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# Cross your legs, it's a long flight...


De-RIS Ryan air to charge £1 to use toilet on all flights.
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:00, archived)
# Hahaha I just read that
Brilliant!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:01, archived)
# Ha ha!
I hope she wasn't left rancourous.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:03, archived)
# Don't be so beastly!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:24, archived)
# Michael O'Leary is a bloody tinker
"... well, people pay for the flight across, but if you don't want to sit on the floor it's an extra £25 for a seat... and also the ticket is for YOU, but not your clothes so that's extra... also if you have done a really big poo into a bag before you get on the flight, that's extra..."
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:03, archived)
# Shhh!
Stop giving them ideas!
(I helped save b3ta! Joliet, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:05, archived)
# hmmmm
maybe he'd give me a job...

I retract that thing I said about him being a tinker... he's a genius entrepreneurs of the stature of ... erm... Siranlun
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# We're going down, if you reach below your seat you'll find a lifejacket.
No, not you sir, you didn't pay the £5 lifejacket fee. Just put your seatbelt on and pray. Oh, no seatbelt? £3 too much, was it?
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:09, archived)
# Pfffft
"Those of you who haven't paid for seats just sort of huddle together at the back of the plane"
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:11, archived)
# "alternatively you might like to purchase some hay
from our inflight catalogue..."
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:17, archived)
# ...which you'll have to purchase first for £5.99 to see what's in it
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:19, archived)
# "... and it's printed in such a way as to be unreadable
without spending a further £10 on these special lenses ... which go very nicely in our £8 frames..."
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:22, archived)
# now if you'll all have a whipround
we'll see if we can lure a pilot away from the airport bar
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:23, archived)
# and for only a further £15
you can pay to have the air steward stop teabagging you in the face... or not :)
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:26, archived)
# good work
I'd like to see how they'll enforce that, will they let you piss yourself if you can't pay?
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:03, archived)
# You could piss in a sick-bag?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:04, archived)
# Piss in a cup?
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:06, archived)
# pffft
I'm on my holidays, not at home
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# piss into a champagne glass then
you flash cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# access to a toilet is a basic human right
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:06, archived)
# Sitting in a giant metal bird however, isnt
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# I can think of nothing heavier than an airplane
I can think of no greater conglomerate of steel and metal
I can think of nothing less likely to fly
There are no wings more weighted
I too have felt a heaviness
The stare of man guessing at my being
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:08, archived)
# Ha ha ha, beautiful.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:03, archived)
# Ha, the last thing I read before clicking b3ta was an post on this by Gulliver.
Top stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:04, archived)
# they'll stop after the start finding bottles of piss under the seats
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:04, archived)
# That is shocking!
I do like the idea of not checking in though. I haven't queued for a flight in an age and there is no need for it.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:04, archived)
# pfft!
a pound! won't this make people piss in their seats, just on principle?

also: Danny Wallace recently took this photo

[CFB]
of a mannequin dressed in the latest Topman fashions.

Are they taking the piss?
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:05, archived)
# Haha, I think judging by the sunglasses, that is clothing
for blind people who dress themselves.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# And that there kids,
is why "fashion" is moronic :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# hey
my mum thinks i'm cool!
(I helped save b3ta! herd of chickens First part only £1.99 and comes with a free, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:08, archived)
# No she doesn't.
Even jesus doesn't love you ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:11, archived)
# Man, how much of a cunt would you have to be?
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:13, archived)
# Hahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! elephant rider property shark sighted!, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:06, archived)
# Ryanair are doing an excellent job of whittling away customer goodwill.
I now only use them if I absolutely have to, even if they are the cheapest, I'd rather pay £30 more just so I am not lining Michael O'Leery's pocket.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:06, archived)
# haha
giant turd monster!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:06, archived)
# Hahahahaha!
*Cerlick*
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# Hahahaha
Dont ryanair only fly europe tho?

So as long as you dont drink loads you wont need to go as the longest flight will be, what, 4/5 hours or so?
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# Yeah, but it's not unknown for someone have a coffee because they are on a 7am flight
and then be kept waiting 45 minutes on the runway for a flight that then takes 90 minutes. I can guarantee I'll be pissing in those circumstances.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gear the gay-maker, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:09, archived)
# Piss on the person next to you then :D
Then Ryanair will wonder why their planes stink of piss and then take the coin slot off the door :D
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:10, archived)
# Not me.
I flew back from Suisse on Ryanair and had 3 wees. However, that was due to a copious amount of boozing :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:09, archived)
# Well if you knew you'd have to pay a pound for the toilet you wouldnt booze so much
Either that or spend the money you spent on booze on a more expensive flight with BA or virgin or someone like that
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:12, archived)
# Also: it's only a quid.
It costs me 30p to have a piss at London Euston and I don't get to see Madrid when I've finished doing it.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:15, archived)
# Oh I just go to a macdonalds at train stations that you have to pay at,
charing x and st pancras are the only ones I use and pancras has free toilets :D

(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:17, archived)
# Ah, but at 1:30am you either stump up 30p or piss yourself.
Which I've actually seen someone do once. It was tragic, really.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:20, archived)
# To be honest with you,
i don't see the point of using anyone but the no frills for short haul. However, when I went to New York, I am damn glad I flew business class on Virgin. I miss work :(
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:16, archived)
# I flew gatwick to glasgow on easyjet
That was the last time I remember using a plane
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:18, archived)
# They'll be flying to the US soon. Plans are afoot for RyanAtlantic.
Naturally flying to Rhode Island and calling it New York City.
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:10, archived)
# Who cares?
Rhode Island is nicer than New York anyway ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:11, archived)
# I don't see a problem here
People want to pay tuppence to fly abroad they should expect a few extras to additional cost

And VERY woo pic too!
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, archived)
# Fuck it, I'm on the Henry bandwagon
and if this hasn't been done I'll eat my fucksock
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:08, archived)
# unbelievable

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:09, archived)
# and yet also
believable.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:11, archived)
# Haha
What a helpful chap
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:16, archived)