I always have with me
A broken boots advantage card... That really needs fixing... I could afford a free lunch on the points! Free feeding!!!!
(iydlibm ...If I Am Online Here, I Am Definatly Bored..., Tue 1 Nov 2005, 13:08, Reply)

humpty dumpty was pushed
do you do custom stuff? a mate has had his scalp pierced with 5 studs and needs some things made with internal threads in surgical grade s/steel....
mail me if so?
ta
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 13:07, Reply)

A Schwa Corporation "Planet Operator Interdimensional Travel Card"
A credit card type, erm, card which entitles me to one Schwa planet manipulation.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 13:04, Reply)

Every where i go...
I carry my penis.

One day it will come in usefull.
(bambo, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 12:36, Reply)

In my pocket i have....
A fortune cookie... well not an actual fortune cookie, because by now I would be carrying around crumbs in my pocket. Which, by the way, is almost as bad a crumbs in you bed!

What I actually have is the fortune from a fortune cookie. It reads 'THE SOCIAL SCENE CAN BE FUN TODAY'

I keep this as a memento of a day that was fun ... socially. I was on a work trip to a exhibition / conference in LA. On the last night a number of colleges (and competitors) arranged dinner at PF Chang's and it was a fairly dull affair.

Anyway on receiving my fortunate fortune I got it into my head that I was going to get as much fun out of the bores as possible, it was my destiny. So with that and a tray full of tequila i started the proceedings.

Leaving out most of the haziness, a co-worker ended up breaking his own finger for a dare, a guy from disliked competing firm broke down and confessed to everyone he was gay but could never tell anyone. One guy’s room at the hotel hosed 9 people and six buckets of sick. And I ended up sleeping with not one but two Mexican beauties. How’s that for a fortune!


So I carry this fortune always, as a two-fold reminder.

1)
Sometimes all you need to have fun is a little persuasion. Destiny will never fail you.

and

2)
When work gets you down, your co-workers are just as corruptible as everybody else.
(bambo, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 12:34, Reply)

A USB cable
for my mp3 player (which incidentally is not always carried) and my lucky Jim Dunlop plectrum under my watch.
(The Crotch, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 12:34, Reply)

Not a lot
Just the sense of dread that the whole world hates me and that no one ever presses the 'I like this' button on my posts on B3TA.

: - (
(myohmy, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 12:33, Reply)

A bottle opener and a valid form of picture ID
The former is because you never know when you may need to open a bottle of bier, and the latter because it is required under Dutch law.
( coder.keitaro I like pies!, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 11:51, Reply)

My American lawyer friend
Used to carry around a Pocket Constitution.

What perplexed me most is why the hell anyone would make a Pocket Constitution in the first place.

Happy Birthday Ogwen.
( Pachey, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 11:35, Reply)

I dont carry things in my pockets....
and i dont have a bag. But since i need so many things to survive in this modern world i have created my own batman like utility belt - on it i have......

House keys
Car keys
PSP
Mobile phone (of course)
ipod
digi cam
PDA
swiss army knife (with plenty of doo-hickys for any forseeable problem)
business card holder
and a psp games holder

Pretty weighty but i cant leave the house without my trust utility belt



kramit out........
(kramit http://lpjam.blogspot.com/ woo yay, blog spam, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 11:30, Reply)

I don't know if these count as essential but.........
At the moment I have only one interesting item that I carry everywhere, this being a small transformer (toy). I find it very handy when waiting around or sitting in lectures so I can play with it to avoid death by boredom. It is also very useful for getting kids to shut up (I just have to make sure they don't swallow it). In the past I have also carried round the following for extended periods.
A bouncy ball- similar reasons as the transformer but I lost it down a drain. Also bouncing a ball against a wall doesn't make you as cool as Steve McQueen, it does annoy the neighbours though.
Books of matches- I don't smoke but they're very handy for writing phone number etc. down on.
A copper band- it turned my arm green, but it made me feel better about cracking my knuckles.
A multitool- the scissors kept stabbing me in the leg so I don't carry it anymore, piece of junk.
An old 50p coin with a Christmas scene on the back- no idea where that is now but I spent many an English lesson doing rubbing of it.
A lingerie catalogue- not for the obvious reason! It actually had names and e-mail addresses of people I met.
I think that's enough to have me certified, sorry about the length but I've been waiting to do this for 4 days (it really should be funnier shouldn't it).
(penguinitis, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 10:30, Reply)

I always have...
A panther deterring rock.

You see any fecking panthers in Portsmouth? No? Thought so.
(geeker needs a new hard drive :-|, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 9:59, Reply)

Car - essential items ALWAYS carried
I do loads of scatter rallies/autotests/PCT's in a battered old Pug205. My car being old and french it often breaks.

Therefore I always have in the car:

Approx 100 Zip Ties
Roll of Duct Tape
Swiss Army knife

I will fix ANYTHING on my car with that lot, including zip tying a bumper back on after an argument with a fence, and strapping together a radiator hose with Duct Tape.

Not tried fixing a tyre or brakes yet but hey....

oh yeah, this is the motor club I am in - not that you'll be interested.
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 8:14, Reply)

Pachey's mate....
In this post looks to have the same incurable bowel disease as me. Fortunately I am now in remission due to vast quantities of steroids (w00t) however up until recently I always carried spare boxers and a roll of andrex, just in case I got the Urge.

I would have worn pampers but I'm 28 tomorrow.

Wish me happy birthday then!
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 7:56, Reply)

Emergency bus money
I always carry emergency bus money. Quite why I'd ever need a bus in an emergency I've no idea. An ambulance would seem more apt.

I also still have a receipt in my wallet from 1989.
(Bonedwarf is the size of a lemon, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 7:07, Reply)

Bogroll...
...sufficient for one visit. I absolutely fucking HATE it when certain gastro-intestinal urges visit and the most vital component bar the seat itself is missing. I consider it as as vital as antihistamines & Epipen in case I get attacked by wasps and it would be a lot less embarassing to asphyxiate from anaphylactic shock than it would be to walk the streets unwiped.
( wingpig wish I'd known about liquify eighteen years ago, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 6:01, Reply)

what do i carry?
im starting to carry a full set of 12 coloured textas and 4 diffrent childrens stamps.

i may look like a day care supervisor, but i havent paid to get into a gig or bar in ages.
(ru-fi-OH!, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 2:53, Reply)

Nothing interesting really
I always wear a stripy wrist band that I stole from a festival, and I always have a plectrum in my right pocket (never the left).
( Brown cow, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 2:42, Reply)

What I always carry
A philips screwdriver. Initially I had it as a security thing ever since I was mugged as a child, then it became useful in repairing various electronics, namely PCs.
(Bodster, Tue 1 Nov 2005, 0:09, Reply)

a big list of clever replies



..but i lost it, obviously.
(harmless kitty, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 23:50, Reply)

Not me personally ...
... but one of my work colleagues carries a dog-eared handwritten copy of the lyrics to 'Walking in Memphis' in his wallet. Go figure.
(painreliever Lurker extraordinaire, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 23:32, Reply)

Because nothing pisses me off more than a droopy snare drum...
I carry a drum key. You'd be surprised how often one comes in handy.
(johnseeking, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 22:19, Reply)

I'm lazy
I usually have loads of empty wrappers in my pockets.. some of them not even mine. Bus tickets, plectrums and the like. In my wallet I have 2 paracetemol tablets that are 2 years old as well as a stomach ache tablet that also shares the same age. There are a few more plectrums in there as well.
My friend also carries a red shark shaped bottle opener which we named 'Wankfish'.
( Flowers the little boy that santa claus forgot, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 21:20, Reply)

My Kitten Purse
I have this amazing purse with a picture of two kittens on one side. It's the most cutest kitty purse in the universe.

Inside my kitten purse I have,

- Green highway sunglasses from 1960
- A beaded coin purse for condoms
- meds
- handcream for my chappy, chapped skin
- a pink fuzzy wallet
- womany makeup
- a cassette tape for school (radio broadcasting)
- Sony digital recorder
- an array of coloured pens
- a red bird-shaped barrett
- keys
- bit of red yarn and
- A James Herriot book
All in all, a well rounded collection.
(Arctix, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 21:03, Reply)

Buttttt Pluggggg.
If you skip back to "lost" as a QOTW, I told you about a tiny vibrator I made and subsequently lost.

To continue the line of Humpty-Made metal sex-toys, I discovered the joy of manufacturing butt-plugs in my spare time at work. I have limitless supplies of surgical-grade stainless steel, so it's free and fun.

Now... If your missus enjoys a digit in the tradesman's entrance, She'll enjoy a discreet butt plug. It fills that gap and tranfers movement... But if it's a steel one, it is FAR cooler as it has some serious inertia. As she moves, (or as you move her) it'll wobble around :o) Rather enjoyable. I have friends who have asked for one... thier missuses report similar satisfaction.

Anyhow, Science of anal toys aside, I will bring you on to my latest creation :o)

Although not of normal or traditional design, this more batton-like toy has a secret. The reason for the paradigm-breaking shape is this ... Half of the mass of this thing is internal steel balls that rattle back and forwards when you move it. Before you ask, it's 3 pieces welded together, (with balls in tube-bit) and then machined and polished. Mercury would have been better than balls .. but it's hard to come by.

The idea is that while giving the lucky recipient a good shafting, the balls will rattle back and forwards, and give added sensation: theory as-yet un-tested. It tinkles rather loudly, and Finished with one of my old 2.4mm Titanium BCRs, it looks kinda cute.

To cut a long story short, I habitually walk around work with a rattling butt-plug in my pocket. The "dink-dink-dink" as I walk makes me smile :o)
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Mon 31 Oct 2005, 18:24, Reply)

Essential Items
I carry a little box of wax around with me for some odd reason.
(Charlie-M, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 17:41, Reply)

Normally carry round:
A Tuning Fork. "Concert-pitch" A above middle C(440 htz).

For maintining wavelength accuracy in stringed instruments.......and nipples.
(Lo-Fi Foetus, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 17:06, Reply)

in my pockets
i carry a card case (with 1 card)
cheque book (with 1 spare cheque)
some bonus bonds (about 25 quid)
HMV voucher for 20 quid
2/3 eaten packet of rennie
canon mints (in a case with canon emblazzened onit)
my life on some string (quite short string)
an old condom (never used)
keys for my pad
Rohypnol (for those nights in)
picture of my ex ex girlfriend (for mastabating)
hmm thats it
( awallafashagba Da da da da da Dah dah, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 16:22, Reply)

only when travelling on the train I take the following items in a rucksack
My magic bag contians the following items that keep me safe whilst on the train

A hairy werewolf Glove circa 1982
300m of nylon string
A clean pair of leopard print underpants
300g of kendal mint cake
some bird seed (about a handfull not in any container)
A signed picture of dusty bin and ted rodgers
A carrier bag half full of human hair
Chopsticks
Cuban Cigar
A recipie for clam chowder
A tiny totem poll featuring a skunk, a monkey and a pterodactyl.

and a return train ticket
(barronshark, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 15:15, Reply)

debatable whether actualy essential
I got back from a weekend in Amsterdam last night.

Upon unpacking at home, in my pockets I found a gram of orange bud, half a gram of super citral, some mexican haze and a small amount of bubblegum.

Oops.
(Ali Bongo 9000 Ali Bongo 9000, Mon 31 Oct 2005, 15:08, Reply)