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# At school, I was a total goody goody
... on the surface...

This meant that I could get away with anything because the teachers never suspected miss goody two shoes. This was Junior school in the late 70's.

There was this kid in the class called Stuart Hughes who was a kind of amiable dimwit. One time I was sat next to him (at the front of the class, natch). Secreted in my desk was a drawing pin.

When he got up out of his seat I planted the pin point up and awaited his return. He sat right down on it and leaped into the air clutching his arse and making a most gratifying kind of 'yarrrrrrroooooo' noise.

The teacher hurried over and stood in front of my desk. 'Claire!' she barked, and I thought oh shit my cover is blown, but relaxed as she continued, 'did you see who did that?'

'No miss' *angelic smile*

She may even have thought he did it himself, for attention...

Sorry Stuart, but it was too perfect an opportunity to ignore.
(I helped save b3ta! weevilstepmother, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:07, archived)
# ooooh
a female bristolian b3tan! They do exist then!
(I helped save b3ta! icezebra *insert large monkey*, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:11, archived)
# You don't get out much then?
:)
(I helped save b3ta! weevilstepmother, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:14, archived)
# : )
You mean you're not the only lady in bristol?
(I helped save b3ta! icezebra *insert large monkey*, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:20, archived)
# I know of at least
one other!
(I helped save b3ta! weevilstepmother, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:28, archived)
# ME!
I'm from Bristol, and female.
(Flower has a new job!, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:51, archived)
# i am orginally from just outside of bristol but am male
but now living in swansea!!
(I helped save b3ta! Plomien is Polish for flame, Wed 26 Nov 2003, 2:09, archived)
# Me is from Bristol
Me own Ma's a shithead.
(I helped save b3ta! karatesausage, Wed 26 Nov 2003, 11:45, archived)
# wahey
another fellow swansea boy!
sorry, i've never lived in bristol though.
(pomegranate, Thu 27 Nov 2003, 0:16, archived)
# i'm from bristol!
but not female.
(I helped save b3ta! wingphil, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:31, archived)
# I be from Brizzle
...but I wasn't female last time I looked...

sorry
(I helped save b3ta! man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 14:52, archived)
# I hadn't realised
you were from Bristol.

There should be a Bristol B3ta bash. There seem to be a fair few of us... Crash space available at my pad for those who want to travel.
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:34, archived)
# There was one,
I think it was in August. I couldn't get to it cos I was playing with motorbikes instead.
(I helped save b3ta! weevilstepmother, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:38, archived)
# Nothing to stop
another one happening surely? it's 3 months since that one, and I wan't even in Bristol then - I was climbing big mountains in the Alps, so I think that counts as a valid excuse.
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:40, archived)
# Agreed!
LP organised the last one, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! weevilstepmother, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:44, archived)
# I've whacked a post
up on the 'main' board. I could post a link here but I didn't copy the post number down. Duh. It's there though, under a picture of a kitten / Squirrel thing.
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:47, archived)
# I be from Brizzle too
Me Babber,

Eee be having thee bash too me lover?
(Bristol Tom, Thu 27 Nov 2003, 17:45, archived)
# I'm from Bristol too
well, from Devizes in wilts originally, but I'm climbing the West Country Status Ladder, so now I live in a city, inside loo, central heating, ITV etc.

B3ta bash would be cool..Bierkeller?
(Rockster77, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:46, archived)
# Why do they like potatoes in Wiltshire?
Coz they got the Devizes for Chippenham!

Boom Boom

/coat
(I helped save b3ta! weevilstepmother, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:50, archived)
# Check out the pub scheduler
on 4rthur. It's there on the 10th Dec.
(jacko_here just here has some ducks, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:57, archived)
# Oooo
You are from Devizes originally? Me too o.o;; Scary.
(Ocarina and the horse comes., Thu 27 Nov 2003, 2:11, archived)
# there was a Stuart Hughes at my school
His nickname was Bus Man because his dad drove a bus. This wasn't actually true but it didn't stop the name calling.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:16, archived)
# This Stuart Hughes
spent most of each day climbing in and out of the (ground floor) classroom windows, or sitting quietly waiting for the snot dribble to reach his top lip where he could lick it off.
(I helped save b3ta! weevilstepmother, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:19, archived)
# These Stuart Hughe(s)
Were either of these two Stuart Hughes from Burton-on-Trent? or Belper?
(SneakyPete, Wed 26 Nov 2003, 15:48, archived)
# kids can be so cruel
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Thu 27 Nov 2003, 14:03, archived)
# Being able to get away with everything
doesn't always work, as I've just found out above...
(I helped save b3ta! Whillow, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:28, archived)
# "yarrrrrrroooooo"
fantastic
(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Tue 25 Nov 2003, 15:01, archived)
# similar, but with no lying and near-tragic results
in maybe 5th grade i stuck a pencil under my friends ass as he sat down. maybe it is a biological phenomenon but he, too, made a rather incredible noise as he shot up like a rocket.

i remember relatively vividly the principal telling me that they removed a chunk of pencil lead that was imbedded in his skin about half an inch away from his scrotum. *shudders* i was bad. its not like he would have had kids, anyway, as he died drunk driving
(I helped save b3ta! Pee-Bob, Wed 26 Nov 2003, 4:39, archived)
# Possibly, you share my secret identity...
I was also Miss Goody-Two-Shoes USA for most of my school years. That is , until I told a boy named Dave that a giant pumpkin was going to smash his house on halloween. It was a joke, and he went insane, "pumpkin-proofing" his house with packing peanuts and duct tape. Dave was in perfect mental health. Dave was in 9th grade, i was in 7th. Do teh math. Sorry dave.
(number 27-hunter, Mon 1 Dec 2003, 22:52, archived)