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# I need some nasty ideas please.
An ex of mine is getting married this month to the person she left me for. OK, it was several years ago that this happened, but I am quite good at holding grudges. Any innovative ways in which I can ruin their big day?
EDIT: I'M JOKING!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:25, archived)
# the best revenge
is to live well, or something.

Please don't spoil someone's wedding - maybe he's just much, much better in bed than you? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:30, archived)
# Ouch!
meany!
(I helped save b3ta! Jay, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:34, archived)
# heh!
sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:38, archived)
# Please don't apologise
my psychiatrist tells me that I need to face up to the truth :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:41, archived)
# I'm with Dr. Phil on this...
i'm meeting my ex over the weekend. I just hope she's doing well for herself, cos I am.

I find revenge a bit distasteful, it also doesn't match with my idea of what love is
(Mattyboy, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:48, archived)
# *giggle*
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:41, archived)
# STOP THAT!
.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:46, archived)
# sorry :-P
*snigger*
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:55, archived)
# phiiiillll
that really isn't going to help..!

dude, put the cattle prod down... no, just leave it..

fly, you fools!

just get horribly drunk and gatecrash.
(grampski, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:55, archived)
# Fucking hell!!
Are you me? That just happened to me too, although we split up in a reasonable amicable way.

My advice - forget them, your brain will become poisonous and its unhealthy to dwell on such things.
It still hurts like hell, but not as much as getting buggered in prison when the filth finally run you in after your shotgun frenzy.
(I helped save b3ta! Jay, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:32, archived)
# Just
get a better looking, funnier, more dedicated girlfriend of your own, and marry her at a better wedding...
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:33, archived)
# thats the best idea ( apart form invading poland of course)
and hopefully by this point, the relationship will have soured, invite them and maybe that will tip them over the edge.
(I helped save b3ta! Alfie, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:51, archived)
# I want one of those
Where do i get one?
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:51, archived)
# don't ruin someones wedding!
that's just tight.
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:33, archived)
# Invade
Poland.
(tomsk, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:35, archived)
# HOORAY!
The sort of answer I was looking for!
*goes off to mass troops along Polish border*
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:37, archived)
# class.
I laugh etc.
(shiftClick shifts it., Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:37, archived)
# ha ha ha
the answer to all lifes difficult questions!
(I helped save b3ta! curry monster, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:40, archived)
# recreate
their wedding with toys Adam and Jo style - and make them come to your house to watch it when they get back off honeymoon.

(Of course, actually doing anything would just make her glad that she left you in the first place)
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:36, archived)
# Oh, you lot are too serious sometimes.
Of course I'm not ACTUALLY going to do anything. I just wanted to hear some funny ideas. Bunch of spoilsports :P
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:36, archived)
# in that case
set fire to the tent. There's always a tent.

And punch Hugh Grant.
(I helped save b3ta! Jay, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:38, archived)
# I don't need any reasons to punch Hugh Grant
He just deserves it. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:21, archived)
# Turn up to the ceremony/reception
in a T-Shirt that says "I SHAGGED YOUR WIFE"
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:39, archived)
# simple solutions
are always the best.
(I helped save b3ta! Alfie, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:56, archived)
# classy
.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:22, archived)
# Oh shit
The woman I'm about to marry left this other dude for me.

>
Do I know you?!?
(I helped save b3ta! itwontbeeasy, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:42, archived)
# Very unlikely
He would be far too "mature" and "better looking" to post on this board, oh and rich as well! :)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:26, archived)
# In THAT case,
why not get some models to mug the bidesmaids and steal their dresses, so that in all the photos the bridesmaids are much prettier than her?

Or if she has tiny bridesmaids, feed them tons of chocolate so they vom on her dress in the middle of the ceremony (apparently this happened at a wedding someone here went to)

Or get the vicar pissed in advance.

Or quietly let the groom's mum know what the bride's mum said about her hat/husband/drink problem.

Or sit at the back and laugh bitterly and loudly all the way through the service.

...that sort of thing?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:42, archived)
# leave copies
of any embarassing or *cough* private photos you might have on each of the tables at the reception.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:51, archived)
# Or harness the power of PotatoShop
and make some embarassing private photos to print out and leave on tables...
(I helped save b3ta! Ptortoise, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:03, archived)
# ooh.
those could be really embarassing. Good one.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:06, archived)
# BINGO!
That's the stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:52, archived)
# woo!
You could hire a Jester's outfit and run around the reception playing hilarious and dangerous "pranks" on the guests, and then loudly make a scene when you demand your payment from the groom.

You could stand up in the middle of the service, quietly make your way to behind the altar, and stand there having a wee.

You could take along a stereo and play "I Am The One and Only" by Chesney Hawkes over the top of the organ as she walks in. For added points, scream "remember this? this was OUR song!" as she passes you.

You could let down the tyres on the wedding car. Or poison the horses if she's coming in a carriage.

This is fun. I like this game.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:05, archived)
# hmmm
you have far too many good ideas for this! The third one down is bloody hillarious though. Something I would expect to see in a TV comedy sketch show.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:09, archived)
# Set your mobile phone to its loudest ring,
then get someone to ring you during the middle of the ceremony. Stand up and say "(her name) that was the clinic. Your syphilis should have cleared up by the weekend"
(SnoopySnoopyDoggDogg, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:18, archived)
# thank you!
I'm getting married next year so the fear of what might go wrong is high in my mind.

Although Chesney has never been "our song" for any relationships I've ever had.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:20, archived)
# in that case you know your just not in the "one" relationship thats ment to be
when chesney plays, you know that god ment it to be.
its in the bible and all, honest...
(MiNK, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:24, archived)
# It's not too late
to change that. Tomsk may need a little persuading, perhaps.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:25, archived)
# you could
have a shit in her handbag....
(I helped save b3ta! Mrfishfinger .com, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:47, archived)
# arrange the little figures
on top of the cake in a suggestive pose.
shag her mum and/or dad.
(SnoopySnoopyDoggDogg, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:53, archived)
# Have fivesome
with bride's mother, mother-in-law and bridesmaids.
(Amerella, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:56, archived)
# Wedding gift - well wrapped
And then an empty glass jar. Inscribed with "this is my life now, bitch, empty."

or what have you.
(I helped save b3ta! d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:01, archived)
# Turn up at the Church
with a page 3 stunna
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Nick Riviera, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:38, archived)
# Don't
as simple as that.
(I helped save b3ta! raw-edge, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 11:42, archived)
# Buy about 20 of
these and secrete them around the venue under people's seats
(I helped save b3ta! Ptortoise, Thu 22 Aug 2002, 12:18, archived)