Ronseal Christmas songs & carols


We have done the ronseal "tell it as it is" theme before but not, unless I am mistaken, on Christmas songs and carols. So boot up photoshop and show us a festive ditty - literally.

Edit It's The First Noel FFS !
( The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:44, 7 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

What other things have the BBC made up?
With the "widespread outrage" (mostly Daily Mail/Mirror) of a Polar bear giving birth in a Frozen Zoo instead of in the wild on the BBC Frozen planet show.

Image Challenge : What other things have the BBC made up?

Twitter has been full of smart arses saying things like Button Moon, Walking with Dinosaurs etc etc but you lot are a cleverer than that.
( unclewilco, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Goats.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Movie Characters living a normal life.
Like for example, the girl with 3 breasts from 'Total Recall' now is a housewife with 2 kids, and makes a fucking awesome taco salad
( PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sun 11 Dec 2011, 14:51, Reply)

CHRISTMAS MONSTERS!
The most disgusting, horrific, evil monsters to ever descend upon mankind...but at Christmas!
(batmam, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 21:21, Reply)

SIDEKICKS!
In memory of comic book artist and Robin creator Jerry Robinson, who died this week. Take a well known character/concept/you, and give them a fitting sidekick.
( Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 18:14, Reply)

Lets shake on it
Bit late, but following Seb blatters comments on everything being solved with a simple handshake.
( SoBadItsGood Its only a crime if you earn <£100000, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 22:01, Reply)

Bad taste
how about presents that you would shouldnt but would love to give
maybe a nice shiny claw hammer
for that rather nice bearded peter sutcliff
or a pair of one size fits all gloves for jeremy beadle
how about a book on how to captivate your audience for personal gain
and finally brian blessed singing silent night for the local branch of sufferererss of nervous conditions
the possibility's are almost endless like my spelling
or am i just being a cunt?
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 18:52, Reply)

Ho ho homeless christmas!
tramp o'claus; leaving out a bowl of meths for santa on xmas eve; getting a terrible joke and a hat in your christmas crackpipe.

show us the lighter side of being down and out during the festive season.
would be superlovely if we could have a special donation icon, and all donations received during the challenge going to the charity that does so much for those without
www.shelter.org.uk/
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 16:02, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Steve MacDonold
Inspired by JamMmaster Geordie's rather terrifyingly large amount of Steve MacDonald pictures (as featured here ) lets all 'shop the Manc twat/hero (delete as applicable).
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 8:29, Reply)

DIY jokes
Find an unfunny photo on the internet and post in on /board without 'shopping it or providing any word of explanation. Then invite other users to come up with a humorous caption, suggest changes that they would have made, or post a handful of 'fail' gifs.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 19:28, Reply)

pushing the little, red button
have you ever been tempted to try pushing that little red button, and have been told not to? and when you finally do, it only opens your neighbor's garage...which is actually a lair of kiddie porn. so, that's only happened to me? fuck me silly, i don't believe you!
(frankomar1981, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Why christmas is fucking evil
Well, I hate it, surely others must do as well....
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 18:50, Reply)

Movember or Paedophile?
Prompted by the sheer amount of awful facial hair on display over the last month.

Image challenge...or maybe better as B3ta quiz....
(cupc@ke, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:49, Reply)

TinTin
Everything TinTin
( Rafi took last proton-pump inhibitor on, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Sexy Olympics 2012
Let's face it with Sebastian Coe, that retarded Logo, and those goddam awful CGI mascots the London 2012 Olympics are decidedly unsexy - so break your Photoshop out from the closet and Sex Up the Games - spam javelins and bi-athalons away!
( maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 20:15, Reply)

Make spiders less scary
Taking inspiration from this thread, I suggest we explore how to make our rather interesting and (sometimes) friendly neighbourhood arachnids more appealing to the general populace.
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Sat 26 Nov 2011, 22:13, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Magnetism.
Attracted, or... repulsed.
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 7:16, Reply)

Leonardo da Vinci.
Got tickets for the da Vinci exhibition? No. Of course you haven't. Nor can you afford touted ones.

Fortunately, you don't need tickets. You've got b3ta.

Entries on a theme of Leonardo da Vinci: go for it.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 18:56, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Is this a dangerous toy?
Well, is it?
(Smoked Oysters Yes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!, Wed 23 Nov 2011, 4:10, Reply)

John Lennon
Seems to have been a bit of a cunt.

Let's see the evidence.....
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Bar codes.

Those clever Japanese saw an opportunity to change boring bar codes into works of art. Find a way of incorporating a bar code into a picture or transform it into something a little less dull.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 16:42, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

One word: onomatopoeia

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Spraying What ?


(large version here
( Rafi took last proton-pump inhibitor on, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Put googly eyes on inappropriate objects.
Also suggested a while back by Wobbly Bloke :)
( Ysol ab abl blap, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 13:59, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Doctor Who: The Movie
Last time they tried this we had Peter Cushing and Roy Castle running away from fire extinguisher wielding Daleks. Will it get americanised? Harry Potterised? Let's see the movie poster
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Mon 21 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

populate planet spoon!
create the many wondrous creatures that live on my little world, planet spoon, such as the sparkly purple water mouse.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Nov 2011, 15:26, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Change one Letter
Change one letter in movie-titles, product names, idioms or similar

Quick and dirty example:


( Rafi took last proton-pump inhibitor on, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 14:14, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Having been burgled overnight
thankfully only losing some bank cards which have been cancelled, what kind of new evil, inventive, humiliating or painful security devices can we employ to prevent those nawty burglers from stealing our precious things?
( Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:39, 1 reply, 12 years ago)