Douglas Henshall
On hols in Shetland, met the above bloke whilst pacing up and down Sumburgh Airport as an extra for a drama, called "Shetland". Fuck me, who came up with that title? Nice bloke actually, shook hands and said hello. Spent the rest of the time in a car keeping warm.
Us plebs had to stand outside. Fuckers.

Got told off by a production bloke for filming him and this wierd bird seeing off a empty coffin onto a plane. Can't grumble though, he didn't ask me to eat the memory card or usher me into a black helichopter.

Oh yeah, was part of a FAKE Up Helly Aa parade in Lerwick, was given an EMPTY beer can to raise and cheer looking merry. Fuck a duck, I look like a reprobate. Also part of the BBC drama being shot.

Still waiting for ITV to pay me my fucking 70 quid as well. Bollocks.
( Tesco Quality 60.825659, -0.788337, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 23:57, Reply)

I was on a zebra crossing with Norman Willis
He was going one way, I was going the other... Waddaya mean "Who's Norman Willis?" He was general secretary of the TUC for nine years.

I was in the lobby of a local venue buying tickets while John Jones of Oysterband was wandering around on the other side of the ticket desk. The rest of tbe band were sat round a table by the door tucking into a plate of sarnies; thought best to leave them to it.

I passed by Kathryn Roberts in the trade marquee at the Cambridge Folk Festival (I could say she was loitering within tent!). Didn't work out who she was until later though.

Paul Sartin walked by with kids in tow whilst I was sat on a park bench in Chippenham during the festival this year.

Whilst looking for a pre-gig talk with the Imagined Village, I followed Benjamin Zephaniah in order to find it. Figured as he was on the record he knew where he was going, but would have probably been awkward if he was going to the gents! Did get an odd look from Eliza Carthy as they all left at the end, not sure why.

I was involved in a card trick with Jerry Sadowitz at the Edinburgh festival one year (I think that was the same year I spotted a womble in a bikini handing out flyers for "Whoops Vicar, Is that Your Dick?").

Met Rachael Sage after a rather small and not very well attended gig. Bought a CD from her. She apologised again for having bronchitis, which I wouldn't have known if she hadn't already mentioned it several times. Oh, and "schmaltz" comes from the Yiddish word for chicken fat, so I did learn something that evening.
(An eejit passing by in a purple satin skirt with sparkly bits, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 22:52, Reply)

I once got to the national finals of a fancy dress competition
the really embarrassing part?

It was a Star Wars fancy dress competition.

...and I was a 14 year old girl.
(berk, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 21:51, 5 replies)

Mine's in Shit Claims to Fame 1
I think, so I'll pea here
Came Third in THE UK Freestyle Disco Dancing Championship, which has given me a Bacon number of three, I played Didjeridu for Rolf Harris. I have eaten with Ayesha (of Roy Wood fame)and built several stage sets, one of which was for Queens Its A Kind of Magic Tour, Mr Farrokh Bulsara came to see the long walkway above the audience, sans hand rail, as the model didnt have one, looked at us and said (I Quote)
'What do you think I am, a fucking mountain goat?' and stormed off..

Tina Turner is now using that set, well thats the last time I saw it.
(lordy lordy, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 21:07, Reply)

Me myself and Ringo [and Lulu]
During my 'executive' phase in the late 90's I was the sole occupant of a BA business class lounge one weekday morning at Heathrow. An unhappy looking man in big shades was ushered in and and then left to wait alone. 'Twas Ringo, the Beatles were my Heroes, I'd never get another chance ... so I plucked up the courage ...
to leave him in peace, knowing that whatever I said he'd have heard it all a million times before. The thought of that lonely Beatle sitting there still makes me a bid sad.

Better: Lulu once smiled in my direction in a record shop in Scarborough - I was a teenager and was pleased she 'fancied me'.
(jackiewilsonsaid, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 20:21, Reply)

My great-grandfather was apparently an inventor, of the Wallace and Gromit variety.
So, when a smallish confectionery business known as Nestle (trivia: they added the accent over the e later, as they wanted to appear sophisticated) wanted a challenging new engineering project done, somebody pointed them in the direction of this talented local inventor.

So it was that my great-grandfather designed and built the original mould for the Walnut Whip.

Seriously.
(The Ghost of Stephen Foster, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 19:59, 24 replies)

I've stopped counting...
1. My brother was taught by Mark Hamill's sister
2. My grandma stood near Rolf Harris
3. My mum slept in the same bed as Brad Pitt (not at the same time)
4. Lionel Blair said my cousin looked like the Milky Bar Kid
5. My brother held a door open for Princess Anne
6. I met someone who used to work on the royal yacht
7. Lionel Blair also told my aunt to keep quiet (at a pantomime)
8. My mum's school friend went out with someone who was in Star Wars
9. My uncle went to the Royal Garden Party
10. I have emailed SF author Alastair Reynolds about his work and he replied

The list goes on. So many pointless claims to fame ... the Brad Pitt one is my favourite.
(bat400, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 18:58, Reply)

Drunk with Eddie Yeats/Onslow/Twiggy
One of our lecturers at University (Bradford, mid 70s) was an old mate of the late Geoffrey Hughes. He came up to the Union Bar one night and a bunch of us chatted and got pissed. Top bloke, telly is poorer without him.
(grumpypolecat, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 18:47, Reply)

I'm related to the guy "Big Ben" was named after... maybe.
This is likely to be disputed and for good reasons I'll get into. It appears the most likely reason why the bell was so named was because a politician by the name of Benjamin Hall oversaw the latter stages of construction of the Houses of Parliament and known for being big and bold, especially in speeches was called "Big Ben" hence the bell's moniker. However, this is disputed by some, particularly my mum's family. You see I'm related to this other man, Ben Caunt who had a slightly different career as a Heavyweight Boxing champion.

Ben Caunt was certainly a different sort, said to have been a slow and pretty dirty fighter and given the nickname "Big Ben" for being quite tall and broad and definitely not for his status as a gentle giant. Striving for success, at one point he even went to America to try to challenge the Heavyweight champion there, but returned with someone a bit less notable to duel. His career apparently dwindled after that and the nickname, apparently well known at the time, was possibly usurped by Hall. Even though that would make it slightly related to my distant relative, it's pretty tenuous and not exactly a direct link between him and the bell I can be certain of.

He still was a champion though and during reunions with relatives it's nice to look back at a possible pride inducing aspect of our family, regardless of how deluded it is. Especially as some of our forebears had the misfortune of being named "Harry".
( Christian's Bolt and Ski, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 18:40, 2 replies)

Russell Brand
We went to the same school. I was two years older than him. I played in the band during drama productions while he was probably on the stage.

It is very I likely mocked him for being a thesp.
(Audax Victor, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 18:20, Reply)

TV Documentary about me & the missus getting Wed
In 1999 Edward & Sophie (from some posh family in Windsor or somewhere like that) were getting hitched, so BBC2 commissioned Ginger Productions (yeah, the TV company belonging to Chris Evans) to do a series of documentaries on weddings. As it happens, myself & my newly found missus that I had found in the still new and shiny interwebs (not like that – through this new Yahoo chat thing that was all new and shiny to the interwebs) were also planning to get hitched. The missus was discovered in one of these bridal shops and was introduced to the producer. She like the story of us meeting over the web so decided to use our story as one of the 30 minute documentaries, the fact that she would also get to fly to the USA for filming probably helped our cause. So we got on the TV for that, we were also interviewed live on the all new and shiny BBC3 from BBC centre about the program which was very nerve wracking. The advantage was that a lot of the people we dealt with for organising the wedding (dress/car/flowers/hotel/boat ride down the Thames/etc…) all realised that if we chose them they would get some free advertising on the BBC so we got the wedding at a fairly cheap costage – which was nice.
(mcvpjd3 Has no Board Sig yet, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 18:14, Reply)

When I worked in Pissyworld
Paul Gadd came in with his laptop.
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 17:40, Reply)

Oh, forgot this one
My drawing of a dolphin won the Saturday Disney drawing competition. I've still got the Tshirt somewhere.. I won a Tshirt, a mug, badges, certificate, some Disney type random bits and bobs and so on. I was on holiday when it was on telly and missed it. Came home to a huge parcel full of Disney goodies and a congratulations letter. D'oh.
( Bathory, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 17:27, Reply)

I met Jill Dando once
didn't see her again after that
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 17:25, 1 reply)

My nan was Cliff Richards nanny when he lived in Cheshunt.
Not really much I can add to that.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)

I almost (accidently) punched griff rhys jones.
I was at a garage in Chelmsford,I had just filled my car with fuel and as I was walking to the door of the garage, I turned my head to look back at the fuel pump for its number with my fist held out to open the door.The door opened just as I reached it and quickly dropped my hand as someone walked out, almost punching them in the process.The person walking out looked familiar and it was as I was lined up to pay that it came to me who it was...Griff Rhys Jones. I quickly paid and was going to ask for a autograph but thought better of it as he was having a row with his other half at the time.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Five a side
Whilst working for HSBC I played in a five a side football competition. In Sheffield the bank owns playing fields near the des res 'village' of Dore, where this competition took place over a number of weeks.
Ringers weren't uncommon, but one team had taken this to new heights by enlisting local former Sheffield Wednesday and England international, Chris Waddle, to play for them.
This is how I came to play football on the pitch along side that of where Chris Waddle was playing, as his team had been drawn in a different league.

How I have dined off that story.
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)

I could see the back of my house in a National Lottery advert earlier this year, for about three seconds

( Major Turd for tonight only, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 16:29, 2 replies)

I have my own section.
In the archive.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 16:10, 11 replies)

I saw Ray Winstone come out of an East End pub and punch a cardboard cut-out of himself
Several times. I think they were filming a commercial.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Missed out on meeting Tom Hanks cos I was on my way to get ice cream
I used to work in a tiny camera shop in Bournemouth. One winters day I was in there, and it was stupidly hot in the shop so I decided I wanted ice cream. On my way out the shop I stopped to ask some bloke in a blue baseball cap if he needed any help looking at the camera bags and he mumbled something to the effect of 'No.' so I cheerily said, 'No worries, I'm off for ice cream, see those other guys at the end of the shop if you need anything.' 5 minutes later I got back and the other guys were chuckling to themselves, apparently that was Tom Hanks who looked at me a bit weird after because it was about 2degree outside.

In case you're wondering why a top Hollywood celeb would be in Bournemouth of all places around Christmas time, the rumour was that his sister is married to a Bournemouth copper so he visits at Christmas sometimes. Could be complete BS, but who knows.
(Amputated is tickling the exit wound, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I met Mr Spakkaman once.
His cock doesn't do that precum thing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:19, 1 reply)

I was in charge of registering new arrivals at a conference where Bird and Fortune had been booked to provide the entertainment.
John Bird arrived and came over to me.
"I'm John Bird" he said.
"Yes", I said.
At this point I realised I had been given no instructions on where to send him, so I just stared at him blankly.
He stared back at me, his expression becoming increasingly alarmed until one of the conference managers came over and rescued him.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:07, Reply)

I was shouted at by the greatest man on earth.
I went to Whipsnade animal park for my birthday this year. I'm 27 but I still find trained sea lions and owls to be the pinnacle of entertainment, so I was very excited. My partner was driving me round the perimeter, dodging coypu and tiny deer when I saw the elephants wandering with their keepers in a little wooded patch of land. 'Look! Pachyderms!' I squealed as we slowed down to pull over, but then something else caught my eye. An old man with an impressive white mop of hair was sitting in a canvas chair beside a particularly large elephant, they were surrounded by people and wires and cameras and those fluffy things on sticks. Could it really be? Was my lifelong hero here in Bedfordshire just for my birthday?

Well, yes and no, it WAS my lifelong hero, Sir David Attenborough but he was not here for my birthday. Still, best unintentional birthday present ever. We gathered by the fence and watched him record some wonderful facts about elephant feet for the cameras as a small crowd gathered around. Unfortunately, this small crowd kept doing things like sniffing loudly and slamming car doors while they were trying to record, so there was a lot of re-recording of takes and Sir D and his team were starting to get a bit irate. It all came to a head around take 7 of a short fact about elephant toes when the zoo worker directly behind us, who was bunking off to watch the spectacle, interrupted with a loud 'BLEEEEEEP' from his radio. He slunk off behind a car as Sir D spun around, fixed us with a furious stare and shouted 'OH FOR GOD'S SAKE' with some considerable passion. I walked off to sulk with the Rhinoceroses, muttering about injustices, but I will forever treasure the day that Sir David Attenborough looked at me AND spoke to me because it makes me special and famous by association.
(lumpytuna, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 15:06, 6 replies)

There was a series of articles about me in the Telegraph once
when I was small. A reporter friend of my mum took me around a few very posh restaurants to see how they coped with an irritating, demanding little monster child. It was quite fun.
One of the pieces was called 'waiter there's a space missile in my soup' because I'd taken a toy spaceship that shot out little missiles and then shot it across the room and had loads of waiters looking for it.
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 14:52, Reply)

STATUS QUOOOOOOOO!
My mate's band regularly supports Status Quo on tour. They've all become mates and I've told him about the quo meme on here. He reckons they'd quite like to see some pics so I'm trying to work out how I can collect a big pile of quo gubbins for him...
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 14:48, 3 replies)

Royal Nightshirt Mannequin in the Wind
During my childhood, my mum would work from home for a bespoke shirtmaker with a royal warrant. Diana ordered some nightshirts as Charles was fed up of her sleeping in his shirts. I was about the same height as her at the time so was used as the mannequin whilst she got the lengths right.
And as a 20 year old, I was the same size as Pierce Brosnan, so modelled his James Bond Shirts as well.
( Ulic hissing slightly, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Robbie Coltraine ran past my front door on "Cracker"

(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 14:45, 2 replies)

I worked in a cafe near a TV studio where Simon Pegg, Bill Bailey and other Brit comedians used to come in
They were all much nicer than Dawn French
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 14:43, 2 replies)

I think I've been to bananarama's house
Bit of a shit one this but it might be vaguely amusing.
As a child, I lived in central London and a family friend used to 'do' for a few posh people. As in cleaning, ironing and all that jazz.
She was a lovely old lady, quite loopy and used to look after me sometimes when I was rather small. One time when I was about 6 or so, I have a very vague memory of going with her while she did some work at Bananarama's house. Apparently they all lived together in this huge place with a balcony and massive spiral staircase. They weren't there though.
Actually even then I thought they were shit and didn't tell any of my friends because I was a bit embarrassed.
(teasus likes tea, Tue 25 Sep 2012, 14:43, Reply)