ewww !!!
For a few years i worked as a care worker in a old folks home and as such i saw some gross things that in time i got pretty used to,however one thing that made me retch was having to change colostomy bags-it was to much and i got a co worker to do it for me.
(shug, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 21:37, Reply)

ben nevis
ben nevis is a great climb, great veiws where you can take your picture where you pretend to fall off. Great chalanges of loose gravel/scree for paths and fog where you can loose your mates if you go more than five yards ahead. Great refreshing cool air all in all a great laugh.


wait. whats this at the summit? the entire fucking place is jammed full of memorials to people who fell/slipped/froze/got lost and starved/all of the above to death!


great.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 21:26, Reply)

this still makes me feel like emptying my guts
When i was just a nipper, during those long summer breaks from school, me an my mates used to cycle about 3 miles thru the country side to a river that meandered thru fields as far as the eye could see. We fished, swam and generally frolicked away for hours until the sun went down.

Our favourite thing to do was float down the river on lilo's, airbeds and the like until we got to part of the river that widened into a big pool with branches overhanging into the water and fallen trees lining the edge.
We would dive off the trees and swim down to the bottom seeing who could dive down the furthest (it was pretty deep, i never managed to touch the bottom).

On one occasion, probably the last time we went, we were diving away having much fun, one of my mates dived into the water and was making a record breaking attempt to reach the other side underwater, he surfaced at the edge coming up under some overhanging branches, what greeted him was inches away from his face, a large, dead cow, rotting away in the water, poor thing had probably tried to get a drink and slipped in. The parts of the cow above water were covered in maggots. We left soon after.

I still wonder how many mouthfuls of water i might have swallowed that day before the grim discovery......
(Duke Fucknuts ate toast and fanny batter on, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 21:12, Reply)

the most horrific thing I've seen was...
A man hanging from one of those big pylons. In my small town, you know everyone, and this chap was a friend's brother. We knew the back story but when me and a group of friends decided to go down to the spinney (small area of woods+fields), we saw him there, hanging. The fact that it was one of the guy's brother was the worst part. we were all about 13, and his brother was only 21. The friend just broke down and we just called the police and took him home. but seriously unpretty stuff.
( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 21:12, Reply)

Last night at about 3am
Driving on the A5 out of London I approached a set of traffic lights only to observe thick trails of dark red stuff (and I mean LUMPY thick) meandering around the crossing, over the pavement leading to a shop doorway where a body lie slumped over an actually very pretty young girl who was screaming manically.

Lights turn green. Cars start beeping behind me. I carry on nervously to a garage round the corner to hear a stream of sirens speed past.

What the fuck. I live in a small rural town in Shropshire. Stuff like this just doesn't happen.
(BeardyMat, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 21:09, Reply)

pigeon eyeball projectiles
I hate pigeons with a passion, they are all fethered rats that need to be culled.

thats why i found the following so funny. Some years ago i was in my town center watching a pigeon ducking in and out of the traffic in order to peck at fag butts. It lingered too long and was run over. half run over, one half of the fethered cunt was pancake flat. I was allready sniggering at that when in a last desperate act it floped its one remaining wing against the ground in a bid to get away. Another car slowly rolled forward and burst its head blasting a eyeball twelve blood trailing feet. I nearly pissed myself.

the reason im posting this here is that several young children were transfixed with horror at the sight. and its only just occured to me that the only thing more horrifc that seeing a bird burst was the sight of a teenager bent double with laughter at it.

I bet I was the most horrifying thing they ever saw.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 21:07, Reply)

I have seen things meny things,
ahem:
anal prolapeses
festering wounds
loyal pets dead
menstral art (google it)
close up of impetigo
shit fetishists at work
the headlights of a car about to hit me
the genuinely mentaly ill
syphilitic penises
the entireity of rotten.com
trousers caked in blood from a attempted castration by a bunny boiler
a toilet with black vomit on the walls/floor/celing (drunken mate exploded)
pebbledash on the walls of a public toilet
grown men wee themselves
a ball of fire coming towards my face
a ball of fire that i created nearly engulfing a mate
dried cum stains
a decomposing sheep with a hollowed out rib cage
another decomposing sheep right were i HAD to walk
how chicken nuggets are made
A riot/holy war/anarchy in northern ireland
football hooligans destroying south london
poverty
a 200m strech of pavement coated in purple snakebite based vomit.
bunny boiler victims scars
seeing what was left of my tire after a blowout
west Hull


But the most horrific thing I ever saw, was a picture of a close friend in the paper next to an article about how they had been murdered. It still chokes me up just thinking about it.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 20:45, Reply)

Worst Thing Ive ever seen?
It was back in 02, my bro working for a car breakdown company when he was called by the police to tow a car to the local hq. I was with him at the time and it was the most nightmare inducing thing to see, especially for a 13 year old girl.

The car was used in a suicide. The guy who was only 25 years old died a rope to a lamp-post and the other end in a slip knot around his neck. He sat in his Corsa clipped in his seatbelt and drove.

His head ended up on the roof of the Local B+Q store. Fucking horrific. The car looked like someone had a bottle of tomato sauce and squirted it all over the windscreen.

*Shudder*
(Amiepots, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 20:31, Reply)

Sports (NFL)
I think it was Sammy Winder of Denver back in late 80's-early 90's - caught his cleat in a seam in the astroturf and his ankle stayed still whilst his bady twisted around his shin bone.
Not good.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 20:19, Reply)

Horrible day on the bus..
I remember i was on the bus to or from college one day, and we were stood still at the Town Centre Bus Depot. Bus drivers love too have fag breaks, leaving us passengers bored on the bus waiting for them.
So anyhoo, the driver gets back on the bus and we're still stationery, waiting for other passengers to get on. I was looking out the window, and saw a man of around 40 years of age slowly lying down while the woman he was with placed a jacket on the floor. It was done ever so calmly, and i was intrigued. Then the man began to have a fit on the floor, in broad day light at the bus depot. It was horrible and so disturbingm but i couldn't look away. We had to wait at the depot a few more minutes before leaving, forcing me to watch this poor man. Horrible...

Also, during a wrestling match a few years ago (as i am a 'rassler), a guy went to give me a shoulderbreaker, where he has me hoisted up on his shoulder and then drops me shoulder first onto into his knee. Unfortunately, he didn't get his knee out in time and dropped me hard onto my forehead. Even worse, i landed on my forehead and snapped forward, landing on my back. I was able to finish the match fine, if a little woozy. Everyone backstage thought i had broken my neck, and it was quite surreal that i was completely fine. I got to watch the match back later that night with some of the wrestlers, and it was such a horrible sight...But like i said,i'm fine and dandy..
(Twisted Nerve Twisted his erm....nerve, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 20:14, Reply)

Irreversible
Jesus, this is grim. I was going to tell my own 'old lady hiking up skirt and pissing in the street like it's 1835 all over again' but it can't compete. Sorry if this has already been said, but Pesky Young Scamp - your story about the guy getting hit with the fire extinguisher (on pg 3) is actually a scene from the movie 'Irreversible'. It's pretty horrific and very realistic, but that's the marvel of special effects. Hope that'll help you sleep a little easier than I will after reading some of these.
(starsky83, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 20:13, Reply)

greek legs

When i first went on holiday abroad with my parents we went to Greece. It was quite and rural and obviously not many proper traffic lights or laws.

A greek bloke on his motor bike came down the road like a bat out of hell and hit full on into a truck. Cue hideous screaming as his thigh bone was poking out of his leg.

My poor dad who was a first aider had to give him help and wrap a towel round his protruding bone and life him into a truck.

i as trumatised by that bone...
( squiddylyd Once you pop you can't stop!, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 20:12, Reply)

My tuppence
Working for a mate once summer in the fields of Hampshire when the useless tit gets his arm stuck in a bailing machine.

Cue most of his arm getting chewed up and spitting out into my face, mouth, overalls.

I had to tie an artery off with bailing twine and drive him to hospital in a tractor.
(Speshal, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 20:00, Reply)

Lucky or unlucky ?
After a 3 month enforced break from working as a motorcycle courier ( crash , painful , my fault ) I was on walking to the garage to collect a new bike from the company mechanics and restart work , when the unmistakable sound of motor bike hitting something occurs behind me . On turning I'm confronted by a motorcyclist pinwheeling in the air about 15 feet up and a BMW R850 on its side ( fortunately for me ) ploughing towards where I'm standing . My concern for the rider is quickly negated when he gets up shaken but unhurt but horror starts to set in when the onlookers realize he hit a 50+ woman who had stepped out from behind a bus . The R850 like many BMW's has a boxer engine which means the cylinder heads protrude either side , one of these had caught the womans legs acting like a very blunt but very heavy scythe , catching them just below the knee tearing flesh smashing bone , barely leaving them attached . With unbelievably white sharp bone showing and what seemed like gallons of blood running everywhere we made her as comfortable as possible till the air ambulance came . She survived but sans legs . A joke concerning length and girth is traditional here but it aint gonna happen .
(kilozerone, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 20:00, Reply)

This morning at work
I learned a fact about a guy I work with.

He's... 'special'. I always figured he was born that way and thought no more of it.

This morning I found out that he lost much of his mental and physical capability when he crashed his car on a road just a few miles from my house.

The prospect that next time I get behind the wheel it could happen to me is something I find terrifying.

Pretty selfish, but it really plays on my mind.
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 19:52, Reply)

Main board on a Tuesday

(LandmineCat 's board sig, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 19:26, Reply)

Motorway crash
More specifically, a set of lorry-sized skid marks leading towards the central reservation, and crimped onto the Armco barrier in the manner of one of those blue electrical connectors for trailer wiring, a blue Mini Metro. Squashed to the size of a fridge. With pinkish water dripping out onto the tarmac.
(gordonjcp, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 19:15, Reply)

The finest human malt in all the land.
Perhaps not the end times for all of existance but the kitchen of Flat 3, Block B shall never be the same that's for sure.

Being in the first year at uni and living in a student community miles away from most urban life whilst drunk for 50% of the time does not a happy house make. Me and a flatmate had ticked 'lively' on our application forms, and 'mixed' too, hoping for a nice spread of roomies.

It didnt quite work out as hoped when we realised that our friends and us were the least hygienic twats on earth when mullered.

Within a couple of months our flat was chosen to be the designated drinking area prior to any nights out for our 6 strong group; what this meant was 3 or 4 nights of every week congregating within said kitchen with unlimited beers, a bottle or two of tequila, 3litres of cider each and plenty of blackcurrant. As the year went on and we became shadows of our former, sporty, pre-uni selves our levels of laziness soared to new, previously undiscovered heights. This stretched eventually to urination. The kitchen was, by the new year, kitted out with a cd player/radio, ipod docking station and deck of cards, rendering any reasons to leave void, bar when moving on into town. Having plenty of empty vessels at our disposal we decided to construct a carefully positioned wall of re-filled alcohol bottles-cum-urinals atop some cupboards and let them mature gently.

The cleaners wisely left well alone and we finally ran out of room to put them. Eventually in may the regrettable time came for us to dispose of our produce in the form of a note from management succinctly worded thus:

"EMPTY BOTTLES NOW"

So my flatmate and I and our friend alex sorrowfully took the task upon ourselves (i should mention there were other things we were forced at this point to remedy, i.e. sick/piss filled sinks, cupboards caked with mould etc). Little did we know that leaving the lids of the bottles unsecured and exposing the liquid to the elements led to a small growth at the bottom of each bottleneck which was around 1cm in thickness and resembled a leperous mushroom on one side and a cross between a mutant ear and a bacteria metropolis on the other.

One of our friends having chlamydia didnt help either, and the smell that was unleashed when we unplugged these corks of death led to dry heaving en masse.

Suffice to say that we are the only 2 living there still, several of our flatmates moving out up to 2months b4 end of year exams.

Pic taken with the shelf half-full:



Juan 'The Jar' Bonita, Defender of the Liquids:


( Deexan, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 19:04, Reply)

Myxie
I work as an assistant gamekeeper in the hols sometimes, and one job we have to do is dispatch deer hit by cars. This isn't so bad(they go into shock often and just sit there. Bit splattery tho). So we get called, someone's hit a deer. Potter on down, and we dispatch it, no worries. Then it happens. We see a seemingly dead rabbit, and i walk over to chuck it into the bushes. As I Bend down to pick it up, I notice it is pretty fresh, but has no eyes. In fact, as I pick it up by the ears(They shit on their back legs if they die naturally), it turns out to have been in one of the comas caused by myximatosis, that dread disease. it starts kicking, very much alive, and one of my fingers goes into the evehole. Prety nasty, you may think, but there's more. My finger kills it. Right into the brain. Then bits of brain stick on my fingers. Lovely.

20,000 fathoms my good sir!
(TheSpode has little toe-hats., Sat 23 Jun 2007, 18:40, Reply)

Inspired by purplegod
TKMaxx is a pretty horrific place at the best of times. I mean, they have lots of lovely cheap clothes and all, but cheap designer clothes attract chavs like moths to a flame, and on a Saturday, chavs come with screaming chav children. But I do brave TKMaxx every time I'm out shopping, for one very good reason: occasionally they have bras in my size. I'm a 28F/30E, and as such bras that fit me tend to be A - few and far between, and B - bloody expensive. So anywhere that might have cut price bras designed for my skinny yet "fuller figured" physique is fair game, even if I do have to rugby tackle Burberry-clad morons to get at the lingerie section.

So anyway, a while ago I was in TKMaxx and amongst all of the annoyingly normal-sized bras was this enormous purple monstrosity. It was HUGE. I mean, I could quite comfortably get my head into one of the cups with plenty of room to spare. I was quite literally incapable of imagining the sheer size of the person who might fit into it. According to the label it was a jaw-dropping 48JJ. You've no idea just how big 48JJ is until you've actually seen it. But the horrific part?

It was padded.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 18:40, Reply)

... the reaction to last week's QOTW....
... after I posted some fact about circumcision.

I got a large amount of PM's preaching that I was stupid, and that all un-circumcised people had stinky unclean cocks.

I quote "You should try not repeat crazy shit you hear from the nutters down the road.

Being circumsised is a good thing, think cleaner penises..."

Horrifying ignorance and the proof to Darwin's statement "Ignorance begets confidence more frequently than does knowledge"

so... to fuel your fear of a society that does things "cos that's the way we've always done it" Have a look here..
www.historyofcircumcision.net
looking in the chronology section...

16th century Gabriele Falloppio (1523-62) describes function of the foreskin to provide lubrication and increase pleasure during sex.

17th century William Harvey (1578-1657), the discoverer of the circulation of the blood, states that circumcised men have less pleasure in sex.

1716 Publication of Onania, or the heinous sin of self-pollution, and all its frightful consequences in both sexes in London, giving rise to the irrational phobia about masturbation which persisted throughout the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, and which still survives among members of the US Congress. For the next 250 years doctors insist it is a scientifically proven medical fact that masturbation is physically and mentally harmful and must be stopped at any cost

1850s James Copland, in Dictionary of practical medicine, popularises the idea of circumcision as a means of discouraging masturbation among boys.

1870 (USA) In the USA Lewis A. Sayre applies theories of Lallemand and announces that circumcision cures "paralysis" (polio), epilepsy and masturbation, setting off the medical craze for "therapeutic" circumcision. Calls for universal circumcision of male infants.

1877 (USA) John Harvey Kellogg MD (1852-1943) publishes the first edition of Plain facts for old and young, in which he promotes circumcision as a cure for masturbation. He writes that the operation was to be performed "without administering an anaesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment."

1993 Claim that uncircumcised men had significantly higher rate of cancer of the penis exposed as a myth, yet again.

Just a few highlights..

Scary huh? A society that's scared of wanking, so turns it's medical hands to ritually chopping off parts of baby's penises. Sweet. That's more fucked up than shagging goats.

Bottom line... IF foreskins gave rise to infection and disease, evolution would have taken care of them.

Sorry for length, but I've not been mutilated. *guffaw*

Afterthought:
Been cut? pissed about it? .. if you live in America why not SUE!!
2000 (USA) William Stowell, aged 18, feeling pissed off, injured and ashamed of being cut, sues the doctor who circumcised him and the hospital where it was done.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Sat 23 Jun 2007, 18:36, Reply)

i heard this clumsy fumbling as i walked through the door and
walked into my livingroom just now, to find my brother fwapping, looking at porn on the computer .With his mate Sean there.
Im wondering
A)whether he (& mate) is straight or gay
B)why his immediate reaction was to turn the monitor off, rather than covering himself and C)why does said friend always have to use OUR computer
hes 12 -and *I* cleaned up my computer with baby wipes. I would do a length joke but it would be weird
(Commieapple, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 18:02, Reply)

Hamster
Kite Jr.'s Hamster, William Wigglebottom, pulls his shit out of his arse. He sometimes eats it. And Kite Jr wonders why I wont kiss him ???
Also, last night, she runs in to me shrieking, saying "Williams dead !Williams dead!". Sure enough he's lying limply in her hands. Shes inconsolable. I hold him, and he sort of burps, but loosk dead. We put him down and he sort of collapses. After about 5 mins he moves a bit, and after about 10 mins hes fine again. We pop up teh vets and it appears we have an epileptic Hamster - cool huh ?

Not really horrific, but darned scary and upsetting all round.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 17:53, Reply)

Again...
Pretty much overlaps with the work experience post - I worked in a morgue so got to see some lovely close ups.

All the organs had been removed after a lady had had an autopsy, so she's lying there on the table, a huge hole in her chest and no organs inside - could see her spine at the bottom of the cavity. Had to put my hand in there as well with the pump to suck up the pooled blood - I kept thinking her rib cage was going to close on my arms like that scene in 'The Thing'.

Also had to hold back the skin of someones face - seeing the underside of a face ain't so great - lots of veins and muscles...smelt baaaaaad.
(Strangemiester, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 17:35, Reply)

HC
Huntigtons Chorea is pretty horrific (its been mentioned elsewhere). Starts with a twitch, then spasmodic movements and finshes with full on dementia (think Alzheimers) This takes 15-20 years. Its passed on genetically. Wanna know the kicker ?

It manifests when youre in your 35+, so you may well have passed the gene onto your kids, not knowing you had it at the time. One case I knew had 2 daughters. Odds were 1 would get it, 1 wouldnt.

Cunt of a disease aint it (and they say there's a God LOL)

Angry cock joke here.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 17:21, Reply)

London - pigeons with no feet
because they stand in their own muck until their feet rot away.

yuk
( Signify, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 17:15, Reply)

Nursing Library
Whilst training, the books in the library on Birth Defects were very disturbing (but fascinating too). Worst was a 19th Century Cyclops baby in a tub of Formaldehyde. The girls found some books on Gynaecology - Dear God what goes on down there ???????
Books on Dermatology are pretty gross too.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 17:13, Reply)

9/11
Not sure if I should post this. Please read it all before flaming me.

This is prolly my #1 Horrific thing. At the time, whilst horrifying, I was more interested in the organization (I guessed Bin Laden was involved as soon as I heard about the attack) of it and the possible repercusions of the whole thing. It was a year later, on the anniversary I think it really hit me - for some reason I sort of "put myself" there, and could feel the fear, hopelessness, the sense of doomed inevitability of peoples impending deaths ( both in the towers and the planes) and just kept thinking "How would I have coped ? How would I have dealt with that sense of knowing what would happen". I now avoid pretty much anything to do with the whole business. I think it made me a kittle depressed and obsessed for a bit (maybe still does)

In fact for a few years after, despite being very "into" war, history, wargaming etc I kept away from anything historical and just played fantasy stuff - less "real" y'see ?

Of course it also raised some rather unpleasant prejudices/opinions in myself about certain religions (and organized religion in general) that whilst I despise myself for thinking, I still feel them. And I hate myself for it. And I know that 99% of these people are cool and just want to get on...but at the back of mind there is always part of me saying "yeah, but is that guy the 1%".

So not only was the event Horrific, th eway it fucked with my world view has been pretty big to me too. And I dont like the affect it has had on me.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 17:05, Reply)

My brain hates me...
Mrs God is blessed with ample curves. She's therefore forced to shop in shops that cater to the fuller-figured lady. And, when shopping, she likes to wear a determined frown, and drag me behind her. So, I get to walk around Hefty Hideaway, and similar.

Last summer, we were browsing through the racks of clothes, when suddenly - AIEEEEEE! We saw IT. We swapped horrified glances, but mine didn't match her handbag, so we swapped back.

IT turned out to be a denim miniskirt, about fourteen inches long. And a UK32, so about three foot wide. The same thought went through our heads: "Who the hell would wear *that*?"

We ran. Just in case...
(purplegod counting down for Christmas!, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 16:55, Reply)