Weird
I was just outside my work having a crafty smoke and somebody just walked up to me and asked where I got my t-shirt from? To clarify it's a Walking Dead (comic) T and looks great, but only available in the US.

So tell me what weirdness has happened to you recently?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 16:03, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right then....I'm orf!

See y'all tomorrow!!

woo yay!

*waves*

*excites*

*starts the early drinking*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 16:00, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bollocks
I woke up yesterday morning after having a dream about a girl who I was seeing for a while, thought about her all day and the same thing, with the exact same dream, happened this morning.

Which is a problem as I had pushed her to the back of mind entirely so I could forget about her (things didn't end so well...) and now she has popped back up and I don't know what to do! I've been walking around with my head up my bottom all day...advice on what I should do!?
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 15:52, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, want another story?
This is an odd one. I really don't remember writing it, but I kinda like it.

It's in the replies, of course.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 22 Aug 2008, 15:29, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Its friday
its payday, and its a bank holiday! the sun is shining (well here it is, if you are being rained on hahaha) and its 3.5 hours until beer and poker time, whoop whoop!

Because of this I purchased choc ices, and the whole team is now omm yom yomming on various chocolate and ice cream goodness, kudos for me!

What have you done recently to share the love
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:03, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

can someone explain this to me?
Right, before, well now, I've never woken myself up from twatting myself in the face, however since I've had my nose op and the last thing I want to be doing is hitting myself in the face I seem to be doing it a lot.
WHY IS THIS?

My nose still hasn't recovered from this mornings twatting. Ow.
(lei, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 13:02, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have a new family member
My sister has just had a baby girl (first neice the rest are boys, why is it babies all look the same?). Only problem with this is it has made my Mrs broody and I'm not sure how to snap her out of it.
Any ideas welcome.
(quagarr, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 12:05, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Harmonica love
Mornin' all.

This is about as off-topic as it can get, but I know some of you are music-types and might be able to help me here.

After years of playing guitar, I've bought myself a standard diatonic harmonica and I'm at the point of learning to play single notes and a basic scale.

I was wondering if anyone could recommend artists to listen to, tips or tutorials or books to help me learn? I know the best way to learn is practice, and I'll put shitloads of that in... but I learned guitar mainly by playing along with tunes and nabbing tab off OLGA back in the day. I'm hoping this technique will pay off again.

My current inspiration is Rory McLeod. Any other offers?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 9:21, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morning All
I has a strange dream on the bus this morning. Much Like seasonTicketless yesterday its funny what you think about when your asleep isn't it ?

I was in my higher english class from many moons ago, and was being told that Terry Pratchett wasn't considered Literary enough to do my final book report type thing on. (I thought, at the time that following character development over 3 books was sufficient for high school, but I digress) With the benefit of hindsight, I began to outline my counter argument. It was pretty good, in my head.

Is there anything that you wished you'd said at the time, but didn't get a really good retort until well after the fact?

And in general, how is eveyone today?
(weekirst23 Is broken! Silly ice. Silly High heels!, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 8:27, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Might I be the first to say today
(...and since I won't get a chance to say it at t'bash)

Happy b3taday althegeordie!

* Sings *

For he's a jolly good goat lover,
For he's a jolly good goat lover,
For he's a jolly good goat lover,
...and so say all the goats!
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Fri 22 Aug 2008, 0:42, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Rant alert!
.
If you're a teacher, look away now ....

If you're not a teacher, read on. My kids are back at school this week (yee hah) and have new teachers. My little one, still at primary school, thinks hers is fab. She got some nice comments on her "what I did in the holidays" story.

Elder Witchlet is at High School so has a variety of teachers. Her English teacher was asking the class today if anyone had "even picked up a book during the holidays". She responded in the affirmative. He asked what she'd read. She reeled off a couple of "teenage" titles and a couple of my holiday books she'd read. Okay, they were what are dismissed as Chick Lit, but at least she read something!

He proceeded to tell her that she might as well not read at all if she was going to read "that sort of rubbish". He went off on a rant about the sort of crap which gets published (I suspect he may be an unsuccessful author) and generally dismissed her as an air-head.

I have to admit I'm tempted to go steaming in there and give him a piece of my mind. Surely an English teacher should be a little more encouraging of a pupil who *gasp* actually reads for pleasure? Even if her chosen books aren't what he'd read, or choose for his pupils to read?

He appears to be saying that reading is only good if the books are "serious" literature. Otherwise, just don't bother. I disagree. You can learn something, in my ever-so-humble-opinion, from every book ever published. You may only be learning that some really crap writers manage to get into print, but it's still something you've learned!

I'll probably not take it any further (I suspect he's unlikely to take me any more seriously) but I will make a point of encouraging my girls to read whatever they fancy. I'll make sure that they read the set texts for school, but beyond that, it's up to them. This will be my small rebellion against *that* kind of literary snobbishness!


/rant over

Teachers, you can look again, now!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 20:28, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just to remind everyone how posh the hotel is that I will be staying in this weekend.
I've actually ironed my nightie.











Sorry! but I'm excited.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 19:15, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mums can be terrible
One of my fave toys when i was younger was my buck-a-roo, i used to play it at every opportunity, until one day i came home unsuspecting from school to find my mum had done a boot fair in the front garden and not only had she sold all of her crap but she also gone through mine and my sisters old toys and sold everything including my buck-a-roo! And after have a massive moan she then bought us a new one, only to find that it didnt actually work so we threw it away anyway!!

MsDchurch
(dchurch bah, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 18:39, Reply)

new question up
YOU'LL HATE IT
www.b3ta.com/questions/gullible/
( rob, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 18:38, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My boredom means you have to face another story.
So there ya go.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 18:37, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening
There are 8 pages of 'Last' posts on QOTW.

Come and talk shit here instead.


( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 18:10, 88 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Washine machine woes
We've been without one for over two weeks whilst our kitchen resembles downtown Basra after a friendly fire incident.

The result of this is that I'm down to my less favoured baggy boxers. I don't like them, they feel too loose and combined with the loose fitting linen suit are encouraging a level of 'swingage' that I'm frankly uncomfortable with when walking to the coffee machine...

Thankfully the wachine machine is now fully operational again and I can look forward to donning nice, comfy boxers for the bash of Saturday, thus sparing you all the sight of me trying to contain myself!

Just thought I'd share my suffering with you all.

*Adopts Nick Ross 'Crimewatch' tone*

Don't have nightmares.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:07, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OK
Here is the first (very) rough draft of the first chapter of the book I've had in my head for ages.

Enjoy!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:59, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ooh with all the creative stories today
I have a Health and Safety poem in the reply. (because work is more fun when you get to write stupid poems about it).
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:43, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

One more...
I think we all know one of these guys...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:11, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Don't remember if I posted this one already...
If so, forgive the pearoast...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:03, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Okay, another little tale for ya.
Story is in the reply.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:52, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Another question
b3ta's national anthem

I vote for So What by the Anti-nowhere League, as covered by Metallica

lyrics here

what's your choice?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:41, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woe and horror!
I've just found out that I'm going to be moving desks at my company. I'm currently in a lighty, airy office with two other people, and my computer is at such an angle that they can't tell when I'm reading b3ta.

However, in about 3 weeks, I'm going to move to a larger, airy office upstairs, to be in the same room as quite a few other people, and my desk will be at an angle where loads of people can see if I'm doing work or not.

This will effectively end my "pissing around on the QOTW and off-topic" time at work, bar at lunchtime. Arse. So posting will be less frequent (but I'll be able to put more thought into my posts I guess). This annoys me somewhat.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:24, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I bet.....
that the next QOTW will be....


Foot-in-mouth disease

for all you wanna be "first-posters" out there
(bugboybeast, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:09, Reply)

Does anyone else enjoy a nice grapple when drunk?
Me and my brothers always have a grapple when we're drinking. Maybe it's just us. I've found a few willing grappling buddies over the years but they are far and few between.









*expects yet another thread to be ignored*
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:44, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Todays semi-serious question brought to you by Vipros is:
what's your motto?

you might not have one formally, but think about it, there's usually some words of wisdom by which you live your life.

I've had a couple over the years, but the one that has stuck with me and remains useful today is this:

There's no point fucking about.

Unfortunately I don't have a good story to go with mine. I'm sure some of you have though. Tell me what it is.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 13:44, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)