I live in York.
There's a place just up the road from here called The Farmer's Cart, it has a great farm shop and cafe, as well as being a family day out where you can take the kids round to look at the sheep, the pigs, the baby chickens etc.

Last time I went I spent some time looking at the goats out front- apparently there's one particularly horny old goat who doesn't care if he's fucking a billy goat or a nanny goat.

I laughed out loud when a member of staff told me about this.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 19:34, Reply)

I spotted a bloke I was at college with who was a self-confessed racist.
Hadn't seen him for 20 years. He was finishing a fag break and turned to go in through the door of his office, which, according to the buzzer is a firm called Jungle. Maybe he's changed after all.
( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 15:55, 2 replies)

I like how the Anti-Nazi League think Nazis shouldn't be allowed to express their opinions.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 15:42, 43 replies)

Pithecanthropus bigotus
Couldn't find a link; probably missing.
(roysin, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 12:33, Reply)

STAY ABOUT FROM MY BIGOTS
Especially the black one
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 11:34, Reply)

In the interest of promoting diversity I thought we should do a QOTW census
Please select the choice which best describes you




( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 10:18, 20 replies)

I started to see a woman
but she dumped me after the third date. She said she couldn't carry on with someone as bigoted and dyslexic as me.

It surprised me, as I never had me shoes and socks off so how could she know?
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 10:07, 7 replies)

Immigrants
At my Dads funeral about 2 years ago there was the usual meeting of friends and family who'd traveled to pay their respects. It was nice to see most of them, and to be honest its probably the last time Ill see some of them. One husband and wife team who came, Trevor and Linda, were family friends. In the evening, amidst the converstaion, Linda begins regailing everyone with a tale of how her Daughter and Hubby have been kicked out of Canada for being immigrants (I forget the details, something to do with Visas I think). And isnt it awful that the Canadian Government let this happen. And then in the next breath shes moaning about how eastern Eurpoeans get so much help from the Governmenet when British people are suffering. So the message appears to be "Immigrants and foreigners should not be helped unless they are British, in which case all nations should rally round".

I truly wish Id called her on it, stupid whiney cow.
(kitescreech still here, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 8:53, Reply)

At work we have an onsite occupational therapist.
She is a lovely lady called La'Quee-Shonda.
She is a very professional person, she is always made up immaculately and since I have worked there she has never stepped down from a challenge, no matter how big or small.
She conducts all of the OT training and implementation of corporate policies onsite and takes care of any physical injury based issues in a calm and straight forward manner.
I would describe her as being "larger than life" in both her stature and her attitude.
She also edits the company newsletter excellently as she used to be a copywriter.
Overall I get on with her really well and enjoy her company. If I was asked to describe what it's like to work with her I would say -
"She is big, OT/Ed."
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 23 Feb 2013, 5:51, Reply)

Back in the days that Section 28 still existed...
I went on a demonstration outside the gates of Canterbury cathedral to protest against it. Canterbury is of course the most useful place in the world to demonstrate in. Some tiny little Kentish village that's only famous because of the hefty girt pile of stones in the middle of it (a cathedral that looks surprisingly like a Mon Calamari cruiser) doesn't exactly have many people of political authority lurking about in it, but demonstrate we did.

Anyway. Imagine the scene. About two dozen people (generous estimate) including me were milling around outside the Franklin & Firkin (some of us getting as far as Dunkin' Donuts!) holding banners and shouting things like "Down with Section 28! (careful now!)" and "We're here, we're queer, and we don't really appreciate an anachronistic and overly socially conservative piece of local legislation which in reality serves only to further persecute an already vulnerable section of society by depriving them of valuable pastoral support from a group of people who really ought to be able to help them!". Yeah, we had the whole protesting thing down to a tee. So anway. I was milling about, as you do at this sort of thing, when a sweet little old lady, must have been well into her eighties, came up to me and started having a chat.

"So what's all this about then?" she asked. I started explaining what Section 28 was, and why we thought it was a Bad Thing. After a few moments, she looked me up and down and said "So you're a gay then?", at which point I explained that no, I was straight, but the vast majority of my friends there were. This sweet, dear, charming elderly lady gave me a conspiratorial wink and said "Gays didn't exist when I was a girl, but at least they're better than the fucking niggers. Good luck to you!"

Exactly the sort of people we were hoping to get the support of! I felt proud.
(quaint, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 2:55, Reply)

last week, i went to pick my son up from infant school which he'd just started at a few weeks ago. most of the parents hadn't met each other before, or were newly aquainted, due to it being a new school for their kids.

anyway, i was chatting to a few of the other parents, including a taiwanese guy who i knew because his son had gone to the same pre-school as mine.
we'd been chatting for 5 or 10 minutes when a guy, who's son was in the same class as the taiwanese guy's, came wandering over and said hello. (i'd met him briefly a few days before and had taken a dislike to him as he seemed to be a bit of a twat and had no sense of humour.)

anyway, he indicated to the woman stood with us and asked if she was taiwanese guy's wife. the taiwanese guy looked a little surprised and said no, that she was a friend and that the guy had met his wife last week.

i couldn't believe it when the guy uttered the immortal lines

"oh, well, you all look the same don't you?"

what a twat
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sat 23 Feb 2013, 2:36, 5 replies)

I've got a mate called Jeremy.
Well, when I say "mate" I really mean more of an acquaintance - see Jeremy can be (and usually is) a bit of a cunt. To everyone.
His missus is an absolute corker - she's the one who brings home the bacon, hard yakka as a model jetting around the world (Jezz does own his own sporting shoe store) but as far as she's concerned the sun rises out of Jezz's anal sphincter every morning. To her he is the most unkind & hateful person ever.

I can see a little bit tho why he has such a rude disposition. See Jezz's mum took thalidomide when she was pregnant with him. Due to that he has small fore-arms with only a couple of digits on each hand. This presents him with some trouble completing some tasks that require fine motor skills. On top of that he was diagnosed last year with early onsent Parkinsons. So his hands now also are starting to shake - again causing him trouble with performing tasks that require a steady hand.

Due to his chosen profession as a shoe salesman, his ailments and his general demeanor I have come to find that Jeremy is indeed a horrible lace-ist.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 22:14, 4 replies)

Gina Yashere is really funny because she tells jokes about Nigerians.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 20:58, 5 replies)

Nazi bastard
Two examples

1. Went to an ANL concert in the 1990's and came back to find a bunch of skinheads making a swastika out of Cadbury fudges on the bonnet of my car. Still don't know wtf it was supposed to do, make me hate fudge?

2. My Dad refers to people with skin darker than white as 'the problem'. I hate him and had my revenge by making sure his carer was from the Ivory Coast, body of a godess and voice of an angel.
( The Beast can't help looking at womens breasts on the tube, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 20:23, 7 replies)

Do you know why Ben Elton never told any racist jokes when he was doing stand up ?

Because he didn't fucking know any .




j sadowitz
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 20:17, Reply)

My Spanish mother in law
was complaining about how badly children are brought up nowadays. She proudly told me that she had brought hers up properly. For an example, she said that when she caught her son spitting in the street, she told him "don't spit in the street, only Gypsies and Jews do that."
( MyFrontFellOff ; his mouth full of teddies, urinating defiantly, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 18:21, 5 replies)

I don't know what I'm more offended by:
The fact that this bunch of tedious, offensive dross will inevitably hammer yet another nail into the coffin of QOTW.

OR

It's apparently acceptable to use the word 'LOL' as an adjective in a public communication.

**sigh**
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 17:35, 29 replies)

Isn't the human mind a wonderful thing?
I'm a bigot myself. I admit it. I am completely prejudiced against fat people: I don't respect them, I'd give a non-fattie a job in preference to an equally qualified fattie, and I wouldn't go out with a fat lass.

Which is a bit stupid, really, since I'm fat.

It amazes me, what the human mind is capable of.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 15:52, 9 replies)

more xenophobic, really
my friends are all slags, except any who are not purest milky white. they're paki slags.
so speaks my brother. all my male friends are either faggots, fucking quilts or paki nonces. all his ex-girlfriends are ugly slags. all his (3)friends' girlfriends are slags, but he would never call them this within their boyfriends' earshot.
fat people should be shot. immigrants should be fucking hung(apparently, shooting's too good for 'em). the mentally handicapped are all useless mongs who should be drowned at birth.
and so on and so on and so on, from the age of 12 to the age of 40, he's been spouting this poisonous shite. i can only hope that, one day, he'll insult someone large and touchy, who'll beat the living shit out of him.
it's the only way he'll learn.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 15:46, 17 replies)

Bromsgrove's finest.
Last weekend, I visited the aforementioned 'paradise', whilst visiting my girlfriend's parents. An enjoyable time was had by all, and after a cinema trip on the Saturday, we decided to venture to the pub to meet some of her Dad's old friends, as they were out for a birthday drink.

As we turn the corner to the pub, I understand why my girlfriend wasn't too happy about coming here. Shithole would put it kindly. Either way, we nipped in, and bought a pint. We were chatting to people, all seemed friendly (even managed to get an email address for a work contact), and we were having a good time.

We started chatting to one bloke, said he was a biker in a big gang, (I felt no need to disagree), but that since he lost his previous job a couple of years ago, he'd had difficulty finding work, as he was too old for most places to hire him, but too young to take his pension. I was feeling sympathetic with him, until he came out with the old classic 'Of course, if I'd come over here, I'd get a job and a house easily, they may as well push me out of the way!".

Lovely. He seemed to calm down a bit after that, and the conversation moved on to other topics, mainly ones he'd get slightly less angry about. Eventually, he moved off to talk to someone else, and the evening carried on nicely.

That was until we hear a loud voice singing 'There's no black in the Union Jack'. Guess who was singing that? Like I said, charming fellow(!)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 15:26, 6 replies)

I'm a terrible, terrible person
I've spent a fair amount of this week laughing at the tweets on the Everyday sexism project. Without even checking my privilege, or anything.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:57, 7 replies)

Bigots should really be left in their natural habitat
and under no circumstances should be considered as possible pets. Territories are clearly marked, visual displays are unmistakable. If encountered, avoid aural contact at all costs; once they grab your attention they will never let go.

Although not listed as endangered, numbers have begun to slide recently, due to loss of natural habitat/ nutrition.

Related to the monogot, which is 50% less nasty.

If you wish to sponsor a bigot, please don't.
(roysin, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:46, 1 reply)

...The fuck?
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=354638721316785

Not strictly on topic I guess but that's fucking creepy...
(bottle_cap, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:43, Reply)

BEING AN RACIST IS FUNNEH NOW!!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:34, 1 reply)

GUESS WHAT?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)

HAHAHAHA

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:33, Reply)

Intolerance. It's funny. For certain values of funny.
So there I was on Teh Internets, more specifically IRC.
Channel isn't important.

I log in and cheerfully slap out a greeting:
"Hello there ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready to rock?"

Cliched perhaps but suitable for the circumstances. Or so I thought until amongst the replies came the line

"How fucking DARE you! That is SO rude!"

I blinked, I thought for a moment, I checked which channel I was in just in case I'd accidentally logged into "Recovering Guitar Hero Addicts anonymous" or similar.

The ensuing conversation boggles me to this day.

"How dare I what ? Say hello ?"

"You just mis-gendered me in front of the whole channel you prick!"

"erm ? Oookay, You don't count as either "Lady" or "Gentleman" ?"

"No. I fucking don't and I'm fed up of having my identity trampled by people like you and your gender intolerance!"

"Right. So, what word should we be using if 'Lady' and 'Gentleman' don't cover it ?"

"There isn't a word. I don't fit into any of your straightjacket stereotypes. I'm free. Get used to it!"

"(sigh) Ok then. Hello there Ladies and Gentlemen. Are you ready to rock ?"

"You intolerant prick! You did it again!"

"I wasn't talking to you..."
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:30, 9 replies)

I know this bloke...
...who claims that Chinese people have no souls.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:27, 5 replies)