Hanging out at a brewery in Berlin
with my friend, we were joined by a number of other Americans who were attracted by the familiar accents. Among them was a girl named Marta, with long curling brown hair and a pretty face, who was becoming increasingly interested in me as we chatted. I had absolutely no intent of it going beyond the friendly chatter over a beer, but she was becoming increasingly friendly as the beer flowed.

She was telling me of her university studies, and how she had ended up in Berlin. She told me of her ex boyfriend, who she had broken up with because he was getting far too serious and wanted to have kids, where she was not ready for that sort of commitment. So of course I asked her age.

She was six months younger than my youngest child. And snuggling closer as we talked.

I felt my age hit harder in that moment than I had in years.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 17:22, 7 replies)

It was pointed out to me
When it was brought to my attention that I still say channel-changer for remote control, picture house for cinema and the worst offence, I use Sky+ to "tape" things.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 17:08, 3 replies)

The station where the 90s survive
Was just in Currys.

A radio was tuned to a station dedicated to the 90s.
The decade that gave us Reservoir Dogs.

"K-Billy's Super Sounds of the 90s just keeps on truckin'.
Here's the Soup Dragons."
( Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:45, Reply)

I'm 29
Was in a pub the other day when I noticed a 20ish year old guy wearing a new pair of jeans. They had a fuck off big emblem on the back pocket proudly boasting something along the lines "Vintage and Original, since 1982".

Since when is the year of my birth classified as fucking vintage?
( Rusty Shackleford www.junt.co.uk / @joeyrobbo, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:26, 3 replies)

Have been in hospital the past few weeks...
...and whilst I was looking a little worse for wear, my 51 year-old ego took a big hit when a nurse asked me if I had just had a nice visit from my "lovely daughter".
The nurse was actually referring to my wife, and no, there's not a huge age difference between us.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:23, 3 replies)

I took my child to see the Top Cat film.
For the last thirty + years my childhood interpretation of the Hanna Barbera classic had led me to believe it was brilliant writing demonstrating how a rakish wit and some good old fashioned front could make the world a better place even when things were hard.

I wasn't the only adult walking out of that cinema shaking their head in disbelief at not only the loss of ninety non-returnable minutes but the rape of a memory.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:22, 8 replies)

You're old if...
...you use the term "camera phone".
(Kushan just wants to fit in..to your mum, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:21, 3 replies)

Tri-weekly => try weekly => try, weakly
Worry is the first time you can't do it the second time;
Fear is the second time you can't do it the first time.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:13, 1 reply)

When you can't wank more than 5 times a day

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:08, 7 replies)

i know i'm getting old
young mums let me get on the bus first
salesmen call me Madam
i get at least one letter a week from saga/over 50 life insurance companies
i have not one but three cardies
i actively enjoy knitting
a cup of tea and comfy slippers make me go "oooohhh"
bbc2 has become far more appealing

i'm 37. fuck knows what i'll be like at 47, probably crumbling into dust.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:03, 11 replies)

Just had one...
Walking through town in today's spectacular wind, a young woman walking towards me had her dress suddenly blown up just as we got close.

I must be getting past it: my automatic reaction was to avert my gaze to save her embarassment...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Night In-Out
Last weekend, making a lame excuse on the day for not going to the Parenclub as I wanted to have an early night.
(fire_exit, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Waking up
at five in the morning and watching something incomprehensible on open university because the magic roundabout comes on at six.
(Shamelesspendant Better dead then smeg., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:50, 1 reply)

I'm old
I turned 30 this year, our first child is due in August and I genuinely drive a Honda accord, stick that it your pipe and smoke it (probably whilst wearing slippers and drinking horlicks)
( Phil McCavity, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:31, 2 replies)

You know what these are.


Extra points if you still have some.

Super extra points if you have loose ones in case you need spares.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:28, 21 replies)

TV
It is clear how old we become when we recall tv shows being great and draw blank looks from people who think fancy new shows like Captain Planet or Power Rangers are 'classics'.

I got a bit excited (not sure why) about season 2 of Mysterious Cities of Gold now going into production and old school friends were also giving the same reaction but even my wife hadn't heard of it. Might as well get back to watching Mooncat.
(bluehamster, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

How young!
As a security precaution when doing IT type stuff for the students here at the uni wot I work at we ask for their date of birth....

Turns out the majority of them were born the year I left school...

I feel old now :(
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Shitting myself in Tescos.
Bending over to check out the grapes, I thought I wanted to fart but instead shit myself. I minced back to the car feeling it dribbling down my legs. There is no way you can bounce around driving for 15 minutes without it getting absolutely fucking everywhere. My girlfriends laughter still haunts me, she literally couldn't breathe with hysterics when I got home.
I never trust a fart now, there is always an element of suspicion it could be a pant filler.
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:14, 2 replies)

there she was,
19 years old, beautiful, flawless skin, incredible legs, walking down the high street in full clubbing gear. Perfect breasts in no need of support, as evidenced by her backless micro dress that plunged down to her incredibly tight bum and stopped not far below it.

I looked at her and thought to myself

"she's going to be freezing without a coat on".
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:11, 3 replies)

I'll pearoast this
In 2005, I enrolled at my former 6th Form college to do a couple of A levels. I would be in classes with kids half my age and I wondered how I might be received. Fortunately I wasn't shunned as some weird outsider that would be on the watchlist of social services and pretty much got on with everybody.

The college broke up for Xmas and on my return in the new year, a good many of my classmates brandished iPods. I however didn't as I'm not keen on listening to music through earphones. In maths, the teacher would allow us to listen to music whilst working through an exercise book and I was pretty much the only one in the class that didn't have an iPod. This would not do.

The next lesson, we were working through a trigonometry exercise and people were plugging in their iPods so I fished out of my bag my answer to this ubiquitous over-hyped music device. A 20 year old Aiwa personal stereo, complete with battery cover held in place with red electricians tape. It drew considerable attention. Do kids nowadays have no knowledge of older technology? When I was their age, I knew what a Dansette record player was and that it played 78s, and TVs that could be fixed by your dad belting the side of it with his shoe and I could even have recognised a gramophone.

But no, this was like some weird alien device that they couldn't even comprehend. It played a format that they had no memories of and was obsolete before they even started nursery school. Surely their parents must own similar stuff. This was proved when one of them declared that their dad had something in the loft that played cassettes.

To complete the image, I dug out "Now That's What I call Music 10". The problem was that it needed rewinding and notwithstanding the technical wizardry of Aiwa's R&D department, my player had no rewind function as it used up batteries on a scale not seen since Big Trak. Rewinding the tape involved slotting the cassette spool onto a Bic biro and spinning it around and around and this actually drew gasps as if I had just levitated out of the window.

If only I still had the original headphones which were those strip of spring-steel affairs with a sponge headphone pad at each end; none of these uncomfortable ear-plug things for me.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:10, 3 replies)

Cars
My previous car was a Citroen Saxo.

I now own a Honda Jazz*. And I like it very much. It's one of the safest and most economical cars in its class, don't you know!

* Not an Accord, unfortunately.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Telephone numbers
They're 9 digits, dammit. London is the 081 area code, not 0208.

I still hear the Live and Kicking jingle when I say 081 811 8181.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:58, 15 replies)

Two years ago...
I was in my favorite cafe whining about having a birthday soon and getting old. The new, cute, energetic and bouncy (personality, not body) countergirl went on about me not being that old and looking good and it all being a state of mind -- so on.

I was about to teach her a lesson by asking, "oh yeah, would you go out with me then"? But that voice inside my head that usually says things that get me into trouble said, "uh, ask her age first."

That unexpected good advice from my usually bad self struck me as a smart idea, so I raised an eyebrow:

"How old are you anyway"?

"Eighteen."

Christ...

"So, how old do you think I am"?

"About 37, 38..."

What a nice girl -- she actually meant that.

"Allie, I'm turning 45."

"Wow, you're older than my parents"!

Ouch.

I've not let her forget this since, although I suppose it's my fault for not stopping while I was ahead. We're still very good acquaintances, and I set her up with my protege of mine who was only six years older than her.

She threw him over for an older guy, but still a much younger man than myself -- and her parents.
(ChiTown Guy Dating when 35+: sane, single, attractive - pick 2, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:58, Reply)

In a pub with a mate
Mate: "Cor, she's nice over there"
Me: "Bit young isn't she?"

She must have been 30 if she was a day.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:55, Reply)

Also
Your first Christmas in which you make a net loss. It's all downhill from there.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:53, Reply)

I wonder
Just how many therapists will get business from this weeks QOTW due to the amount if depression it's bound to create.

Same goes for funeral directors.
(Official Sarc, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:53, Reply)

The first genuine sign you're getting old
is finding your first grey pube.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:49, 9 replies)

Fighting the signs...
Ok, so I'm in my early 30's, and greying a little. Other than the hair, some other signs of getting older are:

- All inclusive holidays: had a conversation with a bunch of ex uni mates about holidays in which it was discovered that all inclusive holidays are the holiday of choice. Gone are the days of party holidays and "travelling" to Goa or wherever. Still none of us have taken to cruise holidays yet - they are truly a sign of old age.

- Kids: Just last weekend me a group of mates (most I've known since school days) are sat it the pub discussing our kids. The two without kids sat there looking very bored. We should really be discussing women and how we fell into a hedge on the way home the previous week, but these days we only go out once every few months and usually arrange lifts home.

- Hangovers: Oh the pain. Used to be able to have a casual 6 or 7 pints on a week night and turn up spritely to work / college / uni... Had 7 pints Saturday night and that pretty much wrote off Sunday. My teething toddlers seemingly non stop grumping did not help!

However, I keep reasonably abreast with new music and even like some of it. I still dress very casually (skate board trainers, hoodie), and I do not own a cardie. I last got ID'd when I was 31 - I do look young for my age; used to be a curse, now something of a blessing

So the early signs are there but I'm not ready for my pipe and slippers just yet...
(Bad_Dogg, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:20, 3 replies)

Asking people
If they remember trapdoor or trumpton and just getting blank, vacant, perfect skinned stares of wtf.
(Shamelesspendant Better dead then smeg., Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:18, 8 replies)

I remember...
white crumbly dog turds.
(SausageWarrior destination Zululand, come on boys jump in the van, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 14:01, 7 replies)