b3ta.com board

Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 714735 (Thread)

Right...

I've an interview on Tuesday for a new job. I've not been to an interview in quite some time so any tips on how to conduct oneself?

I guess kneeling down and begging is not done these days...

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:49, archived)

Don't

curl one out on the interviewer's desk... don't guff, be nice, give them £10.. erm, works for me....

edit: slight jack: I need a table of MP3 sizes, compression ratios, all that kinda shit, any suggestions? and yes, I've tried www.findityourfuckingself.com

(

4838 Let the man go through, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:50, archived)

Not hard.

www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&q=mp3+compression+ratios+128+64+96

www.iis.fraunhofer.de/amm/gallery/

(

itwontbeeasy, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:57, archived)

Cheers

I did try google and the Fraunhofer site but they both came back a bit useless - I guess the lesson is I should have looked a little harder.... :)

(

4838 Let the man go through, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:02, archived)

Go naked.

(

sick_boy, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:50, archived)

No,

go naked except for a comedy tie.

(

Wifey, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:52, archived)

the one that looks like a fish

is most effective.

(

Dr Drink, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:56, archived)

I did that once

But they guy said, "I can cleary see you're nuts... you've not got the job."

(

Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:52, archived)

hahahahahahh

Brilliant!

(

sick_boy, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:54, archived)

for once..

the anal apostrophe police points out:

I can clearly see your nuts..

no apostrophe..

(radja, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:05, archived)

It's a joke

you cockbadger

(_, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:08, archived)

oh sure,

hack on the silly dutchman..just what I needed.

(radja, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:10, archived)

Hahaha

I was awaiting the anal police. thanks for coming!

(

Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:14, archived)

Hey now!

It was a play on words:
I can see you're nuts (because he's naked at a job interview)
I can see your nuts (because he's naked and can see his bollox).

See? No picking on anybody, anybody!

(Amerella, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:17, archived)

What?

The sympathy vote?

It in Aberdeen so I don't think I'll be able to make a good impression...

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:58, archived)

My friends husband

has an interview in Aberdeen next week. He's also got one in Bohn for a job in Berlin. What a choice..

(

Wifey, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:01, archived)

This one may mean time in Paris

then north west Africa. Were theres a war on. Yay.

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:04, archived)

In Aberdeen?

My family live there and I used to, where is the interview?

(

sick_boy, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:21, archived)

Technip Coflexip

Out in Westhill.

I used to live in Aberdeen - Littlejohn Street near Marschal College. And I went to University there.

Christ, glutton for punishment, that's me

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:29, archived)

you could always try

weebl's bear trick.*

*I am actually going to do this on my last day because it is SO VERY cool. :)

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:52, archived)

What is

weebl's bear trick?

(

bob dinosaur, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:53, archived)

Ahahahaha!

You tie a number of teddy bears to a number of bits of string - then you tie the other end of each string to your belt and run into the room screaming "HELP HELP I'M BEING CHASED BY BEARS!"

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:55, archived)

oh that!

that's not weebls though, I've heard that before.

(

munkt0n, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:56, archived)

that's fantastic

I wanna do it too.. I might resign just so I can..

(

estuardo estuardo, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:56, archived)

where is the "trick" part?

(

Dr Drink, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:57, archived)

well

the bears aren't real.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:59, archived)

That is the funniest thing I've heard all week

I'm gonna do that next month, asuming I get offered a new job next week.

(

gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:57, archived)

great

I might try that with live kittens

(

Slim has found god. He was down the back of the sofa., Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:00, archived)

No good.

Live kittens can tell stuffed bears from real ones.

(

gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:02, archived)

Ahahahahaaaa...

Funny.

(

Sexy Picard 2000, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:19, archived)

what bear trick?

(

munkt0n, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:53, archived)

Pretend to be more confident than you are.

Shake their hands
Meet their gaze
Don't fidget
Comb your hair
No farting

(

gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:53, archived)

comb your hair?

during the interview, like the fonz?

(

munkt0n, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:54, archived)

eeeyyyyyy

sit on it

(

gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:54, archived)

I draw the line at offering sex

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:56, archived)

I offer sex at the drawing of a line

(

thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:21, archived)

____________________________________

he-loooo...

(martian, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:30, archived)

You don't work in a CAD office do you

ack. Think of the mess.

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:31, archived)

ha!

Keep a tissue in each pocket to soak up sweat - for a nice dry handshake.

Make sure you have a piss first.

Have a glass of water in the interview so you don't dry up - but don't choke!

(

brainstuff can eat a whole shredded wheat, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:57, archived)

Take a

coffee percolator with you, the smell will clinch the deal...oh no that's seling a house.

(Murun Buchstansangur's hairpiece, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:02, archived)

Hah

Cheeky repost time!

It's the frondz

(

Baz Fuck off, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:03, archived)

eat lots of mints

and breathe in their faces

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:55, archived)

hahaha

cool

(

aaarrgghh...wasps! !spsaw...hhggrraaa, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:03, archived)

Positive.

Always give a positive reason for leaving and a reason for lookig at that particular job/company. Ambitious, but not over ambitious.
Give examples of particular project you've been responsible for from start to finsh and those that haven't quite worked with valid reasons why.

(

Banana, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:56, archived)

Wear a

short skirt.

(Amerella, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 10:58, archived)

lean forward a lot

and giggle.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:00, archived)

Man boobs

don't have the same effect unless, of course, you want them to barf

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:02, archived)

Just press your elbows together.

Trust me, it'll work.

(Amerella, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:11, archived)

Ah,

Reason for leaving work: redundancy
Reason for needing work: lack of money, despiration, addiction to B3TA

What gets my goat is that I'm well qualified, good at what I do and have risen to upper management. Now "they" only want up and comers so what happens to all us experienced chaps? Arse poo

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:01, archived)

Cripes

Are you me ?

(

wonko the sane, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:04, archived)

Its shite don't you think

32 and already over the hill.

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:09, archived)

Having been through a few

and having a biggie this afternoon ....

Be yourself and be honest. If your personality doesn't fit, you won't be happy there anyway.

(

wonko the sane, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:03, archived)

Damn right

Good luck old bean

(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 11:05, archived)