The Hand Of Glover
Do you remember Brian Glover off Kes, Alien 3, Jabberwocky, The Fishing Party etc.? Big burly Yorkshireman ex-wrestler turned thespian - now sadly passed away.

When I was a kid I went to see him perform in The Canterbury Tales at The Crucible thatre in Sheffield. Afterwards he was hanging around still and meeting the audience. I was a big fan and went to shake his hand, which I did - but it was the most delicate, foppish and limp sweaty handshake I can recall. And that's all I'll remember of Brian Glover now. Booo!

Oh yeah, and Des Lynam killed my dad.
(zootius, Sun 28 May 2006, 19:09, Reply)

my flatmate had a run in with Girls Aloud...
...just at the time the Popstars: Rivals TV show was finishing being aired Girls Aloud were in Newcastle where they came to my flatmates DJ booth and requested their new single. He, being highly opposed to "manufactured pop crap", went on for a good 15 mins on how the wanky unimaginative single would fail and he would refuse to play it if ever asked, even taking the cd out of his collection and snapping it in front of them to make a point. In his defence he didnt actually realise he was talking to all the members of Girls Aloud at the time, although kudos to him if he did realise and decided to go for it anyway.

no apologies for length, girth etc. only for the continuing use of this witty innuendo.
( Mister B is eating an icanhazcheezburger with lmaonaise, Sun 28 May 2006, 18:50, Reply)

Do you know who I am
Some pub in the middle of nowhere, well Hebden Bridge actually, but you get the idea! About 2 hours into a Saturday night lock in. In walks Jason Orange (not a hero by any stretch of the imagination) with his mates/hangers on (delete where appropriate) Saunters up to the bar like he owns the place and asks for 8 bottles, barman says to him something along the lines of "sorry mate can't serve you, gone closing time". Usual celeb response of "Don't you know who I am" follows, barmans' answer "Yep and that's the other reason I'm not serving you"! Also saw the same thing done to a utterly trashed Richard Whitley a few years before!

Apologies for length, but it's my fist time and I didn't know how to fold it half!
(The Inevitable Pelican, Sun 28 May 2006, 18:05, Reply)

Wino on France
A friend of mine used to work with the TV company that produced the first series of Keith Floyd's famous cookery series. Now I remember myself as a kid of four, gathering 'round of a Saturday evening and watching this with the family. Mr. Floyd represents happy, cosy times for me. Imagine my disappointment as I'm told "Yeah, he was an abrasive charmless alcoholic who couldn't even cook. I wouldn't work with him again for all the money in the world." I didn't actually get to *meet* the man but by all accounts it would seem as though I dodged a bullet there!
(Whizzer, Sun 28 May 2006, 17:40, Reply)

"Opportunity Knocked" so he asked
Everybody else on here will be far to young to remember this guy . If you are bothered "google" will tell you all about him, an awful man.
Many years ago my brother and some of his workmates were doing some work on a van belonging to an ITV camera crew that had broken down on the motorway. One of my brother's mates remarked "I bet you get to meet all the stars don't you?" "Oh yes" came the reply" "So what is that Hughie Green like in real life?" "Oh that nasty tempered bastard" The cameraman retorted "We hate him!"
I think he 'Meant that most sincerely folks!'
(Mackeson_drinker, Sun 28 May 2006, 16:41, Reply)

Jimmy Saville
My boss Jason was once a very keen athlete and started running seriously when quite young. One of his big heroes as a kid (courtesy of 'Jim'll Fix It') was Jimmy Saville.
One day Jay took part in a long charity run and after a while spotted the blonde Yorkshireman some way ahead, cigar in mouth as usual.
Eager to greet his great hero he put on the best spurt his youthful legs could manage and caught up with the great man.
'Hi Jimmy, my name's Jason. Pleased to meet you!'
The Great JS's reply?
'Fuck off'
(fergus the bogeyman Beware of geeks bearing gifs!, Sun 28 May 2006, 15:23, Reply)

Dr Karl Kennedy
I was out with a load of my friends on new years eve 2001 in a trendy bar that used to be a fire station. It was quite empty for some reason and we were one of only two big parties in there. Suddenly we heard a furore from over the other side of the room, it was squeels of delight from some of my friends who'd been at the bar and had noticed none other than "Dr K". I was extremely sceptical of it being him but in my drunken state I went over and started loudly stating that it couldn't be him and he was just some middle aged sleaze who was using his passing similarity to the "Love Dr" to hit on 18 year old girls. The guy took it in good humour (well, he didn't hit me) and after the believers had solicited signatures we moved on. The first thing I noticed on exiting the door was a large advert on a bus stop for a panto starring Dr Kennedy in Sheffield.

I don't know if this is considered long so I will apologise just in case.
(Pete_G, Sun 28 May 2006, 14:56, Reply)

Whiplash halitosis blues
Whilst working at a rehearsal studio complex in Greenwich in the 80's we had regular bookings from demi-famous types. The disapointing ones:

King Kurt, who turned up on time, were very disciplined, worked very hard, and were stone cold sober constantly. Rather hoped they'd trash the place, especially after my boss made me swathe everything in plastic in case they had a gunge fight.

Squeeze. The other end of the scale. Regularly turned up late, tuned up for an hour and then went to the pub for three hours. I had a deep respect for these 'local heroes' and whilst their slack working habits were a bit of a let down Jools Hollands 'dead rat' stink breath was totally lethal. Gilson was a total gent though, and let me intefere with his shakers.

Nena. Y'know older readers, 99 luftballons and all that. A bad tempered Kraut dog in the flesh. I had quite fancied her prior to that.
(Mr Steve is jobless and fancyfree!, Sun 28 May 2006, 14:21, Reply)

Snoop Dog @ Heathrow
A few weeks ago I was at Heathrow returning from a business trip to Frankfurt. About 20m away I saw a crowd gathering... I looked closer and it was none other than Snoop Dog and his posse. Imagine my surprise when I read the following day's paper and saw that he and some of his crew had been arrested for being knobs in a lounge. I worked out that I must have seen him about 10min before all the fighting broke out...

-----

Back in 1999 I went to see Deep Purple at the Palace in Melbourne. Having been a fan for years I decided to wait outside the venue for the band to come out after the show. After about 2 hours I got my wish and the band emerged. They signed autographs and chatted with fans. I was most excited about seeing Ian Gillan the singer - but to be honest I found him to be a bit of a prick.

--------

At an adult exhibition a couple of years ago I met Jenna Jameson. I was so excited that I came in my pants right then and there. *


* that last story might well be a complete fabrication
(pit, Sun 28 May 2006, 13:55, Reply)

z-list celebs
used to work in an airport bar so many 'celeb' encounters

sean maguire (grange hill eastenders sang a bit too apparently) was the unfortunate victim of a cruel bar jape we used to play....you know those soda guns that dispense well soda water or coke etc if you jam it into the holder when someone pulls it out the nozzle stays in holder and pop sprays everywhere....norm this just hits the staff....you can fill in the rest...he was nice about though (free drink?)

i also once sold what i thought was some twunt trying to look like steve vai a salad and some drink or other that came to 6.66 (i shit you not ~ though if steve is reading i under charged you btw)

turns out it WAS the man himself going off to a gig in dublin having played my city the night before....

jeremy beadle ~ man how i wanted to hate him...but hes a very nice man who signed a lot of things for people although he prentiously signs his name with the tagline "watch out"

no hummus but plenty of length and girth
(Paul1574 dont mind me im just lurking...., Sun 28 May 2006, 12:48, Reply)

Apeloverage...
"Maybe it's just the photo

But is the breast with the Space Invader on it about three times as big as the other one?"

Heh, yeah, it's the photo, there's a smear of permanent ink on the other one that looks like a shadow and I think I was leaning funny.

And just to make this a little more relevant, I saw that guy that plays Keith Miller in Eastenders in the Apple Store. I wasn't too disappointed, but he really *is* that ugly.

Edit: Oh, and Beve The Spaniard, that would be "hero-INE", but thankyou very much. And no you can't have the whole version. :)
( Bats, Sun 28 May 2006, 11:40, Reply)

Ken and Dierdre Barlow
Met them in an Esso Garage. Ken was buying dry roast peanuts. Deirdre was looking at 'Razzle' magazines. Neither of them answered me even when I was right up in their faces shouting "KEN" and "DIERDRE".

I got my own back by doing a number 1 in their petrol tank and murdering Ken.
(Andrew Avetoom, Sun 28 May 2006, 11:23, Reply)

When I was little,
The Wiggles came to my kindy! (before they were famous and that, though.)
(DarthDonsbal, Sun 28 May 2006, 10:42, Reply)

FOAF tale
FOAF worked at PC World and found all that kiddie porn on Gary Glitter's PC.
(Elizabeth Duke at Argos, Sun 28 May 2006, 9:49, Reply)

Not me, but I was present at the time...
We were at The Purple Turtle in Mornington Crescent when fellow B3ta board member Quelabra almost got in a fight with the alleged "comedian/magician" Jerry Sadowitz, because Quelabra wanted a photograph of the top-hatted poultroon being "held like a duck".

And we saw Robert Downey Jr in The Crown & Goose in Camden. He was reading a paper and looking very normal. I should have offered him some tequila, some crack and a gun. But hindsight has 20/20 vision.

And Rhys Ifans in The Lord Stanley, which is also in Camden.

I'm fairly certain that all of these celebrities only descended on NW1 because I lived there. Now we've moved, it'll just be crackwhores and goths again.
( 100% of Gibbon, Sun 28 May 2006, 4:13, Reply)

I've interviewed a few people from bands..
..ones you've probably never heard of.

Gary Barnacle from Leisure Process - When we weren't chatting about the band talked briefly about his time with Kim Wilde and a great (but libelous) story about Level 42 and Shakatak.

Ray Burmiston from Passion Puppets - Now earns a crust as photogher of the stars. Had to take the Spice Girls management to court in order to get them to pay what they owed him.

I've also interviewed Landscape, the lead singer of The Pinkees and The Aces. Landscape singer Richard James Burgess answered my questions in detail, top bloke.

Paul Egholm from The Pinkees answered my questions and was really touched when I sent him a copy of his album on CD.
(Chuckman, Sun 28 May 2006, 1:53, Reply)

Not me, but my wife
who was staying in some posh Chicago hotel on a business trip and enjoying the continental breakfast. She looks up to see Michael Jordan standing beside her fixing a cup of coffee. She had a few words with him and wished him luck on his final game that evening. She said he was a really nice guy.

I can't remember anyone famous I've met, though I did have a meal and a fairly nice conversation at a New Jersey hotel bar with who I believe was a member of the mafia (and his two 'henchmen'). He even offered to buy my dinner, but I told him it was on an expense account, so it wasn't really necessary.

Dunno how this relates to the question really. No bad experiences.
( Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Sun 28 May 2006, 0:04, Reply)

not exactly heroes
In used to work for Boots and also Marks and Spenser in the West End. Served or saw many celebs.

When at M and S I did a year or two on the returns desk. Being a busy store, people would buy stuff, try it on at home, then bring them back. No problem. I have held in my hands one of Gloria Hunifords " bodies ", you know the type of thing with poppers in the gusset.

Joanna Lumley also handed me her unwanted bra. To my shock, cos I just had to check, she is only an A cup. Very disapointed. The Dept was also based on the lingerie floor...heaven !

Oh, and whilst working for Boots, I found myself sat on a till for the lunch hour. Mindlessly bored by this, I kept my spirits up by oggling chests of the female customers...as you do on sunny days in the West End. While humming and ah-ing on the relative mertits of one particular set of norks, I looked up and noticed they belonged to legal superwoman Helena Kennedy...and she caught me ! Such an icy look...which I well deserved !
(brucekitty, Sat 27 May 2006, 23:03, Reply)

travis
Many moons ago, a good friend and I used to drive transit vans around england, stoned out of our minds, delivering beer fridges to big events. Well, we had to deliver some fridges to Riverside studios in London for ginger tosser Chris Evans TFI friday. It was actually a really small bar area upstairs - lot smaller than it looks on TV.

We went out to get another fridge and as we are wheeling it in past the downstairs stage, the band for that night (travis) are doing some pre-recording. Cue two stoned guys and one big fridge going right past stage front. We didnt notice wtf was going on until they stopped playing and Fran, shouting our way, gives a 'thanks very much lads.' We shrugged and carried on our merry way. Sorry for the interruption Fran :)
(shamen Geekius Maximus, Sat 27 May 2006, 22:52, Reply)

Maybe it's just the photo

But is the breast with the Space Invader on it about three times as big as the other one?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 27 May 2006, 22:33, Reply)

i finally have a story to post!
in 2001 my school went on 50/50 the kids gameshow. we were SO excited! on the bus to glasgow we were extremely nervous, being on telly and all. we got to the studios in glasgow, and expecting to be shown in to a very plush building with lots of celebrities, we were taken into a house opposite them. the food offered was jacket potatoes and muffins, the first of the bbc cheats!

finally it was time to film, and when i had watched 50/50 before i had always enjoyed it. now i wonder why. here are the things i'm pissed off at the bbc for:

*i, number 25, did not get chosen for a single game or even question
*they forced us to cheer constantly, which hurt my arms
*the presenter wasn't the one i expected, less of a celebrity
*'flynn' i think his name was, the voice, was actually a man behind a little table in plain view
*the opposing team only had 49 kids turn up, so one of ours had to make up their numbers
*then their team won

that was my claim to fame anyway, being on 50/50 and being dissapointed by the bbc - if this wasn't child slave labour then what is!?
(hamstrungbarber chris, 1990, united kingdom, Sat 27 May 2006, 22:24, Reply)

William Straw
As in, son of Jack. Less of a hero, more of a tenuous connection with. My physics teacher used to teach Mr. Straw junior, and so we get the story of him.
Most of the physics class, including William (or so I'm led to believe), had formed a band called Bare Naked Ladies. Obviously, come the leavers' party, they were playing.
Now, a mosh pit formed. And some parents were there for some God-known reason. One of the parents tries, and fails, to mosh. Their ankle gets broken and Mr. Physics Teacher witnesses this event. It all goes wrong, turns out Will wasn't a hardcore rocker, just a turnip who thought he could headbang.
Can't even control a mosh pit for cripes sake.
And so Mr. Physics Teacher has never gone to another leavers' party, he still has the tape of Bare Naked Ladies, collecting dust in his office.
Come to think of it, that had flip-all to do with the question.
(Gat Bandish I've got wood in my soul, Sat 27 May 2006, 21:16, Reply)

School Trip to London Zoo, Circa 1999...
and a weasley little guy in our class, Shane, is sure he's spotted the Potato-Headed Steve Mcfadden, AKA Eastenders' Phil Mitchell, wandering round the monkey enclosure with his family.

Half an hour on and sure enough as we're checking out the Reptile House we see the Fat cockney Bastard coming round the corner towards us. Shane gives us all the "I fucking told you cunts" look before wandering up to the B-list Twat to try and say Hi. He approaches cautiosly just as Steve turns round to face him.

"Oh Fucking Fuck Off You Little Cunt!!"

Classic.
(BatCountry organised, attended, and was thrown out on, Sat 27 May 2006, 21:14, Reply)

Sophie Ellis Bextor
The odd-looking pop bird herself used to go to my college, and as is generally the way with ex-students, often dropped into the union bar when she was in the area.

I was of course hoping that when I ended up meeting her, she'd be a total bitch with an entourage of fawning minders.

She was having a quiet drink with a friend, no fawning minders in tow, and even when one of my very drunk mates slobberingly came on to her she was perfectly charming.

Bugger.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Sat 27 May 2006, 20:50, Reply)

Bill and Ben
Giving away my age here, but despite the terror I never expected to meet the veritable FlowerPot men. Well not till AntnDec started drinking in me local and turning the beer sour. 2 large foreheads and a double pink gin.

I also used to drink with Withnail and sold dubious things to Peter(Avon Lady) Murphy but not sure if they count.
(we are ovaltine I'm that annoying chap in Building 9, Sat 27 May 2006, 20:33, Reply)

Prince Phillip
The Queen and her ghastly husband visited my hometown a while back and I was drafted in to play in a string quartet for the occasion (unpaid I might add - I was bullied into it by the thug conductor of my youth orchestra).

Anyway, we dutifully played our cheesy Mozart and Vivaldi arrangements and then stood up to do the whole meet and greet thing. The Queen herself was perfectly charming, but His Royal Highness Prince Gobshite took it upon himself to snort, "I suppose you lot have all got tape recorders hidden under your chairs, haw, haw, haw!"

I'm pleased to say that all four of us maintained expressions of stony contempt.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Sat 27 May 2006, 19:51, Reply)

Sharpey
I once met Pat Sharpe (of fun house fame) when he was in 'the games' on channel 4. Unfortunately for the QOTW he was a thouroughly nice bloke (despite only being about 5'1)

Also, though not entirely related..... at all, my mum goes running with sean bean's dad on monday nights
(Duff_the_Funky_Chicken, Sat 27 May 2006, 19:15, Reply)

Batdyke is my hero
And I'm very disappointed that she cropped that picture so much.
( Beve The Spaniard broke off his horse's head, Sat 27 May 2006, 19:06, Reply)

Prince Phillip
When i met him he didn't make any offensive comments like he normally does which really disapointed me.

At least he talked to me!

Not spoken to any other celebrities
(The lord Boo., Sat 27 May 2006, 18:49, Reply)

New Found Glory
I met and interviewed them a few times back when I was super-fan no.1. First time (4/5 years ago) they were very nice and normal. In the time since they've sold out, gone utterly shit and despite being millionaires now charge 5x as much for their shows. So last year when I interviewed them again I asked them how much their tickets were for that night's gig. They had no idea. I queried whether they should, considering the people buying them were paying their keep. After a brief enquiry into just why those prices they didn't know had risen so massively they stopped the interview. Then took away my press pass and crossed me off the guestlist.

They were my heroes, now they're just cunts.
(boristheflorist, Sat 27 May 2006, 17:36, Reply)