Bacon. Quite irrashernal.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:39, Reply)

I didn't have any identifying documents
on my person this evening in tropical Turin. Valid bus ticket, but no passport. Was on my way to work. It seems I have to show my passport to bus inspectors. I spent 2 hours in the cop shop, so no pay plus a €61 fine for not having a valid bus ticket (see above). Missus didn't respond to any of my messages and is now watching TV and doesn't appear to give a shit. Hm. Think I may have more than one problem.
(barbedwiretumbleweed Fast 'n' Bulbous!, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:38, 4 replies)

The word 'like'
atomising sentences into short irritating bursts, and the people who do it.
( uncle bastard is twanging a dan moi, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:35, 3 replies)

People who move to the outside lane but don't speed up should be shot.
I don't mind your pulling out in front of me if you want to pass the slower vehicle in front of you. There's nothing wrong with overtaking.

I do, however, mind when you do it at the last second, when I'm just about to pass you, and you don't put your fucking foot down causing me to slow down.

If you're going to pull out, speed up. Or else you should die.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:34, 3 replies)

A few things
The word "Bumper" when used in relation to things that are large, not the part of a car, the word "Tot" (Small Child), and "Giga" (but only on boxes of nappies.)

Fancy dress can also fuck off, its bad enough having to deal with students in our local (The Oak, Headingley) who seem to think that the bar is for drinking at, just get your drink and move away from the bar, its not hard. When the place looks like Rambo's local thats very annoying, it would be nice if they put some effort in or just stopped altogether.

People wearing plimsoles.. did they make a comeback and I missed the memo, you look like you are getting ready for year 3 gym class, numpties.

3D glasses with the lenses poked out, you look retarded..
(liquidkristal, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:31, Reply)

Any twat
who does not indicate at a roundabout.

This makes me turn from normal driver to homicidal shouting lunatic for 5 seconds.
( doctordoctor I feel like a pair of curtains, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:26, 5 replies)

6 Music.
What should be (and, breifly) was the perfect radio station for me has swiftly disappeared so far up it's own arse, that I actually cheered when the BBC announced their intention to cut it. Now, it's being saved, and BBC7 is being rebranded as 4 Extra (why? Are the going to have Tim Westwood doing the Shipping Forecast?) - truly, the end times are upon us.
Seriously, though, they've actually managed to devote an entire radio station to the sort of people who still feel the same about music as they did when they were teenagers. Fucking well grow up - your not Jon Peel, your just an emotionally stunted tosspot.

And whilst I'm laying in to the BBC: BBC3. Anyone who watches BBC3 on a regular basis, should be stripped of their right to vote, on the grounds that they clearly have the IQ of a brain damaged sparrow. Everything about it is just shit.

Come to think of it, BBC4 could probably go, too, as no one needs Vicki Coren to be on the TV.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:20, 13 replies)

Notes and change
Please, please, please will you hand me the change before the note rather than dumping the coins on the paper in my hand. If you don't do this for me, one day I will go postal.
(Chickenwire social lubricator extraordinaire, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:20, 14 replies)

Also, I find the word "parkour" strangely annoying in print.
Probably because it's a real word but it looks like a misspelling of "Parker". Cognitive dissonance, see.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:15, Reply)

People who stop at the top of escalators to attend to text messaging
Specifically, the one headed down towards the tubes at Waterloo, yesterday. Yes you, you corduroy-jacketed open-neck-shirted fortysomething floppyhaired fucknugget. Old enough to know better, as well.

See also them groups of the kids having a chat right in front of the shop doorway. I like a chat too, but six feet thataway would be just fine. Now get out of the way.
(johnnyevil, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:10, 2 replies)

Horses
Goes against the grain, but I dont love horses or being rickrolled.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:07, 2 replies)

Yoga mats.
This is my current pet irritation:

Women, usually, who use Yoga mats like a fashion accessory. The mat is either rolled up under their arm or slung over their back in an overpriced bag. And, somewhere on their clothing is the word "Namaste." which I think is Hindu for "YogaTwat."
(Woofie, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:05, Reply)

Actually writing a blog post and describing one of my hatreds...
Wednesday night - Gareth Emery at Club Dream in Miami. I don't know whose dream the layout of this club was derived from. Maybe someone who masturbates at the sight of a bunch of money, into said bunch of money. I guess thats where the term 'money shot' comes from. But the Let me demonstrate why I'll never see one of my favourite DJ's perform at a club with my always conclusive and insightful illustrations:



So yeh, for three hours (while GE played) they had this huge roped off section empty hoping some sucker would drop uber amounts of dosh. It was painful trying to dance with my feet in such a crowd so I resorted to finger pointing high up into the air to the beat. Fairies started tumbling out of the holes I was poking in the air. They then formed up into a Fairyzord and beat me about with an ocarina of time.

Back in Sydney they'd have the DJ play in a fk off big warehouse. Always room to move, and only people there who've come for the DJ - not to be seen in some wankish club. Paying to reserve a seat gets you the ire of the rest of the patrons because its the biggest amount of suck that befalls a club goer who can only drum up the courage to talk to girls on the dance floor.
(lemonadegame, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:05, 5 replies)

To be honest, there's very little I actually hate.
But the one thing that regularly riles me beyond the usual background level of mild irritation is a shoddy piece of civil engineering - the junction of Spen Lane and Oxford Road, the two major roads in Gomersal, West Yorkshire.

Gomersal is not on any major routes, so although they're both A-roads they're narrow single carriageways. Although they're both fairly straight at the point of intersection, they intersect at nearly 45 degrees and the junction is built up on all sides, so it's quite a nasty blind corner. Till recently, there were no lights and it was a real black spot for accidents; now it's signalised, accidents are rare but the junction is now like a turbine that generates frustration instead of electricity.

Both roads are usually busy, and each gets several minutes on a green light while a nice long tailback builds up on the other - sometimes half a mile in peak times. On the two busiest parts, some genius decided to put bus stops literally five yards beyond the lights with a lay-by so shallow it doesn't give the traffic behind any room to pass (narrow single carriageways, remember?) so any bus setting down or picking up passengers ends up holding up the poor sods behind them who end up blocking the junction and creating more congestion. Then when the lights go red again, a grand total of six vehicles have moved off and the tailback builds up even more. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH.

My dislike of this junction is irrational in that it's completely out of proportion; I'd be the first to admit it's a tiny insignificance amongst all the world's lunacies, but it's the little things like this that build up and slowly erode your inner peace and goodwill like the sea against a limestone cliff. There's a financial aspect to the annoyance too - you spend so long sitting in queues it makes you piss your petrol right up the wall.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:03, Reply)

I am getting irrationally annoyed at this QOTW
out of sheer, impotent frustration that it is pointless picking up on people's stupid, ridiculous answers ('texting' is fine, what normal person would get annoyed by that?) because they are, already, being acknowledged as irrational.

I think we should have had 'rational' hatreds. That way I could have started calling people dicks.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 20:01, Reply)

ABBA
I realise they are very popular, and produced harmless, catchy pop tunes, so I can see why this is irrational, but I always turn the radio off if an ABBA song comes on. Even on an otherwise fun, cheesy night out, I'll find myself heading away from the dancefloor within the first bar of "dancing queen" or whatever else the DJ picks from their back catalogue.
( TheAlmightyBeev, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:57, 5 replies)

The misuse of highlighters
And let me tell you why.

In my job, occasionally I get lumbered with a stock count, which means checking that all of our thousand or so hearing aids are present. By serial number.

I have a sixty-something year old lady as a colleague, who gets the same fate as I do. I thought that it would be easier to check numbers off the list by highlighting them once we'd counted them, thus when you get nearer to the end, the un-highlighted numbers will stand out. Simple. Apart from the fact that my colleague cannot use a highlighter in the logical way. Instead of using the flat edge of the chisel tip to highlight the text in one broad sweep, she used the point to colour it in.

I put up with this for nearly seven hours (off and on, mostly on) before having to excuse myself to rant to an understanding colleague.

I feel angry just writing about it!
(Doam, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:53, 4 replies)

irrational hatred (even highly irrational but i digress)
people who smack their children in the street - its inevitably some bint with a face like a smacked and bee stung dogs arsehole shouting and swearing at the poor kid for something doubtlessly minor

children (every last damn thing about them) even more so if their parents let them run about screaming and then look at me funny if the kid spangs its snotty malformed face against my knee - also kids in pubs

pop music - nuff said
(imgunnabesick rawr ^ \_/ ^, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:51, 1 reply)

I know this is wrong, but I can't help it.
Short people. Hate em, as far as I'm concerned they've got no reason to live. God, their little hands and little eyes...and the need to big themselved up with lies.

I'm getting angry just thinking about their little noses and little teeth. Fuck 'em, with their funny littl platform shoes to gain a few inches. Their fucking little baby legs keeping them so low, you feel like you have to pick the fuckers up just to say hello. Beeping around in their little mini's and smart cars and with their little peeping voices. They disgust me with their grubby little fingers and filthy little minds.

Nope, no thank you, I don't want no short people round here.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:48, 4 replies)

Loose and Lose
It is very simple and easy to learn. Loose has two little 'o' shapes in it and usually means 'not tight', like your mother. Lose has only one. Which usually means 'to misplace or surrender' like your mother's virginity.

The inability to get these two very simple words right really winds me up, ESPECIALLY when the little fuckwit who does it earns about three times as much as I am (and yes I did tell him).
(elfinpunk Touching Cloth Since, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:48, 4 replies)

CUNTS

( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:39, 1 reply)

I'm a fairly easy going chap
But I can't stand intolerant people. Cunts. Of the highest order.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:38, Reply)

police

They think just cause they have flashy lights and sirens on their cars they have right of way.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:33, Reply)

Grammar nazis.
People who slavishly obey dictionaries cherish their over ordered sense of reality too much. Dictionary's were initially used to separate the upper class twit aristocracy from common speaking plebs, and when people still insist in doing so I get an irrational hatred of aspiring middle classes and their pretenses (symbols are always in flux... hating that means your ego hasn't come to terms with the conditions of life yet.)Shakespeare turned hundreds of nouns into verbs and they're not questioned, disliking new things is puritanical,and mostly just silly.
(speranza, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:26, 24 replies)

Those little fish symbols that severely disabled people are required by law to put on the back of their cars to warn people that they can barely drive.
It's degrading for them.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:23, 8 replies)

pink (colour, not the pop star)
I loathe the colour. I wasn't made to wear it as a young kid. Nothing I was given was ever coloured pink. But I can't help thinking it's a piss poor non-colour being the bastard child of red and white. It has nothing in it's favour and, as if I needed any further reason to hate it, it's somehow beginning to be the 'in' colour for chavs to wear. Why? Trying to trick us into thinking you're not a grubby little shithead? You still look like a twat, just a twat in a pink shirt.
( NooShmoo It's a fantazmagorical pile of ultra bollocks, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:22, 3 replies)

I hate seeing people walking around in coats with inside-out hoods.
They look like window-lickers. Can't they dress themselves? Don't they look at their coats before putting them on?

I have to fight the urge to straighten the hood out for them. If it's someone I know, like my 80 year-old mother, it's OK. If not, I have to grit my teeth, clench my fists and look away until they've gone past.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:19, 1 reply)

Nissan Micras
I think this one counts as irrational.

Now, I appreciate that the Nissan Micra is a popular car and there are probably those who enjoy driving them, but those who drive them seem incapable of approaching anywhere near the speed limit for the given road and instead will dawdle along and hold up everything behind them. See a queue of traffic ahead of you on a major single-carriageway road where it's hard to overtake? 99% of the time, it would seem, there will be a Micra bimbling along at 37mph at the front of it.

(My hatred is fuelled further by the fact I had one as a hire car several years ago, and it was the most godwaful piece of crap I have ever had the misfortune to drive.)
(FirstBendBunching All four back please..., Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:09, Reply)

Irrational Hate - Such a strong title to a QOTW, but, we all have our limits..
I'm generally a pretty patient person, rarely short tempered, and especially when dealing with the occasional arse-heads in life, I still manage to keep my grip on reality without feeling the need to take to a tall tower with a sniper rifle, however, for some reason, the following really gets me ticking with unfathomable rage which I simply cannot control..

People who walk really slowly, or don't say 'Thank You'.

Old people, pedestrians with trolleys, luggage, pushchairs, toddlers, lots of baggage, whatever it is that's slowing them down - fine, I can deal with that, no problem...

What royally fucks me right off, is when both of you are aware of each others presence, and they just keep on shuffling on, completely disregarding your need to get by.

It makes me want to hit them in the back of the head with a cricket bat.

The whole 'no thanks' thing however, is purely when you let someone through a door, pull out of a junction in their car, or simply help them with something and they just go on as if you don't even exist.

Oh, and people who, in order to make sure they get their point across, believe that they should continue talking over you, louder than you, and even repeating their point, just to make sure they're right, without even listening to your side of the debate in question.

Manners cost nothing.

Maybe I should invest in a cricket bat..
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 19:05, 1 reply)