Off to canada....
Well, t'was nice meeting you all back in London. I'm at the airport now, heading to Canada!

How is everyone today? Sorry i've not been around much... I'm now officially unemployed
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:44, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Up late? Hungry?
In the mood for a sausage? Here ya go, these Russian IT guys have the answer for you. Take a look. I especially like the usage of the LEDs to indicate progress...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:10, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hiya
I'm new, yay me!

Can anybody recommend who's posts are worth reading on QOTW?

Thank you
(Hotty, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 13:08, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

People of B3ta!
Need a cause to throw yourselves behind? Want to make your journeys to London full of endless fun? Soothe the (suspiciously well organised) Anarchists before the protests?

I HAVE THE SOLUTION:

Click here to see it.

Sign up and make a change!

Sorry, but this does mean you're going to have to visit FaceSpace.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 12:41, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pyromania!
Inspired by HSH, tell us your stories of pyromania and setting fire to things.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 9:07, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweaty Home


Read it and weep. Or laugh. Or have no reaction whatsoever.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 7:38, 114 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home


<img src="http://www.b3tards.com/u/73a634d3b242a4b14b64/hsh.jpg" alt="Home Sweet Home" title="Home Sweet Home">


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:45, 94 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have been just cheered up
Whilst reading a copy of Readers Digest, as it was the only thing to find to do whilst waiting in the doctors surgery, I turned to the Laughter page, and what did I espy?

A joke from Sickipedia.org on said page, finally its reached the SAGA generation.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 15:47, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I must leave you my lovelies
I've just had a verbal warning for misuse of the internet at work...thank god they didn't notice what the content of this site is, but it means I'm not longer on here during the day anymore.

I'll try to come back on more in the evenings, but can't promise.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 14:45, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

British Summer Time.
I noticed b3ta has not changed the time yet which makes me think what is the point in the clocks changing?

Why dont we just change it 30 minutes and be done with it?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:46, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A joke for PJM.
It's funny cos it's true. Content in replies.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 12:48, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My date last Friday.
You’ll be ambivalent to know, that, following my request for ‘film suggestions’ so I could provide some sort of ‘audio/visual’ treat for the lovely young lady who was cooking my dinner last Friday, we watched In Bruges. We also had chicken with bacon, stuffed peppers and new potatoes.

T’was a lovely night.

Mullered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 10:05, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it just me

or are Cadbury's Cream Eggs smaller this year?


Maybe I'm bigger...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 9:39, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A joke too far?
Sickipedia has been kicked off its DB host. Oh noes! Where am I going to get my sick lolz now?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 9:12, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No thread? You fucking slackers


Today I am mainly ill and need lots of sympathy and tea but I have had to drag myself into work as it's too busy atm for me not to be here *sad face*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 9:11, 111 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hendricks Gin
This is just the bestest! It has replaced Bombay Sapphire in my affections, fickle harlot that I am. G&T with a ball of cucumber in it and a thin slice of lime. Marvellous.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 0:12, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last night, I went to see
Elton John & Billy Joel's Duelling Pianos concert and it was FUCKING AWESOME.
That's all.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sun 29 Mar 2009, 19:55, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

just watched some posh cunts doing a rowing race
it was quite dull , but the remarkable thing is how its been the same two teams in the finals since rivers were invented . Jolly well done chaps
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Sun 29 Mar 2009, 16:48, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

By popular demand
well, 3 people asked...

here's my new suit

www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/dscf1703.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sun 29 Mar 2009, 13:11, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Spacktards!
Get up!


Have a Hummus sweet fucking Hummus already!
Shit it's 10:17, why the feck wasn't one created already?

Love you all.
Tell all your stories of life here. :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 29 Mar 2009, 11:18, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

oh I have a question
does anyone here ever get really painful stinging in their eyes for no apparent reason - like there's something in your eye when there's not?

Cos last night I got that at work and it's happened before - but I thought it was my makeup. switched makeup but it's not really helped at all.
I wasn't upset or anything, just all of a sudden had this really painful stinging and watering in my eye.

And no bert wasn't around so you can count his jizz out as a list of possible causes.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 29 Mar 2009, 9:38, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Scary stalkerish antics!
Also known as slightly emo ex boyfriend.

Dropped out of uni because he can't handle being near to me when I'm moving on.
Told me he would cut off his penis and put it on eBay if that's what it took to get me back.
Says he'll love me for the rest of his life.

Bought me an iPod (which I really don't want)with a week's wages. Had said iPod engraved with emo song lyrics.

At what point is it appropriate to tell him to fuck off get a restraining order?
(Holy Gabrielle is Holy, Sun 29 Mar 2009, 8:23, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woo! Grand Prix!
Who's up? I'm up! Admittedly the cat had some paw in me being up at this time, but now I'm jolly excited!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 29 Mar 2009, 6:53, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just so you know.
If you ever buy sanitary pads in Toronto you get free "stayfree" vag wipes and if you buy a deep fried half pizza you get a free can of iced tea.
ROCK ON CANADA!
( wanderlust, Sun 29 Mar 2009, 6:44, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

for some reason
yesterday - at both my jobs - was brilliant.
I sold a motel room to a customer all by myself while on "reception".

AND
I got a 200 flipping dollar cash tip at the restaurant. The punters fucking loved me!

*monies in the bank*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 28 Mar 2009, 22:42, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I got the most disturbing voicemail today
From a number I don't know and a voice I don't recognise. As far as I can tell, the guy who left it was trying to have phone sex with my answer machine.

I can't catch all of it, but amongst other things, there's stuff about how horny he is for me, how he wants to lick my nipples, spurt hot cum into my mouth and something about my...shoulders?

Even stranger, it was left at half nine this morning. I really hope it was a wrong number...
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 19:28, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Whoops wrong board.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Sat 28 Mar 2009, 18:47, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Doesn't this only happen in sit-coms ?
Am staying at ex's looking after youngest daughter. Have not stayed at ex's before - normally daughter stays at mine. Ex away for 2 nights, comes back in 30 minutes.

Hamster dead.

On my "watch".

Fark.
( I_Was_Mordred, Sat 28 Mar 2009, 17:44, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)