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Minor Celebrity Curse

(

Silentbob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:28, archived)

It's all gone a bit (golden era) 'VIZ'.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:25, archived)

Think

again....

obvious

(

Sam, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:38, archived)

No comprendez....

....monsieur.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:40, archived)

Oh Yeah!!!!!

I get it now! Sorry. My stoned.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:42, archived)

Wish I was...

But I have to wait for my Dad to visit first, sodding get.

Should I have one anyway?? I do deserve it..

We were having a reminise about SuperGran earlier...

(

Sam, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:50, archived)

'Get one down ya'..

..it should be every self-respecting caner's duty to make their parents as disappointed as possible. It's funny.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:54, archived)

Errr

My Dad knows how much of a caner I am....

but he's a nightmare to deal with when I am stoned, he still tries to play-fight me - I am 28!

(

Sam, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 18:06, archived)

Just punch his fucking teeth in then.....

....and say "Enough. Enough, man."

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 18:21, archived)

viz rocks

rip off the greats - I say.

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:40, archived)

The newsletter is out

featuring 10 tonnes of b3ta goodness and femaleorshemale ... 2. hooray!

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:17, archived)

yay!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:22, archived)

Only 12/16 this time

I crumbled under the pressure.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:22, archived)

i got 11/16

which is a big improvement on last time.

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:31, archived)

love my new pet, he called Dave, he very friendly!!!

(redifusion, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:12, archived)

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

he's adorable.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:13, archived)

Aaaaaaaaaaaargh

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:14, archived)

it's

ok, he only want's a little bit of your blood......

(redifusion, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:16, archived)

I'm going to have a game this weekend...

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:08, archived)

Brilliant

I want one!

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:14, archived)

Bad rob. Late newsletter

I've written it. Joel is just proofing it. It'll be out in 5 minutes. Damn thrusday night drinking.

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:03, archived)

Naughty

You must be spanked

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:05, archived)

no spanking

I've got a very bruised arse at the mo. I fell down my stairs. A wearing socks & polished wood thing. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. I went. My lower left cheek has gone from black to purple to yellow in the last week.

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:08, archived)

That's your story....

....and I presume you're sticking to it? Eh? Big Boy?

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:13, archived)

are you sure

thats not from the art of fisting?

(

stouffer, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:13, archived)

you're trying to out my popbitch username. which I can exclusively reveal as ... "rob". just like here.

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:42, archived)

i'm a

modern day bergerac

(

stouffer, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:47, archived)

that music should be used for something

dunno what. but it's perfect for an animation.

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:54, archived)

Hmm the adventures of...

They'd need to wander past something french though at some point when it goes do dee do, do dee do dee do do dee do do, do do, dee dee dee dooo.

(Ann_Onnymouse, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 18:12, archived)

i know -

i hate thrusdays too. very messy

(

rockyrobin, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:07, archived)

that tourettes thing never ceases to make me giggle...

Hugo
Not a criticism as such but the Tourettes SAUSAGE JOCKEY thing (which by the way is the best WANK thing on the Interweb) would be CUNTWIPE improved by the removal of ! after the words. I know it adds to the ANAL RAIDER Tourettishness, but to my tiny mind the words are so funny that the absence of ! just makes it funnier - like they CLAG NUT are just included in the text.
(coat)
(fishbear , Fri 26 Apr 17:31, Reply)

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:59, archived)

Heh

I put my companies site through it and had everyone in stitches, except the board of Wanky directors, Gary Human Tampon Raime wasn't too happy.

(twelveways, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:03, archived)

"Ruby COCKSUCKER the lioness thinks RECTUM RIPPER Lambuel is cute and wants to marry him one day!"

She might be out of luck, by the sound of him

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:03, archived)

It gets better every time.

"It is important that we acknowledge that there are certainly lots of FUCKNUTS anti-Christian activities that go on during Halloween, including obvious and blatant things such as the reveling in SCABBY LABIA demonology but also subtly subversive things such as "bobbing for FANNY DROOL apples", which is really a symbolic re-enactment of the Fall."

(Ann_Onnymouse, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:14, archived)

question..

i'm running xp, why won't any shortcut links work, so i have to copy and paste URLs???
am i being stoopid?

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:55, archived)

That's a weird one.......

....Dawolfey or Witty will know.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:03, archived)

I think it has some mouse cursor issues

try clicking on them a couple of times.

Sometimes I think it's not paying attention. Probably busy reading the board...

(

flibz, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:43, archived)

cheers

chaps !!!

(

pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Fri 26 Apr 2002, 18:04, archived)

Has anyone else

ever been to K i l l a l l t h e w h i t e m a n.com ?
Very Fuck*ng funny site indeed.

(twelveways, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:49, archived)

Erm definitely too late now but

(Ann_Onnymouse, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:47, archived)

That's so

beautiful..

(

Sam, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:45, archived)

nice!

(djmothra, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:46, archived)

Celebrity Swears

(

armaitus Sheep Casings!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:36, archived)

no reason for this at all

but sod it. the tourettes DB. anyone got any new additions?
www.design4online.com/twat/fuck.txt

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:20, archived)

flange basket?

(

stouffer, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:28, archived)

Hugo

Not a criticism as such but the Tourettes thing (which by the way is the best thing on the Interweb) would be improved by the removal of ! after the words. I know it adds to the Tourettishness, but to my tiny mind the words are so funny that the absence of ! just makes it funnier - like they are just included in the text.
(coat)

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:31, archived)

yeah i agree - and will get rid of the

reb bold text too.. will leave it as is..

but watch this space - we're doing a chris uebank version :)

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:39, archived)

Good on yer guv

you rule

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:43, archived)

fixed..

better?
www.design4online.com/twat/fuck.asp?site=http%3A%2F%2F207.67.219.101%2Fobjective%2Fkidz.html

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:49, archived)

Beautiful

beyond words

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:52, archived)

Yes

"Oh BUGGERJUICE no! Lambuel is late for KNOB JOCKEY Church!"

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:52, archived)

trampspunk and

bag ladies periods?

(

currymonster, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:32, archived)

Trampspunk

wonderful

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:34, archived)

...

fucktard
spunktassels
cockfister

(

nyarlathotep, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:36, archived)

lobtoast gobbler

puddle bather

(Ann_Onnymouse, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:51, archived)

nice

very nice

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:54, archived)

wifecrust?

yeuch. BTW: You should put this together with some definitions. It could be very readable.

(

rob, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:04, archived)

ugh

horrible.

(que, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:11, archived)

I dunno

I think the simple switcheroo creating CUNTYSOCKS and FUCKMINTS (or ARSEMINTS, which might be more useful) is largely underrated.

(

zog why change it now?, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 18:12, archived)

logfile hilarity (apolgies for length)

mediapill.com recieved over 52,000 hits this month (partly due to the queen mum animation). I'd like to share with you all the top 30 query words typed into search engines to find the site:

reqs: search term
----: -----------
96: queen
89: mum
18: mediapill
12: office
10: movies
10: hollywood
10: made
10: are
10: how
9: news
9: mother
8: the
7: humor
6: pill
6: funny
6: sexhat
5: tits
5: to
5: national
5: media
5: lampoons
5: vacation
4: carty
4: showbusiness
4: nicolas
4: of
4: man
4: sex
4: tv
4: deformed

(the original woodsman, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:20, archived)

sexhat?

(

stouffer, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:21, archived)

Excellent

A sexhat would compliment my fucksocks perfectly

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:22, archived)

that reminds

me of, when i was a kid i hasten to add, seeing a teenaged chap in a hat featuring a pair of ladies breasts and the words 'boob inspector'. i believed it was an official goverment post and told my mum that's what i'd like to be. aaah, the innocence of youth.

(

stouffer, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:25, archived)

you bastard!

you're doing it again!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:26, archived)

Hoorah!

Sorry mate. I seem to be on some kind of a roll here. Woo.

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:31, archived)

i'm on

a bap

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:33, archived)

i'm on a bed

of lettuce with a blue cheese dressing

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:35, archived)

is this, according to

google

(

stouffer, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:24, archived)

woof! woof!

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:24, archived)

It certainly

makes him look horny
(groan)

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:32, archived)

that IS

Ray Liotta, isn't it?

(the original woodsman, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:32, archived)

Chiil out..

.....it's just a pair of Octopus underpants. Or 'Octopants' if you like.

(

routine has perfected burgers, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:44, archived)

woah

now that's odd ;)

(que, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:55, archived)

to match your fucksocks

obviously

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:25, archived)

don't try and tell me that that is a little plane...

http://www.hobbybarn.com/images/whplans/boogie.gif

(goodbye uk, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:06, archived)

i found this today

woo clicky
i totally want to make one!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:13, archived)

i am sooo sold on that.

well, it'll give me something to do over the weekend.

im sick to death of fucking decorating and the weather looks shite - so a geeky weekend in then.

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:17, archived)

quality!

make one and put a video of it on the board! or just some pics! pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaasseeee!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:22, archived)

er, dont have a vid camera :)

But what i may do is plug the bastard into the mains and see what happens (dont worry - i've done a electrical apprenteship, so im well qualified to wire things into the mains :)

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:24, archived)

i haven't

but it doesn't stop me

"now timothy, put these two wires in your mouth and press that button"

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:27, archived)

That

is a little plane

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:13, archived)

actually, its quite colourful and lively.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:21, archived)

On the subject of playground insults

I presume everyone is already aware of this?
Brilliant

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:06, archived)

I have spent

hours on that site before.

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:09, archived)

Lovely bloke as well

Log's another one of the random people who've ended up crashed out in my shed.
Do I get a trophy? Maybe a glass one?

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:17, archived)

That site

just took me back years - if you see him again can you pass on my regards?
(I'll post them to you in a little box)

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:19, archived)

Will do

I fully intend to meet up with Log for drinkies again- he's a most entertaining drinking partner.

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:21, archived)

Huzzah

Anytime you need a drinking partner with a large capacity for ranting and memory loss give me shout. I am intrigued by your shed and wish to, st some point, pass out in it.

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:24, archived)

Woo

I'm up for a bevvy - absolutely. Yay.

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:35, archived)

Hoopla

We should make plans

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:36, archived)

Yes

yes we should. Where are you based again? hooray for drinks and meets and stuff.

(

crab_bloke), Fri 26 Apr 2002, 17:16, archived)

I think the time is nigh

for a resurgence of Joey Deacon related fun

(

thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:22, archived)

a peice of advice

I just ran Ad-aware for the first time in a couple of weeks and it removed 244 suspect spy-ware components..

so if you aint done it yet go to www.lavasoft.com and give it a go.

damn scumware.

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:04, archived)

Do you know

how to run KaZaa without spyware? I tried it and it broke

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:06, archived)

Get Kazaa Lite

It's ace

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:07, archived)

actually, where do you get the lite version?

i cannae find it cap'n

EDIT: found it. kazaalite.com.
doh.

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:13, archived)

You have to leave in

the clint dll thing - it fools Kazaa into thinking it has the spyware installed - RTFM on it to save a load of trouble later

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:20, archived)

Yowser

What's the meaning of life?

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:16, archived)

Damn

I was beginning to think that fishbear would answer all of my questions

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:22, archived)

Do No Harm

is actually the answer. That's it in three words

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:26, archived)

Nice one

Got kazaalite and installed it, looks good.

Have you thought of starting an 'ask fishbear' website?

It could be like ask jeeves, except giving useful and relevant answers

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:35, archived)

If you build it

I will come
(or something)
That actually is the true meaning of life by the way. I spent a period of time 'looking into it' and those three words were the result of a decade of travelling round the world and ingesting vast quantities of unusual substances, vast quantities of reading, lots of great experiences etc.
So that should save some work. Right it down somewhere and if anyone asks you you'll know the answer:-)
(fetches coat from closet, just in case)

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:40, archived)

I've wriiten it on a postit

and stuck it to the cat

(

Spoon, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:42, archived)

Best place for it

unless you lose the cat
Write it with marker pen on your forehead and never wash again

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:44, archived)

Everyone needs it

and don't forget to download the updater app as well and keep up to date. Anyone using file sharing or P2P stuff needs to run it almost every day

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:07, archived)

yeah..

though most of the shite i had was that damn BDE thing - i only installed kazaa yesterday to get some stuff and then deleted it (forgot to run ad-aware tho dammit :)

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:08, archived)

BDE is Satan

Nick your bandwidth, use your processing time etc

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:10, archived)

i know

but they aint turned it on yet have they? I thought that they *may* switch it on without telling..

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:12, archived)

They are Evil

and may be stopped from switching it on due to some lawsuits in the US. Imagine thinking it up though and bundling it the sneaky snotcocking fuckwad bastardflap twatknockers

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:15, archived)

do you mind if i use

those patent fishbear swearwords in the touretttes thingy?

too late anyway, already done it :P

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:17, archived)

You are most welcome

I have more hidden somewhere in the depths of my psyche

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:22, archived)

what a scary toadwanking thought

(

Hugo Rune, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:25, archived)

Cocksnuffle

to that pile of dogscock mingeslapping

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:27, archived)

my god

you're on a roll today!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:30, archived)

The formula is simple

Just take one noun and one adjective (I think) and combine - therefore:

twatknocker
Flapslapper
etc

Give it a try!

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:34, archived)

frogsodomy

housewanking
wifecrust

woo! a whole world has opened up to me. thankyou for sharing your genius!

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:42, archived)

Now you have joined

the ranks of the Initiated.
Use your knowledge wisely, and for the Good of mankind.
You are now able to exchange the Sacred Greeting with others in your exalted position.
The greeting is 'PusGoblin Twatflicker'

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:47, archived)

yes, sensei.

may the jizzspinach guide you, and the muffbuster light your way.

(

spacefish bong!, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:51, archived)

Ah you have learned well

Go forth - a new world awaits you young phlegmgargler

(

fishbear, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:55, archived)

if we're showing off logos

Heres mine

(Dean, Fri 26 Apr 2002, 16:00, archived)

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