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must have been done...

& i dont care

From the If Ads Told The Truth challenge. See all 454 entries (closed)

(

op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:10, archived)

KY Jelly is shit.

Lube shouldn't be sticky.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:10, archived)

a good point

well put.
i hear astro glide is good

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:11, archived)

Not bad at all.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:12, archived)

Bah, Vaseline works

and you can pretend to have a good excuse for owning it when relatives come over and decide to rifle through your bathroom

(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:13, archived)

Doesn't it eat latex?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:20, archived)

any oil based lubes do

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:22, archived)

yep

and I find it still too sticky. It's okay for anal.

(

John Barrowman's laminated buttocks, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:23, archived)

Saliva is best.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:27, archived)

my saliva is not slidy enough

maybe I am an alien

(

John Barrowman's laminated buttocks, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:31, archived)

I think it's a definite possibility.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:32, archived)

hock up a green phlegm gem and mix that in

(waxdart hello., Tue 10 Apr 2007, 18:29, archived)

Well I only really use it for things that don't carry a pregnancy risk

So I'm fine. I'm safe on the STDs front too.

(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:26, archived)

Why do you need an excuse?

It's lube - for fucking. Need to know anything else, Grandma?

(

Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:39, archived)

*mental hug*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:42, archived)

WD-40, every time

certainly gets them started...

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:14, archived)

ah but

it doesn't damage or rip condoms!!!

(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:11, archived)

Neither does good lube!

you're thinking of crocodiles.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:15, archived)

Ahahhahahaha!

Lubes and Crocs should not be confused!

(

Sunburnt Tiger Herbie goes Piranhas!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:18, archived)

durex do a lube

but i've not tried it myself, it's a warming cinnoman so they say.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:11, archived)

I've an organic nettle one that I was considering trying tonight

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:12, archived)

I tend to go for the cheese 'n' onion.

(

Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:14, archived)

Good plan

I really don't recommend the salt and vinegar.

(Gyrate AHHHHHH! Saviour of the Universe!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:25, archived)

*winces*

(

Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:27, archived)

Plus if you get the Walkers one

it's the wrong colour

(Gyrate AHHHHHH! Saviour of the Universe!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:29, archived)

Exactly,

How do you know which flavour they are? HOW DO YOU KNOW?

(

monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:37, archived)

*urticates*

(

Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:14, archived)

thrash you tackle with real nettles before you use it.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:15, archived)

Then slap on some new "natures vaseline" now with exfoliating sand granules

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:17, archived)

that sounds like a winning product in my book

i'm willing to give you the full £50,000 but for a 25% stake in the company.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:20, archived)

Sounds like we've got a deal

(

HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:22, archived)

I haven't tried the warming one.

The normal one's alright though.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:15, archived)

warming is ace

mint is less good if you get it on any especially sensitive areas.

(

John Barrowman's laminated buttocks, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:24, archived)

the warming one didn't seem to do anything

I found the tingly mint is quite good though!

(

thistle, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:26, archived)

you must have genitals of STEEL

can I kick you in them?

(

John Barrowman's laminated buttocks, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:27, archived)

*builds model ship*

(

monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:11, archived)

i would hope not

(

op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:12, archived)

*doesn't see 'shit' on the list of ingredients*

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:12, archived)

Well they're lying.

It's at least half excrement.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:16, archived)

margarine works for me

(pdjpdj, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:20, archived)

Wet wanking?

Nice phrase - new on me.

(

Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:12, archived)

um...

round these parts (heh heh) 'chuff' and 'fanny' are the same thing. Surely "dry fannies, bum sex & wet wanking"?

P.s. Woo to the idea and execution though, and it made me do a chortle-laugh-snort type thing.

P.s. I recommend Anne Summers' Slide'n'Ride - works a treat and is odorless and pleasant.

(

Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:15, archived)

Pffft!

*goes for a wet wank*
I've only got Lynx shower gel.

(

Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:16, archived)

DO NOT

let that get into your japs eye!

it
fucking
burns

ahem...or so i've heard

(

Aphex The Mink Snackless, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:18, archived)

I plan on using it to wank...

not throw into the faces of pretty Asian ladies :P

(

Shuya Nanahara Sayonara, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:19, archived)

Why not do both?

Bukkake!

(Gyrate AHHHHHH! Saviour of the Universe!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:31, archived)

hahaha

(

monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:18, archived)

a decent gob full of spit has always worked for me

although eating ginger nut biscuits beforehand is not a good idea.

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:23, archived)

i don't think eating chili

is a good idea either

(

the.jokl @jonksson, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:26, archived)

that's something i've always wondered about

having never had the pleasure of intimacy with a
regular curry or chilli consumer. i also wonder about the effect of the said spices on lady bits.

(

god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:30, archived)

all you need to know

is that it stings like fuck, and is not a pleasant experience

(

the.jokl @jonksson, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:35, archived)

^this

Mine wont let me near if I've been chopping chillies.

(

Carlossus, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 19:11, archived)

KY makes me think of old lady fannies :(

ID lube is the way forward.

(

John Barrowman's laminated buttocks, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:25, archived)

oh and listerine should be kept WELL away

unless you want to pull a weird anime >.< face all day

(

John Barrowman's laminated buttocks, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:26, archived)

ID!

The bottle's colour scheme forced me to believe it was lemon and lime flavour.

The git.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:33, archived)

haha

(danecobain I have a new sig!, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 17:41, archived)