Paedo by proxy and others.
All those books, with their soft-focus white jackets of a small tearful child. The stories are harrowing, horrifying tales of abuse, usually with some life-affirming ending. I can see why some survivors of such things would want to get a message out, but it's a bit past that now, isn't it? It seems to have become some sort of porn, greedily devoured by people who just can't seem to get enough of reading about the tings that happened to these people. The sheer number of such books means there must be a huge market for them. Fuck, Tesco even had a whole section devoted to them at one point.
It's not just the subject of these books that creeps me out, it's the industry that's formed around it and the people who lap it up.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:43, 47 replies)

I agree
I cannot understand why people would read this stuff. I'm sure that half of them must be made up.
The fact that the section in Waterstones is called 'Tragic Life Stories' is just plain wrong.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:46, closed)

Sandy got it right with 'misery porn'

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:57, closed)

many women like reading misery porn
there's magazines dedicated to it.

"my boyfriend chopped my leg off an ate it" that sort of thing.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:48, closed)

*subscribes

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:49, closed)

Yep
www.takeaweirdbreak.com/
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:01, closed)

Oh wow.
Oh freaking wow.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:15, closed)

I'll tell you what's worse.
The 'supernatural romance' section of Waterstones.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:50, closed)

I'd love to say I've left it all behind by moving across the world,
But sadly the cheap bookshop here is full of it. I always involuntarily scowl at those books while making my way to the much-more-wholesome military history section.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:55, closed)

I do hope you march, quick time, and stamp your feet when you arrive.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:59, closed)

No, but when the shop assistant asks me to pay,
I stare moodily into the middle distance with narrowed eyes for a few seconds, snap out of it and say "sorry, I was back there for a minute".
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:09, closed)

they don't know man

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:12, closed)

How many Vietnam War veterans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You don't know? OF COURSE YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW! YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:16, closed)

I had no idea things had got this bad
a whole section? I don't think I understand - is this like Twilight and various bookalikes? Or is it some new genre I've not yet encountered of "I'm in love with my poltergeist" type books?
Or maybe - "fucking with angels - how to seduce the Lord's heavenly choir"

Hey - i like that. Especially chapter 12: dogging with angels.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:12, closed)

Viz recently had a letter from Edna Pupice or whatever saying that
They should surround the grand master paintings in the Tate with policemen, and anyone caught looking at the naked cherubs should be immediately arrested for paedophilia.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:20, closed)

Well, I agree
those naked, doe-eyed flirty little cherubs are enough to drive anyone to paedophilia and should be banned immediately. As should Jesus - he's been giving me come-on eyes lately and I think it's turning me gay.

That's why images of Muhammad are banned, you know.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:37, closed)

coz he's a Homo?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:38, closed)

Of course not. I'd never say anything like that on a public forum, not even in jest
I'm just saying that Muhammad has this pouty look that he does that instantly turns other men into homosexuals, and therefore all his followers are gay - that's all.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:48, closed)

In the Philadelphia Museum of Art
There's a painting of dozens of nude pre-pubescent children just standing around a forest stream all facing towards the viewer. I can't remember who the artist was now, but I do remember that he was Belgian. "Figures" I thought to myself.
(Vainomoinen went looking for the Sampo on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 16:21, closed)

Supernatural romance
is books like Twilight. I think the main characters are typically a human woman and a man who's a vampire, werewolf etc.

Buffy fans seem to be generally convinced that Buffy has nothing to do with this sort of silliness.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:31, closed)

indeed
its not like she ever shagged either Angel or Spike.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:48, closed)

Didn't it start with
"A Child Called It"? Then a couple more came out, then the market was flooded and then people starting writing fictional ones, which is just sick because you're just cashing on other people's tragedy.
The book section Tesco was full of them. Those, and books on a theme by Dan Brown. Holy orders, Templars, crusades secrets etc. And the covers all look the same.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:52, closed)

The fictional ones are the worst.
Well, maybe one under the ones that are fictional but weren't sold as such.
Private Eye have a wonderful segment on bookalikes.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:56, closed)

Longer than that.
Flowers in the Attic. That's got it all - kidnap, incest, physical & mental abuse and murrdurr.
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:08, closed)

Have you ever seen a picture of the author?
She looks exactly like someone who'd write a book like that.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:32, closed)

Ooo you've given me an idea for a story!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:11, closed)

*click*
Yes. Very creepy.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 14:58, closed)

The worst thing about these sexual abuse stories
is the way that they're putting honest writers of biographies about their terrible Irish childhood out of business.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:27, closed)

Hahahaha Angela's Ashes FTW
Da wurst ting in da werld is ter be Oirish. But werse dan been Oirish, is to be poor Oirish. But werse dan been poor Oirish is been a poor Oirish woman. But werse dan been a poor Oirish Woman is been a poor Oirish Catlick woman ...
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:31, closed)

For some
reason I just read your post Vag with a South African accent.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:34, closed)

You know what they say about forrins.
All the same.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:36, closed)

coming over here
stealing our sausages.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:39, closed)

Yeah
I had the CEO of apple bust into my house the other day and nick my can of Mr Sheen...

B'stard.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 16:56, closed)

sausages?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:36, closed)

Begorrah

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:37, closed)

hahahahahahah

Now do a comedy black man...

or a pakistani....just remember to say 'bud bud bud' and move your head about...
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 18:30, closed)

Ah, come on now
he was making a point about the craven, happily conformist, stereotype-reinforcing-nature of the whole genre, so he was.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 0:17, closed)

*facepalm*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 9:37, closed)

I
didn't think you were into lazy stereotypes, or is it just the Welsh you're touchy about?
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 9:54, closed)

I'm not. Think Alf Garnett and Ali G.
You clearly haven't watched or read AA. It's full of the self-effacing irony Irish writers are famous for. See the above opening sentence. The body count among the children alone goes through the roof in the first ten minutes.

But do feel free to lecture me on it - I am English, after all.

"Oi've heard Father Michael does a noice lang mass - he can go on for hours! Especially now after his stroke."

EDIT: Sorry - just for clarity - that last quote is from Father Ted. Another superb bit of self-effacing comedy from Ireland.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 10:05, closed)

did he do an 'Irvine Welsh'?

The lazy cunt....phonetic books are shit.
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 10:16, closed)

No - the phoeticism was mine, in trying to recreate the original aural experience from the fillum.
Phoetic books are shit I agree - pretentious and entirely unnecessary.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 10:25, closed)

^this^

( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 11:53, closed)

very good

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 13 Apr 2011, 15:33, closed)

If you're sick of that whole racket, try this.
www.amazon.co.uk/My-Godawful-Life-Abandoned-Betrayed/dp/0752226738/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1302717313&sr=8-1
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 18:56, closed)

That looks rather good.

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Thu 14 Apr 2011, 0:08, closed)

As long as people buy them
. . people will publish them
(Bitter and Twisted, Wed 13 Apr 2011, 23:28, closed)

They're known as misery memoirs in the trade

( rofl harris, Thu 14 Apr 2011, 10:33, closed)