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This is a question Cheating cheaty cheats

I'm rubbish at cheating. I was asked to help run a stall at a local fair. We sold squares on a treasure map for 10p a go, with the one closest to the "hidden treasure" winning stuff.

I told my sister where it was. I'd not really thought through how obvious this would be. I've kind of avoided cheating since, what have you cheated at? Confess all, it'll make you feel better.

(, Thu 17 Nov 2005, 10:14)
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This question is now closed.

Lookie here: forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=95800

Why would they be discussing this if such a thing existed?

*thumbs down* Sorry for the interruption, but we like funny and truthful stories.

Truth is stranger than fiction.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 23:33, Reply)
Maybe, but I doubt it.

The story has just got too much of the bar-room bullshit session whiff about it. You know the deal - I tell my tall tales and you pretend to believe me, then in turn, you tell your stories while I nod and agree... "Of course you did the right thing decking them three bouncers - they was completely out of order...". Then we go our seperate ways, more or less convinced by the experience that we are better, braver people.

Anyway, I digress: Paying with a £50 note in blighty is a big deal, and often impossible. I'd imagine a north-of-the-border £100 note transaction to be memorable. Also, judging by the tone of the story, Mr Desiato worked at Saino's in a fairly junior position, which again marks a ton-in-a-note transaction as pretty odd.

Thanks for bringing the Scottish aspect to my attention, but no thanks for queering the pitch. Hotblack can now touchingly claim to be a sweaty, and his facile lies remain, in the Scottish courts at least, "not proven".
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 21:14, Reply)
maybe HotBlack Desiato {Home again} was in Scotland where they still have £100 notes?
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 20:42, Reply)
Pub Quiz
Me and my mates often frequent our local on Sunday evenings for the pub quiz. It's usually pretty good because the landlord's a fecking nutjob!

One time he was sat writing the questions beforehand and asked us for some help, we gave him some questions and sure enough, they came up!

Another time during the quiz my mate went to ask him about a question and managed to read every single answer we'd missed while he was there. We won half a crate of Fosters.

I mean... what a cunt. Fosters?!?!?!
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 20:42, Reply)
HotBlack Desiato {Home again} & The £100 banknote.
The Bank of England stoped issuing all notes of above £5 denomination in 1943 to foil German counterfeiting attempts - they withdrew the £5 note, redesigned it and reissued it.

The £10 note was reissued in 1964, the £20 in 1970 and the £50 in £1981.

The £100 note was never reissued (nor were it's more impressive siblings, the £500 and £1000 note).

The Russians have a saying:

"Better a clever lie than the foolish truth"

I've searched quite extensively, but no-one seems to have a similar saying about a foolish lie...
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 20:16, Reply)
Me and my friends got so good at cheating at Cluedo that a game would not usually last a whole round. It tends to look a bit fishy when any of us play with outsiders and we're ready to have a guess after only one or two people have had a turn.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 19:53, Reply)
School Chess Championship
I didn't hand in the forms for the games which I lost :)
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 19:19, Reply)
Pub quiz...
Whilst at university in Birmingham a few friends and I thought that we'd go and show some locals what for at a pub quiz at a little pub in Harbourne.

Whilst confident that we'd easily win because of our superior knowledge as a result of our university education, we felt it prudent to spend a little extra cash on a second entry form. Our logic was that given the likelyhood of a disagreement on answers, we could try both answers, thus increasing the chance of winning.

How could this wonderful plan fail - I hear you ask.

Well it failed spectacularly, and we came join last....with ourselves. Suffice to say, we made a sharp exit to avoid extra embaressment.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 18:42, Reply)
Cunning disguise
For sport about 3 years ago, I was forced with a number of my fellow lazy people to run round St James Park. It wasn't that we were particularly unfit (we were only quite unfit), it was pure laziness that made us not want to.

So we just run round until we're out of sight of the teacher on the corner (who by now may well have slipped off for a crafty fag anyway), then just walk straight through the middle of the park - round a lovely scenic little lake at a leisurely pace, then a bit of running and rubbing water on foreheads to convince him we've been running.

Trouble was, he got lucky and saw us going across the park. So he moved to where he could see right through the middle of the park, and therefore see whether we were cheating at all. Well that was crap so we came up with a cunning plan:

(Mission Impossible music)

We had to think of a way to get round unseen, or we would actually be forced to run. Properly. So disguises were the best option. I stuffed a hat and a plastic bag under my sweatshirt, and have a T-shirt on under it as well. I got behind a bush and emerged, Superman-like, with a hat, no glasses and no sweatshirt, and carrying a bag (with glasses and sweatshirt inside). We then left the bushes one by one so as not to arouse suspicion. Joining on to groups and lone women (to confuse someone looking for lone boys, lone women must have found it weird), we walked straight through the middle to freedom. Top tip: change your gait when trying not to be recognised. It totally works.

We continued cheating in dsguise for months. It was fookin' brilliant.

Apologies for length. And also for the length of my huge penis.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 18:41, Reply)
to be or not to be....
When i was a junior in high school, i attended this private schoool, for some reason our entire class had to memorize shakespeare's to be or not to be speech...night before said screw it and recorded myself saying it really really slow, next day on the test, brought in a walkman with a pair of head phones ran the lines through my sleeves and listen and wrote everything down, think i got a 98 or something, didnt get caught either, the tape spread around and pretty much everyone i knew used it at one point. i dont think anyone else got caught either
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 18:40, Reply)
I've never cheated in my entire life.

Apparently everyone's cheated once, so does that make me special?
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 18:36, Reply)
Timesheet cheat
I used to work in Italy and got a decent amount of money for doing it.
One day my wife and i were discussing hobbies and she decided she wanted to do jewellery making.

She reckoned all the kit, materials and other stuff would set me back about a grand.

So I then ripped up the invoices i was preparing at the time, made new ones with more hours on them and submitted them for authorisation.

Within minutes i'd blagged a grand.

My wife never got past buying a book about her new hobby, but i had opened up a superb new way to make a lot of money. Lieing.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 17:53, Reply)
Awwww. I'm such a good mummy...
I tell my son to "look over there", then I swap his letters for good ones when we're playing scrabble.... Suddenly he looks back and is amazed at all the possibilities.

When I'm playing against my husband - I do the opposite and swap my bad pieces for new pieces from the bag.

I figure the karma will work itself out.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 17:13, Reply)
postgraduate cheat
I work for a university (no names) and got work to pay for me to do a postgraduate diploma in e-learning. All of the course was done over the interwebnet, bonus for a major slacker and surfer like me. Anyway I blagged all of the essays and assignments from the web, chucked in a few poignant references and got the lot done by doing virtually fuck all. There then follows a nice pay rise and promotion all for me being a big cheat. Ha ha ha!
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 16:07, Reply)
Used to work in Sainsbury's many moons ago....
On my last day I got served by my, now ex-manager. She was a total slave driver and I bought £5 of petrol with a £20 note.

Upon reaching me the change I jokingly said "sorry but that was a £100 note I gave you" with a big grin on my face, just having a laugh you understand. To my suprise she checks the till and does indeed find a £100 note!

I got £95 change!

Har Har!!!!!!!!!!!!
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 15:50, Reply)
Gotta love AQA!
My college (an independant 16-18 one) was unique in my area in that the teachers actually gave a crap about the students.

What this meant was that most of my A2 Physics year involved past papers for the exams - And doing them and handing answers in every two weeks. For most, this involved looking various sites up for the answers and filling the papers from memory. For me, it involved looking at the AQA site and modifying the answers enough not to be noticed.

Ended up spending most of my time getting As for the mocks and being put in with the eggheads. Don't think my tutor twigged until I got a C for that altogether (only because the buggers at AQA didn't post that year's mark scheme on the site).

I still got into university though - Must've done something right (especially since most of my A-level answers were 40% knowledge and the rest of pure blag. Except General Studies - That's pure blagging. And my only A.)
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 14:59, Reply)
Bejeweled + Artmoney = Win!
My most recent proper cheating moments were back in college. Nearing the end of term and the A2 exams closing, the teachers were pouring out past exam papers for us to complete over every lesson. If you finished early you could leave but if you got a crappy mark, you'd end up doing it again in your own time. Fortunately these were the AQA papers, which AQA have graciously placed on their site along with mark schemes. I printed off every markscheme in a very small size, so you could fit most of the pages on 2 sheets of A4, which I cut up and turned into little booklets. All it took was looking at the front of the exam paper and picking out the right mark scheme.

Those last weeks were a breeze, and I still passed my A-levels with some tasty grades :D

Ive been a member for over 2 years and this is my first post...

b3ta V plates lost... check
Back to lurking... maybe
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 14:45, Reply)
damn i have too many answers to this question...
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 14:39, Reply)
bus money fraud etc
that riminds me, went i was at school, my mum gave me money for bus fare and a quid for school dinner, i used to walk an extra 20meters to a cheaper bus and save 20p, then use 50p of my lunch money to buy a 'token' off a disadvantaged kid who recieved free lunches from the council. The token was worth £1 but could only be spent at school, win-win situation i got half price food, said kid had cash to buy fags/booze/drugs/women.... made 70p a day for years :-)
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 14:38, Reply)
more gcse coursework
being a lazy but likable sod, i ended up not being arsed to do most of my gcse english course work (was too many fit girls in class to send notes to) but my english teacher liked me as i had once offered to help out at an after-school event (to talk to aformentioned fit girls). cue english teacher handing me a stack of paper a few days before the deadline and telling me to write them up in my handwriting.

(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 14:35, Reply)
Lol! I once cheated at a blood test rofl!

...Now I have AIDS.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 14:18, Reply)
The anti-cheat
Now, I'm sure there must be some psychological reason for this, but I have an extremely deep, almost pathological dislike of cheating. I am incapable of doing it even if I know I will never be caught, the thought of plagarising someone else's work horrifies me, the idea of them nicking mine is worse, and the entire concept makes me feel nervous and ill. Reading this QOTW has been a tad traumatic.

However I'm more than able to appreciate the effects of cheating in others.

Such as my then-boyfriends friend, who got increasingly red-in-the face and tantrumy-looking at boyfriends continued denials of very blatant cheating in a game of Monopoly. Culminating in his leaping up, dashing the board and all the pieces to the floor, shouting a bit and running away.

Leaving the rest of us in a small auberge in France, in stunned silence, money fluttering around us and gently to the ground, surrounded by some very elderly French chaps who appeared confused by the sight of a 29 year old Englishman acting like a toddler from hell.

P.S any psychologists out there with an explanation for my aversion? I'd love to be able to cheat, lie and steal with abandon like well-adjusted people do...
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 14:14, Reply)
English GCSE coursework...
I cheated not once, but twice.

First time was when we had to write a poem about the environment. Now my dad was a big fan of Marillion, and on one of the albums was a song called Season's End (you can tell whats coming up next can't you!)

So I copied it. Word for word. Except I called it The End of a Season.

The second time was when we had to write a short story.

Now, not 2 weeks before I had got a book of short stories by Stephen King. So I copied one of them. Word for word.

I handed it in and then found out that the teacher waas a big Stephen King fan. Oh dear.

She never realised what I'd done though.

And she gave me 16 out of 20 for it! (I was thinking I should tell Mr King that he's story was no good but decided to let it lie).
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 13:58, Reply)
A friend is a university lecturer
He teaches architecture and history of art. One student gave him an essay that looked a bit odd... the typeface kept changing from paragraph to paragraph.

Reading a bit of it, it became clear to him that what this student had done was collage together photocopies of paragraphs from books that covered the topic. Confronting the student, they couldn't see anything wrong with this approach to essay writing...
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 12:59, Reply)
Financial gain through embezzlement
When I was about 16/17, my parents kindly moved from within walking distance to school to about 5m away. Fantastic I thought, as I would no doubt be given a lift to school instead of being forced to walk.

My mother, on the other hand, had a different opinion. I would be using the local bus service, although to soften the blow she did provide me with the bus fare on a daily basis.

So cash in hand, I'd walk around the corner to the bus stop and wait for said bus. Only before it arrived, I would be picked up by another child's mother who clearly thought it would be too cruel to force her offsrping into using public transport.

Naturally I never let on the fact that I got a lift to and from school everyday and instead pocketed the bus fare for about two years...
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 12:38, Reply)
Not me...
but my Father.
He's a Lecturer in Archaeology at a well-known Uni on America's East Coast. He was marking an essay by a student, and thought that some of the passages seemed rather familiar.
Indeed, they were familiar. Very familiar.

My Father wrote the damn book they'd been copied from.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 12:02, Reply)
No P.E for a year!
Not really cheating as such... But I managed to schive off a year's worth of P.E by going to a mate's drum lesson.
After 6 months or so, a deputy head cornered me and asked me where I've been for P.E, so I told her the truth... I was at a drum lesson, ok, I missed out the fact it wasnt MY drum lesson but still.
A week before the end of the year and she nabbed me again. She'd found out it wasnt my drum lesson and ordered me to go to my 1 remaining P.E lesson.

To add insult to injury, we recieved an invoice for drum lessons too! Bastards.
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 10:57, Reply)
i'm not really one for cheating...
because i always say, itso nly cheating if you actually get caught!

i can't remember the last time i actually cheated properly, i cheated on a ex boyfriend but he was on the other side of the world at the time. I once cheated in my 8 times table test at primary school beacuse i couldnt be arsed to think and then passed the tips on to someone else who then got caught! But they didnt grass me up which was fantastic so i got away with it again!

I still consider cheating to get ahead, i mean if i had last year i would be repeating the first year of university and believe me the oppurtunity would have been easy.

But then they always say, you're only cheating yourself, yeah i am, but as long as im the only one who knows it, fuck you all, i win!
(, Mon 21 Nov 2005, 10:41, Reply)

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