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# Newletter subjlols
come on team, you can do it
(I helped save b3ta! God - smiting mortals since 4004 BC, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:00, archived)
# now with 50% extra cheese
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:03, archived)
# "How much is my Rolfaroo worth now?"
(I helped save b3ta! Mster Johnny Ekstrom, now that's a name, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:04, archived)
# Dwarf Planet Pluto prefers the term 'Little Planet'
(Colostomy Bag Explosion Lubing the gears of commercialism, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:04, archived)
# Left shark free zone
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:07, archived)
# Checking your facebook photos for your wife and/or daughters in swimwear.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:21, archived)
# Cutting people off mid sent
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:28, archived)
# Blah blah blah blah...
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:31, archived)
# beating our children
with dignity
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:30, archived)
# Oppa Papam Style
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 13:00, archived)
# Don't get your hopes up. Ever.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:30, archived)
# sendyourenemieskidsglitter.com
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:33, archived)
# HAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! Frogbeat, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:34, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:36, archived)
# Winner!
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 13:18, archived)
# clickin dis
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 22:45, archived)
# Weaker than a Ukranian travel agent's sales pitch.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:35, archived)
# Disappointing Tim Berners-Lee since 2001
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:39, archived)
# In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed B3tan can get his cock out in public
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:40, archived)
# "Less important than painting the kitchen ceiling" - Mrs Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:42, archived)
# Proving that there IS an 'i' in teiam
That's my lot for now
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:43, archived)
# Panic buying seen at 99p stores following takeover bid from Poundland
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:45, archived)
# just a brief
(macroscian (1 like), Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:45, archived)
# Comprised of humorous excerpts from the week's internet antics
Context
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:48, archived)
# Gary Glitter to cover Robbie Williams' kids
(I helped save b3ta! Winthorpe Sim-Sala-Bim, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:50, archived)
# like Gary glitter
Coming before 6
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:50, archived)
# Room-Clearing Farts
Not just good "lager bombs", they have to be room-clearers. People stampeding the fire exits.

Say.... in the course of a day you polished off 8 pints of Newkie Brown Ale, coupla glasses of red, a coupla steak and onion pies, a takeaway curry, a 5 pound block of Hershey's, 6 coffees.... then you got on to the good stuff, if ya know what I mean and I think you know what I mean.... and it all got gummed up and stayed in there for 36 hours.

And you're at your Monday 10am physics lecture when all hell breaks loose....


(Big Ramifications, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 12:59, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 13:00, archived)
# I'm New Here
I thought this nice "God" fellow was soliciting subjects for the next newsletter....?

You've directed me to an "Off Topic" page did I say something wrong?
(Big Ramifications, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 13:29, archived)
# "subjlols" is b3ta-speak for a pithy, puerile, generally topical one-liner to be the subject line for the weekly newsletter.
For content for newsletters there's an option in the "mail us" form.

Or for general abstract bantering there's Off Topic under QOTW (which is a slightly less oppressive environment than /talk.

*helpful navigation through the minefield that is b3ta*
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 13:59, archived)
# I dunno, I think "Room-Clearing Farts" would make a great subjlol
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 14:11, archived)
# Agreed, but the subsequent clarifying text would bugger up the formatting something rotten.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 14:16, archived)
# Room-clearing farts need no clarifying text, just an openable window
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 14:27, archived)
# A friend of mine has the concept of Car Cricket.
Based on the strength of the fart. One run for each window opened, and for a 6 the car has to pull over and someone get out.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 14:30, archived)
# Gonzerrrr....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY-nrNOfijA
(Big Ramifications, Sat 7 Feb 2015, 3:33, archived)
# thx
Appreciated.
(Big Ramifications, Sat 7 Feb 2015, 3:36, archived)
# He came by.
Can you take the fucking spastic back now please?
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 16:28, archived)
# Jesus Christ
One of the floggers has followed me back here.
(Big Ramifications, Sat 7 Feb 2015, 3:35, archived)
# erm...
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 13:11, archived)
# fuck off, nonce
(couldnt put it on the /talk thread for ignore reasons)
(I helped save b3ta! spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 13:16, archived)
# I haven't read the news this week but there was a picture of a plane crashing that looked quite good so maybe that. Can you do pictures?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 14:25, archived)
# TUNA PARASITES SWARMING OUR BORDERS, CLAIM UKIP
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 14:25, archived)
# my neck is oozing pus
(I helped save b3ta! empire of the pussycat requires more champage, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 14:46, archived)
# sounds great
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 14:56, archived)
# was a bit of a surprise
off to doctor shortly

usually i'm not squeamish, but in this case, oh deary me
(I helped save b3ta! empire of the pussycat requires more champage, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 15:16, archived)
# when a nurse poke at your leg and says "eeeewww"
you know it's bad :D
possibly a blocked hair follicle that's got infected
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 15:22, archived)
# What's the matter? Louse got your tongue?
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 16:47, archived)
# 50 Shades of Grey To Hit Cinemas; In Other News, Cinemas Stockpiling Febreeze Leads to National Shortage.
(I helped save b3ta! joefish It's hard for thee to kick against the pricks, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 16:53, archived)
# The newsletter that everyone used to enjoy reading whilst pretending to work, that now comes out once you're in the pub
I'm glad it's back though :)
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 17:27, archived)
# Put the Fucking Eyes Back in their Proper Place!!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 6 Feb 2015, 18:30, archived)