)
You do know what facebook is? Volume of shit static. Oh dear.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 14:50, closed)
Depends.
I don't use Facebook much, just have family on it.

If you're one of these people who accumulate 475 'friends', then I suppose you probably do have a lot of irrelevant crap to wade though.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 15:32, closed)
tragic
I do not facetard at all.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 18:25, closed)
Yeah, but I bet you've got "friends" in real life, you sad sack.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 18:28, closed)
god, and how I wish I did not - come to Colombia, come to Mexico, come to the The Chechen Republic.
"Of course it will be different to last time." -pfft
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 18:37, closed)
Can you explain Off Topic, please?

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 13:43, closed)
not even this autistic prattler can explain that

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 13:45, closed)
That's just
frogs and snails and puppy dogs tails.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 14:30, closed)
Didn't the average number of 'stories' go down round about the time they introduced the reply button?

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 13:45, closed)
So, you're basically invalidating your own post here?

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 15:05, closed)
Just out of interest, have YOU posted a genuine answer to a QOTW in the last month, or for that matter, ever?
Just asking.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 16:10, closed)
Yes, I try to post
at least one every week.

They're not always very good, but at least I do it.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 17:18, closed)
it's good that you keep your ambitions within your thalidomide reach

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 18:38, closed)
Yeah, I meant an ACTUAL answer to THAT week's question, rather than either "Waaaahhh!!! /TALK ARE MEEEAAN!!!" or White Knighting spastics in replies though.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 0:23, closed)
meeeee likey

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 8:36, closed)
Yes, actual answers.
I know you take no notice whatsoever of anything that anyone else posts, but some of us do post actual stories.

I know it's not as interesting as the shit-flinging you limit yourself to, but you know, we can't all be you.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 8:59, closed)
^ WAAAAHHHH!!!! STUJ IS MEAN!!!! post

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 14:27, closed)
No, you're wrong.
You're not being mean. Despite trying for the best part of 10 years to be the bad boy, all you do is come across as an immature dick. You offend nobody.

This is my point. You add nothing to anything around here, you're not capable of it. You think being an arse to everybody is a substitute for that, but it isn't.

The point I started with applies to you as well. You're not having the effect you think you are, you are just a slightly irritating buzzing noise.

Does it actually bother me? No, not in the least. When there's nothing worth writing, I don't write anything. You should try it some time.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:24, closed)
Hang on a minute:
"I try to post at least one every week. They're not always very good, but at least I do it."

"When there's nothing worth writing, I don't write anything."

Which is it?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:09, closed)
Which part of
it are you struggling with?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:35, closed)
Which part of it are YOU struggling with?

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:50, closed)
the bit where you're an embarrassing chode

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 21:41, closed)
^STILL upset.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 21:42, closed)
Still contributing nothing
but meaningless drivel.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:45, closed)
lame troll says username!

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:11, closed)
Remind me, how many replies does this post have to get for you to declare unequivocal victory on the internet?

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 11:30, closed)
If wee can crack 200+
and then go on to try and beat pooflake's 500 odd I'll be a happy person.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 13:41, closed)
Fat chance matey...

You've got to personally insult Monty McBeef for it to get to those preposterous proportions.

I fear we'll never see the like of that thread again. For shame :(

*Wanders off spouting about how meltdowns were better in the good old days*
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 14:40, closed)
You're not putting any effort in to your lies these days.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 16:57, closed)
I don't think any level of online derision-recognition will ever compensate for the tragedy of its life
On a more positive note, judging by the state of its face, it'll be dead from a coronary pretty soon which'll be a great relief all round.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 15:52, closed)
I like how you've got me on ignore.
Yet still come to my posts buzzing around with your snarky comments.
A bit like a fly to shit really. Relax Dr. you must be hardwired for it.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 21:21, closed)
It's a good simile, for more than one reason,
but I don't think you've really thought it through.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 22:37, closed)
it's made the same comment with its last four or five accounts
poor fuck is thicker than gravel
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 22:53, closed)
oh fuck, you mean it actually IS him?
I had genuinely assumed this was another piss-take. If it isn't, it's just too pathetic for words.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 23:52, closed)
What?
Like you posting in this thread?

Do, please, feel free to come back and pass comment when you're less... lightweight.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 7:41, closed)
Hey, the bloke up there said I had a right to a valid opinion,
according to serious QOTW rules.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 9:06, closed)
of course it's him
this is literally the only social interaction the tragic mess has in his life now the cuckoo has taken her ugly kid and fucked off
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 7:59, closed)
Says the man whose wife and children
only know him from the back of his head hunched over the computer typing madly and muttering.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 8:11, closed)
The kids won't be his
...I'm betting
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 11:54, closed)
easy now
Rob Fairholme of Perth, Australia had a breakdown recently when his wife left him and took her (not his) daughter with her. He went proper mental on here and started threatening regulars in real life. He got banned. He keeps coming back. I'm not sure making jokes about parenthood is helping his recovery really.

And we definitely shouldn't use his real name or mention the fact that one reason she left him was because he set up a fake okcupid account using photographs of his underage step-daughter because being reminded he's a creepy psycho sex pest won't help him either.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 12:10, closed)
Actually.
My missus (of 17 years now) is sitting in the lounge watching the Big Bang Theory with my daughter.
I don't know where you lot came up with this idea that my wife left me and took my own flesh and blood daughter (I was there for both her conception and birth btw.) but it's wrong.
Strange that that's something you try and attack me with tho...
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 12:52, closed)
So what was it that kick-started this protracted online breakdown?

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 12:55, closed)
i'm going out on a limb here
but I reckon it was the time he was caught using the same username for an online dating service and chatting himself up with a spoof account which used photographs of an underage relative

I mean ... it could have been something else ... but it was most probably that.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 13:00, closed)
You tell me.
Or let the man who spends his every waking hour (or so it would seem) give you whatever he's made up.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 13:20, closed)
I blame Woodside.
He was the one who kept endlessly repeating that 'Painya, queen of harpies' story.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:30, closed)
^not denying that Rob Fairholme of Perth Australia used paedo shots on an online dating service^

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 12:57, closed)
This is getting boring.
The only photo on that "spoof" okcupid account was one of me.
My wife and I have only ever been married once. To each other. No step kids. Ever.
EDIT: Again, a strange way to attack a man - making up stories about him and his supposed inappropriate interactions with his wife and made up step-kids. Probably says more about you shambo and the kind of person you are than it does about me tbh.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 13:22, closed)
No, no, no...
You're doing it all wrong.

Use the pizza oven! That's the correct way to attack him, this causes instant ignore and desperate deletions.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 14:03, closed)
Actually
I was referring to you. Shambles. Just to clarify.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 13:24, closed)
yerr ... but ringo is the divorcee whose wife cuckolded him and then left him when he used photos of her daughter on a creepy dating website
he's also the one who had a mental breakdown

so ... you know ... best not to mention it like
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 23:01, closed)
I've lost track of all this now.
It's like the worst and most convoluted daytime soap ever. Still agree with the original premise, though.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 23:25, closed)
I'll give it until Friday before he's banned for gazzing you pictures of your children.
Again.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:29, closed)

you mean b&
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:33, closed)
The pic in question was of a screenshot where I named shambo.
Better taste prevailed and I deleted it.

It is strange that he'd lie about it tho. Especially to make up something to do with his kids. Again, probably says more about him than anything else.
Happy to gaz you said pic for proof if needs be.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:05, closed)
fuck you are thick

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:59, closed)
Yeah, real thick.
Timestamps are a bitch. Aren't they.
20za7pt
Now quick, run off to dob me in to a mod. There's a good lad.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 23:06, closed)
yerr ... you gazzed me pictures of my kids
I'm sure some of the weepies will still be sympathetic, you creepy paedo.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 23:15, closed)
Hmm.
Arguing on the net with an outright liar. Nope. I'm done.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 0:42, closed)
I just posted a screencap of the message, you thick paedo cunt.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:54, closed)
I found the link, lol

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 14:50, closed)
yeah ... that wasn't creepy at all

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:48, closed)
Is this actually mental illness?
I don't mean this as a joke... I'm genuinely concerned... very marginally.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 12:02, closed)
Robbie Failhome!
Ya greasy-cocked heidbanger. What's up?
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 15:07, closed)
Not his penis.
That's why his wife left him.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 19:11, closed)
as if that monstrous slag ever let the greasy mess anywhere near her money maker ... he was for inheritance only

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 22:05, closed)
You must be a hell of a lover. I can't think any of any other reason why your wife has stayed with you.
Sure as fuck isn't for your looks or your creepily obsessive collation of links on this website. That's fer sure.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 8:08, closed)
Cheers.

(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 15:51, closed)
Now would be a good time for Legless to resurface.
If Captain Placid could persuade someone to harm themselves, too, we'd have a pretty good game of "/qotw bingo" on our hands.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 22:43, closed)
alwez in r harts
Cheers.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 23:21, closed)

Where are Legless and Shamble? People just disappear out of this universe, I am a bit worried. Maybe they could come back and tell us what happens on the other side.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 14:16, closed)
Hang on a minute....you mean Legless and Carehome AREN'T the same person...?

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:42, closed)
I'm here, you thick cunt.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 23:02, closed)
Nothing here has disproved your original point
- reinforced it, in fact. Therefore you win. The end.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 23:47, closed)
Hooray!
I love a happy ending.
(, Tue 8 Jul 2014, 23:54, closed)
I feel kinda gipped at the low amount of replies.
That holy grail of 500 replies is still there beckoning to me.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 3:44, closed)
There's not enough wit around here for that, sadly
A lot of bubble blowing and watching flies, though.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 11:35, closed)
cheer up, ah, ummm, Mr...errm...ah...pal.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:50, closed)
My point exactly

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 17:55, closed)
Just remember, it's not trolling, it's TTT if you START out angry, upset and stupid.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:31, closed)
I've seen many strange creatures in my travels
The potatoey Sontarans
The blobby Plasmatons
The scarey Mandrels
etc

But none as terryfying as this

hotornot.com/en-au/dippitybix
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 0:21, closed)
Cause that's not creepy or stalkerish in any way shape or form eh Skraga?

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 0:56, closed)

Best Halloween Costume Ever.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 11:57, closed)
oh god this is beautiful.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:41, closed)
Rob, 41
0 HIS FRIENDS
0 HIS INTERESTS


lol
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:48, closed)
100 REPLIES YEEESSSSSS!!!

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 9:10, closed)
I like this.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 13:55, closed)
Hi there
Speaking as one of those people that posted shit stories on the early QOTW, I left because people like you started bitching and whining. Other posters left because people kept pointing out that they're desperate spastics with nothing better to do than lie on a website.

The talk bunch have always been here. What changed was the QOTW reply button. Early QOTW was full of posts that said things like "to x poster in y reply, your a nob lol".

Your post = "The internet doesn't work the way I want it to bloo bloo bloo".
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 10:08, closed)
it's people like you and your common sense who have ruined it for all the whining spastic shitcunts

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 10:14, closed)
Good to see an evidence based comment
on how it all went tits up.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:03, closed)
Needs MOAR Steve McDonald / Mrs Doyle

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 10:28, closed)
My favourite bit of your frankly peculiar outburst is this:
'The pointless shit-flinging bullies made sure that they tried to be made moderators of the the thread or that they knew the mods on a first name basis so that they could whinge and moan to the mods'.

I've just got one small question about this: what the fuck are you on about?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 10:28, closed)
I'D LIKE TO BE MADE MODERATOR OF THIS THREAD PLEASE, 'SCARY' OLD MATE OLD PAL.
I'D LIKE THIS, SO I CAN WHINGE AND MOAN TO THE MODS.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 10:30, closed)
More importantly
WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE MODS WHO WERE SO HAPPY WITH THE "STEP" HAMMER EARLIER THIS YEAR?
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 10:45, closed)
busy beasting beagles

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 12:01, closed)
...working the whole day through.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:05, closed)
i like this.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:44, closed)
I confess I've met a couple of the mods in real life.
I'm pretty sure I've never mentioned any of these whimpering shitwits to them. That really would be tragic as all holy fuck.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 11:16, closed)

I think you're forgetting why you were 'b&' (which has to be the most infantile use of shorthand I've ever seen), I think it was something to do with this...

'In the last two days I've been introduced to a couple of b3tans in RL. By "introduced" I mean I've found out the names and details of at least 4 of the people who have tried to bully me by mentioning my RL name on this website. A couple of them I knew months ago anyway. Thru my own internet sleuthing. But I've decided to give them an early xmas present. By giving their bosses a search link from this site to some of their.... "best" moments and providing them with their b3ta usernames. There was a couple of OBE and CBE's whose emails I had to chase up. and there was 1 person who is self-employed - finding some of their clients to notify was a bit more difficult. Now I'm NOT going to name names because that would be against the rules of this website. But in the mean time whether you believe me or not - for those of you who know you deserve this - have fun looking over your shoulder over the next few weeks.'
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 12:38, closed)
Would've been funny if he'd actually carried his threat out.
instead of bottling it like a big aussie girl.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 12:45, closed)
bampersand?
I dont get it.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 12:51, closed)
he used to present University Challenge in the 70s and 80s

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 13:05, closed)
Surely Bampersand was an Australian TV show?

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 13:41, closed)
I like this word and will be using it

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 13:42, closed)
WHEN?
under what circumstances? we need to KNOW.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:42, closed)
Sexytimes if I'm any judge.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 21:47, closed)
Nice profilelol

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:07, closed)
it is true that it is boring when stories get the same reaction over and over
who gives a fuck if a post is true or not, so long as it is amusing to read? this isn't the old bailey, and you don't get any medals for pointing out whether someone is telling the truth.

but fucking hell, most of the puns and all of that tedious skagra shite deserve it.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:44, closed)

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Every single word.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:52, closed)
^^What wobbly thighs said^^

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:55, closed)
fuck off
there's nothing wobbly about my thighs

it's the fact that you have to lift up my tits to see them that's the problem
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 15:57, closed)
POID....aaah actually, never mind

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:01, closed)
The puns
I can tolerate, but I agree with the rest.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:00, closed)
some of the puns are great
but mostly they make me want to staple things to people's arseholes and then bake them in shambles' pizza oven.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:07, closed)
Ooh sweetie
I'm wet now

Shllllllllluuuummm!
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:53, closed)
Spankyhanky was..
..fucking shit though.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 15:16, closed)
i hope you drown in 20,000 litres of your own bitter tears.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:42, closed)
Can't even get the meme correct.

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:01, closed)
sorry, carehome, what was that?
do you think you're a meme? you're a narcissistic, paranoid mess, is what you are. do you have a diagnosis?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:42, closed)
You utter mammary gl&

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:49, closed)

Talk to the h&.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:54, closed)
I'm just off for a h& sh&dy

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 16:56, closed)
is she that shit iranian 'comedian'

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 17:12, closed)
comedi&

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 17:56, closed)
Wtf is a comediand?
She's a comedi-n.
No, you're right. She isn't.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:10, closed)
the thing is, cobber
That you make out like qotw is some kind of terribly worthy creative writing workshop.

I'm assuming (based on your dismal literary skills) that you've never been near a creative writing workshop in your obese life. Would it be easier for you to bear if the (warranted) criticism of your output was expressed in softer language?

Rob. Your writing isn't very good and you appear to struggle with the concept of 'stories'. Perhaps you would be better off on a different website, perhaps one with a dedicated resource for budding writers.

Hope this helps.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 18:12, closed)
I'm sorry, I'm not having that.
His stories are a wonderful insight into a fascinating world. Feel the depth, colour and vibrancy in which this world is described:

'Broke up with my "Queen of The Harpies" gf - "Painya" (you know that 1 truly fucked up relationship you have to have to understand that it was a truly fucked relationship) and the small group of (male) friends who chose her over me including my ex-business partner Dick (couple even fucked her - mmmm... slops, but already knowing what a fucked up bitch she could be my only question is "Why?").
A jizz-monkey - "Dumpster" moved in with me (gotta pay the rent... or not as was the case) who then did a runner aided by Dick.
My besty Ron-as-in-Later (that was his nom de plume) then took it upon himself to nick Dick's massive pot plant as revenge for seeing his mate so royally fucked over. He then slowly sold me large bags of that stuff over several months for a very small financial outlay (I'm talking silver coins - asked no questions, he told me no lies). Ron only told me that a few years ago. He died last Dec. I miss you mate.
So - Dick I enjoyed smoking all your pot you wanker. Cheers fuck-knuckle. I hope to god you still have the misfortune of being Painya's friend/wanna-be fuck buddy (she never liked the fatties btw).
Names changed cause I put a shit-load of sugar in Dumpster's bike tank & happily watched the business I'd built up (without a lot of Dick's help) crumble to not-very much AFTER he'd bought me out.'

It's simply joyous in its execution.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 20:06, closed)
Beautiful.
*wipes away tear*
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 20:08, closed)
Salman Rushdie and Martin Amis are quivering in their boots.
John Berger is crying into his cup of tea.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 20:30, closed)
Not to mention &ré Breton
or Douglas Coupl& (renowned of course for Girlfriend in a , )
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 1:02, closed)
'Salm& Rushdie'?

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 7:04, closed)
You have to h& it to him

(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 21:48, closed)
Where would we be without our ace archivist?
Ignorant, that's where.
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:14, closed)
It was just another case of female stops play
on an otherwise total result of a holiday
(, Wed 9 Jul 2014, 22:51, closed)
You really are quite perculiar. Why don't you just avoid this place if you're unhappy with it?

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:08, closed)
he lives for the abuse
and also scaryduck is a useless cunt so it takes days or weeks for him to get around to banning creepy paedos.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:14, closed)
getting gazzed a picture of your kids is pretty creepy tho
Maybe he wanted to do some pic swapping. Your kids for his cuckoo.

He's mentally unwell.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 8:18, closed)
yeah ... I realise he can't do anything about being thick
but you'd think he'd try to disguise the creepy paedo aspect.

What happens if the cuckoo ever Googles "rob fairholme" and finds all this stuff? That's pretty grim even if she isn't his real kid.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:05, closed)
how many times do you think he wanked over that picture of your kids?

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:20, closed)
Can't wait to see
If all this ends up on the front page of the next newsletter.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:09, closed)
that would be unfortunate
Another of those would probably make the creepy paedo threads the top Google result for'rob fairholme'.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:17, closed)
second result on google....
edit: for rob fairholme perth
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 14:17, closed)
JUST ONE MORE FOR THE MAGIC TWO HUNDRED!!!

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:15, closed)
Three is the magic hundred.
Give it about ten minutes, eh?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:33, closed)
Go on then..

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:17, closed)
JMG's fault!

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:41, closed)

This place was so much better before you joined.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:44, closed)
which time?

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 9:50, closed)

Any of them.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:03, closed)
I don't think it was him joining that caused the problem.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:17, closed)
Just to clarify...
Him fucking posting that inane drivel he calls stories was the problem.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 10:33, closed)

I didn't say that it did.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:08, closed)
It was a happier place back then.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:14, closed)

It was funnier, certainly
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:55, closed)
Just a question, You know this reaction is going to happen,
you come back and provoke it. What does this do for you, how does it enrich your life?
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:12, closed)
It's what he lives for.
clocking up insulting replies is what stops him from chucking it all in
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:21, closed)
We are all guilty.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:24, closed)
You really are a spastic
If you hate this place so much fuck off, you aren't under any obligation to be here, and nor is this place under any obligation to be like the wank you harp on about; it would still be fucking boring if it was.

'Active story-telling thread,' I hate to burst your blinkered little bubble but that's what killed it in the first place, people coming along and writing fucking war and peace week in week out, not hilarious little episodes or experiences they had, that didn't require more than a paragraph or two. It was these 'stories' that attracted all you seem to detest, as only long winded boring, bullshit can. Naturally people are going to rip the piss out of obvious bollocks which most of these schoolyard sagas invariably are.

/talk isn't to blame for anything, it's the wankers who came and continue to come here writing ten thousand word essays on how to be a spastic in life from personal experience week in, week out that are suffocating this place to death. People from /talk actually keep us sane in comparison to a glance at some of what you feel nostalgic for.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:24, closed)
Needs more line breaks, wavy lines, and comparisons to the length of your member.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:34, closed)
lol for
ten thousand word essays on how to be a spastic in life from personal experience
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 13:42, closed)
Just thought I'd join in.
Love a good bandwagon, me.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:32, closed)
b&wagon

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 11:43, closed)
This is like watching a mighty and majestic lion being torn down by a pack of rabid jackals.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 12:33, closed)
Nice edit from 'Majestic' to 'mighty'
but still? Bwaahaahahaahaaa!

Anyhoo Rob, thanks for showing us another of your sockpuppet accounts.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 12:35, closed)
Either works for me.

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 12:39, closed)
awww ... have the big bully mods b&mpers&ded your other account already?

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 12:50, closed)
Typical lies from a stupid internet troll.
I am merely the Peter to his Jesus.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 13:00, closed)
It's 'banned' mate.
Not 'b&' that's a totally different word.
(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 12:47, closed)
I don't think he underst&s :(

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 13:54, closed)
Hi Bobby!

(, Thu 10 Jul 2014, 14:34, closed)

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