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[challenge entry] it really is a load of cock

From the The Nanny State challenge. See all 368 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:49, archived)
# TJ: HELP!
My RoboCock was on the popular page of the last compo, but i edited it and now its no longer in the compo!
www.b3ta.com/board/6192714
I can't put it back in there cos the option isn't in the drop-down :¬(

Any ideas anyone?

(I helped save b3ta! P3te "the Meat", Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:50, archived)
# tough
/helpful blog
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:51, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:01, archived)
# Robocock
is a vibrator from Ann Summers. It's not chrome though, just chromy plastic. I was annoyed.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:52, archived)
# I must resist...
(I helped save b3ta! Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:55, archived)
# Buying a robocock?
You should, they're a waste of bloody money.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:55, archived)
# why, do they wear out quickly?
:o
(I helped save b3ta! Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:57, archived)
# Hmmm
Sort of. They eat batteries, and they don't bimble across tables quick enough.

(good way to test how fast/vibraty a vibrator is- how quickly it travels and falls off the edge of a table)
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:58, archived)
# Yay for vibe racing!
\o/
(I helped save b3ta! Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)
# \o/ joins in yaying
(I helped save b3ta! Attila the Bun is not in a right cunt of a mood, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)
# Is it not powered by ingesting a paste containing only the basic nutrients it needs
that tastes a bit like baby food?
(I helped save b3ta! P3te "the Meat", Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)
# you'd think
nothing that cool I'm afraid.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)
# stop shoving it up yer arse!
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)
# why, do you want a go?
*shares*
(I helped save b3ta! Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:04, archived)
# blow up a plane
in protest
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:52, archived)
# with snakes!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:53, archived)
# exploding snakes!
why didn't I think of it?
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:53, archived)
# *pens the sequel already*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:54, archived)
# don't write too quickly
I'm still writing the prequel, Snake Eggs on a Plane.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:56, archived)
# Place an advert
in all the national newspapers asking everyone to click 'I like this!' again?
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:54, archived)
# I had an idea for a utopian society
but my philosophy was flawed.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:55, archived)
# serves you right for editing!!
ha ha ha ha ha!!

/told you so blog
(I helped save b3ta! Ironman tetsuo Back once again with the renegade mastah!, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:55, archived)
# but but but
it didnt work right on the compo page - he was cut in half!
(I helped save b3ta! P3te "the Meat", Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:58, archived)
# if it hasn't been front paged by now it never will
make something new


/the end
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:06, archived)
# I didnt want on the front page
just back in the compo
(I helped save b3ta! P3te "the Meat", Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:26, archived)
# but but but
that was the version people clicked for.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:15, archived)
# No it wasnt
It looks better here on the main board cos it isnt cut in half here. On the compo board the hat floats above the icon.
Ok i'll shut up now :¬(
(I helped save b3ta! P3te "the Meat", Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:28, archived)
# i didn't manage to enter mine

I am therefore I pearoast
(I helped save b3ta! Your watch is BACK, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:58, archived)
# ha ha!!
nice :)
(I helped save b3ta! Ironman tetsuo Back once again with the renegade mastah!, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)
# well
I hadn't seen it

and I like it

so I just clicked
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)
# arf!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:50, archived)
# YaY!
this gets the Jessie approval, looong time
(I helped save b3ta! Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:54, archived)
# Wait, before I buy it...
Does this mean all the women I see will have a jizzing magenta cock?

I think I'll wait for the second generation with an on/off switch for the magenta cockery.
(I helped save b3ta! Solidhart needs to sleep badly, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:55, archived)
# no, just the men, or people holding hoses
It has a sexy lady override matrix
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:56, archived)
# Cor, you think of everything!
You are my new Steve Jobs.
(I helped save b3ta! Solidhart needs to sleep badly, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:58, archived)
# It's true!!
Two facts I have found out:
1) You cannot get the police to prosecute based on cctv footage. If you deny it was you, and they have no other evidence, they don't bother.

2) Sometimes objects on film appear bigger than in real life.
(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:54, archived)
# is that why you film yourself in bed?
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:57, archived)
# your name makes me want to watch pulp fiction
that's a good thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:02, archived)
[challenge entry] People who live in or have been to Norwich may know what I mean...
(Paddy O'Dawes, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:54, archived)
# I
DISLIKE emo's. very much.
(Nothingtoseehere, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:57, archived)
# Wooo we used to go there many a time
We live in dereham, and we decided to follow one our mates in the car. Turns out he was returning a book to the forum.

So we decided to go "stealth" which involved leaning out the passenger window whilst conducting along to very loud wagner (appocolipse now). We also pointed at random objects shouting the name.

then when we got into the forums car park. all of us bar thedriver disembarked at 20 mph, using the tuck and roll technique (and yes it does hurt if you dont do aikido and arnt used to dodging swords with breakfalls)

then we proceeded to be out witted by the automatic doors. we stood there looking scared an making funny noises till some one took pity on us and lead us through.

(KaiserPro captain arse rape, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:31, archived)
# Is that the Sainsburies centre?
My brother did the best part of his degree in there ... well, there and the pub.
I used to love that place, best cafe for a hang over, so quiet and tranquil.

EDIT: oh ... no it's not ... sorry ... i've only seen it when wankered .. where is that?
(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:57, archived)
# its
the library by the market! the old one burnt down - even tho the firestation is next door and they could have done a wee out the window to put it out.
(I helped save b3ta! biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:03, archived)
# the chief fire officer said at the scene - and i quote
"we thought we had more time on our side, as books don't burn"..

i suppose i can see his point, with paper being condensed as much as it would be in a book, but even so....
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:05, archived)
#
plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:13, archived)
# Well when I lived in N'arch
they were still standing in fields pointing at the sun shouting "Whaaat the hell's thaaa?"

There are some nice locals, a little confusing tho. One guy took me to his house to meet all his relatives. He said "Meet moi aunt, sister, mum, wife and cousin." but there was only a lady and the german sheperd in the room. (and he was indicating towards the dog)
(I helped save b3ta! Far Out Slave last ate at, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:57, archived)
# ha ha ha ha, bang on!
the forum, what a great place it is...

you from norwich then? if so, WHY haven't you signed up for the norwich bash - you an emo or something ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:57, archived)
# haha
emos are great fun
(I helped save b3ta! Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 11:59, archived)
# is that the castle mall?
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:00, archived)
# nope, it's the forum centre
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:00, archived)
# No, it's far away
sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:06, archived)
# *spangs*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:08, archived)
# as above
and anyway banning them from the Forum will only push them down onto the Haymarket and that's chav territory being next to Macky Ds and TopShop
(I helped save b3ta! Not just a hatstand inflamed in the membrane inflamed in the brain, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:28, archived)
# it'll be like the end battle in lord of the rings...
with a bit of luck, they'll wipe each other out
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:31, archived)
# trouble is we will get the battle wounded
parked up outside mine refuelling on KFC
(I helped save b3ta! Not just a hatstand inflamed in the membrane inflamed in the brain, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:38, archived)
# /
that should make for good viewing
(Paddy O'Dawes, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:32, archived)
# Strictly
No people whinging about losing their jobs from Jarrolds. Get another one.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 12:45, archived)
# i haven't lived in norwich since about 1990...
Has Jarrolds gone??
(albatross! aka Rameses Niblick III Kerplunk kerplunk - whoops, where's my thribble?, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 15:23, archived)
# HAHA!
You bloody ledgend!

I once made a fake-emo-myspace-page it said - 'If you want to meet me, I'll be the one outside the forum with stripey socks and dyed black hair' :D
(jaffafairy, Thu 10 Aug 2006, 15:46, archived)