...just remembered
At the beach, women love wearing impractical bikinis. Impractical, because their jugs are invariably almost popping out. Do I care? No... because with the kind of surf we have they ARE popping out every two seconds. Guilty pleasure? mooooost definitely
Wardrobe malfunction? Hell no
(satellite blows, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 5:56, Reply)

Guilty Post
My Family has been brewing tea for generations.

Our secret method involves filtering the leaves out using an array of goldfish heads - the gills do a great job of keeping the leaves out and giving the tea that special flavour.

Not to blow my own trumpet, but our tea is considered orgasmic by most - a case of Gill-Tea Pleasure if I've ever seen one.






I'm so very, very sorry.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 3:44, 4 replies)

Whenever...
a mate asks me to get something for them or pass something to them, I take ridiculous pleasure in handing them something which is manifestly not what they asked for, eg. passing them a shoe when they wanted a lighter, or getting them a jar of curry powder when they wanted a cup of tea, and so on. It doesnt sound like much, but when you do this a few times in a row while giggling like a tard it just gets more and more exciting. This is usually repeated with more and more outlandish items until they go insane and get it themselves. It takes me way more time and effort but I chuckle about it for the rest of the day.
(Ryuken-Kai, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 3:40, Reply)

Eating...
my rich housemates delicious food when she's out.

She buys/gets bought really fancy expensive food, all tesco finest cheeses and stuff, eats hardly any of them, and forbids the rest of us 10p-noodle-eating lot from touching it, lets it go off, then we usually throw it away when it makes the fridge reek. I feel that I/we are honouring the lovely food by eating it, rather than letting a £5 wedge of brie be thrown away I actualy chuckle like a nutter when I discover a packet of rolo cookies or similar forbidden yet untouched bounty in her cupboard.

She's anorexic, she ain't gonna miss it ;)
(Ryuken-Kai, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 3:22, 4 replies)

Guilty Yer Honor
.
I like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. I'm not into yoga and I have half a brain. I like making love at midnight in the dunes on the Cape.



/gets coat

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 2:53, Reply)

crap smear
A mate of mine, who passed away a bit unexpectadly last year, had a number of guilty pleasures. Including (but not limited to) walking into a housemates bedroom with a wicked grin on his face, slooowly turning around when his presence was noted, cocking his leg ever so slightly and letting one rip.

Then, to make sure the stench wasn't wasted, he'd hold the door shut from the other side.

(My mate used to eat all sorts of greasy unhealthy shit, and everything ejected from the lower half of his body stank to high hell.)

He also mentioned that a great non-agressive way to deal with people who pissed him off was to use their toilet around the wrong way around.

He told me how his employer (local forklift mechanic) had been a complete cnut, so in retalitation he had taken to crapping in the office toilet sitting the wrong way, ie, facing the cistern. This, he explained, caused a turd smear from 2/3rds the way up the front of the bowl to the centre. As far as i know, he never got busted, and he quit the job soon after. Probably 'cause nobody ever cleaned the toilets.

My guilty pleasure: I collect things when drunk. not going into that.
(unoriginal spluffed so hard it came out her nose on, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 2:29, Reply)

amusing till-jockeys
i enjoy standing behind people in shop queues, pulling ludicrous faces behind their backs. this makes till monkeys giggle and get in trouble for giggling at customers. i'll probably get caught one day but, until then, i'll keep doing it.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 2:06, 3 replies)

Manx delicacy
chips, cheese and gravy. Together.

If you've never been to the Isle of Man you probably have no idea what this is all about. It's one of those things where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts...

If any of you lot is coming over for the TT this year, you have to try it after a visit to the Bushy's tent - heaven :)
(Home Bargains was last seen wanking like a safari park chimp:, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 1:37, 7 replies)

well,
i don't have many, but i take great satisfaction (but become somewhat guilty afterwards) if i get stuck behind someone REALLY slow whilst driving, and overtake them, and decide "OHHH... what a shame, my windscreen could do with a bit of a clean, better squirt some soapy water on it and clean it.. and OH NOES my windscreen water run-off is making mr slow car all dirty.."

i also do this to cars who tailgate me.. which is more satisfying when they are special hotted up cars with racing stripes and turbo exhausts and in immaculate condition

asshole? probably.
(brotagaia, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 1:05, Reply)

my life is a movie trailer
i like to comentate on what im doing or on everyday things in the 'movie trailer guy' style - "in a small town, in quiet house. One man, one chance, starring arnold schwarzenegger.

"we haf to get outta here"

i dont know why but they always star arnie. maybe its cos its the only impression i can do!
(meh! bored since, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 0:15, Reply)

Both guilty and pleasurable
I usually get in about 10-15 minutes early for work, so I always go to the loo first and read the Metro until 9am.

Making a poo last as long as possible, especially whilst at work.

Buying and reading Heat magazine every Tuesday. I actually get fidgety if I can't buy it straight away too.

Monsters Inc.

Bitching about someone at work. There's always someone. The latest girl irritates me intensely because she doesn't drink, smoke, swear or get angry. She's also completely self-obsessed and quite dense but pretty. I am a bitter old cow.

Watching "8 Simple Rules" - I actually miss abc 1. I can't get a good signal for TMF anymore either so I can't watch "Laguna Beach" or "The Fabulous Life Of...".

Hello Kitty.

Those awful "100 Most Annoying Things Ever" programmes on Channel 4 and BBC 3. This reinforces my grumpy sensibilities.

If I cared enough, I'd get a life!
(claireyfairy There's a smell in here that will outlast religion, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 0:14, 4 replies)

watching casualty on a saturday night

( epiphany coming live from sweden, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 23:58, 1 reply)

Guilty pleasures...
Probably too many to remember, but here goes...


1) I will put almost anything on a sandwich. Baked beans, mashed potato, fish fingers, potato waffles, crisps, chips, roast beef & gravy, minced beef/lamb... same goes for toasties.

2) Sitting at exactly 30mph in towns. Seems to really rile people.

3) Local radio station Rock Radio. I have most of the breakfast show adverts saved on the computer, and I know most of the lyrics to most of the stuff they play, which is embarrasing when I forget the window is down and I'm singing Rockin' All Over The World at the top of my voice.

4) Overtaking on motorways at 70mph in the inside lane when traffic in the middle lane is only moving at 50. Same goes for the outside lane when theres a sales rep trying to get past and flashing lights...

5) Dropping song lyrics into conversation.

6) Swearing around people who I know it will shock or disturb.

7) The already noted shit/no wipe/shower combo.

8) "Flight of the Navigator" and "The Brave Little Toaster".

9) The Hungry Caterpillar.

10) Against as has been noted elsewhere, using the make & model of car at junctions to make decision on letting them out.

11) Using the size of a vehicle to force a way through. Refused to reverse back along a busy street in an Iveco luton van when I came up against a Merc S-class - sat for a full 25 minutes reading the paper before he would reverse back.

12) Older cars (probably 1976-on), specifically Fords, Vauxhalls, Peugeot-Talbots, Austin Montegos and Eastern Bloc cars - I get far too excited if I see something like a Mk2 Vauxhall Cavalier or Mk2 Ford Granada on the road, and I have been known to almost hit other road users if I see a Talbot Solara. Co-incidentally, if theres anyone out there with an FSO Polonez for sale, I'd like to know!

13) The Proclaimers.

14) Cleaning my ears with kirby grips and biro lids. Probably quite dangerous but its great. And I bite my nails too much.

Might be more...
(clearasmud, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 23:50, 4 replies)

does my...
...lucky blue coat count?
(nonstopdancer, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 23:41, Reply)

The car behind me is a Beemer.
When I'm out in the lorry, I like to make life difficult for BMW drivers. Not cutting them up, but just making sure they don't get past on r/abouts, or get by before the cones. Pulling out to overtake a bit early is fun too.

I'm sorry guys, but if you drive a car that says "I AM AN IGNORANT CUNT WHO HAS A SMALL COCK AND VOTED TORY" it's going to happen every time you appear in the mirror.

However, I may not be entirely consistent, as I ride an R100RT. But then, two wheels good, four wheels bad, eighteen wheels better!
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 22:57, Reply)

As a hobby....
...I get kicks from selling tow rope in Bridgend. I'm making a killing :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 22:36, 3 replies)

Oh, and
sitting at my lappy at 5pm on a Wednesday, frantically refreshing and waiting for the new Zero Punctuation to appear.
( Maladicta, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 21:56, 3 replies)

This isn't going to win any fans but fuck it...
My current guilty pleasures.

1. Anything by 80's era Madonna and Duran Duran.
2. Mars Delights. Cruncy and creamy and much better than them nasty Kinder Buenos.
3. Victoria Wood As Seen On TV.
4. The Seemingly-Popular-On-b3ta-Shit-No-Wipe-Then-Shower Routine
5. Dropping lyrics from songs into my lessons at work.
6. Pretending to be a spin bowler in my front room.
7. Reading Grazia at my mum's.
8. Trimming my pubes. That airy feel afterwards is amazing.
9. Solving Algebra problems... in my non-teaching time.
10. Taking the mick out of my emo students without them twigging.
11. Scratching my arse.
12. Anita Anand's voice on FiveLive Drive.
13. Dancing like Brett Anderson from Suede (especially in the Animal Nitrate video) in indie clubs. This despite the fact that I am not thin, well choreographed or sexually ambiguous, but a parka-wearing, heavy set northerner.
14. Snoring and farting when asleep in hotel rooms and blaming it on others.
15. Overtaking bigger, better and more expensive cars than mine, and waving as I go past.

That's better.
(scentless_apprentice takes two bottles into the shower!, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 19:42, 3 replies)

Top Gear
does that count?
( cynfulcynner ...another American nutter, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 19:41, 1 reply)

.....
I've became so lazy that if I can't be bothered to walk to the toliet, I will piss into the nearest empty can/bottle within my reach. I enjoy it.

I also enjoy farting into my hand and sniffing it.

Another guilty pleasure of mine is teaching my nephew to swear. He is 2 and because of me has a filthy mouth. It's brilliant.

I am a horrible man.
(GeordieTwat <3 Myself </3, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 19:16, Reply)

Oh and another.
This colleague was pissing me off at work a few years ago, so I got her lip gloss and rubbed it around the rim of our staff loo. A real proper dig in the bit where the water comes out. She never knew. I almost puked when I saw her us it, and it had black bits all over it and everything.
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Sat 15 Mar 2008, 19:15, Reply)

When I change watch batteries at work,
if the customer is annoying, I write 'the owner of this watch is a cunt' in indelible ink on the inside of the case. Replace it, and hand it back. The customer wonders blissfully unaware of the obscenity they are carrying around with them. That is very satisfying.

Oh, and dwarf porn.
( @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Sat 15 Mar 2008, 19:09, Reply)

All good things...
Ya know, niche porn, racist jokes, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, standard stuff.
(bacontrout got ska, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 18:55, Reply)

Ooooh another one...
I like to walk around town when I am in a bad mood, like today, wondering if I can make anyone give me grief purely so I can hurt them and make myself feel better.
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 18:08, Reply)

where to begin?
Microwaveable kebabs.

I listen to Justin Timberlake but only on headphones and always make sure no-one else can see my Ipod at the time (My music taste normally great, I promise!)

Nose picking, then flicking at various targets across the room.

Squeezing my boyfriends blackheads, it's fascinating seeing all the weird kinds of shit that comes out of his skin.

Is it wrong that I still find him sexy afterwards?
(tea_leaf_dancer, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 17:49, 2 replies)

Last week's question...
...rekinded my nerdy, guilty pleasure.
Here I come Warhammer 40k novels! :)

Oh, and farting just as my girlfriend gets in the car and locking the doors. The look of horror 10 seconds into the journey always makes me giggle.

(No, W40k and girlfriends aren't mutually exculsive!)
(CaptnJack isn't really called Jack!, Sat 15 Mar 2008, 16:16, 1 reply)

sisters
When i was smaller and lived at home, my little sister used to wind me up bigtime!

to get her back, i used to cover her toothbrush with soap, and when mum told her to go to bed and not forget to brush her teeth, i would giggle to myself!!!

guilty? no, pleasure? hell yeah!
(VodkaMargarine When there is no Brandy Butter..., Sat 15 Mar 2008, 15:53, Reply)