A bad experience with an older lady....
I put 6 oysters up her velvet pocket but sucked out 7. I'm not sure what the extra one was.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 15:52, 22 replies)

I...
...may be sick.
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 15:53, closed)

D:
!!!
(Usernameless Wooh, scary. Not really., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 15:54, closed)

Grrrrim
*click*
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 15:56, closed)

Medical Mystery
Or maybe her previous appointment for the day also had a seafood quim fetish.

Best of luck now we are in an economic downturn, wonder if you will get a bird wanting whelks/cockles licked out of her front bottom.
(TAZ220 Not giving a toss since, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 15:57, closed)

Or cockles and mussels
Alive alive-oh
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 19:31, closed)

I've heard that Molly Malone
was actually a hooker. So maybe that was meant by fishmonger - anyway, she sold something that smelled kind of sea-kitteny.

As for the twat-oyster from the original post...ew. *barfs*
(lanternchikk hat eine schwere Bohlenallergie, Sat 8 Aug 2009, 22:51, closed)

*bokes*
*lols*
*clicks*

You sick, strange little man.
( Sunburn Go on.... It's character building!, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:03, closed)

Oh
that made me audibly go "euurrrrrgghghhh"

Now I look like the nutter I am to the rest of my colleagues!
(dchurch bah, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:03, closed)

.......ok that really made me feel very uncomfortable!
*click*
( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:07, closed)

You flunk history and get sent to alaskan military school!
\o/ AICMFP
( Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:34, closed)

BOGUS!

( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:53, closed)

How the shuddering fuck
do you get oysters in a foo-foo?

I'm guessing shoe-horn and a large syringe.

*click*
( Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:32, closed)

Elderly foo-foo is much easier
They are usually the size and consistency of a wet rubber glove, and the oysters just slide in with ease.
( sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 17:14, closed)

*shudder*
and lots of lols

*clicky*
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 16:44, closed)

May one presume the oysters were shucked?

(Donkey Hotay Tilting At Windmills Since, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 18:34, closed)

a little bit
of vomit just came up...


click
( zulu eh?, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 19:39, closed)

Ooo....
Very good, I hadn't imagined it was possible to stifle a laugh with vomit...
(Captain Kenneth 's Greatest Hits on sale now, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 19:55, closed)

Hahaha, the old ones, are indeed the old ones :)
nicely put into an answer though :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 20:29, closed)

Reminds me of a joke I heard in primary school...
What is worse than having to shove 5 pickled eggs up your granny's flange?


Sucking 6 back out!
(OTT, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 20:34, closed)

Ew.
Just ew.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 6:23, closed)

......
Oh.

Oh god.

Just........ok, a tad queasy now...
(Fleximus Rex briefly gave up lurking on, Sat 8 Aug 2009, 16:47, closed)

Never
have I tried oyster, although I was curious.

Not any more...
(suicidalducky has too much time on his hands, Tue 11 Aug 2009, 3:50, closed)