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Home » Messageboard » Steve Jobs RIP » Message 10568212

[challenge entry] Dropping in late with a quick Stevie J.

From the Steve Jobs RIP challenge. See all 85 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Neon Guru 's gonna booglarize you baby., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:01, archived)
# ha! This is what I'm seeing...
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:06, archived)
# ...again
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:15, archived)
# O_o

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:16, archived)
# Needs moar electric sex pants
(I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:50, archived)
# I see wank
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:34, archived)
# His middle name was 'blow'
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:38, archived)
# Now you've ruined it by being childish..
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Neon Guru 's gonna booglarize you baby., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:39, archived)
# You're short one hair
SundaeGirl must have it
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:18, archived)
#
I thought three was the minimum
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:35, archived)
# three on each ball
we're not stingy
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 13:03, archived)
# "the cloth i wear is made from flags"
hope anyone here also listens to his MUSIC which is pretty good as in: have some berry fan art

(MarkP0rter is an annoying faggot, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 13:01, archived)
# Puerile
*click*
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:09, archived)
# these silicon enhanced babies 'aint nutin' but bitches and ho's
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:14, archived)
# Oh look, it's a smug bastard selling overpriced shiny things to the technologically inert.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:23, archived)
# inert or inept?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:24, archived)
# DON'T QUESTION DISCOMEATS
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:26, archived)
# INDEED, FOR I DO NOT FORGIVE
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:29, archived)
# first one, then the other
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:29, archived)
# Fair enough
I like the phrase "technologically inert". It seems to describe all those people who stick with the technology they had as a kid and refuse to move on no matter how demonstrably better something else. See also: old people worshipping vinyl even though its vaunted "fidelity" is worthless unless you fork out for an extraordinarily high-quality system, and even then it has a smaller decibel range than CDs... which are technology from 19 fucking 80 and use 16 measly bits and a pretty crummy sampling rate.

Pah.

Anyway, it's a nice phrase.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:48, archived)
# Douglas Adams says
"1) everything that’s already in the world when you’re born is just normal;

2) anything that gets invented between then and before you turn thirty is incredibly exciting and creative and with any luck you can make a career out of it;

3) anything that gets invented after you’re thirty is against the natural order of things and the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it until it’s been around for about ten years when it gradually turns out to be alright really."
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:51, archived)
# Douglas Adams was a smart cookie
I'm already feeling this effect and I'm only 32.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:54, archived)
# he's alive?! quick! dig him up before he suffocates!
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:55, archived)
# He does!
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:34, archived)
# I'd get that left hand seen too if I was Jobs
(I helped save b3ta! tim1701 I have no board signature!!!!!, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:10, archived)
# it is a claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:12, archived)
# haha loving the left hand!!
a tricky problem SOLVED!
(I helped save b3ta! lustreboy making himself laugh since 1973 (tm), Wed 12 Oct 2011, 2:52, archived)
# aaaaargh Apple Macs!
*holds up cross and waves garlic*
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:31, archived)
# you're holding the cross wrong
and your garlic is incompatible
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:35, archived)
# quick turn it off!
Oh god no it's SYNCING!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:39, archived)
# ahahaha
proper office lol



Sent from my iPhone.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:48, archived)
# haha
I get that all fucking day long, "Sent from my iPad", "Sent from my iPhone", "Sent from my Windows Phone".. I DO NOT CARE



Sent from my extra-smug iPad2
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 9:55, archived)
# YOU WILL LEARN TO CARE
WE WILL MAKE YOU CARE.

Sent from my iPad.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:00, archived)
# A quote from the Guardian comment section:
"He is the sole reason for my love for gadgets. He'll live in my heart forever. I dedicate a special space to him"

It's amazing what a messianic cult the guy built up by selling consumerist tat.
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:03, archived)
# I like my iPod Classic and I use Macs all the time
but the veneration thrown at him is astonishing. He was a salesman, and an extremely effective one, and he had some nice ideas about design and cutting the shit to reduce something to what it's designed to do. He also had some ideas about business practice that would have seen Apple broken up and fined to oblivion if they'd had a slightly higher market share, a desire to lock people into their ecosystem to an insane degree (I don't want to use iTunes with my iPod, thank you, I'd rather use something that isn't so fucking SHIT) and the direction that OSX is moving in is looking distinctly unappetising.

People just seem to think that Apple are the nice guys and are looking out for them. No, no they're not, they're a massive international corporation who don't give a fuck about you. Yes, Stephen Fry, I'm talking to *you*.

Pah.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:12, archived)
# to be fair, they're probably sucking Stephen Fry's cock morning noon and night
as he is their leading British "brand ambassador"

and he's always on TV
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:20, archived)
# I hope for his sake they pay him a fortune for it all
because the alternative is that he really believes that Apple invented everything and do it better than anyone else. I like a lot of Apple's kit but... seriously, come on Stephen. Either cash your massive pay cheque or ease up a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:26, archived)
# a dick to work with, apparently.
fucking people off since the days of the Homebrew Computer Club.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:20, archived)
# That as well
I don't think many genuinely lovely people become CEO of major multinational companies. He did seem to have his good sides, too, and I don't think anyone could argue how successful it all was. Still, it's interesting to compare the amount of money that Bill Gates (devil incarnate, worst man in computing ever blah blah blah blah blah) and Microsoft (devil incarnate, worst company in computing ever blah blah blah blah blah) have thrown at charities compared with Jobs and Apple.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:23, archived)
# as evil as bill is, I'm sure he'd be more fun to talk to
:)

edit: especially as he's still breathing and wouldn't need some kind of lightning powered frankenstein app for that.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:26, archived)
# I don't think Jobs would make a good conversationalist any more
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:27, archived)
# it'd take more than stuffing his corpse with LIDL meat and a bit of necromancy to make that feasible, indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:30, archived)
# Thinking about it
someone's probably built an App and stuffed it full of Jobs quotes. You could just put an iPhone in his jacket and talk to that. It might not seem like he's listening to you but by repute that wouldn't be a surprise.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:32, archived)
# haha
there's always this
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:09, archived)
# someone will do this
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:22, archived)
# In terms of altruism, Bill Gates has given more back.
Apple are notoriously uncharitable, despite their wealth. Jobs also.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:56, archived)
# I might even phrase it "Apple are defiantly uncharitable"
or "Apple are unapologetically uncharitable".
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 13:04, archived)
# I'LL NEVER CARE!
Sent from my tiny screen K700i with "nub" that doesn't work and Vodafone raped operating system that removes some features because I'd probably be "confused" by them because Vodafone thinks it's customers are morons which is ultimately true because they are customers of Vodafone.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:03, archived)
# pfffft





Sent from my
Dell Dimension DE051
Intel(R)
Celeron(R) CPU 2.53 GHz
256 MB of RAM
Windows XP OS
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:11, archived)
# OMG UR USING XP STILL USING XP OMG YOUR USING XP OMG XP IS OMG XP
Sent from computer with XP.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:15, archived)
# YOU SO WILL
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:13, archived)
# *cries*
Sent from eyeTearducts.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:15, archived)
# Apple harvest your tears to wash new iPhones before packaging
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:21, archived)
# well jokes on them!
I used fake tears made from processed chinese orphan dreams!

HAH!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:23, archived)
# So *you're* to blame for the delay getting a white iPhone 4 out
I knew there had to be some reason more than "It's hard to make a white plastic phone".
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:24, archived)
# Most sorry!
iPhone case used to make iFon best quality! Play mp3 mp4 mp5 mp6 mp7 mp8!!!!

complete with 32GB memory using only 2gb memory chip! Best quality!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:28, archived)
# Wow
mp8? I thought they'd run out of steam after mp7!
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 10:33, archived)
# there's always a new mp*
with higher number than foreign mp*! therefore many times better!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:14, archived)
# i was waiting for aaac
and then xxxc, the codec optimised for overdone grunts and moans
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:19, archived)
# I got my mam an iPad for her 60th birthday in May.
The conversation went like this..

Tim1701 - "Right Mam, I've set it all up, here's your e-mail... And I've taken off that stupid "sent from my ipad" signature because it's really twattie"

Mam - "Why? Put that back!"

Tim1701 - "Wha..? Why?"

Mam - "I want every one I e-mail to know i've got an iPad!"

Thing is, she only e-mails me, my brother and sister and my dad (the ones to my dad are generally about cups of tea and shopping)

So basicly, I turned my own mother into a tw.... I CANT SAY IT!
(I helped save b3ta! tim1701 I have no board signature!!!!!, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:00, archived)
# Haha
Let that be a lesson to you.

I must confess I've never used an iPad. I was playing around with a Samsung Galaxy Tab the other day though. It was actually quite nice, just like an oversized phone.... oh.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:18, archived)
# Thats all the ipad is, an oversized iphone
But my mam is a bit technophobic, anything windows or linux based would fox her, this is a really good interface for anyone unfamiliar with GUIs and the way they work, you tap, your there! it makes sense, its a baby interface.
(I helped save b3ta! tim1701 I have no board signature!!!!!, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:38, archived)
# OMG U LIKE TOTALLY DISSED ON ANDROID THERE
NO WAYZ

i quite liked what i saw of the samsung tablet and i know the ipad's going to be a bit more... refined. i'd be tempted myself if i had pots of money free. but i'll say it very quietly.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:58, archived)
# Steve Jobs wearing something other than a black sweater?
Fake.
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:05, archived)