My mum
was up for National Teacher of the Year as she defined and put into process parts of the National Curriculumn for the teaching of special needs kids. Or something like that. She came 2nd, but I was still dead proud.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 20:13, Reply)

One of the blokes from paper lace lives a few doors down from me
I have no idea what his name is, nor do I really care, but he has quite possibly the stupidest hair/moustache combination I've seen for years.

I've also taken a piss against his bmw.
( Muns, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 19:36, Reply)

I go to the school Ellen MacArthur went to
In the Library is a book on sailing, which Ellen signed out twice-her name is on the ticket.
Wonder what it would fetch on Ebay?
( Greenbat, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 19:12, Reply)

Bisto Ad
The guy in the Bisto ad that was around at Christmas (where he makes a comment about man boobs and then proceeds to be naked) was one of the Welfare staff on a course I was on last summer. he Took me to hospital and told 'em I'd got Suspected Meningitis to get me seen quicker!
Not a classic claim to fame I'll admit,but as close as I get!
(mental_fairy, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 19:00, Reply)

My mates dad is the current bassist for Ed banger and the nosebleeds
Have you ever experienced playing a 1962 Fender Bass on a 1000 Watt bass amp turned up to full? I have, he let me do it in his house when me, him and my mate did a jammin session.
( Gaz, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 18:55, Reply)

lame to fame...
My dad used to be a roadie for the Rolling Stones and claims Mick Jagger owes him ten bob, although I've alway suspected he's lying about that.

My mum definitely does do the accounts for David Shepherd (international cricket umpire) though.

And me? All I've done is meet Paxman. Who wasn't the twat I've heard everyone say he is - he gave me directions and was very nice.

I reckon those claims are crappy enough.
( randompunter, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 18:54, Reply)

Go frickin' me...
I once apepared on the Terry and Gabby show. OK, that's a slight lie, I was in the audience. It was the one where Danny Baker burned his hand on a mocrowave plate, and if you pause it in just the right place, you can see my ugly fizzgog. If you're looking carefully...

EDIT: Its just occured to me that my dad was in a band, which opened for Eric Clapton once. So he claims.

EDIT²: And also, I'm supposed to be/have been on a Hull radio station recently, telling s story about a really useless teacher I once had, and as part of a radioplay about conversations in a pub. Which radio station it was and when it was/is all on, I don't know.
(Chyld wants your babies... in a sandwich, with mayo, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 18:35, Reply)

tea
Henry Rollins, who is a family friend's boss, offered me some green tea backstage at one of his shows in Paris.
(spiggums, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 18:16, Reply)

cock-buzzer
I was once chatted up in a camden club by pete shelley of brit-punks the buzzcocks
(TuxPixie the linux fairy, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 18:05, Reply)

i came 3rd
on some compo on here its the best thing i have ever done
(Hello Coco?, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 18:02, Reply)

almost forgot
my cousin's high school is the one where that chav Melissa Smith (the one who told her teachers that she was pregnant and they got her an abortion and now she's pregnant AGAIN at 15/16) went.

If that's not fame, I don't know what is
(The Disillusioned Starburst, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 17:46, Reply)

live and kicking shame
My mum had just been on the internet and saw a compotition to be on live and kicking, called Sacrifice your family. So she emailed in pretending to be my sister and we got invited on!!

So two weeks later, my mum, dad and two sisters are on live and kicking dressed in matching red boiler suits and my 6ft 6 dad in a apron and small maids hat. I had decided to 'let' my sisters do the show and watched my mum fall flat on her face squashing my sister in large clown trousers whilst my other sis with a broken arm tried to run with some washing which my dad swiftly stuffed in a basket and cheated on live tv.

in the break the other family started to shout abuse and swear at us cus my dad had caused them to be sacrifice so on live tv they showed a replay and 'killed' off my mum and sis but the last laugh was to us as we won anyway!! Oh and u can see me a very sleepy 15 yr old (this was about 5 yrs ago mind) wandering around in the background looking bored.

from then on we were known as the 'cheating family off the tv'.

i make no apologies for lenghth or girth...
( squiddylyd Once you pop you can't stop!, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 17:09, Reply)

Smooth!
* I have walked smack-bang into Sir Desmond Lynam while walking out of a newsagent's in Hove.

* Mike Rutherford thought I was a girl once and tried to kiss me.

* Jordan (Katie Price) went to my school. At least she was leaving as I was starting.

* I served a whole bunch of page3 girls once without a) noticing or b) caring.

* I've also served Mark Little (who used to play Joe Mangle in Neighbours)

- David
(David S Green, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 17:08, Reply)

Spittle
Many years ago before he was a "sir", I was spat on by Ian McKellen.
(Aaron C Rescue, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 16:33, Reply)

batteryoperatedlettuce
I was completely in love with your sister in that video. Can you post her address please?
(soma9766, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 16:30, Reply)

When I was a wee kid,
my mum used to babysit Abi Titmuss. Once, she almost fell on top of me, sitting in my pram on the ground, from the very top of a castle.

That's pretty much it: I was almost killed by someone whose sole claim to fame is she had sex on videotape.
(Fido Dido, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 16:01, Reply)

embarrasing, so must tell everyone
*I went to a Janet Evanovich book signing in Manchester with my mum and turned out to be the only bloke there, coincidentally wearing an orange shirt in the front row. She pointed me out at one point to which I blushed furiously and she said "Aw, isn't he cute?"

We are now the proud owners of a book with "To the cutie in the front row, love Janet" in it. Fantastic.

*I stalked Peter Kay around Asda (Pilsworth branch) once - took me ages to work up the courage to ask if I could take his pic with my camera phone. He agreed and said "Would you like my PIN number too?"

*The Chuckle Brothers once said they liked my hat after one of their shows.

*Saw Lionel Ritchie getting off a plane in Chicago - a packed plane and only ONE person was talking to him (no, it wasn't me). Didn't dignify him with a photo.

*Watched Mohammed Ali at last years E3 game show walk slowly up and down a bit with a massive load of burly bodyguards - he walked up to one guy and pretended to punch him. Dude still has it.
( Jalu, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 15:58, Reply)

How's this for tenuous...
My mum's cousins friend played the guitar in that song "...ever so lonely lonely...".
(-mimo-, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 15:29, Reply)

My claims to fame
I used to clean the bass palyer of the human league's shoes at school.

I was in the same year of school as Andy Bell from Erasure.

My grandparents were a singing act at working mens clubs and theatres. They took Jim Dale from the carry on films to his first stage appearence when he was about 8

One of my Uncles got a design council award for designing the beer tap that is used in modern pubs.
(ceebs, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 15:14, Reply)

this is a good one
my auntys ex boy friends mate was on big brother a couple of years ago never met him but this claim must be one of the best here. o yer some author/bloke that was on tv called david cossof or summit lives in my street his son was some bloke in a band that died of drugs overdose hes a bit of a stuck up cunt if u ask me. o yer saving private ryan was filmed in my home town and i think tomb raider was filmed in hatfield house which is near where i live and the martins was filmed in my home town fuck me im nearly fucking famous. jools holland might b buying one of the houses that i am working on at the moment i think thats a pretty fucking big claim to fame i did some of jools hollands plumbing possibly. and some kid that my bro knows from primary skool is in a pizza hut advert.
(fwack bang on it, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 14:52, Reply)

Somewhere deep in the
branches of the Slocombe family tree is the last person in Britain to be hung for sheep rustling.

And I met Wurzel Gummidge when I was a nipper, and apparently tried to pull his head off.

Come on- Wurzel Gummidge! That's got to be worth something...
( Prof. Slocombe, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 14:15, Reply)

Oh and I forgot
My friend's mother kissed the Chucklebrothers.

And I saw it.
( Flowers the little boy that santa claus forgot, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 13:51, Reply)

2 fingered prick.
Walking past Shadthames the other lunchtime I twigged Patrick Stewart "power-walking". Not that I fucking wanted it but his response to an autograph was 'Fuck off'.
Lets hope powerwalking becomes powerwalkintothethameswithconcretebootson. Vulcan my arse.
(makavel1, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 13:29, Reply)

Eastenders
My stepdad was in Colchester nick with "cunt" Leslie Grantham. He's now a "fingersucking cunt" according to stepdad.

My mates uncle claims to have shagged Cheryl Baker in the pie n mash shop in Bethnal Green many years ago.

The good old Eastend.
(makavel1, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 13:22, Reply)

My
sister was the female skater in the Robbie Williams music video, "she's the one". She's not a very worldly lass and when she told us he had to keep nipping off for a cig every five minutes and couldn't shut up about his favorite football team, we all knew the little mucker was off his face on coke the whole time.
(batteryoperatedlettuce Soon to be nine b3ta yrs old, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 13:20, Reply)

girlie power
im related to emeline pankhurst...and never shut up about it :p
(tiswicked, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 13:12, Reply)

Sacked Tom Jones
My Grandad sacked Tom Jones when he worked on a building site in Cardiff. When he came on the TV he would alway mutter under his breath 'lazy bastard!'
(Killa, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 12:55, Reply)

Tom Hanks
told me to die.

I was an extra in Band of Brothers.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 12:55, Reply)

john fielden
im related to a mill owner who supported/helped the chartist movement in yorkshire oO
(spike4848, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 12:44, Reply)

The back of my head is very famous....
....it appeared on Tv virtually every night for about 2 years:
I'm the person sitting down on the far left
(Scary, Sun 27 Feb 2005, 12:40, Reply)