Last week, had the lowest 24 hours for quite some time
I'm really awesome generally, which was why I was so shocked by the total shitness of it all, felt so pathetic.

First, blowing nose so much I had worst nosebleed of my life, literally pouring for 30 minutes. Tissue over one nostril, it poured from the other. Tissue over both, it ended up pouring from my mouth. ONE of the clots was so big it didn't go down the plughole. (Still have it in a bottle)

Was quite ill, but getting better. That night, managed to blow me load early. Twice. Like in American pie. Wasn't really embarrassed, but ooh, the shame. Mrs Me didn't make fun of me, which I would have preferred, but neither was she supportive. She just didn't really seem to give a shit.

Next day, just had the tiniest of coughs. Not painful at all, just a little tickle. For some reason at about noon my body decides to go into a complete coughing fit, even though it barely tickled. Eventually I coughed so much I puked all over myself and my bed.

Got up to clean myself up, blew my nose and there goes another 20-25 minute nosebleed. Had to remove pukey trousers while holding tissue over face. Once it was all over, I looked back over the last 24 hours, realised how pathetic it all was, curled up on my now sheetless bed and just wept. ,
(Daveh, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 23:22, Reply)

XXX Disaster
I cried the last time I waxed all the hair off my beaver. The wax was too hot, I gave myself blisters that have only just gone away. To make matters worse, the other half had been away for a month, and I was just trying to pretty myself up for the imminent marathon shag-fest we were sure to have. Trouble was, I damaged myself so much, we had to wait another week. Bloody tears of desperation from us both, I can tell you!!!
( sheraloonytunes, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 23:14, Reply)

Bawling my eyes out
Sage francis - inherited scars
(JogDMC, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 22:46, Reply)

The Last time I cried
It means nothing but I got really upset about it.
Yesterday after accepting that I'd miss half of ER due to hells bloody kitchen, my parents decided they wanted to watch the news. I was so upset, I'd waited a week to see it and it was snatched from me at the last hurdle.
Bahhh
(Kittifer, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 21:50, Reply)

make cry me
The last time I cried was Sunday when I spent almost 15 minutes making a pefect sandwhich and then as I was walking into the living room I tripped over my cat and my sandwhich went all over the floor and my fucking cat started eating it.
(Kerflabjeje, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 21:49, Reply)

First Timer
The last time i cried was when my wheelchair bound foster dad died from cancer. N well look at that now is the last time.
(Bhougal...hang me upside down from a banana tree and call me BERTTIE BHOUGAL>>>Oh Yeah...!!, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 21:32, Reply)

last night
after i spoke on the phone to my mum who's on the verge of a nervous breakdown. the hardest thing being that it was the last thing i ever expected to happen.
(moik, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 21:30, Reply)

Shopping
today, whilst doing some idle browsing, a song recommended to me when I first met a one of my better friends who I'm now slightly estranged from came on. I believe it's called Innocent, but I can't remember the band's name for the life of me. Hearing it reminded me of him and made me cry quite a bit. I had to hide for a while until I calmed myself down. If anyone knows which band did this song, it'd be lovely if you could tell me their name.
( Fictional Emma, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 21:28, Reply)

Returning home from seeing my girlfriend
'Twas just today. I hadn't seen my girlfriend since Xmas, and I doubt I'll see her until July. I had more than a few tears in my eyes on the plane home.

I'm pretty soppy for an ex-rugby player, aren't I?
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 21:25, Reply)

Long while ago
about a year ago i was with a friend of mine who was going to some tough times with family and relationships and i was talking to them about everything and as they talked i began to realize how much life itself depends on how others treat you rather than how you act. Kind of like when your driving you've got to be more careful of others than yourself. I stayed there for hours with them, comforting then when it was time to leave and i got home, Radioheads- How to dissapear completely was the first song on my music list... i just broke down.

/Never apolgise never explain.
(Pimms'N'Lemonade thinks you are a twat, prove me wrong., Tue 19 Apr 2005, 21:20, Reply)

EVA CASSIDY :-(
listening to fields of gold just now ... very sad as the beautifully voiced Eva cassidy died of cancer before becoming known... just listened to it as is my mums fav CD.... just found out that my Mum also has cancer, this in combo with the haunting sound of the song is all a bit much..... this QOTW is utter PANTS - Get a new rude/funny one ASAP !!!!
(IMMORTALIS DOMINOX, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 20:28, Reply)

what made me cry last....
ok ino its wierd but our teacher died at the weekend and all his ppupils were in tears on Monday when we found out.
(potetial energy=farts, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 19:49, Reply)

I cry uncontrollably
Every time I orgasm
I am a bloke.
Even prostitutes take the piss
(monkeyseemonkeydo, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 19:31, Reply)

Any minute now probably
Just been going through a few bits and pieces and came across some photos of me and the ex MrsJelly from last year. Brought it all back to me how much I loved her (still do to be honest), how much I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and how if I thought it would work I would do anything to get her back. But I know it won't work.

That and I can't help but wonder how the fuck will i meet somebody else, let alone anyone who comes close to her.

Fucksocks.
(MrJelly, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 19:03, Reply)

what made me cry last...
Saturday just passed, I was in the car heading somewhere. Usual Saturday city-centre traffic :(
Rumbling along at slightly more than walking speed in 2 lanes of traffic, I saw an old lady on a traffic island waiting to cross the road. I stopped. Why wouldnt I stop? letting her across wouldnt cause me any delay. She shuffled out into the road. Would any of the twats in the inside lane stop to let her all the way over? Would they bollox. They were all in far too much of a hurry to get into the supermarket carpark.
The poor old lady just stood there with the sadest expression on her face I have ever seen, wondering why no-one would let her across. Had to choke back a sob there for some reason.
In the end I leaned over and flung the passenger door open. That stopped the traffic pretty quickly I can tell you.

The combination of that poor old womans expression and the added realisation that a such huge majority of the population are arrogant, ignorant, impatient, rude wankers got me really rather upset.


yay, first post.
(dave likes cheese, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 18:48, Reply)

Tears of laughter
After seeing my mate launch a waterbomb filled with 6-day old "Squeezy Cheeze" from a three man catapult at an unsuspecting member of my halls.
( TGP on the rock 'n' roll, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 18:24, Reply)

Like Below..
I know what you mean, the bit that gets me is when he says goodbye to Ed.

Also Hurt, the Johnny Cash version,gets me everytime.
( Sheep in Socks it is illegal to take a lion to the cinema., Tue 19 Apr 2005, 18:13, Reply)

Damn you Simon Pegg!
The bit in "Shaun of the dead" where he shoots his mum...

im such a wuss....
(Four String Demon, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 18:08, Reply)

Orgasmic crying
The last time I cried was a few weeks ago when my boyfriend gave me a mind-blowing orgasm. So much emotion in my body that I couldn't cope and burst into tears. Scared the crap out of him as he thought he'd done something wrong!Bless him.

I love my boyfriend! :)
(tears_of_joy., Tue 19 Apr 2005, 17:36, Reply)

Boabmaster
Massive hug for you friend.

x
( Clairebare Back once again with the Ill behaviour, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 17:01, Reply)

Mums are the best
No matter how big and hard and tough, we guys think we are, losing your mum leaves a hole in your life that you can never fill.
Mum died 8 years ago, it doesn't get any easier, when I think of her every day !
(Betty Boothroyd's Love custard Tourettes at the KOB, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 16:43, Reply)

Mary Shelly's Frankenstein (the modern remake of the film)
That bit at the end when the monster sacrificed his own life to give his "father" a proper cremation
(EvilFred is investing in scuba gear., Tue 19 Apr 2005, 16:34, Reply)

Bunny 33
Shouldn't that be Bunny-Boiler33? This is one seriously disturbed guy. Makes me want a "I HATE this button" where after 100 unique hits or whatever) the post would be deleted. (The advanced model of the button could also dispatch a horde of maddened Millwall supporters to Anally rape the offender.)

Bunny post made me vomit, inhale it and then cry.

Edit: Yay! Bunny33's post has disappeared! Anyone got a cached copy?


I remain,as always
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 16:26, Reply)

A fucking mango
unbelievably yes. my alarm didn't go off the other day, i got up and was late for uni. i thought i'd grab a quick breakfast before i set off and eat it on the way, so i set to cutting a mango in half. before 5 minutes had passed, i had a cut on my finger, a big shredded mess of mango, mango juice all over my hands/kitchen/jeans, and i was in tears. it must have been the funniest sight ever when i ran into my bedrom and woke up my boyfriend, in tears, hands dripping with mango juice and blood and sobbing 'can you help me cut the mango? it's mean and i can't do it'.

i eventually went in an hour later when i had calmed down. the lesson? never attempt anything even moderately difficult when you are tired and on the last minute. i'm going to have a satsuma next time.
( St3cks, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 16:14, Reply)

Pathetic I know...
I cried like a baby watching 'Casanova' on the telly last night. The bit where Peter O'Toole dies and is sort of reunited with the love of his life was so very sad!

Mind you, I also cried at 'Titanic', so I clearly have some problems...
(DustyMonkey, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 16:06, Reply)

Humpty: That puppy story...
Got a fookin great lump in me throat now. Poor little mite...
(Banky fucking Edwards, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 15:49, Reply)

Frenulum, Frenum, Banjo.
NOT, Barse or Notcha (notcha bollox, notcha arse), nor chinrest.

Stop being tarts.
Try getting it pierced.
Watch a grown man grapple with your tadger like a fisherman trying to hook up some live bait, line up the needle, and thrust a 2mm surgical needle through your banjo string. (well, it's way deeper than that really... requires a 22mm bar-bell of which you can't see anythign but the balls) THAT my friends is probably one of the ultimate in tooth-gritting, self-induced-pain scenarios that a sane adult can enjoy. It was worse than any of my other piercings. If you can Manage to do that, (and watch it), then you are a true man.

****************************

I feel that my claim to (therefore) be a true man is somewhat marred by the happenings of last night:

While watching a dog-sanctuary program on TV, the blatantly mean decision to put down a puppy was made. He'd bitten the hand of a kid who was harassing him. they "proved" his dangerousness by poking at him with a rubber hand on a stick. Yes, he bit it, but it was blatantly a rubber hand, and it was pissing him off!!

He got his last meal.. chicken Mc-Fekking-Nuggets. He sat and begged as taught, he responded faithfully to voice commands, he waited patiently for permission to eat each one, he relished them all: tail wagging like crazy. Not once did he do anything that a death-row-dog could be expected to do. He was loveable, excited about life, cute, cuddly, and a child's dream of a companion.

The last nugget was followed by a leather muzzle, and a dessert coctail of pink goo that was pumped into his fore-leg. The poor mite went out like a light in a near instant, but not before a vaguely betrayed and confused look strayed accross his face. His tongue flopped out as his body let go.

2 minutes from being lovingly hand-fed MuckDonalds to Dead.

Complete and Utter Bastards.

I stumbled into bed nex to Mr Humpty. Sobbing like a child.

**********************

Edit: that should actually read "MRS Humpty"
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Tue 19 Apr 2005, 15:34, Reply)

sobs
i cried my eyes out when my wife ran away with my best mate........




i really miss him.
(bovrilboy, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 15:14, Reply)

cried
People who know me would be suprised to here this but i can be a bit of a softie (not just the hard nose cow they know and love)

Movies and music

Okay "Moon river" always brings a tear to my eye reminds me of my grandad

and any song by Marvin Gaye - reminds me of an ex

Enjoy the silence - reminds me of someone very special

Moulin rougue made me cry made it was the cr*p acting or just that i am really too soft for words

Life is beautiful - great film
Cinema Paradiso - when the old man tells toto to leave
An affair to remember - when she can't walk

and when i found out that mariah carey was making another album - what is becoming of this world???????
(thesickandwrong, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 15:13, Reply)

Kleenex Time (No not like that Humpty...)
A few years ago my parents split up – the manner in which my Mum instigated this was, with hindsight, quite amusing i.e. she ran off to France with my Dad’s best mate. Anyway after initial shock of it all and a few weeks of uncertainty I started to ponder the practicalities. The living arrangements at the time were Mum, Dad, Gran (Mums mum) and Dog (old daft spaniel cross). My dog really but stayed at home when I went to Uni 9 yeas ago.

Me and the missus (now ex as she ran off with my best mate a year later….) were talking about this a few weeks after the event and wondering what would happen to everyone. I was ok – living in my own house by now etc… Mum would be ok as she had her new fella, Gran would either live with her or go into a home or something, dad would (despite how he felt at the time) cope fine given time and support, then the missus said what about the dog? Will he have to go into a rescue place? I bawled. Poor bastard Dog had done nothing wrong, had provided unerring faithfulness to a family for years, and now when he should be spending his later years sat on the lawn in the sunshine faced the possibility of Rotherham’s version of Battersea dogs home.

It has set me off now – embarrassing given I am sat at my desk meant to be doing something fairly important for the Government.

Lots of things make me blub – this was the last thing that made me cry properly.

Apologies for nothing.
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Tue 19 Apr 2005, 15:03, Reply)