Anyone see the b3ta mention in Private Eye?
(apologies if this has been posted somewhere else on the site)

"Idly sabotaging the user-generated online encyclopedia Wikipedia following the UEFA cup draw back in August, a user of the b3ta web forum going by the name of "godpants" made a few amendments for the Cypriot team Omonia Nicosia"

"He (or she) noted that they were sponsored by Natasha Kaplinsky, that their former players included Jean Claude Van Damme and Richard Clayderman, and claimed that "a small but loyal group of fans are lovingly called 'The Zany Ones'- they like to wear hats made from discarded shoes and have a song about a little potato." As you do

Writing up his pre-match report on Omonia's match against Manchester City for the Daily Mirror on 18 September, sports hack David Anderson decided to do some in-depth research. Thus it was that Mirror readers were informed that City Manager "Mark Hughes will not tolerate any slip-ups against the Cypriot side, whose fans are known as the 'Zany Ones' and wear hats made from shoes".

Brilliantly, by the rules of Wikipedia - which relies on "verifiability - whether readers are able to check that material added has already been published by a reliable, third party source" such as "mainstream newspapers" - this is now officially true."
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 12:21, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

George W Bush said
'Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.'

Hat whims will be the death of us all.
( thealternativefact, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 11:38, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmmm...
So this is OT then? I don't suppose you wouldn't mind giving a fluffier than normal /talker a nice, and hopefully friendly welcome?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 2 Oct 2008, 10:08, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all
I'm up far to early today, and actually have more than 1 hour of class today. Boo!


(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 7:50, 318 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The sex misconceptions QoTW reminded me of this,,,
An old friend from school added me on facebook the other day... I happened to mention it while I was talking to my mum a couple of days after that.

The conversation went like this:

"Guess who added me on facebook the other day?"
"I don't know"
"[name changed to protect the innocent]"
"Oh! His mum was the first person your dad ever shagged!"

Haha, I so didn't need to know that =)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 0:30, 6 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

I made a poem
The cold embraces me,
My hair floats before my eyes,
I sink.
I struggle, fail,
My lungs grow hot with pain.

An explosion of bubbles above,
A smiling figure descends,
Yet flickering hope is snuffed out,
As I read upon the card,
"Michael Barrymore: Life Guard"
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 22:38, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going to have sex with a toad and then eat it
Have you ever had sex with a toad and then eaten it?
(__, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 20:05, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening All
And how was your day?


( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 1 Oct 2008, 17:52, 131 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Banking Newsflash
Just in case you are not aware of the effect that the English and American banks problems are having on Japan's banks, I can confirm that Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up, Bonsai Bank is cutting its branches and trading in the Kamikaze Bank has ceased after its shares nose dived. At the Karate Bank 500 employees have been given the chop.

Analysts also report that something fishy is happening at the Sushi Bank as customers are getting a raw deal.


you all know i'm not witty enough even to try and claim i wrote this! but it made me laugh so i thought i'd inflict it on you lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 14:16, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Techie help
My nice newish laptop seems to have broken.

I am going through the online troubleshooting process but just thought I'd ask if anyone has experience of this particular problem...

It's a Dell Inspiron 1525. The CD/DVD drive has stopped working - it doesn't recognise discs when I put them in, and it isn't showing in "my computer". There is power in it (the light comes on, and it does whirr if I put a disc in), but it's as if the pooter just refusese to accept that it exists.

I am non technical, so you have to treat me like an idiot with this.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 13:48, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

cutting hair
I appreciate this may seem a dumb question, but how easy is it to use a pair of clippers on your own hair without doing something that would cause injury or embarrassment to ones self?

I'm guessing it's easy but lack the self confidence to do it to myself.

Any tips would be well received!

Ta :)
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Wed 1 Oct 2008, 13:19, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A new start at my work
has just sprayed himself with deodorant in my office and now I can't breathe without tasting his horrible scent. I made my feelings known quite vociferously only to be met by blank stares and raised eyebrows. Am I alone in finding this offensive ?
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 10:55, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Investment Advice
If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95. With HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50. £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, BUT if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £21.40

So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.
(conanow, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 9:40, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As the boss
should i make coffee or should i just accept the coffee that others make for me??

i hate making coffee but dont want my staff wiping their nobs around my coffee cup
( zulu eh?, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 8:54, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nearly half way to Friday!

( wanderlust, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 7:44, 398 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wooo!
I am in the limo on way to airport! hurrah for posting from a pda!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 22:12, Reply)

Well
What with the recessions and all I am afraid the HSH image budget has been cut dramatically.

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 17:58, 229 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gosh, I'm all excited and nervous!
In 4 1/2 hours, a limo is picking me up to take me to the airport to pick up my twin and assorted family members who are flying in for the first time!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 17:07, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

AAAARRRRGGHHH!
Sorry, gotta rant for a minute here.

I'm an engineer. I work with other engineers. Supposedly we're all responsible professionals.

I arranged to take a week off to go to England. My boss said it was fine as long as my work was covered while I was gone.

I had two projects that needed to go out. One was waiting on some calculations from the structural engineer, the other was waiting on drawings from a designer and documents from the electrical engineer.

In my absence they were asked to take their info to my supervisor. I had all of my documents printed, the things marked on them that needed to be marked, and the transmittal ready to go. All my supervisor needed to do was fill in the last couple of lines of the transmittal, put the documents together with mine and hand them to the mail room and all would fly out the door.

I came in yesterday to find the documents still on my desk.

I went to my supervisor. He told me that the others never brought him anything.

Well, the designer had sent out an email that he had finished his drawings. No prob- I got them and printed them, so they're ready to go.

The electrical engineer was out yesterday. The structural engineer said he would have them for me by the end of the day. (Never mind that he said he'd have them a week ago...)

This morning? The structural engineer is still working on the calcs, and the electrical engineer still has a few hours to put in on his stuff.

Both of these guys have been here for ten years or more. I've been here for seven months.

WHAT THE FUCK! I was not here to nag them, so they couldn't meet the deadline?!? I already have three kids- why do I need to babysit two men who are both substantially older than I am?

And better yet- I got back a submittal stamped "Revise & Resubmit". Why? Because I didn't provide tabs for them to flip to for the motor, for the proximity switch, for the gear reducer. I included a table of contents that showed the order of the documents- are they unable to flip the pages themselves? They say that the maximum load is shown incorrectly, yet when I flip to the page in question, they are wrong- it shows 650, not 830 as they claim it does. Are these assholes unable to read?!?

If you read reports of a man running around naked but for a coating of blood, wielding a chainsaw and screaming and leaving a trail of dismembered engineers behind him, you'll know that you're hearing news of the Loon...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 30 Sep 2008, 15:16, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

all you can eat lunch
now iu'm full, but i still have the lunch i brought into work with me

should i eat it or leave it?
( zulu eh?, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 14:33, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hate to say I told you so
but I did call this current collapse a few weeks ago.

PJM, I really hope you were right.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 30 Sep 2008, 11:46, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good Morning Fat Loners.
JMG is on, and it'll no doubt upset you ape-like keyboard thumpers over dinner.

But let's rise above your poorly thought out replies and slanderous comments about somebody you'll never, ever meet.


How popular is JMG, in your every day activities?
Are you at peace outside?
Do you miss JMG?

I'm b3ta's hero. Stand up if you want to flail wildly with internet based upset and cyber gravy tears.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 30 Sep 2008, 11:38, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning folks.

( wanderlust, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 7:52, 355 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why?

( Enigmatic ™                 Voice No More                  ©, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 0:16, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've had sex

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 23:58, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How many brothers fell victim to the streets?
Rest in peace young nigga there's a heaven for a G.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 23:53, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I really need a piss

(__, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 23:51, Reply)

I've got blood on my hands.
And there's no remorse. I've got blood on my dick cuz I fucked a corpse.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 23:49, Reply)

Soooo....
I'll pop this here.


( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 18:46, 191 replies, latest was 16 years ago)