Art attack!
Every 4 weeks exactly I take a pair of scissors and give myself a nice trimming downstairs, quite normal you say? Read on..
One A4 piece of paper, covered in glue... with a hint of imagination you wouldn't believe the funny pictures you can make from pube trimmings.
A donkey, big ben and tomorrow I hope to do a self-portrait. Pictures on request!
( TN, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:31, Reply)

hmm....
One of the things I do is stuff the drawstrings off my clothes, mainly my comfy trousers, up my nostrils.
It's especially good when I have a cold and my nose is all runny as it stems the flow, although I can usually only leave them up there for about an hour before they get too soggy and gross.
(Pen Gwag Glas (or in english.. Empty Blue Head), Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:29, Reply)

Friends reinvented...
I like to make fake accounts on Friends Reunited and pretend to be people who I used to know from school. Makes me laugh when I think that someone is browsing for an old chum and finds a message saying they have been in prison for bum raping their dad, and their hobbies include fwapping one off over amputee granny porn.

Teehee!
(Discocat is bringing sexy back, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:21, Reply)

I caught my brother...
standing at the wide-open front door in the middle of December waving his arms and grinning like a maniac.
It's freezing; what the hell are you doing?
I'm heating up the whole neighborhood!


apologies to my father...
(Lister, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:20, Reply)

This was mentioned earlier
But when someone starts tailgating when I'm driving I derive great pleasure from following the speed limit to a T. The best part is when I go from a 30 to a 40 and accelerate really quickly... They think I'm picking the pace up but no. I stop accelerating at dead on 40!

I even once very briefly slammed on for no reason just to hear the screech of tires behind me.

Bloody tailgaters.

My other guilty pleasures include gorging on cheesestrings, picking my nose and blowing raspberries on my girlfriends belly.


JatMordan : I used to play lemmings in my head heh. You just reminded me of that. And Sim City
( beefandcheese, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:20, Reply)

Playing Games in my head when nobody is around
The first game in my head started when lemmings came out on the Amiga, I still play it >_<. I'll look at the scenery around me, the lemming start some where then I have to get them to another point using the usual, ropers, bashers, diggers, etc.

The second is not standing at tangent to man hole covers, if it cant be avoided i'll stand on them instead. Unless their is a change in the pavement surface between me and the cover, your safe then.

The third is avoiding going over cats eyes when changing lanes on motorways.

The first two drive me crazy but its been like 10 years and i still find myself doing them.
(Farthing, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:17, Reply)

Going crazy on the dancemat
wearing just my underpants.

I am 30. And male.
( teedyay, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:12, Reply)

I love
Getting a sowing needle (sterile) and getting the odd ingrowing hair that i can see under the skin out.

I also use them to pop blisters, dosent matter if they are massive and i know that it will hurt, i love it.

O and i get a really thick hair that grows out of a mole on my back, i love letting it grow then pulling it out with tweezers, if it pulls the route out its a bonus.
( Gaz, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:04, Reply)

Buying
a large bag of grapes and eating most of them before getting to the checkout.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 14:03, Reply)

Sandwiches
AlohasRyk is right peanut butter and marmite is a guilty pleasure, try peanut butter/twiglets/mustard too, even more of a sin. My other half is addicted to hertas franks/gherkin/blue cheese, but that's a bit posh.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:59, Reply)

Some of mine..
In a lift, pressing the buttons for all the floors before hopping out (works best in tall buildings, and especially well when a colleague is going to the top floor and now has to stop at every one)

..and trying to create the loudest, largest fart while in bed and nobody else is around..
(Kyzia was here on, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:45, Reply)

every time I see PETA propoganda, print or on TV,
I go down to the sandwich shop and order something with as much meat on it as possible, both quantity and variety.

What PETA fails to realize is that slaughterhouse footage makes some of us carnivores hungry. Sick or what?
(fantastic german, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:44, Reply)

The Bill
It's the worst telly ever with really, really, bad acting by bloody Brookside and Eastenders rejects but. just. can't. stop. watching.
(skitster, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:42, Reply)

Smells..
I like smelling new CDs/CD cases/CD booklets.

The rarer they are the more excited I get by the smell.
(yiddo, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:41, Reply)

I must crap whilst nude.
If not I suffer constipation. Also, I like to play with my bollocks. They're quite big, and they fascinate me for some reason.
(Roland Deschain, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:31, Reply)

anotha 1
i like it wen i kick the dog bowl and its full of water and it goes WOWOWOWOWOWAMAMAMAMAMMM!!!!

nice echoy sound
(braincanine, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:29, Reply)

I'm not guilty, goddammit
Letting my car coast down the exit slopes of multi-storey car-parks, seeing if I can get all the way to the ground floor without putting it in gear once (apart from when I first pull out of the parking space...otherwise it tends to take ages...)

Driving the wrong side of Keep Left signs (there's a great one on a mate's road which is right on a bend and I can see if there is any on-coming traffic, so I just enjoy the thrill without actually putting anyone or myself in mortal danger.)

Peanut-butter-and-marmite sandwiches, preferably three-slicers, at about 11:30 at night. Mmmmmm. (Trust me - if you like both separately, try them together...)

Hearing a song on the radio, and seeing if I can sing another song over the top of it that fits in well (try singing the opening lines of the RHCP's "By The Way" over The Stereophonics' "Dakota" - it fits perfectly if you start at the right point.) It's kind of like being a DJ in your head - and it winds up my workmate because then he can't get it out of his head! Chortle.
(AlohasRyk, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:25, Reply)

I realised......
That I comment on people under my breath all the time (loud enough to hear if you try), walking to work this morning somebody walked into me.... my reply was an immediate, " In those shoes, you are kidding". Im gonna get slapped. And i'm not even gay, at least i don't think so...... nah i'm not...... Jeeze I cant tell you what i just said..... could be tourettes i suppose..... ffffkit.

And this makes me laugh to myself - doctor?
(Bob Catshit, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:24, Reply)

more of a prank really.
I once saw a bunch of kids amusing themselves...
A bridge going over a canal.
Railings at edge of bridge, 3 meters of pavement, then the busy 3-carriageway main road.
One Kid had a length of rope tied around his waist, and the other end tied off to the railings. The slack length of the rope was just about 3 meters.

Each time a solitary vehicle came along, from this seemingly harmless-looking bunch of kids would come running a solitary child... aged 12 or something. Straight towards the oncoming vehicle, and apparently hell-bent on running infront of it, despite his obvious collision- course.

The timing was always perfect.

The result was always hilarious.

The kid would be stopped DEAD by his own non-elastic bungee, and the drivers were usually caught unawares.

If they'd been silly enough to do it when there were more than car in the vicinity, I'd haev stopped them, but as it was, they were carefully picking thier targets.

It must have increased road-safety in the area... so many people probably now show serious caution around groups of kids!! :)

Hope his rope never snaped...
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:23, Reply)

Every day without fail
Morning, noon or night, I love running my fingers through my big boy hair down there, and spreading the ones that come out around the floor of my one room student flat. I haven't hoovered since I moved in in September.
( The Running Man, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:23, Reply)

Letting my dog kill kitties
I gain imense pleasure from letting my rather large dog loose on any cat having a poop in my garden. He's caught 3, and they never return. Probably something to do with being hit by a huge dog at high speed, with rather large teeth. It's better than hare coursing. Oh, and I think it's legal too. As long as it wasn't deliberate. I'm sorry officer, all I did was open the back door to let the dog out, how was I to know my dog would catch some poor flea bitten moggy and rip it's throat out. Rather good yes? My other neighbours all do the same too, but haven't registered any kills yet.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:20, Reply)

When I cook something with say, bits of chicken in it...
I invariably make sure I've got all the best bits / more bits on MY plate when I dish up. Chef's perks.
Same goes for dishing out a chinese, and pouring out glasses of wine.

What a greedy and selfish bastard I am.

She loves it really though.
( BobbyParadise, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:13, Reply)

Possibly a lot of people do this
Whilst walking to work, to relieve the boredom I play a game called "ding-dong or ming-mong". Easy rules:

see a fit bird = ding-dong.
see a munter = ming-mong.

It makes me smile inwardly, and nobody knows what a perv I am.

NB inbetweenies are ding-mong or ming-dong
(urgle-splurgle molesting small goats since, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 13:02, Reply)

ADDING TO THE MOST POPULAR
Taking a shit, naked, with the door open, IN THE DARK

(apart from when a maid from the Tunisian Hotel your stopping in bursts in, fires the neons up, screams when she see's your shocked, semi-gurning face, followed by silence, a comically timed *ker-plunk*, then her running out screaming "sorry,sorry,sorry,sorry,sorry"! leaving the fresh towels she was bringing in strewn all over the floor)

other than that, very nice
(frankyfourfingers, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 12:47, Reply)

more....
8) using nail clippers to clip the skin on your finger tips and around the toes off and eating it

9) being sick at someone you dont really like's house

10) having a nice juicy "morning after poo" at a friend's house while everyone's in the room next door watching the eastbenders omnibus

11) making the IT guy I work with look like an idiot (although he refuses to work with me now, hehe)

12) picking crud out from under my finger and toe nails and wiping it onto the side of my keyboard

....that'll do for now, but Im sure even more will come....
(helish, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 12:45, Reply)

Guilty Pleasures
1. Air drumming (even though I am a better guitar player than drummer - though that's like saying Stalin was a better person than Hitler)

2. Burning my fingertips on anything. Hot wax, ovens, you name it. No need for that fucking Tefal red spot poncy pan in our house, just a call of "Rhys! Is this ready to cook yet?"

3. Drinking vaposyrup in alarming quantities.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 12:33, Reply)

and just like safetyfox
i also put glue on my hands and peel it off

pain is fun
(riedacher_bertram, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 12:27, Reply)

:P
* walking directly towards people in the
street and seeing who moves first.

I pick my line a stick to it.
I see how many people I can get to move
on the way to work/uni.
The bigger/smarter dressed the opponent
the better.

liven it up by mirroring their first path
change & see if they move again (works best
when they're far away)

* also, "nesting"
make a nest out of bog roll in bog , turd
in it (in cubicle, consider pissing first
so you don't wet the nest when crimping it
out)

transfer contents to urinal (excellent in
nightclubs when it's fucking rammed),
or sink, or inside of bog roll container
so when the next person pulls the paper
roll, your turd drops out

fuc*in brill
(frankyfourfingers, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 12:26, Reply)

i like to
rip the top right corner off of a4 pieces of paper, sit on my hands (oh the warmness) and shouting at bad drivers while in my car
( the.jokl @jonksson, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 12:24, Reply)