I'm a woman and I just love it....
Wanking. Even the word is deliciously satisying, the long drawn-out 'wan' to the heartstopping finale 'k'.

I started early, at about 12 or 13, and have spent a LOT of time since experimenting to see how fast, hard or judderingly I can cum. Of course, just using fingers was fine for the early years, but after a while the same techniques and mental images just don't do it the same for me (I assume this is true of men also?). I've had all sorts of toys over the years, from the quick and reliable and hand-bag friendly 'lady-finger' to the slightly scary 10-inch dong. To be fair, many of my favourite days have been 'dong-days' because of the sheer amount of time and porn-watching it takes for me to be 'ready' for that one. Nothing like a couple of hours watching the pro's (or am's) and NOT allowing me to touch myself before using the dong to put a spring (if slightly crab-walky spring) into my step. My main aim in life is to save up enough to buy a sybian, and then I'll probably never be seen outside ever again.

The disaster bit? The surety that I can make myself cum better than any guy ever will. And the day my silver lady-finger gave its last buzz. No replacement has ever been quite the same, it was with me for 7 years (longer than any of my relationships have lasted).

Length? As long as it buzzes honey, I couldn't care less ;)
(freshly juiced my mum always said it's rude to spit...., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 17:17, 35 replies)

If you can get ten inches in there,
you likely will be dissapointed by man.
I read somewhere that the vagina is about 7" long, on average, and the penis about 6.5".
I would be tempted to say you were making it up to get us guys excited, but I used to know a girl who had a "special toy box" she raved about -- so I'll assume you're telling the truth.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 17:33, closed)

I never said I got it in to the hilt ;p
(freshly juiced my mum always said it's rude to spit...., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 18:23, closed)

Fair enough.
Being only moderately endowed I do feel a little insecure when such things are mentioned.
As to the guys being able to do it for you -- real flesh and sensitivity may prove more exciting than more Hz.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 18:35, closed)

Over stimulation from vibration and/or pressure actually makes it harder for women to reach orgasm over time.
True fax.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:49, closed)

That applies to guys too to an extent...
But real is generally more satisfying than simulated, no matter how good.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:51, closed)

jesus
at least childbirth will be a cinch
(jennymnemonic, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 17:35, closed)

Sending this to Badger.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 18:09, closed)

where is the fail?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 19:52, closed)

It's about sexual activity
presented in a positive light.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 20:13, closed)

An inveterate wanker who finds sex unfulfilling?
Yep. It's like somebody took the entry for "positive" out of the dictionary and wrote it in lasers on the face of the fucking moon.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 21:48, closed)

Better than being terrified to touch her own foo-foo
because it's dirty and unclean and shameful.

Also, I bet you give yourself better handjobs than any woman can. Except my mum, obviously.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 21:57, closed)

Quite so.
The world is entirely black and white and there is no middle ground between being petrified of your own twat and spending hours on end stuffing plastic friends up it.

You're right about your mum though. I think it's the calluses from scrubbing all those pub toilets.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 23:01, closed)

There is actually
It's called 'recovering Catholic'.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 10:36, closed)

Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 12:07, closed)

It's not a language as such
more a use of whatever language it's being performed in.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:11, closed)

I can't read it without imagining a similar thing being written by a man
and how fucking creepy that would be.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 20:20, closed)

Rewrite it as a bloke and post it to see if it garners the same number of slobbery white knights.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:24, closed)

Coming up
One overly earnest paean to my obsession with touching my own genitals, using various inanimate objects to expand my fundament, and how I eschew human relationships in favour of this behaviour.

Will the ladies come running? I'd give it 50/50.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 11:41, closed)

Fucking this.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:27, closed)

I hear ya...
You can teach yourself not to need vibes though... you can just slowly phase yourself out of the habit, and your sensitivity will return. Also, don't be so quick to say guys won't ever make you cum as well. The ones you've run into thus far have not been up to the challenge, but who's to say there won't be a skilled man in your future? I didn't think I'd ever have better orgasms via a guy than what I could do on my own, but I got proved wrong.
(Audienda, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 18:16, closed)

sybian
ex of mine had a sybian before i met her she loved the sadle shaped muff hugger best thing she ever bought, just a damned pity that i never got to watch her riding her brains out on it or even see her on video doing the stuff that gets stored in the old grey wank bank
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 19:35, closed)

Ok admit it, who else clicked on her name
to see if Freshy Juiced's picture is in her profile!
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 20:09, closed)

No, you're the only creepy internet weirdo here.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 20:41, closed)

0_o

( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 20:50, closed)

Totally sending this to Sexface.
He loves the needy attention seeking internet ladies.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:18, closed)

I like how you got the sweaty handed virgins attention
by mentioning that you're female. Well done. You're almost as needy as that one who kept going on about her tits, SnuggleSacks.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:30, closed)

Why do they let the side down Blue Star? WHY?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:47, closed)

I don't know Wicca
maybe the answer lies inside my bra, near my big breasts. Would you like to look? OMG lollesbians and tits.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 22:51, closed)

You horrid horrid bullies.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 23:03, closed)

You love it you slag.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 23:06, closed)

Why Blue Star, I believe you have something sticky on your big breasts which are inside your bra.
I think you need to take that dirty, dirty shirt off. Right now.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 23:12, closed)

Am I doing this right?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 23:13, closed)

I think so.
I'm not in the habit of being a needy beakering girl with breasts and a vagina, ONLINE.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 23:19, closed)

I've not done it in years.
I found my self-respect down the back of the sofa.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 23:32, closed)

This is about as erotic as Mo Molan's rotting face.
Frankly my dear, I couldn't care less.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 1:00, closed)