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I'm pretty sure

there has been something like this before on here.
http://www.smellyshit.com/autoinsulter.html

(djmothra, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:56, archived)

oooh... look at this girls hands

http://members.aol.com/tradoe/moregobi.htm

arn't they big?

(gobi, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:53, archived)

That's a bloke

look at the hairy hands on the second pic.
I rest my case

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:55, archived)

Her hands are normal sized

the rest of her is midget

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:55, archived)

lateral thinking

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:57, archived)

She is

the anti-beadle

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:59, archived)

1/Beadle

Inverse Beadle

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:11, archived)

whens

this weeks newsletter coming out??

(

raw-edge, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:50, archived)

this

week

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:51, archived)

i deserved that!

(

raw-edge, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:55, archived)

usually friday

afternoon, sorry for the sarcasm

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:56, archived)

I knew it was this afternoon

but its nearlly five and has normally arrived by now so just wondered if all was well in its progress

(

raw-edge, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:59, archived)

I stayed up boozing last night

so it's late. Joel is just proofing it for me now.

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:01, archived)

prawn orgy

http://www.woolworths.com.au/dietinfo/images/seafood/prawns.jpg

(although one does look rather left out)

(editone, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:49, archived)

Thats

the fluffer - it's done it's job

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:51, archived)

Laurel and Hardy

Someone just sent me this.

Don't you just love them?

(

Watty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:47, archived)

id rather throw bricks at them

half bricks that is, they're not even worth full ones

(

DaWolfey, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:50, archived)

boo hiss

I really like them.

Even allowing for the passage of time, their early
Hal Roach shorts are works of genius.

My two kids usually end up rolling on the floor laughing!

Bring them back to TV that's what I say!

(

Watty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:52, archived)

Yeh....

It had "It's Friday" on the top. I thought chainsaws when I saw it. Then I saw a little black X, I clicked it and it all got so much better....

(

Si W, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:54, archived)

they're

cunts

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:56, archived)

dont get me wrong

i really like comedy of that era, charlie chaplin et al
but just those two

i dont like em

(

DaWolfey, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:56, archived)

I like

Chaplin too - but he was more 'cerebral'.

L&H at their best were gut-bustingly funny.

Mind you Buster Keaton was fab, too!

(

Watty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:58, archived)

indeed

i wonder why none of that stuff isn't on tv any more...
its a shame, i used to really enjoy watching them on a saturday afternoon

and i never did see the chaplin one where hes dressed as hitler

(

DaWolfey, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:00, archived)

I've not

seen that one either. But Modern Times etc were brilliant.

I picked up some Buster Keaton fully digitally remastered on DVD
(including his best Steam Boat Bill jnr - where the whole town blows
away building by building!) for a fiver!

I'm going home to watch it!

(

Watty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:03, archived)

more sharp edges too

for extra laceration capabilities.
comedy geniuses my feckin' arse.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:52, archived)

I love them

they were fab - and Stan Laurel was a genius. weirdly,Oliver Hardy had a very unhappy life

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:59, archived)

Woo

for your appreciation of Stan Laurel!

(

Watty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:04, archived)

dead now, so he probably

doesn't really care.
they were good, but did they write all their own songs? jokes? did they say fuck a lot? Did they do live at the london palladium?
Norman Wisdom. Now you're talking.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:06, archived)

Early days

when they were funny Stan Laurel wrote it all.

Once they left Hal Roach, as far as I know, they lost control and the films
were either less funny or not funny at all.

They did play the palladium as old men in the 1950s.

And - I love Norman Wisdom, too. Just bought the kids Early Bird when he is the
milkman in Mr Grimsdale's dairy and somebody gives the horse some apples
injected with hallucinogens - very funny.

(

Watty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:14, archived)

Actually

That animated dancing gif is bloody annoying after a while.

Quick, post some new stuff and push it off the board!

Sorry.........

(

Watty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:00, archived)

(firehazard, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:06, archived)

Yay

very good.

(

Watty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:14, archived)

Why would anyone want

that pair of cunts on their desktop?

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:24, archived)

Revenge

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:46, archived)

that is

super special.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:52, archived)

so is

that

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:53, archived)

a swear word to match the era.

who remembers other profanities of this period?

(mentalist, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:26, archived)

Wank stain.

(qwerty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:42, archived)

dill wad....

(

penrithtearooms, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:43, archived)

Bellend.

but I still use that.

(qwerty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:44, archived)

nice

did you ever use "Skill" after people realised it was an african bum disease?

(mentalist, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:51, archived)

and of course,

Spak and Flid. But we know better now to use those terms, don't we? :D

(qwerty, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:58, archived)

Cheg-nuts

(Triple Sub, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:09, archived)

joey

It was only about ten years later I found out what that was about

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:46, archived)

talking of joey...

old site, but genius nevertheless

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:58, archived)

Gay Lord

was a fave

(

six50, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:47, archived)

benny

(on the loose/tied to a tree/lampost

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:51, archived)

How about...

Benny?

(

penrithtearooms, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:54, archived)

We used to call people

timmies - after this Special Needs kid in our primary school. Luckily my first name is Tim so I had loads of fun with that. And now bloody South Park

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:57, archived)

Hmm

shit, shite, dynamite, fucking bloody hell I seem to remember fondly.

(

Wifey, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:55, archived)

flea

bag

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:59, archived)

I presume you all know this?

Brilliant

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:04, archived)

Bloody hell! It goes all the way through

(

weebl Mashed farts, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:25, archived)

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Oh my God - you have just taken the 'Kitten Mutilation Crown' from Lumpbucket.
Extraordinary in every way - there is tea all over my monitor and biscuit crumbs on my speakers

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:27, archived)

what he said

only without the biscuit.

(Amerella, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:27, archived)

Ditto

Bravo!

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:29, archived)

same

as
woo!

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:34, archived)

wow

praise indeed.

(

weebl Mashed farts, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:28, archived)

its true - that is

completely fantasic.

(

pep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:28, archived)

If I wasn't such a photoshop cripple..

I'd animate a fantastic Woo! Yay! with dancing Llamas to congratulate you...

(

penrithtearooms, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:32, archived)

here's a start ...

(

nyarlathotep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:58, archived)

You are warped

And thus a genius in my mind. Bril.

(

macca, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:34, archived)

shh

you're making me blush

(

weebl Mashed farts, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:45, archived)

woo

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:37, archived)

i can almost hear the knife cutting cleanly through the head

it makes a very quiet slurp type sound (not with the warbling noise - if it were spelt it would be "theoup")

(

DaWolfey, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:53, archived)

"Schhhhhlap"

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:58, archived)

hememenemenemenemenemer

Know woo it is yay?

(Rich-BRF, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:24, archived)

whilst...we are on the Rolf Harris subject...

anyone know why BBC didn't commision the Reeves and Mortimer series
"Animal Graveyard" that was on series 2 of "The Smell Of...."?
That was sheer entertainment...

(

penrithtearooms, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:31, archived)

Does Iain Baker from XFM

read this?

His website of the day always seems to have been here first.

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:22, archived)

yes

i think he does.

(

pep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:24, archived)

Well

its a regular celeb-fest here innit?

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:25, archived)

yes

indeed, im actually quite famous, can you guess who i am?

(mentalist, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:28, archived)

Mum?

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:29, archived)

are you me?

i am very famous.

(

pep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:29, archived)

are you

gary glitter?

(crazymum, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:30, archived)

nope

im TV's Norris McWhirter. Close though, i do have an unhealthy facination with childrens games.

(mentalist, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:31, archived)

I have

always loved you and your fantastic rabid right-wing politics Mr McWhirter

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:32, archived)

thanks

most people say im a cunt

(mentalist, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:33, archived)

Err OK

You are a cunt
Far be it from me to argue with the masses

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:35, archived)

im not really

Norris McWhirter, or a cunt, and heres a rabbit shagging a chicken to prove it.

(mentalist, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:38, archived)

Ahh

Thats... er, lovely?

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:40, archived)

Nice

thanks for that

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:45, archived)

Bunny love !

That's warmed my heart that has.
Thank you.

(

Si W, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:53, archived)

Umm

Nicolae Ceausescu?

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:32, archived)

umm

even closer, we have both done terrible things to children. DICTATIONS WHAT YA' NEED!!!

(mentalist, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:35, archived)

Are you friends with

star-gazing monocled nazi funster Patrick Moore?

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:38, archived)

Oi IAN!

Ian, I think I might have dropped my keys in your kitchen last time I was robbing from your house. The missus is livid - any chance of dropping them round in a minicab?

Thanks,

Abyss

(the original woodsman, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:29, archived)

Ian's alright ...

... he was the first to contribute to the server fund. Although he didn't reply to my mail suggesting that we all come in and do b3ta radio for the afternoon.

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:49, archived)

Maybe its coz

you spelt his name wrong

(i'll get my pedantic coat)

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:51, archived)

Weird

I thought he'd love that - I wonder why he turned it down?

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:52, archived)

It's just a decoy

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:21, archived)

bugger

just looked down the board and realised that while I was away fishbear did it with much more finesse.
Oh well.

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:22, archived)

Sorry crab_bloke

But you know, great minds etc - yours is just a little red box at the moment -you should still post it

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:24, archived)

yes

I was just about to upload my (admittedly not as good) effort. You have superfast animation skills mr fishbear.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:26, archived)

Post it

Come on, don't be shy

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:28, archived)

see?

I did tell you.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:31, archived)

oops

I left some of the birds foot on his sleeve.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:34, archived)

Its OK

It scoops it up on the next pass

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:37, archived)

And hes a mine of useful book/film info

What a multitalented individual

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:28, archived)

Bless

You

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:31, archived)

Nice Head Action

and quality jumper repair - I think that is quality

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:33, archived)

Is it?

Hmm. It should work, but I've been having doubts about the server it's on lately. Does refresh bring it back?
Respec for the eye-eating chicks, by the way.

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:28, archived)

Thanks

It doesn't show. If you need a temp home for stuff you can have some of my BT Openwound space - let me know and I'll mail you the FTP stuff:-)

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:30, archived)

I can seeit.

class crabbie, and fishbear, woo!

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:31, archived)

Cheers

dear

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:36, archived)

I can see it

tho'

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:33, archived)

Must be me

dagnabbit

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:34, archived)

Aha

I see it - Wooooooo

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:37, archived)

my new

operator logo:

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:19, archived)

cool

how'd you do that?

(icedragon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:20, archived)

pixel by pixel

took fookin' ages.

well 25 mins or so.

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:27, archived)

I've done one....

But can't get the bugger up on a Nokia 8210.
Arse.
Any ideas ?

(

Si W, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:52, archived)

That

I like

(

chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:21, archived)

Does anybody know..

...of a good free POP3 based email provider (preferably one that doesn't stick ads into your email)?
The barstewards are doing away with netscapeonline in June...

(

TunaBoy should be old enough to know better by now, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:19, archived)

I use

anytimenow

so long as you have mail server names and you username and password you can access and send from it using that email address, comes with some webspace and WAP access for your emails all free

(

raw-edge, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:24, archived)

The time has come....

apologies to all of you.. especially if you already heard it...

Two Palestinian women are sitting on the bus dressed in their burka's. One turns to the other and says..

wait for it....

...

"Does my bomb look big in this?"

(

penrithtearooms, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:16, archived)

oh god

no
would you like your coat?
(and possibly umbrella and hat)

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:18, archived)

shall I ....

get my coat? Or has it gone past that threshold?

(

penrithtearooms, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:19, archived)

at last!

ive been waiting all day for that joke penrith. i was just about to post a massage to remind you. its not bad at all, brought a half smile to my face. well..... :)

(hazey, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:19, archived)

well

i hope youre happy.

you may well have just blummin well started WW3

(crazymum, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:20, archived)

In that case...

I'd better get my NBC suit and tin hat instead..

(

penrithtearooms, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:26, archived)

how about giant shoe cleaner what a stink

(Alienboy, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:16, archived)

Another *minor* CELEBRITY SWEARS

(

Loophooligan, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:13, archived)

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:11, archived)

Ace!

(

macca, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:14, archived)

aargh

It's Hitchcock, or that other film.. one of the omen ones. Nightmares...

(

Wifey, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:15, archived)

hahahaah

(que, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:15, archived)

Brill-o-tastic

(firehazard, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:25, archived)

Does anyone know this film

I woz driving along today and I remembered a film I had seeen some time ago.

It was about these two blokes who lost at poker to some wierd rich pyscho and were kind of held captive by him and had to build a wall or something.

Anyone know what that is from my shitey description?

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:11, archived)

The Music of Chance

by a very fine author called Paul Auster. I recommend him highly

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:12, archived)

Wooyay

That was quick, and the right one too. Cheers.

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:17, archived)

I am

Omniscient. Buy 'The New York trilogy' if you want to get into him. He also wrote 'Smoke' and 'Blue in the Face' those two films with Harvey Keitel

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:20, archived)

Cool

Didn't know abt the books, just suddenly remembered the film.

Might look him up in the bookshop, when I get paid that is...

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:24, archived)

The worst job in the world for me

is anything to do with customers. The bastards make my head hurt.

(

macca, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:06, archived)

do you work

on a customer care line?

(Amerella, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:21, archived)

No way. Never.

I used to work with customers in a former life but now I get to hide behind a PC all day. Peace and b3ta!

(

macca, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:31, archived)

When clipart attacks!

Damn - I'm about a week too late...

(iain, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:02, archived)

nope

it hasn't been judged yet. you can still win...

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:03, archived)

never too late for that

it's ace.

(

pep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:05, archived)

winners get picked?

Is that on the newsletter?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:06, archived)

(

pep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:08, archived)

where is the new

newsletter?

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:12, archived)

you can subscribe

from the homepage

(

pep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:16, archived)

bah

I did before and never recieved a thing, fiddlesticks!

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:17, archived)

So has the new one come out

today?

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:19, archived)

not yet -

but later

(

pep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:25, archived)

I'll wait patiently

/paces up and down

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:27, archived)

Wow

outstanding

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:11, archived)

beautiful,

worthy of frontpageness but alas i don't see it there.

(que, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:24, archived)

300px wide

that's probably why - shame tho coz it's ace

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 15:48, archived)

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