Michael Winner
Not sure if he's already been put through the mill here, but it couldn't hurt to put him through again. It's the smugness of the man, it radiates out of him like a kind of poisonous sunshine. He so self-satisfied it makes me angry to look at a mere picture of his restaurant fed, disaster of a head. Oooooooh, the fuckwit. I think he should be tied to a chair and force fed shit by all the worst chefs he's slated, with Westlife providing live music and taking turns to bum him vigorously. I'd take bets on him still looking pleased with himself.
(impossibly witty twat No, YOUR Mum etc etc, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:25, 1 reply)

Between you and me, I don't trust that Gary Glitter
I've heard he's a bit too fond of the younger ladies, if you catch my drift...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Cheryl fucking Cole
I seem to be the only person to remember that she is a big racist thug, like a skinny Nick Griffin in a daft lampshade dress, and her accent makes me want to tear my ears off and shit in them.
( Queen of Cheesecake, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:13, 11 replies)

Brian Sewell
Brian Sewell may or may not actually be a nice man. He may know what he's talking about. The problem is that everytime the smug cunt comes onscreen the sight of his smug cunt face and hearing his smug, smug, SMUG cunt voice makes me instantly want to hurt him.
How can you hear his voice and not want to pour superglue over your biggest, heaviest boots then go stand in a skip full of broken glass before clogdancing on his cuntoid face?

Also, Kurt Cobain. If there's any justice to the afterlife the winging,junkie twat is spending eternity getting buttraped by rhinos.
(Big D, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:13, 4 replies)

Oh the angst

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:48, 1 reply)

Dear points of view,
Is there anyone on British television with less talent than Ann Robinson? She has somehow built a career out of reading from an autocue (points of view), grilling chief executives of British Gas (watchdog) and mocking members of the public (weakest link). She is truly AWFUL at all these things. As far as I can see, the only things she really excels in are boasting about how much money she's got and drinking. AND she seems to revel in the fact that she's a complete bitch and a shit mother.... this country.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:46, 2 replies)

I noticed we had a fair few celeb deaths last year.
Every night I went to bed clinging to the hope that Ricky Gervais would be the next one. I don't understand why the fat-faced egocentric greasy-haired giraffe penis continues to live in this world, and that they're MAKING me share a planet with him. He made The Orafice (and only made two series of that because he's a lazy fuck) and then the horrendously appalling "Extras" (so called because that was his pet name for his co-actors and "star" guests), a show made entirely so that morons pining over the loss of The Orafice were able to pretend it was still on. Then he did stand-up, and went down in history as the world's first stand-up whose audience were paid to go and see him.

I get up every morning, look out the window and see all the stabbings on the street, and the petty crimes against our society, I watch the news and see people like myself in massive debt, disaster in Haiti, unrest and war... and I think, it would all be more bearable if Gervais' ugly face was long expired and rotting somewhere below the ground.

Oh, any Amy Winehouse. What a cunt. I have seriously seen drains more attractive than her.
(Zgrzyt My dog gets more Christmas cards than I do., Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:45, Reply)

There are a few people I dislike, although as many people have said, 'hate' is a bit too 'strong' a word.
I mean, it wouldn't stop me crossing the road to piss on them if they were on fire. In no particular order.
Alan Davies - Yup, that one. My first job involved 'high end' bespoke timber buildings, and Davies ordered one to house his precious Arsenal FC memorabilia. He was arrogant, rude and a thoroughly self-absorbed bloke. (Straight out of the 'don't you know who I am' camp) This was back in '99 so hopefully time has mellowed him, but he did nothing to sweeten the Client/Company relationship and try and make it work. (Although it did go smoothly in the end)
Adam Sandler a man made bearable in only one movie because of his co-star Kathy Bates. I've tried - I've slaved - to sit through his movies, but they really don't do anything for me, and it boils down to him.
Michael McIntyre - or rather, 50% of him. I think his material is funny, (for the most part) but his delivery is so cringe-inducingly awful. First rule of comedy - make the audience laugh, not yourself.
Paul Dacre - C*nt
The entire ITV Evening News crew - Streaming fear into your living room at the touch of a button
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:44, 1 reply)

I don't have a problem with anyone famous
But I heard Jamie Oliver say that Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis were bummers

*grabs popcorn*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Jeremy Vine
gggrrrrrhhhhh, I shudder at the thought. Went to work in a new place where the average staff age was, well, about 20 years more than me. So they all listened religiously to Radio 2. The tail end of Wogan I could handle but I dreaded that twat rolling round. Set my teeth on edge. The voice, the opinions, the moral-high-ground-holier-than-thou-lowest-common-denominator-smuggy-turd-spewing arse wank.

*shudders again*

Tried to retune the radio. Overruled. Campaigned for silence instead. Denied. I left.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:31, 1 reply)

Rob Brydon
Seems to equate saying things in a Welsh accent with being a comedian.
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:23, 1 reply)

Derek Brockway
Weatherman to the Welsh, I just find something altogether EVIL about him.


Go on, look at 'im.

I have actually met the guy, seemed nice enough for a gay :p But he's still sinister.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:13, 3 replies)

Jude Law
I’ve always had an intense dislike for this man and I have no idea why.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:10, Reply)

Sir Jimmy of Saville
Not really my story, more my mum's, but there is a twisted resentment of the man somewhere in her maternal psyche. You see, it's not even the obvious things which make her detest him. Yes, he's northern, a prolific smoker, not particularly amusing, and single-handedly legitimised the combination of sportswear and inactive lifestyles. My mum takes all that in her stride.

What fucks her off is his charity work.

'Charity work?' you ask yourselves in confusion. Yes, charity work.

Despite being from Leeds, Sir Jim pledges a lot of time to an establishment down south called Stoke Mandeville Hospital, of which my mum previously worked as a nurse. The directors love him there. New spinal ward open? Get a handshake with Jimmy as a pulls a drag on a cigar. Front page stuff for the local rag. Need someone to cheer the patients up? Send in Jimmy to do his radio dj stuff.

While it's all in good fun, think of the implications. You're assisting a heart surgery - delicate operation in a sterile room - when all of a sudden an 80 year old in polyester bursts through the door screaming 'Righto righto!' with a couple of cameramen on his heels. He's smoking too. Smoking around oxygen tanks and over a man's exposed heart. 4 hours of work undone by cigar ash.

The only tarnish on my mum's medical record is laying into a retired radio dj and expelling him from operating rooms for continually endangering patients and staff. 7 times.

Every time you see him on tv, she launches into a full on tirade of obscenities that would make a sailor blush. Makes me so proud to be her offspring.
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Fri 5 Feb 2010, 9:01, 10 replies)

Anyone who is famous but isn't very good at what they are famous for
I don't really hate celebrities, because I prefer not to hate people I've never met (ooh, get me), but I do get annoyed when people become famous, seemingly overnight, but aren't actually any good at the thing they are famous for.

As a double-header starter for ten: Russel Brand and Alan Carr.
Now, I was led to believe that these two are comedians. Could have fooled me. Brand looks like he smells, is a pompous, self-loving twat who thinks THAT SHOUTING IN THE MIDDLE of a sentence for now reason, and reading a newspaper on stage is funny. If I want witticisms on the news I'll chat to the barflys in my local. They probably smell better too.
As for Carr, this is a man who obviously thought Graham Norton was a tad too butch, and consequently got himself a big fat contract with Channel 4... not long after Norton went to the BBC. Coincidence?

There's others too:
Mark Wahlberg. Supposedly an actor, but is utterly dreadful in everything. He wanders through films looking confused like he's walked in from another film. Except Boogie Nights where he plays a character who has to wander through the film looking confused like he's walked in from another film.
Who still gives Uwe Bolle money to make movies? This man has NEVER directed a good movie, yet seems to get the money to make one every year.
Phil Neville: six Premier League titles, three FA Cups and the European Cup, over 50 England caps... but no one knows what position he plays in, because he's shit at all of them.
Bands who wear those stupid ultra-tight jeans and ratty old leather jackets that are two sizes too small: They get famous because of what they wear, not because of the music, which is shite.
Yes, razorlight, I'm looking at you. And thanks to them Top Man now think XXS is an acceptable size of men's clothes. XXS is not a men's size. That's a Medium Kids size. Not that I want to buy clothes from TopMan anmymore, it's just that being in my 30s my options on the high street are limited enough as it is.

There's probably more, but this is descending into a list...so I'll stop
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 8:56, 4 replies)

The Kennedys. Fucking all of them
Got away with it though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 8:55, 1 reply)

Dave Chappelle
My god the unfunny cunt is on all the fucking time, playing on friends' laptops and the like. Piss, off! Nothing he's ever done (I've seen all of them) was ever funny, aside from maybe, if you push it, the black KKK leader. Is it just me who can't stand him?

Also, pretty much all the "comedians" on Comedy Central who are real people and not animated. There are a few exceptions, I'll agree, but most of the humour there these days is watered-down retardedness at best. Sarah Silverman's show is a perfect example, and it's made me hate her with a passion. She used to be funny! What happened?

The others would probably just amount to a list of singers whose songs piss me off; I guess that doesn't really count.
( morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 8:51, 1 reply)

Accents
Not really people but their accents really wind me up.

Anything south of the equator! Most are nasal and whining, eg Zane (fuckin I'm bored) Lowe, any Africunt accent from SA, and then the Aussies / NZ's. Even if you ignore what they are saying, their accents come across as though they have had too much XXXX.

I know they can't help it, but they fuckin grate.
(Suck it and Sea, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 8:35, 9 replies)

Philip Scofield
I'm not quite sure why, but I think it might be something to do with that shit-eating way that he opens his mouth wide enough to swallow an oil tanker with every vowel he pronounces.

I'd like to hack him to pieces, inch-by-inch, with a plasma cutter, until there is nothing left of him but a screaming, eyeless head connected to a pair of lungs and a pounding heart pumping the last of his foul blood out of his body.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 8:32, Reply)

Celebrity Sex Nightmares
Don't exactly hate her, but can't bring myself to think of Kirstie Alley without a slight shudder. Had a horrible dream many years ago (like, when Cheers was still on, and I was a teenage girl) about fucking her rather vigorously in my empty bathtub. Don't know why, it was awkward and uncomfortable and not very much fun, and she kept screaming "Carl Alexander!" for reasons unknown, to which I responded by slapping her in the face and whisper-shouting "Shut up! You're going to wake up my parents!" Gahhhh... Kirstie Alley...

Had a run of celebrity sex nightmares in those years, now that I think of it. Tyra Banks in a dingy, hot, smoky, squalid trailer, barely dressed in terrible leopard-print dollar-store lingerie, furiously horny, masturbating stickily, requesting my assistance. Don't care much for her either. And of course that one about Rosie O'Donnell and her demonic half-goat husband with the mutant cock. That was bad too.

Thanks God once I got to university the celebrity dreams turned lovely, Sinead O'Connor serenading me in a public bathroom and that sort of thing. But really, why can't I just forget this shit like other people do?
(iron_pigtail, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 8:05, 2 replies)

Thank goodness for digital TV
Until about 2 years ago I was still on analogue, 4 channel telly - 4 as you can't pick up Channel 5 this far south. My morning waking up routine would involve belting the alarm clock and switching on GMTV to imagine what Kate Garroways tits would look like if she had no clothes on. Only it wasn't always Kate Garroway on the sofa. Fiona Phillips. Dizzy, patronising, those staring eyes... god, I'm having a rage seizure just thinking about her. The cunt.

I have 6music to wake up to now. Hurrah for Shaun Keaveny.
(Grobie, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 7:57, 1 reply)

Who gets on my nerves?

My osteopath.

And I pay him to do it.
(roysin, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 7:55, 6 replies)

I hate celebrity in general.
I mean, fuck, I live 40 miles from Los Angeles. It's a constant thing that the freeways are closed down because Tom Cruise is filming a movie, or you can't go into a restaurant because some celeb is in there and therefore the queue is a mile long.
Or there's the time you do go to a restaurant and some fucking celebrity is in there so because of the screaming fans you can't enjoy a nice meal with your loved one.

Or, hitting up Starbucks in a morning for coffee, and Dean Koontz* turns around and knocks into you and spills scalding hot coffee on you and just says "oops, sorry" and doesn't even attempt to clean it up, even when you call him a stupid fuck and get the "do you know who I am" line.

Or, when you're in a certain restaurant and Travis Barker from Blink 182* gets that fucking drunk that he barfs all over the place and continues barfing as he goes out the door.

And never mind Tom Green* being in the bar and stealing your crutches and poking fun at you for being a cripple.

* all true encounters

Edit: And just to counteract the above, I bumped into Dean Koontz another time and he was intrigued by my accent. We chatted a few minutes and he was actually lovely. And bought my coffee for me.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 7:26, 1 reply)

Weird Al Yankovich
i cant stand the talentless hack.....No hang on....that's wrong - i love Weird Al! Sorry i think i missed the point here! :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 7:13, Reply)

One word invokes hate
Bono.
(Snapper-head loves a twinky anytime but especially when it's, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 6:40, 1 reply)

Gotta be andrew (?)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujZsFOGT-Ko

This Christmas video and the guy in it. Andy...

I don't 'hate' anyone, but what i actually hate is the fact that i cannot figure out if it's a parody or satire, or it's actually real and designed to actually encourage people to (and i will quote)

'Get out of bed it's going to be a good Daa-AAAY !"

To a video of this guy invading most of the screen, lisping shrieking and smiling inanely at the camera before breaking to a microsoft paint-esque background in which he 'walks' by flapping about and staring strangely at the audience and sings this incredible song...

Is he real? Is he an actor (like Devvo with his chav stuff)? Is he genuinely trying to persuade the world that a close up of his face will encourage us to have a good day?

Is he simple (no offence intended if that's the fucking case)?

Is he a genius?

I cannot figure it out..... arararagahahagha...!!1! *



* I've watched other equally strange videos of him which only serve to further confuse!
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 3:46, 1 reply)

Mika
I have to admit, back when his music first began to be played - before it started to get played constantly to the point of hatred - I actually quite liked him. So obviously when he announced a gig at my university, I got tickets. However, by the time of the gig, he had become rather massive and you couldn't turn on a radio without being bombarded by his singles. So my patience for him was wearing a little thin by then, but I went to the gig anyhow. Maybe I would enjoy it!

Truth be told, it was actually quite good in a nothing-special-but-a-nice-night-out way. But I certainly wasn't wanting to listen to him again in a hurry. Regardless, I decided, along with some of my friends, that we would lurk at the stage door of the students union and see if we could get an autograph.

Sure enough, he came out after about 10 minutes and began signing our gig tickets with autographs and dedications.....but when he got to me, and asked what my name was, when I told him I was called Dave he looked at me, laughed and said "You look more like a sissy to me", and dedicated my ticket to "Sissy". He then went back inside laughing before I could say a word, and had his burly minders hustle myself and my friends away.

From what I heard through some friends who went to other of his gigs, and one who was venue security at a gig he played, he often did similar random pranks on fans during that tour, as well as refusing to be photographed with any male or adult female fans, only teenage girls, and generally acting like a diva.

Personally I think all this, combined with his refusal to comment on his sexuality, may suggest he is DEEPLY in denial or self-loathing about his sexuality.
(Lord of Balrogs, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 3:45, 1 reply)

You'll hate me for this
Bernard Bresslaw. And I've never figured out why.

Siiiid!
( thewhatofwhom Um... whom?, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 3:18, 1 reply)

FAmous people I hate?
That Dave Cunt.

He's not a person he's a whole fucking channel. I like Top Gear, I have no qualms admitting that, but really do we really need it covering 6 hours a day EVERY FUCKING DAY. It's either that or 15yo episode of HIGNFY.

If you're the Dave that named this channel. You're a cunt!
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 2:44, Reply)