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# nasty jobs
I once worked for a high pressure steam cleaner company and was seconded to go and demonstrate said cleaner at the then BR Manchester. Notwithstanding meeting Sir Bob Reid ( Then CEO of BR and he of the missing right hand) and proffering the wrong arm to handshake with I was then led off to demonstrate my miraculous cleaning machine on the underside of a train followed by a large entourage of BR bigwigs and cleaning staff. I descended into the pit and proceeded to start up the machine. After about 30 seconds of firing water at the undercarriage of the engine I realised that the mess that they had selected me to clean off their train was very definitely not of the industrial variety-I was showered with clumps of hair, skin and dried gore,much to the general hilarity of the assembled watchers........
Yep-----suicide victim. Such comedians.
(mockup, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:13, archived)
# good story
wrong thread
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:13, archived)
# Hahahahahahah
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:15, archived)
# christ, that's cruel.
but be a love and put it on the thread on the front page.
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:14, archived)
# your name describes the situation perfectly
you'll want to see the 'reply' link in the correct thread
(1, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:14, archived)
# ergh
that's fucking sick!
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:14, archived)
# my thoughts exactly
edit: huyuhefwee./wrlp/we[lper.opkt[rjtkr.to.rjioij.jofjojfo;qbnm,
(1, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)
# my thoughts
exactly

:)
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:19, archived)
# ?
eh?
(Tesla, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)
# Oh good greif
(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gear the gay-maker, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:14, archived)
# Wrong thread,
follow the link on the front page to add your story

Thank you
(I helped save b3ta! Dogtanian, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:14, archived)
# Baz, stop it.
(WouldSwapABearForATiger, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:14, archived)
# for the story to have a chance of being used on the radio show
you need to add it to the thread linked from the frontpage of the site.

Adding it here will only result in it being

A. missed when we choose the stories
B. nasty comments ...

Anyway cheers for your post.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:15, archived)
# when's the QOTW
going to be ready for these?
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)
# it was ready
but then both existing questions got deleted

so why DID birds sing
(1, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:17, archived)
# we found out
but the avairian malitia told us that theyd kill us if we told anyone
(I helped save b3ta! lo, the OTHER greebo warrior, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:19, archived)
# Their all gay
(I helped save b3ta! wayward., Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:19, archived)
# I don't know
Cal is making it at the mo. It'll be ready when it's ready.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:18, archived)
# you sound like my mum
(yakmonkey, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:44, archived)
# rob
do you ever look at the nasty comments and think "I've created a monster - people are being wankers using a tool partially of my creation and therefore almost slightly in my name"?
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:18, archived)
# Ten Reasons Why You Should Stay Fluffy (something I scribbled earlier today)
1. You were a newbie once.

2. A community that doesn't let people in can whither and die.

3. Your response is the first thing a newbie sees. You're carrying the flag for what b3ta represents. Be nasty to enough people and the message will spread round the world, "B3ta is crap."

4. Domokun knows your sin.

5. Many people who started out a bit annoying settled down and became great contributors.

6. Is it any harder to type, "Welcome. Read the faq. Photoshop a kitten" than "Cock off you threadwasting silly chicken?"

7. Do a small bit of good today. Your reward is knowing that you've contributed to a better world.

8. Ok - you've seen the gag before. Don't attack - make something better.

9. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" is a lie.

10. Each nasty statement chips away at the premise, "B3ta is friendly."

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:20, archived)
# 5 applies to me...
...though I am still annoying
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:21, archived)
# I think I may rate highly on the Twatometer too.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:24, archived)
# hehehehehe
*scuttles off to shop a 'twatometer'*
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:25, archived)
# mines got the needle buried deep in the red.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:35, archived)
# yeah
that's true


;)
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:24, archived)
# i only come
here to get slagged off though...
(I helped save b3ta! aubergene, Thu 13 Nov 2003, 15:47, archived)
#
I'm off to photoshop a kitten.
(WouldSwapABearForATiger, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:21, archived)
# was sunshine elephant the original flameboys.tk spammer?
and i like point 4.
(I helped save b3ta! _null_, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:22, archived)
# that was done with
such panache.
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:28, archived)
# *applauds*
(I helped save b3ta! zerolicious, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:22, archived)
# The
"Domokun knows your sin." line has left me rather unsettled.
(I helped save b3ta! Dogtanian, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:22, archived)
# Yay
All very true
(I helped save b3ta! wayward., Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:23, archived)
# somebody needs to shop that onto some stone tablets
quick!

Vive la fluffiness.
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:23, archived)
# To be fair
On number 6 the second one is quite a bit easier - less usage of the shift key...
(I helped save b3ta! TV's Nosemonkey, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:23, archived)
# What he said
that has to be put on the weblog or the faq or something. more people need to see it... see that was much better than saying 'oh stop banging on about fluffiness you dumb cunt'.

edit: dammit, i'm all the way down here. I should have replied quicker

you know, i think someone should make it into a nice aniamtion. Meh, I'll do it...
(1, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:24, archived)
# hooray.
too many people have zero-tolerance policies towards mistakes on this board, and at times it can really take away from what is otherwise a really great thing.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:28, archived)
# I WILL ALWAYS
BE FLUFFY *bows out*
(I helped save b3ta! Koogas, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:47, archived)
# Here here!
www.b3ta.com/board/2314953
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 17:27, archived)
# Yay for Fluffiness
Well said!
(I helped save b3ta! Maffydoo, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 18:23, archived)
# well said
we should all try harder.
(I helped save b3ta! jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 20:24, archived)
# Im sure he just laughs.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:20, archived)
# Blimey.
This goes deep.
(I helped save b3ta! Mullet Over, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:21, archived)
# said the vicar to the...
(I helped save b3ta! brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:26, archived)
# Apology
Sorry for posting in wrong place. Excuse my abject stupidity
(mockup, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:35, archived)
# you mock up'd
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:16, archived)
# Christ
that's nasty
(I helped save b3ta! wayward., Wed 12 Nov 2003, 14:19, archived)