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[challenge entry] Mmmmmm... meat...


From the Celebrity Mutants challenge. See all 450 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:03, archived)
# MMM, LOVELY MEAT!
strangely arousing
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:04, archived)
# there's nothing i'd like better then to roll naked with her on some bloody carcusses
and then spunk on her tits.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:08, archived)
# You just know she doesn't mind "getting her hands dirty"...
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:09, archived)
# I'm not really a fan
but I would really like a bloody, meaty gobble off her

or anyone else
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# I can see the reviews now
"She'll suck you off with a mouthful of raw guts"
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:14, archived)
# with bits of bone it it to create some exciting speed bumps
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:15, archived)
# Ooh, the thrill!
Actually, following Ad7's post below, I now want a visceral titwank instead.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# waaaay!
I aim to please
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)
# whereas
I'll aim at her face...
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)
# mucky pup
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)
# best of all the titwanks
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)
# Nigella's not bad either
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:10, archived)
# True
www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/ate0127l.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:20, archived)
# is it just me
Or does she look a bit like Tia Carrera here?
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)
# Its you
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:25, archived)
# Can't be
I look nothing like Tia Carrera.
not even when I wear high heels n pull me eyebrows up
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)
# you look like Tia Carrera
whoever he is.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)
# Waynes World's girlfriend
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)
# HE?
Get yoiur vission adjusted
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)
# No he doesn't
www.austinchronicle.com/binary/d7fb/music_phases-39504.jpeg
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)
# He bloody does
www.imdb.com/media/rm2480379392/nm0000119
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)
# Are yea...

EDIT: www.b3ta.com/board/8375405
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# told you so
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)
# I've been wanting to see Nigella handling one eyed meat for some time
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:05, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)
# Hahaha
I've only just noticed the "and Ottakers".
*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:08, archived)
# ottakars does not exist any more
sadly
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:11, archived)
# yer
the one in Slough is Waterstone's now

as if people in Slough can read anything but toilet paper
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:13, archived)
# Hah, you reminded me of using you in an argument a few days ago.
Only to point out that I knew someone who lived in Slough who didn't struggle to spell their own name.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)
# hahaha
I have a massively troublesome name
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:20, archived)
# I really would love to know what it is
you've sufficiently piqued my interest.

If you're ever feeling brave, gaz it to me. I like names.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)
# you wouldn't like mine
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)
# Is it Margaret Thatcher?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:23, archived)
# I wouldn't mind that
mine lead me to years of bullying at school.
only inlater years did I come to relish it as a source for friends to give me nick names.

always makes me think of Jenifer saundes on the Young ones,
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:28, archived)
# Mine rhymes with gay
and shares a first letter with the word fat.


To 9 year olds that's GOLD, that is.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)
# Oh my first name is ok
nothing wrong with my first names.
Not like Mrs Vinegar Strokes
Middle names Nancy Maud (Hers not mine)
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# Ouch, that's a bit harsh.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)
# Nancy is just about bearable (I'd do anyfing for you dear...)
But Maud!
by all the saints and angels why Maud
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)
# Nancy is good
but Maud is.... well, it's terrible. Sorry to your lady and all that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)
# I try to comfort her
By making sure everyone knows...tehe
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)
# My Grandmother
is Mildred Maud. Top that!
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)
# Up until the 4th of Feb this year
I had 6 grandparents as my mum's parents split and remarried.


George and Judith
Alan and Sheila
Alan and Sheila.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)
# No
You're just visiting some of them twice as much as the others.
I have no grandparents
Or parents
Or friends
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)
# I got that too, which leaves me rather resentful about my names.
Despite the fact they are quite clearly brilliant, although crap for being anonymous due to the rarity.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)
# Adnrew is too difficult to spell?

*FUCKSOCKS*
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:28, archived)
# hahaha
yes
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)
# I could never get the hang of spelling Michaeal
I know there's an a in it somewhere so I stick it in any where I fancy it
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)
# The correct spelling is:
Maiacahaeal
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)
# Thanks
Waoababablaya a balaoakaea
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)
# Ours is a Waterstones now
But its even WORSE than Ottakers.

I honestly dont know how bookshops like that are still in business what with this new fangled interweb business
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)
# ah I dunno, I love bookshops
it's the smell of books that does it for me

cos that's the smell of KNOWLEDGE


and books about Hitler
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)
# Little bookshops
like in Black Books.

The smell of those is DIVINE. Old books smell better than new books. My copy of LOTR, for example. Ohhhhhh it smells wonderful.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:24, archived)
# ^this^
I'm talking about the Goliath Books of this world.
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:24, archived)
# Hehe..heheh... it's
funky.


*stubs cigarette into hand* oooooh, sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:25, archived)
# I have a top tip for you if you ever visit Edinburgh.
Find the Kings Building (the University of Edinburgh Science campus) and go to the Jospeh Black building (Chemistry). On teh second floor there is a small chemistry library full of books dating back to god only knows when. It has a smell which only a few very sexy things surpas. They've either had a small fire in there or you used to be able to smoke or something - the leather, the old books, the faint sweet smell of pipe smoke...

*groans*
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# Oh fuck don't talk dirty.
That sounds wonderful. I bought my best mate (the one in the post below) a copy of a book that was 100 years old on her birthday and is about a girl who spells her name in the same way that she does (odd spelling of fairly not odd name) - it smells like heaven. Pure unadulterated heaven.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)
# meet me in the library in 15 minutes -
don't bother with clothes, they'll only get in the way.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)
# See you there!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)
# yer
the Oxfam bookshop in Windsor is great - plus they sell MONEY
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)
# Do they?!
I'd love a pound note. If they have any, can you tell me how much they are?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)
# have you not got a pound note?
I probably have a spare one somewhere
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)
# Noooo, should I?
When did they go out of circulation?

I'd like a halfpenny as well, because they went out of being legal tender in the year I was born. I must shop for these things.

Don't you give me your spares, you might need them! Oh you lovely kitty though.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:38, archived)
# Scotland
more reasons to come to Scotlans.

pound notes are here.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)
# Oh fuck.
Pound notes, Scottish accents, men in occasional kilts....


Fucking hell, when I die, if I've been a really good girl I might end up in Scotland.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)
# I have a friend who works for visitscotland
I'm sending him this post

:)
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:43, archived)
# It's a good thing I live so far away.
I have to talk to a lot of people from Uddingston in my work and it doesn't make life any easier when some great big Glaswegian chap is growling something down the phone at me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:45, archived)
# Waterstones is owner by HMV
and I agree - both business models are untennable in a future where people never leave the safe glow of their monitor.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)
# I love a good shopping trip.
Had one recently in Oxford, it was LOVELY. Just me and my best mate being girls and trolling around, absolutely wonderful.

To be fair, spending time with her makes my heart swell anyway as I love her so much, but it just was brilliant fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:31, archived)
# sounds great
it does kind of piss me off the way everywhere is turning into Main Street UK, and Quirky off main street UK... Boutique Street UK
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)
# I like side streets.
The best shops are on side streets.


Go to Thame actually, very few chain stores in Thame.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)
# FUCKING LOVELY MEAT
and also what Waspy said

*goes to lav*
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)
# *Unexpected Horse
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:07, archived)
# Hahahahaha
That's ace!


Spoonerisms Challenge Entry
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:09, archived)
# Sock cooker!
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:18, archived)
# FWOAR
needs more baps and suggestive hand gestures
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:15, archived)
# haha still love that
my missus got her new cookbook, sadly she's cut down on the gratuitous 'look at my tits' shots and actually focussed on the cooking a bit more
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)
# :(
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# She's a bitch
But still prettier than her dad
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)
# I didn't know you knew finite's missus
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:23, archived)
# haha
he's not wrong either :D
(I helped save b3ta! Finite "Aardvark sorted out my shit!" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# Hahaha!


(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)
# :D
gleesome
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:26, archived)
# There aren't many women I'd punch people in order to get to
but Nige is definitely one. I'd....worship her.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)
# its the posh that does it for me
stick a posh accent on any woman and her attractiveness goes up ten-fold!
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)
# *keeps mouth firmly shut, then*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# hah
just do some crosswords whilst looking over the rims of your glasses then, that'll do me ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)
# 3 across: Manwowler (anag.)
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:35, archived)
# I don't sound posh to some
just to others. I don't know, I don't sound it to me. I think it depends on what I'm doing.

I'm always looking over my glasses, they fall down my nose.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:35, archived)
# Then you need a bigger nose!
Women with glasses... *sigh*
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)
# HAHAHA bollocks do I
It's taking over my face as it is.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)
# oh,
well in that case get Mr. Wow to pull your ears further back on your head.
OR get a monocle!
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:42, archived)
# I'd have to have one for each eye
as I'm shit without my glasses.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)
# here is an idea:
get TWO monocles, join them together with some sort of wire, attach hooks on either side

PROFIT
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)
# any accent will do
Except essex
"allo, ahm frorm Romfd aint Ah, Shaz where's me bleeding voka?"

Eugh
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)
# I've never even been there.
Nope, tell a lie, I went to Waltham Abbey once.

Hang on, is that still Herts?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)
# Torienko
I just wanna understanto what you saido?
(yamoo, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:32, archived)
# wow that's amazing
she cooked her own vagina
(I helped save b3ta! Frumbert has no sig, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:48, archived)