Charles the Great
One of my ancestors is Charlemagne, first big-boss man of the Holy Roman Empire.
(Rastus P Watermelon, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 11:00, Reply)

helpful man
We got lost on Shugborough estate once. A nice helpful man told us the way to the "best bits" of the estate. He wasn't wrong, we found a cool hut thing on an island in a pond.

Turns out he was Lord Lichfield, the Queen's snap-happy photographer cousin.

He's dead now.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:55, Reply)

Not a sunbed in sight
When I was about 10, my dad decided we should drive up to Inverness (not that far from us) for the day out. A rather cold, miserable, proper Scottish summer day. On the way there, we were rather surprised to see two very nice Range Rovers waiting at a junction, letting all the cars in front of us past.

Naturally, being a complete stickler for the rules of the road, and a monarchist, my dad first noted: "Why's he doing that, he has right of way!" and, seconds later, "Bloody hell, it's Prince Charles!"Of course, we let him in front, and they stopped a short while later at a layby overlooking a huge moor, and the whole party got out with big rifles, off for a day's grouse shooting I should imagine. The best part was seeing the look on the faces of the two German tourists, who had just parked their caravan in the same layby and got out to check a map. Priceless!

I hope he didn't mention the war.
( pidg, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:49, Reply)

Did you know....
.....that when the Queen attends a function, she has to have her own lavatory. When this is being prepared, a security guard stands outside the lav door, whilst inside someone drops a peeled banana down the loo. If the security guard hears the plop, he has to move away. FACT!!!
(Mad McMad, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:49, Reply)

Arise Sir Gran
I have 2 stories:

1. My Gran was awarded the MBE for services to the community (she used to do voluntary work with mentally handicapped adults) and when the Queen went to pin her medal onto Gran's lapel, she dropped it and my poor Gran had to bend down and pick it up!! With her bad knees!

2. I dreamt last night that I poked Prince Charles in the crotch with peach flan but he liked it.
(Mad McMad, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:47, Reply)

I'm distantly related to the 'first ever' historical Ard Ri.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_King_of_Ireland
But it's dreadfully dull, and there was never any hereditory right of succession. Bah.
( no cake for the impuritay Patrick Stewart hasn't aged since, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:44, Reply)

Cnut
My dad used to be very proud of the fact that he, and therefore I, was a direct descendant of King Canute (or Cnut as he is now known).

Unfortunately, mathematics, genetics and Occam's Razor suggest that so is every person reading this, and quite a lot of people who aren't reading this.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:37, Reply)

Not me but
At my father's graduation, he and my grandmother were standing in line to get their photograph taken. Prince Charles walked past (it was the University of Wales so he had been presenting the degrees) and asked my grandma if she was "queueing for the lavatory." My grandma mantains to this day that the Prince was joking; I think he might just be a bit thick.
(supershinysarah, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:32, Reply)

I once went out .....
... with a girl who was a royal pain in the arse.
(LunarJim, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:31, Reply)

Slut Queen
I once came face to face with The Queen of Sluts, Paris Hilton, while I was in Los Angeles.

About 5ft high and an extremly impolite person. Still would have, just to sell the story afterwards.
(reesy22, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:11, Reply)

Mistaken Identity
My dad used to work as a gardener for a local hotel. One day he bought a plant from a large garden centre and when he came to plant it he found it had a disease.

So he calls up the garden centre and gets though to some jobsworth tart who is both rude and uninterested. She refuses to give him a refund or exhange until the plant is examined. She asks for his address. My dad gives the address of the hotel - Rogerthorpe Manor.

The woman seems impressed by this and asks for the name. Thinking she meant the name of the plant, my dad replied 'Lady Betty Balfour'.

The woman's tone changed completely. She apologised profusely for the now undoubtedly diseased plant, offered not only an exchange but a refund, and reassured him that her Ladyship was welcome any time to peruse their fine selection of gardenware. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth my dad readily agrees to return it 'on her behalf'.

He had been mistaken for an Aristocrat's flunky.
(Northern Lovely, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 10:01, Reply)

whatswiththemonkey...
...I don't think there's ever been any such thing as the Irish throne; before Ireland was conquered by the British it didn't have a single ruler, afterwards it was a republic.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 9:49, Reply)

Zzzzzz
Not me, but a mate ...
was interviewing the King of Tonga when he suddenly fell asleep - the King, that is. My mate wasn't sure what the protocol was for waking up a 400 pound absolute monarch so he just quietly got up and left the room. (One can imagine the King waking with a snort some time later, blinking, looking around and wondering where the strange white man had gone.)
(mudskipper, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 9:11, Reply)

First of many...
When applying for a certain loyaty card at a certain over-priced GAME selling shop, at the point of any other titles i put "lord".

I now regularly get lovley HAND WRITTEN letters telling me of the deals they do!

A bit of topic, but oh well.
Shine my boots.
(City wall is not doing much, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 9:01, Reply)

Governor General of Australia
When I was in high school (yr 11) I went to Melbourne for a UN Youth Conference. After some debates, we created a Youth Declaration that would be presented to the Governor General of Australia, Micheal Jeffery (A some-what royal man, as he is appointed by the Queen). When the day came, we were gathered around him in a room at Parliament house. Highlights of the day are as follows:

* Upon being presented with the declaration, he said "I like this, because it does not have many pages." Lazy asshole.

* A conversation between the GG and I:
GG: "And what level are you on?"
Me: "Sorry?"
GG: "What level?"
At this point in time, I don't know what the hell to say, so a few seconds pass. I eventually realize that he wants to know what grade I'm in at school.
Me: "Oh! Year eleven."
GG: "Ah."
The GG and I then stare at each other for a good 4 seconds - both wondering where to go from there. Before another word is said, somebody across the room starts making a speech, abruptly ending the conversation.

* I walked over to a table with a bunch of sandwiches on it. I started to eat a sandwich because I assumed that's what they were there for, and I wanted a god damn sandwich. I was prompted scolded for eating the first sandwich, as that was an honour only bestowed upon the worthy GG.

SO THAT THAT, GOVERNOR GENERAL MICHEAL JEFFERY! I ATE THE FIRST SANDWICH!!!! AND I HOPE YOUR MEASLY SECOND SANDWICH TASTED LIKE CRAP, AS I HAD ALREADY TAKEN THE SANDWICH VIRGINITY!
(talbo, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 8:49, Reply)

Never met any Royals.....
....but I regularly shake hands with the President.


length? i wish......
(stonersmurf stuckin' foned, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 8:01, Reply)

I recently had an encounter...
My friend's father is a prominent member of my city. Promenent meaning a Rabbi of a medium sized Synagogue.
I was at this friend's house and I needed a ride home because my car had broken down, and his father was kind enough to offer me one. Because I wasn't in a position to negotiate. I was dropped off and picked up at a fancy-shmancy hotel, and my ride was dolled up for a fancy-shmancy occaison. While I was waiting for my parents to arrive for the next leg of my journey, a limo drove up. Out of the limo came out a little man with funny little glasses. That's right, I got to wave at the Dalai Lama.

It turns out the Rabbi was part of the welcoming commitee, along with a few denominations of preists, another Rabbi, and representitives of other religions and the State.




Technically he's royality.
(The If has remembered this site., Fri 4 Aug 2006, 6:40, Reply)

Not me but
my husband has had a few bevvies with Prince Phil at the polo club, apparently Phil does tell a good mucky joke. Oh yeah and my husband is a Laird, but thats not that special. Is it?

Oh yeah and my dad's best mate was Anne's police security chap and he took a bullet for her or something.
(dwf_II, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 4:25, Reply)

Countess
My wife is technically a Countess (Her grandmother was one before the Russian Revolution). No money, lands or any castles.

Since I married her, I'm now a Count.

Or as my mates point out, a Count without the "o".
(Kaer, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 4:16, Reply)

Prince Charles
Prince Charles came to my school once. My friend Clive was one of a few boys selected to line up and meet him. I asked him afterwards what it was like and he replied, 'It was ok. I probably could have stabbed him'.
(your dad's pimp fuck you, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 3:09, Reply)

Deaf-ly Silent
Whilst working at the Commonwealth Games in Manchester back in 2002 (?), HRH Prince Phillip - the talisman of Political Correctness and tact - was being "treated" to a performance by some godawful steel drums band as part of the celebrations. There were several lucky children present in the audience also, all aged 5-11 or so. They didn't seem too enthused about the whole get-up. Dearest Phillip noticed...

Prince Phillip: "They seem awfully uninterested"
School Teacher: "They're all deaf, your Highness."

And with his usual tact, came the reply: "Well, you'd chuffing well have to be to stand here"

I made sure that went in the daily edition of the athletes' newspaper.

(* I'm pretty sure it was 'chuffing'. That's how I've always retold it, anyway)
(safetywink, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 2:28, Reply)

Many, many years ago,
when I was about two, Prince Charlie came to Australia to tour before he tied the knot with the ill fated Princess Di. I'm not sure how we ended up there but my parents took my brother and I to a polo match somewhere in Sydney that Chrlie was attending. Some time during the match, Mum wondered where I'd got to and was told by Dad 'Don't look, he's not with us.'
This was because I'd wandered inside the red tape of the royal enclosure, downed trolleys and was pissing on the ground about ten feet in front of Charlie. So there. Prince Charles has seen my dick.
( The Togaboy The world will end on, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 1:52, Reply)

She's actually quite pretty. I met her on a walkabout.
Some members of my family (not me, but I'm not bitter) got invited to tea with Prince Andrew and the Duchess of York when they were still together. A lovely time was had by all, and after it was over my brother pocketed the Duchess's teaspoon. He said he was going to have it mounted with a small engraved note saying "Fergie's Teaspoon" and the date or something, but I suspect it's sitting unwashed and wrapped in a serviette somewhere in a drawer. Or it's been sold on eBay.

My only other encounters are that Her Majesty waved to me once when I was 13, and my boss is trying to convince me it's a sound idea to photoshop our rabidly anti-royal Director's face onto my prized possession, an official portrait of HM and Prince Phillip, as a special treat for his birthday. Perhaps I'll be singing for food at the Fringe by next week.
(socialised_medicine quietly returns to Saskatchewan for Lurkfest 2007, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 1:36, Reply)

Once...in west africa
I was working in western Ghana one time, i was living in a village that was the birthplace of the first president of Ghana - respect!.

Anyway, i used to have to have "meetings" with the local chiefs of the two villages that were in and around said village, usually an opportunity for them to say they wanted money for stuff and for me to try and dodge political bullets. One of them wore board shorts and hawaiian shirts (seeing as we were by the sea like!) and the other was always asking me for a new pair of wellies seeing as he was an avid farmer....nice!
(Dogzilla, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 1:30, Reply)

My mum was a nurse in blackpool in the 70's
My mum was working in the pregnant ladies ward of the hospital and R2D2's wife (the guy inside not the actual R2D2) was giving birth..my mum met R2D2 (not R2D2 but the little chap inside) i guess he's "Star Wars Royalty".

Oh, she gave birth to a baby...not a baby R2D2 in case you were wondering.
(Dogzilla, Fri 4 Aug 2006, 1:23, Reply)

Does ecclesiastical count?
i was washing away my sins one day long ago when i still believed i committed them, and as i was coming out of Christchurch Cathedral (New Zealand) i rang smack into Dr Robert Runcie, then Archbishop of Canterbury, and knocked him on his arse.

Couldn't stop laughing as all these monks in robes (eeewwww) all tried to pick the poor bugger up.

What he was doing in NZ i have no idea but I'm sure he remembers me. Hi Bob!
(fushundchups taste better with vinegar, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 23:48, Reply)

Yes,
I met the Duke of Edinburgh in bed last night. He might be old but he still goes like the clappers.
(The Queen, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 23:38, Reply)

Never curtsy in fishing waders
Many, many moons ago, my great aunt was fly-fishing in a patch of river up in the highlands of Scotland. The side of the river she was fishing on was owned by some local laird, and on the other side was Balmoral Castle. It was late August, and the Royals were all in residence - it was fairly normal to see the occasional pair of them out on horseback on the other side of the river, or a fleet of Land Rovers heading off up onto the moors for a shoot. According to the locals, the great rule was that unless they acknowledge your presence first, you ignored them entirely.

Great aunt was in a fairly deep patch of the river, and therefore in waders, happily fishing away. Suddenly on the other side of the river she sees - who else? - the Queen Mum, who was already the Queen Mum by this stage, walking along the river bank.

The Queen Mum gives my great aunt a nod, and so my great aunt, in her excitement at actually being acknowledged by a royal, curtsies.

In her fishing waders. In four and a half feet of water. Cue the waders rapidly filling with water, my great aunt shrieking from the cold, and the Queen Mother absolutely wetting herself with laughter. Family legend.
(hakkety, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 23:33, Reply)

Charles
Met Charles (and shook his hand) along with the Duke of Westminster.. I'm no royalist, but he seemed a nice enough chap.

.. oh sorry, you were expecting an interesting story...

/coat
( ChiefWiggum typing random stuff, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 23:30, Reply)

Dirty royals
I remember from my childhood my Nanny telling me about her aunt's visit to Buckingham Palace, aparently the curtains were filty.

I visited my Nan over the weekend and she told me about her visit to the palace after the war (she was in the red cross and a year older than her). Aparently, just as you go through the enterance after leaving the carrage, either side of the door half hidden behind the curtains, were cobbeb dust ridden Yellow pages, Stacked higher than the door.
( Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 3 Aug 2006, 23:24, Reply)