
I didn't write this...and nor did I say I did...it is a total rip off....BUT it is better looking than the picture below...and that is my excuse...and men are just as bad, but hey...
Please note that the all British banks will shortly be following EU directives and installing new 'Drive-thru' cash point machines. Following the growing threat of violence and muggings, this will enable customers to safely withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.To help assist users, the following procedures have been drawn up.
Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (MALE or
FEMALE) and remember them when you use the
state-of-the-art facilites for
the first time.
Male Procedure
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off
Female Procedure
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to re-align car
window to machine
3. Re-start the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger
seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down to concentrate more
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
to its excessive
distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Remove card and re-insert the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN
written on the inside back
page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Check make up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash
inside
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book
19. Re-check make-up again
20. Drive forwards 10 yards
21. Brake sharply and reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place
card into the slot
provided
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release handbrake
SICcopied direct from a received email!
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:30,
archived)
Please note that the all British banks will shortly be following EU directives and installing new 'Drive-thru' cash point machines. Following the growing threat of violence and muggings, this will enable customers to safely withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.To help assist users, the following procedures have been drawn up.
Please read the procedure that applies to your own circumstances (MALE or
FEMALE) and remember them when you use the
state-of-the-art facilites for
the first time.
Male Procedure
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off
Female Procedure
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to re-align car
window to machine
3. Re-start the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger
seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down to concentrate more
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
to its excessive
distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Remove card and re-insert the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN
written on the inside back
page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Check make up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash
inside
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book
19. Re-check make-up again
20. Drive forwards 10 yards
21. Brake sharply and reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place
card into the slot
provided
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release handbrake
SICcopied direct from a received email!

it was sent around on parchment before they invented email
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33,
archived)

before they discovered the miracle of staple removal
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33,
archived)

It's just better looking than Anne Widdicomthing
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:34,
archived)

(and there isn't, I hate loads of things) it's people who take excessive amounts of time at cash machines. How hard can it be? Many people act as though they hae never seen one before and are totally befuddled by technology. Meanwhile, I stand behind them getting angrier and angrier.
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:33,
archived)

It's such a pointless thing to get angry about. They're going to make you, what, 45 seconds late?
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:41,
archived)

Do you know what I do for a living? I'm a 100 metre sprinter. That 45 seconds makes the difference between a gold medal and the slowest ever finish!
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:52,
archived)

wherever you go. You know it makes sense.
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:54,
archived)

how DO people take so long at cash machines ? All you can do is check your balance, print a statement and get money...but somehow they still spend 10 minutes starting at the screen....i just don't get it !
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:52,
archived)

your spelling and grammar is atrocious
facilites
vehicles.To
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:34,
archived)
facilites
vehicles.To

There's always someone more pedantic than yourself.
( ,
Mon 3 Nov 2003, 13:36,
archived)