pressing my open CD drive button
even when I don't need access to the CD drive, just so I can push it closed, and whisper quietly "good solid action on that"

Talking to the traffic lights, and pretending that they obey me when they happened to go green when I told them to. I practise when driving on my own, in order to try and convince my next passenger that it really works. Sometimes I even convince myself.
...and...change...now...I command you to...changeYES! AH HA HA!
(ah sod it tinsels chummily, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 18:52, Reply)

Mmmm, me-time.....
I like to lie in a very hot bath (using up all the hot water), eating the gooey bit of a cream egg with a spoon, then stuffing all the chocolate into my mouth in one go. When I'm finished, I like to run naked around the house to dry off.

I only do this when I'm sure my flatmates have all disappeared for the evening/weekend....
(emma_fisi, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 18:14, Reply)

taking a corner
is me and my man's euphemism for farting, due to both of us having the perculiar habit of leaning to one side to let rip. We will spend post- curry hours doing this.

Also, as any girl (or professional swimmer) will tell you, ingrowing hairs are amazing. I will spend a whole hour searching for one on my leg just to see the wierd way that with a gentle push one will spring-like bounce out of my leg, then ping back due to the bit of hair still left. I once had one that was two inches long, burrowing into my leg. Amazing.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 17:41, Reply)

working out the cost
of different computer equipment advertised in junk mail in terms of how mutch stuff I'd have to illegally download to make it pay for itself.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 17:36, Reply)

Whenever a car honks its horn
I instinctively give a sort of "parp" noise in return. It was programmed into me by a week of people honking each other and now I can't stop it.

Oh, and I also occasionally lapse back into my childhood habit of standing on any metal street furniture (grate covers, pipe covers, etc.), as when I was little I used to step on them and count how many I could stand on in one trip.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 17:10, Reply)

Weighing Poo
I love to weigh myself before and after taking a dump to establish the weight of my poo.
(Flan base, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:58, Reply)

hmmm...
I like scraping the gunk from under my big toenail and sniffing it. I leave it there for weeks before scraping it out because it smells better that way.

I also have a look at each tissue after I've wiped my bum, even when I know I'm nowhere near finished.

When getting in to bed I pull my grunts mostly off and then flick them up with one foot to try and get them to land on my head. My fiance pretends to be asleep, but deep down I know she finds it as amusing as I do.

I like dropping B3ta words into conversation when I know people won't understand. My missus now uses the term 'hatstand' on a regular basis, I'm so proud.

I like skinning up in front of people who dissaprove.
(Mr. Partyhat, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:33, Reply)

HI-5
Weekday mornings Aussie kids program 1 mega fit 1 pretty fit and 1 "I'd not kick out of bed for farting" girls dancing about. It rocks and do I feel guilty watching it? Not one bit
( juliogeordio, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:24, Reply)

Febreezing the Rabbit
Febreeze is this amazing stuff that you're supposed to spray on beds and curtains when you're too lazy to clean them. Smells nice.

Works like a charm on the rabbit, 'cos she stinks. I take great pleasure in chasing her round the hutch spraying, or catching her unawares when she's nibbling on a carrot.

Needless to say - she hates me.
(Peelmytangerines, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:18, Reply)

Some things...
- Ringing up customer services departments just for an argument on speakerphone; very cathartic.

- Watching a programme on Discovery that I've seen 15 times with my girlfriend and pretending I know all about the subject matter.

- Eyeing up other birds on the sly whilst out with the missus (but that's all mind!).

- Walking away sniggering when someone gives you change for a £20 instead of a £10.

- As said before: piling coins into size order (a throwback to my days working in a bingo hall).

- Fighting wasps with the 'Waspinator' (a thick cardboard tube) in the office in summer.
( TooMuch2AM, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:17, Reply)

when i buy tortellini pasta in those thin plastic tubs
i place the empty packaging in the boiling water cos it shrinks and deforms in a very pleasing fashion.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:13, Reply)

Tailgaters
(Don't try this at home...)
A slightly more dangerous mathod of freaking out tailgaters is to wait until they are right on your tail, then holding your foot firmly on the clutch, stick the car in reverse. The reversing lights come on and they more often than not sh*t themselves. I have in the past in crappy company 'pool' cars also slammed the anchors on to test their reaction times...
(w1rral, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:08, Reply)

weeeelll
I noticed when my boyf went a way for a long weekend I had the house to myself. I figured no point in moping I'll just enjoy myself.It was the long bath with a magazine with chocolate followed by clean sheets in bed and spreading out over the whole bed. eating when I wanted, sleeping when I wanted, watching what I wanted on the telly and generally not cooking or cleaning or doing anything I didnt want to. It was fun, until I missed him but he came back. Now I know I can do all these things when he is here but I dont know why I dont. I think its cos I respect him and love him very much.
oh and thanks b3ta if it wernt for you we'd not have met.
( jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:04, Reply)

Laughing at Star Wars Mentaloids...
www.livejournal.com/users/krautboy/243291.html
(Wrecked Tums, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 16:01, Reply)

Sneezing
I like to make myself sneeze. Just take something like a cocktail stick or a key, insert it into a nostril and very delicately tickle the hairs inside. About 20 or 30 sneezes and you start to feel really good.
(Parkingtigers, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 15:48, Reply)

Stuff up my nose
My mum's keys have a carved wooden acorn keyring type thing, and for some reason if she's left me with her keys (usually in the car), I like to stick it up my nose. Just the feeling of your one nostril slowly stretching, then looking in the mirror to see how stupid you look, and laughing till it pops out with a satisfying 'ftumpf!' Madness.
(Funty, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 15:36, Reply)

i still play with toys when no-one is looking
i'm 25
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 15:33, Reply)

having sex (with my GF) in friends houses when we stay over
ok, not that bad but i do get a naughty delight when i next visit and think about it.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 15:27, Reply)

when i worked for somerfield
stealing the pods out of kinder eggs.

putting meat in the plastic compactor,

riding the big cage things about and crashing into shelves at hight speed.

pricking holes in airtight packages,

defacing all the motivational posters.

going to university and earning 3 times my old bosses salary.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 15:24, Reply)

Coffeetea.
Coffeetea. One t-bag, two (usually heaped) spoons of coffee, and as much sugar as I care to have in it (the record so far is 9). I cant get enough of it.
(drviagra, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 15:20, Reply)

Paaarp!
Whilst my girlfriend sleeps next to me in bed, I like trying to break wind as loud as I can without waking her up. It's kind of like a personal challenge.

That and playing air guitar whilst wearing nothing but a bell around the base of my penis.
(bunny_333, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 15:01, Reply)

secretly knocking one out
while thinking about women I shouldn't. Super Nanny seems to be doing the trick at the moment.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 14:39, Reply)

Going Through
All of my girlfriends underwear deciding what would look good on me
(nicknicknick, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 14:35, Reply)

razor
using my ex's very expensive mach 4 turbo bladed razor to shave my legs and worse when he'd really pissed me off. never told him; just used to enjoy his puzzlement over how quickly the blades went blunt.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 14:28, Reply)

Shouting....
really really loud. Swear words are a million times funnier when screamed at the top of your voice.
( NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Mon 11 Apr 2005, 14:19, Reply)

Stairs are great
Sitting at the top of the stairs and sliding down on my bum like a bumpy helter skelter stylee.

Climbing up the stairs 2/3 steps at a time.

Scaling the stairs like a rock climber.

Spending £90 on new hair straighteners then not being able to afford food.

Dancing around my house trying to be like a Ballerina /Rapper/ RockStar.

Singing at the top of my voice and hearing the echo of silence.

Eating marmite out of the jar with a spoon.

Eating a big bar of chocolate in front of my dog who can't eat chocolate.

Eating cold tinned spagetti or beans or best yet Beans and sausage straight out the tin.

Eating.

Multiple Orgasms.
(Sparkypinkguitar, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 14:03, Reply)

Knocking one out
or banging a newly found woman while thinking of my ex that I cheated on 4 times (fate eh?)
(makavel1, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 13:56, Reply)

Piss-Scentage
a recent but concerning one has been going for a piss (in the sink, outside, matters not) then sniffing my aiming fingers. Depending on how little piss I smell (low pisscentage), that determines if I wash my hands or not.
Sometimes, even if they stink of piss, I don't wash them and it amuses me.
I always wash my hands after a poo and before eating though...
(wez, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 13:30, Reply)

I like to...
...walk down the stairs in a cheeky cockney fashion.

I get to go down two flights from my flat.
( Liquid Crystal, Mon 11 Apr 2005, 13:20, Reply)