or
why thin women think they are fat.

Oh wait - attention. Now I get it.
(gutbeat, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:52, Reply)

I've never understood...
... why people would shrink crisp packets and put them on ebay?

(spose they complained about the shrunken heads eh lauging boy? hehehe! ;o))
( TooMuch2AM, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:50, Reply)

But....
..I really don't get thin people who think all fat people want to be thin like them and think they're superior just for eating a salad.
( beefandcheese, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:50, Reply)

Going out to get drunk and pull
I don't go out to be paraletic, It's not big it's far from clever and it just leaves you feeling like shit and with an empty wallet

another thing going out to "pull" GO OUT AND HAVE FUN NOT EVERYTHING RELIES ON STICKING YOUR TONGUE DOWN SOME GIRLS THROAT
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:50, Reply)

Woody Allen
he's not funny.

Guantanamo bay was invented for that twunt.
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:49, Reply)

chickens
Once, in a moment of weed-induced paranoia, I became convinced that everyone in the entire world except me got 'Why did the chicken cross the road?'.

Convinced that it was the most hilarious joke ever and I just didn't get it.

Cue much glaring at people and quivering.

Still think I'm right.
(sporky, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:47, Reply)

Gibberish
I just don't understand it
(brad83, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:45, Reply)

Sometimes,
manufacturers make 'mini' versions of things they sell, For example this mini 'Twister' game that I got bored of (and am now selling). So far, it makes sense. McVitie's make Mini Cheddars, but not normal sized cheddars. What the fuck's going on there?

edit: But sometimes I do the manufacturers job and shrink stuff myself
/plug
( Laughing Boy, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:45, Reply)

Are we allowed more than one?
1. People who come up to you in the street/phone you and try to sell you stuff. Surely if you wanted to buy something, you'd go into a shop and look for it, not the other way round?

2. Fashion - you're paying a lot of money to wear what someone else tells you to, and look the same as everyone else, yet this is supposed to be a GOOD thing?

3. People who pay £7 to NOT watch a film, and instead sit in the dark for two hours talking loudly, throwing stuff and playing with their phone.

4. Justin Timberlake.

Apologies for length (mine, not Justin Timberlake's).
(Tonto Popadopolous, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:44, Reply)

Roman Polanksi
People love his films, yet forget the fact that he's a fugitive kiddie-fiddler on the run (who ran away to France, like a little girl *badumtish*), why?
(roomproject, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:42, Reply)

Ummmmm, is it just me?
Steps (Especially H)
S Club Seven

I still can't figure out why.....

I have a life, honest.
(CdrVimes, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:40, Reply)

The Matrix
I went with friends to see this, they all raved about it, I was lost..it was utter pants.

Then my wife had heard it was really really good, and she wanted to see it, even though she doesn't like that kind of film.

So we both go and see it, I go again because I was sure I missed the point, I mean, I love Sci-Fi films.

Nope, load of old fucking shit, we walked out after 40 minutes.
( umbongo I vote for Evil Lu as Mayor of /talk, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:38, Reply)

The media
Why do they try and integrate chavs and/or ipods into every article, thinking it makes them edgy and 'down with the kids'.
They don't seem to realise that 'chav' is a word that has been used for over a decade, which only emerged in publications recently so the Daily Mail could go on about how much they hate gypsies and cackers.

And ipods? I think they need to go down to their local shop where they will find a whole range of better mp3 players for half the price.

Excuse me now, I must go and buy some burberry LIKE A CHAV LOL and gyrate COZ DEY DO IT ON THE ADVERT LOL.
(gutbeat, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:37, Reply)

why
Did England only score 2 goals.

Barn door, stood next to it, and hit it spring to mind.
(funkie, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:34, Reply)

Strong accents
At work, I often find myself able to understand some people with strong accents, usually Irish or Indian. Not all, I just find that some have really strong accents usually coupled with talking fast and mumbling and I genuinely can't understand what they're saying. It can be very embarrassing at times because I must come across like Marjorie Dawes!

Having said that, there are a couple of people at work with the same accent as me who mumble so much I have extreme difficulty understanding them. One of them's the deputy manager for God's sake!
(Mr Slippyfist, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:32, Reply)

I went to the dentist today
and she joked "I'm just going to take the tooth out and fiddle around with it for a bit then put it back in again," to which i politely replied "Okay." There was a silent pause while both me and her realised that I am a retard.
( Mousing, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:29, Reply)

slags
Why?

Why would someone want to be one? so they can say how many people they have slept with?To show off to their mates that they slept with so many people, to say 'i jus don't giff ar-fuck do i?'

Why would someone want to sleep with one also, wheres the fun in sleeping with someone that was probably giving your dad a BJ twenty minutes before.
(Stone Cold Minge Binge - Wrist Deep in a gibbon, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:27, Reply)

I'm with Kihap on this one...

I've NEVER understood the whole 'cheap at half the price' thing either.
(scunnydelight, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:24, Reply)

Nokia phones
People who won't buy anything but a Nokia phone purely because its easy to use. They all have the same options they just might be layed out a bit different. Its just lazy. Twunts
(brad83, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:24, Reply)

blond
my art teacher once spent an entire lesson explaining why it was funny when us naughty youngsters said "but i didin do nuffin' miss!"
cos it meant we must have done _something_. I smiled along knowingly with the rest of the clever-bastard types and figured it out 5 years later.
(cairo, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:23, Reply)

No Angel ... No Talent
Dido.

I'm puzzled as to why anyone spends perfectly good money her 'albums'. I can hum tunelessly for 45 minutes and produce much the same effect and - look! I'm £10 better off.

Eminem, this is your fault.

Oh, Willis86 - it's "umpteen things clean".
I'll be off then...
(littlemissperfect, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:22, Reply)

Killing
I can't understand why anyone would want to kill another person purely because of their beliefs/race/religion/nationality.

Couldn't we just all have a nice cup of tea and a chat, and maybe just agree to disagree?

(hums) Imagine all the people... doo de doo de doo uh huuh
(incrediblemonkeydoctor www.rantatsomeone.com - go on, have a rant, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:21, Reply)

Cobblers
you know, the people who mend shoes.

Why are they so good at cutting keys? what is the connection?
(Biggsy, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:21, Reply)

About half
of the messageboard images on b3ta.
(MattDP (Squiggle), Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:19, Reply)

I don't understand
Kihaps post further down - what the hell are you talking about??? I have never heard that "cheap at half the price" thing.
(Mr Slippyfist, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:18, Reply)

Mr Sheen
I dont understand the jingle at the end of Mr. Sheen adverts. What is the high pitched woman saying? "Mr. Sheen shines something something something".
(Willis86, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:17, Reply)

There's a time and a place...
When i first graced the talk board about six months ago, I noticed but couldn't understand the amount of *bumming* going on, and whilst I thought it was funny, I didn't quite understand when it was appropriate to pop up in a thread and bum away (WTF?). It took a few weeks of random experimentation to realise that on the talk board, bumming is always welcome!
( The Running Man, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:14, Reply)

Working through uni in a bar that had a Deacon as a regular
i never really understood why the other lads would jump at the chance to take the spack to the local massage parlour, assumed he had sore joints or something, until the day i turned up for work with a bad back and was asked to go with him.
_{Here's to you Rocky - hope you're still dribbling on the barmaids}
(i anglepoise, Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:13, Reply)

The BBC
and its seemingly relentless desire to find a new TV format and run the fucker into the ground. Strictly Dance Fever anyone? I'd prefer Strictly Yellow Fever...
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 31 Mar 2005, 16:10, Reply)