Dear Woman who just phoned and got me out of bed
As I said, I will pay the electric bill over the counter as always. No, I do not want to make a payment now - how can you accept cash over the phone?
When I said "I don't have a bank account, let alone a credit card, and I think paying utility bills by credit card is foolish." I meant it.
So, I'm not sure why you asked me to set up a direct debit to pay in the future - I DON'T HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT as I mentioned. I don't care if you 'offer a discount' by paying this way - the benefits of not having a bank account outweigh your puny discount every time.
If the bill was late, I could excuse you getting me out of bed on one of the two days I get off work per week, but alas, your employers greed and lust for money I cannot.
Therefore, as inkeeping with big firms and banks these days, I am charging you £35 for the error of interrupting my sleep, and when I pay the bill OVER THE COUNTER as I explained about 5 times, it will be exactly £35 short of the amount on the bill.

Yours,

Pissed-off-sleepy-man-you-just-got-out-of-bed-for-no-reason.
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:05, 49 replies)

FIGHT THE POWER
Fight the power
FIGHT THE POWER
( Theoban What of it, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:24, closed)

Can you explain the benefits of not having a bank account?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:27, closed)

Not having to deal with banks?

( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 12:31, closed)

That
is the main advantage.

I've lost track of the times their cock-ups have left me high and dry. Now I hear about people who have been fucked over by them and think "I used to be like that"

For e.g., my mother, who went to Australia for her mother's 100th birthday last year - she informed the bank she was going, and indeed where she was staying etc.... a tel. number for the hotel and her mobile number.

So, you can imagine her dismay when after 4 days of being there, her cash-card no longer worked. It didn't work for the next 19 days either, basically stopping her from paying for her hire car and stopping her from driving to Melbourne to see her old school mates on the same trip.

If, as they claim, it was to protect her as there was 'unusual activity' on her account (unusual as in the card was being used in Australia, as she'd informed them it would be), then why did they just not telephone her to verify the activity? Why did it take 19 days after considerable cost (in phone calls from my mum to the bank) to get her card reinstated?

So, yet again, the banks have succeeded in holding on to someone elses money and fuck the consequences of their actions.

Nice.

So, given a choice of using these inadequate and inefficient 'service providers' and having ready cash, I'd opt for the cash every time.
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:38, closed)

^^^ similar has happened to me
except someone was using my card in another country - the bank didn't think to cancel it because of the 'unusual activity' of my card being used in TWO countries at the same time.

It was my emergency creddy card, and because I was in NZ and had the sum total of 14 days to return the signed declaration that I HADN'T spent several hundred pounds in the UK (having been spending NZD for the last year or so), well, do the maths.
Try sending something round the world twice in 14 days? Unless I wanted to pay for courier to door as well?!
As it was, I spent enough trying to get this sorted out on overseas phone calls, but all came good in the end (but complete pain in the arse)

Not the first time my card has been buggered up when travelling either
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 6:33, closed)

Scummers
In my mothers case, I've started legal proceedings against them for the cost of a return flight. A once in a lifetime trip ruined by their incompetence - it was over Christmas/New Year, so I assume the minimum wages scrotes at the bank couldn't be arsed to phone her, or indeed, sort it out once they were notified.

Everyone should be accountable for their actions, and as such, morally - if not legally - they owe her a trip to see her old school friends.
(dchurch bah, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 9:13, closed)

Do you even work?
If you get paid monthly you could end up having £1k+ of hard cash to stash away in your castle.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:29, closed)

I do
work, and do get paid monthly. I get considerably more than 1k a month though thankfully.
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 12:03, closed)

Do you request that your employer pay you in turnips?

( Theoban What of it, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:32, closed)

Luddite.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:33, closed)

If
you'd care to read some of my other posts you'd realise that this is very, very far from the truth.

In fact, to denounce an institution many centuries in the making would be somwewhat 'anti-luddite' wouldn't it?
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 14:23, closed)

Well done.
Not having a bank account is obviously the right way to go. I keep all my money under the bed and even though it has all been stolen a couple of times, it is worth it for the peace of mind I get from knowing that should the bank go bust, I will not lose my wad. I like to pay my bills over the counter and although it costs me almost fifteen pounds to bus into town and back, at least I am not paying bank charges. Fucking banks are so last year.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:35, closed)

I keep all my cash in a dog's bum.
There's no interest but there's LOADS of interesting.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:48, closed)

Sorry
A man goes into the doctors complaining of an uncomfortable feeling in his arse. The doctor has a look and discovers a £10 note stuffed up there. He looks further, and finds a £20 note up there too, then another, and another.
Eventually, the doctor looks at the patient and says, this was your problem, you had £1990 up your arse!"
"Didn't think I felt too grand"

again, apologies...
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 12:35, closed)

Thats bad
Hull, one way second class for you chap
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 19:35, closed)

I'm
sorry to hear that you've been robbed - you should invest in a fire-proof safe, like I have (60 quid, discount for cash ;-) ) - I've not had any bother with being robbed, or taking buses (I haven't taken a bus since I passed my driving test some 20 odd years ago).
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 12:02, closed)

You're a 'keep it all under the matress' kinda guy then?

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:41, closed)

You're probably not allowed to have a bank account
Simply because I hate you.
( Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 9:58, closed)

I'm saddened.
I read with interest all your tales of expertise in techno wizardry that make life better, and then I find you can't even arrange a Direct Debit because you don't have a bank account!

Talk about failed heroes!
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 10:09, closed)

I
won't let someone who I have never met have direct access to my money, and therefore I am a failed hero.

Odd reasoning.

...and it's not that I can't...it's that I won't, through choice.

I do find it odd that I'm being judged because I don;t like to use the, ahem, services of an inefficient cartel that supplies very little value and restricts the things in life that I like to do by witholding my hard-earned cash. I earned the money, I should be able to have as much or as little of it as and when I please, not when some institution that I have lent it to tells me I can.
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 12:01, closed)

I didn't mean to make you angry...
I sort of understand - I don't have a mobile phone.

To make up, when's your birthday? I'll pop a cheque in the card...
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 17:58, closed)

lol
I'm not angry, just a bit suprised at the reaction to someone without a bank account.

It's like I've done something wrong by not needing one.

I don't use supermarkets much either, prefering to use butchers, greengrocers etc... instead, I find you get better quality at a better price, but I probably shouldn't have mentioned that either.
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:32, closed)

Don't listen to them dchurch
I think you're a hero.

In fact you're my hero.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 10:41, closed)

What's the female equivalent of an Internet White Knight called?

( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 11:32, closed)

A pink knight..?

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 16:01, closed)

That's a gay one mate.
See?


( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 18:55, closed)

Not to pry too far...
But how do you actually live without a bank account? Do you get paid cash in hand?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 11:33, closed)

Yes.
I get paid cash in hand - and before you all start bleating, yes I do pay tax and NI. It's much easier, much faster, no building up queues in petrol stations while tapping in PINs and waiting to have it authorised, no waiting 3-7 days for 'transfers' - if I want/have to give money to someone I simply take it from my pocket and give it to them, no bank charges (like my GF who despite having around 2k in her account had a DD for 10 quid bounced, only to fall on deaf ears when she tried to get it back from the bank), none of this "you can only have 300 quid a day of your own money" bollocks, if I want 2k for a car or similar, then I simply open my safe and take out the cash, no informing a third party 5 days in advance because I want my own money.

When I make larger purchases in cash, I usually get a discount - my guitar for instance, I got 900 quid knocked off of that because I paid cash, my holiday home was paid for in cash, I got a considerable discount on that too.

In fact, the question you should perhaps be asking is, "What benefit do I get from actually having a bank account?"
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 12:00, closed)

Just to clarify
you got a £900 discount an item solely by virtue of the fact you payed with cash? So they save a couple of percent on the transaction compared to a credit card, which suggests that your guitar cost... £45000?
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:08, closed)

Also, how would you go about transferring a considerable amount of money over a long distance?
For example if you were buying something expensive that wasn't available locally? Would you trust a postman with a few grand of your cash?

Also, if you pay your bills promptly then you wouldn't get calls asking you to pay up.
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:11, closed)

I'm
sure you can think of more reasons than a couple of % saving on a credit card transaction can't you?

VAT, tax etc... add up to quite a lot. The guitar was up for 2300, I paid 1400 for cash. It's not my place to tell a shop keeper about the legalities or morals of his business practices...especially when he's just given me 900 quid off of something.

I'm not sure where you have got the impression that I'm paying bills late, and I frankly resent the implication that because I haven't got a bank account I therefore can't manage my bills. I pay my bills as and when they come in and it's convenient for me to do so.

I can't think of an instance where I'd be making a very expensive payment for something where I wouldn't be in the vicinity. A car? I'd like to see it before I bought it. A house, same story. A sofa - same again. In which case, Id have the cash on me, so this has never been a problem.

I wouldn't trust a postman with a few grand of my cash any more than I'd trust some desk-monkey in a local bank branch.
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 14:19, closed)

My assumption
that your bills were late isn't anything to do with your method of payment, simply that utility companies tend not to harass people for payment until the bills are overdue. Also, your points do seem pretty reasonable. The only other thing I forgot to mention was the additional protection afforded to you by the consumer credit act if you buy things on a credit card (although I personally would only do so if I had the money to pay the bill immediately)
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 21:55, closed)

It
appears that they also harrass you if they think you're not paying by the means that they would prefer you to as well, or haven't bought enough of their services.

I'm still not entirely sure how they got my telephone number to be honest, but hey ho.
(dchurch bah, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 7:54, closed)

twat
So basically, you only use cash so that you can break the law and engage in tax avoidance and money laundering? Your 900 discount was because you cheated and nothing more. You are a common criminal and deserve to be robbed. I cannot believe the level of your hypocrisy in suggesting banks screw us when you are screwing us too.
(stoozin, Tue 9 Mar 2010, 15:36, closed)

I would love to live without having to deal with banks
However, how would you get an employer to pay you in cash rather than BACS. Yes, you could ask them, but a lot of them have automated payroll systems.

Also, my ISP will only sell me their services if I have a direct debit. and I can't switch because I live in Hull where there is only one broadband provider and no option to go elsewhere.

There are a couple of other issues and if I could crack them, I'd drop the bank instantly.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:51, closed)

I
pay a year in advance for my ISP so this isn't an issue.

As to my employer, I simply asked them to pay me in cash. The accounts dept weren't extremely happy about it, but they agreed.

I've not ever not been able to make ends meet since. Before, I couldn't make it from month to month no matter how much I earned. I used to have bank account with Scabby. I got an account balance from their on-line banking, one from a bank teller and one from a cash machine - all three were different, it was then that I realised that it wasn't me just being bad with money, it was that I couldn't realistically tell how much I had short of writing down everything I ever spent - and thus, with cash I can look in the safe and know exactly how much is here and how much longer it is until more goes in. Easy.
(dchurch bah, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 14:20, closed)

How...
Did you get the cash money to your ISP?
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 15:20, closed)

I
went there and gave it to them. They are local, and weren't used to taking a payment a year in advance, but when faced with the cash they didn't want to turn me away.
(dchurch bah, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 7:55, closed)

If you had a bank account...
Perhaps that woman wouldn't have woken you up.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:26, closed)

Quite
probably, although I don't use supermarkets much either, perhaps I should expect a call from Tesco at 8.30 on a Saturday as well?

If I'd wanted to pay by direct debit, you'd think I would have set it up by now wouldn't you?

Still, the £35 that their bill is going to be short is going to come in handy.
(dchurch bah, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 9:10, closed)

As if...
They'll just demand the money from you, and if you don't pay it take you to court. Your little crusade against banking won't mean a thing to them.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 14:20, closed)

How
I wish they would take it to court. I've sued just about every bank in this country and not once did any have the bottle to take it to court.

Read the reply below and you may be a little suprised to hear that most firms pay up when you charge them for their cock ups.

I'll let you know in a week or two if the leccy company is the same, I'm betting that they are.
(dchurch bah, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 7:50, closed)

CCJ is right
Although, you do have the advantage of not having to worry about any effect the dispute would have on your credit rating! Also, I'm curious, what's the deal with buying a house without a bank account? Or do you just rent? Either way, I'd like to know if it's possible to buy a house without the full amount in cash if you've not got a bank account.

Also, although you've pointed out several reasons that having a current account would be a nuisance to you, surely keeping any savings you've accumulated in cash means that you'll lose money due to inflation, instead of making a tidy sum in interest?
( greedyostrich Cheese is evil! Cheddar is VOODOO!, Sun 7 Mar 2010, 21:59, closed)

That
would be true if I saved the money in cash, but generally when there's enough I buy *things* -- usually certs, property or things like classic guitars that won't devalue.

I'm not sure about here, before I bought this house I did have a bank account, but in France when I bought my holiday home, they were more than happy to take cash (which also saved me a packet on *transfer* fees etc...).

It's going to sound like a Honda Accord moment, but I simply sold things, saved and did deals to get the cash together to buy that house...they were a little suprised when I turned up with the cash but they were more than willing to count it out and accept it! Of course, the trouble started here, when, despite giving Scabby their required two weeks notice that I wanted to change a large amount of sterling for Euros, they didn't have it when I turned up to collect - resulting in me charging them - which they paid without question.

You'll be suprised to hear no doubt, that when firms do fuck up and you charge them, as they charge us, that 9 times out of 10 they simply pay up.

When my GF moved in here, she duly filled in all the forms at the bank for change of address - of course when her cash card expired they sent it to her old address (some 9 months later), I worked out that if we saw that as 'insufficient funds' as it would be the other way around, they would have charged her a total of 105 quid. I wrote on her behalf saying that they should deposit that amount within 14 days, and...£105 quid appeared in her account about a week later.

My colleage has lots of trouble with his bank too, now when they fuck up he charges them £35 - not once has it been refused.

The *secret* is that consumer contracts have to be *fair* - meaning that they cannot be one sided, so if they charge you for a cock up, then it has to work the other way around to be legal in English contract law. If hey charge you, then there is an implied term in the contract that you can do the same. If they claim that it's not a penalty (as penalties are not allowed), then you can use that to your advantage.

Incidently, it's not a 'little crusade' against the banks, I simply can't see any merit in using them. Sit back and look at what they actually do for you, and you'll find it's not a lot - I'd just rather not use firms that are not very good. I don't buy from Asda for the same reason - not a crusade, I just don't like their products. I find banks are the least competent of any industry that I've ever had to deal with - so I simply don't do it any more.
(dchurch bah, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 7:49, closed)

Amateur.
I insist on being paid in gold bullion. You're just a cog in the system, using banknotes.

And I get four million tonnes of bullion an hour, and I own the biggest and fastest yacht in the world. Also I own the moon.

Banknotes. FFS.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:59, closed)

Own the moon
but I own the rights to gravity so you have to pay me to keep it in orbit.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:16, closed)

Ok
I'll get on my authentic flying carpet and come and meet you, before pouring a cornucopia of valuable gems and trinkets into your lap. Which I will have previously taken from my safe, which is the best in the world, and makes Fort Knox look like a proper idiot. And it's got a computer brain.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:29, closed)

There's no way this can be true

(TheColonel, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 10:41, closed)