Years ago...
My mate and I were on our way to a fancy dress party, both of us dressed as coppers. We decided it would be a laugh to see if we could actually pull someone over, and when some random cretin screamed past us at 140mph then pulled up at the lights about 100 yards down the road, well, we had our man.

Thing was, when we got to the car, there was a nervous and slightly teary 10 yr old girl in the passenger seat. The driver must have been in a slightly panicked state, because he immediately blurted out that this wasn't his daughter, and he was "babysitting".

Starting to feel like we may have accidentally stumbled upon something quite sinister and our 'joke' may well be about to turn extremely sour, we tentatively asked about the nature of their relationship, and before you can say "entirely fictional", the guy's lost it. The red mist descended and he tore out of the car and pummeled straight into me. I ended up with a black eye, a split lip, a bloody nose and, if I'm honest, a bit of a semi.

Then he reached into his pocket and retrieved his phone, which was apparently recording. No idea why. He switched it off, got back in his car and drove away.

Still don't fully understand what happened, but the incident haunts me to this day.
(Joy Division Oven Gloves Death to false metal, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:53, 23 replies)

Bosh!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:55, closed)

excellent work

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:01, closed)

I don't normally approve,
but this is pretty good.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:17, closed)

YES!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:20, closed)

This is how you internet.
9.5/10
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:38, closed)

This is definitely the best
thing I've read all year!
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:41, closed)

Magnificent internet.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:44, closed)

Very very well done

( Peej, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:54, closed)

Excellent work.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 14:13, closed)

bravo sir

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 14:33, closed)

Absolutely fucking fantastic.

( Muns, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 15:00, closed)

Well played sir.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 1 Nov 2013, 15:12, closed)

Stop the internet.
We have a winner.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 15:31, closed)

Simply superb

( .Yeti., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 15:49, closed)

Sometimes it's fate.
Well done.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 1 Nov 2013, 17:28, closed)

Oh, I say!

( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 1 Nov 2013, 17:32, closed)

I'm guessing it's a film or TV reference
but fucked if I can work it out. De-ris for the thick guy at the back?
(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_(_ =o.o=, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 17:43, closed)

Here you are
www.b3ta.com/questions/purefury/post2107021
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 21:08, closed)

GET IN YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 23:15, closed)

this made me pull the :-D face until I ached

( vladimir, Sat 2 Nov 2013, 12:55, closed)

As Churchill once said...
"Oh yes"
(Thor McLegend FUCK SHITPANTS PAC MAN, Sat 2 Nov 2013, 23:36, closed)

Good work.
Cunt.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sun 3 Nov 2013, 13:02, closed)

click
feel the power of the nonce punch
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 4 Nov 2013, 12:54, closed)