Nommy nom nom-noms?
In a fit of nostalgia I bought a jar of Heinz Sandwich Spread at lunchtime. Fuck me, it's rank.

What childhood favourites do you still find nommy and which have failed to stand the test of time?

PS You can 'Taste the Difference' between Sainsbury's top-end mushroom and tarragon soup and 'edible soup' with ease. Avoid that shit, yeah?

Alt: go on about how shit this thread is

Altalt: I reckon that people who claim to prefer dark chocolate to milk are fucking lying. Who else is fucking lying (apart from Jimmy Nail lol)?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 13:58, 240 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Describe yourself
How would others describe you?

Alt:
Best and worst qualities
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 12:35, 210 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I am SO EXCITED about the Police whatsit thingummy elections!!!
I TOTALLY know who the candidates are in my area and am CERTAIN that the lucky winner will have LOADS of REAL power to make changes etc and is in NO WAY merely a rubbish PR stunt that is in reality totally fucking pointless. WHO'S WITH ME??????

Alt: something about sandwiches or crisps or choccie bars
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 10:26, 166 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Good morning bastards
This morning my hotel served me scrambled eggs with chopped chives mixed in. This is both unnecessary and unpleasant. What other food wrongs annoy you?

Alt: The NHS. My daughter has had some excellent treatment by the NHS this week. Do you love the NHS or loathe it? Or are you simply mildly indifferent to it?

AltAlt: How’s YM? Has she recovered from her last anal prolapse? Did it sting when they took the stiches out? I bet it did, what with all the clagnuts they had to cut off.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Nov 2012, 8:03, 237 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Morning everyone.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 14 Nov 2012, 1:30, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have steak and eggs ready for breakfast
Am I easily led or open to new ideas? You decide.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 22:55, 12 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Meaningless thread time
We played carols in orchestra practise yesterday. You know what that means....6 weeks til I get out of the country for a bit!

So whinge about people putting up christmas decorations too early or about your job or imaginary wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend or something

So, yeah, futile gestures against the world thread, really
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 18:26, 61 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

what's your favourite mobile phone?
what computer game are you currently playing?
what crisps do you like best?
if nakers has 74 crabs, each laying 10 eggs a day and kills 30 a day, how long is it before he stops being a bent spastic?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 14:31, 120 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

fucking lunch pricks
What do you want for Christmas boys and "girls"?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 12:15, 148 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Ostracism!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostracism
Ostracism(Ancient Greek:ὀστρακισμός,ostrakismos) was a procedure under the Athenian democracy in which any citizen could be expelled from the city-state of Athens for ten years. While some instances clearly expressed popular anger at the victim, ostracism was often used preemptively. It was used as a way of neutralizing someone thought to be a threat to the state or potential tyrant. Crucially, ostracism had no relation to the processes of justice. There was no charge or defense, and the exile was not in fact a penalty; it was simply a command from the Athenian people that one of their number be gone for ten years.

Who would you vote to ostracise from Britain/your country?

How about from QOTW/OT?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Nov 2012, 10:00, 57 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alright.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 13 Nov 2012, 0:45, 90 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

So I am in my hotel in Poznan, having been up since 4am to get the 7am flight from Stansted. Too knackered to go out.
My wife has just told me that our daughter has been re-admitted to hospital this evening.

So please, OT, distract me with stupidity. Or lies, I don't really care. Just something interesting.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 19:52, 194 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Yeah nice one.
I watched that Valkyrie on television last night. Save for the bit when the bomb was about to go off (which was pretty tense), I was amazed at how that prick off 'Cocktail' managed to make a film about the attempted assassination of fuckin Hitler so incredibly dull.

What surprises you?

Alt: what (apart from me, ho ho, and these questions ha ha) is really fucking dull?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 17:31, 76 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

New thread time.
Any suggestions?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 15:12, 142 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Coffee is for Queers and Italians.
Who 's on your 'deserves to die' list?

Today, I'm going for people who do that crappy 'Daaaaayyyyyvid Bowwwweeee' voice on the radio.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 13:17, 231 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Granulated coffee is fucking disgusting.
Also: FFS.
( Kroney, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 12:46, 67 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

New thread!
So have you ever done that thing where you go round to fix the combi boiler at a bored housewifes house and she becomes very sexually explicit?

Alt: Are the BBC making news in their own office purely because they can't be arsed going outside to do some reporting?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 10:42, 131 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Good morning to you.
How was your weekend? What did you do*?

Alt: What's going on for you this week? Obviously GeordieJay can tell us in detail precisely what's happening BECOS HE MET A MAGIC WIZUD WHO CAN SEEEEEEEE INTO THE FUUUUUTTURRRREEE.....

Altalt: Did you see that news story about the fat cunts who've needed the fucking fire brigade to get their tubby carcasses out of the bath? 2700 instances in the past 5 years. Think they should have to pay for the callout? I do. cf knobends who get stuck up Mount Snowdon or 'get into trouble' in a dinghy or whatever. You got yourself into that mess so why should I pay to get you out of it? Pay up or die in shame in the bath/up a mountain. Evolution has no sympathy and neither do I. You fat, stupid cunts.

*Just to point out that you didn't do my mum you LOLmungous comedy king, you
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Nov 2012, 8:29, 155 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Psychic reading
Hi all,

For those of you who wanted to know I had my reading done today and have to say she was pretty spot on. she asked no questions and I kept body language to a minimum.
She managed to tell me things about myself and things Id been pondering about (Health, work etc), but in a rather detailed way.
She told me about relatives who had died, what they died of, how long ago. Especially my gran who died within 2 weeks of being totally healthy of cancer...

Im quite open minded like but this was much weirder than I imagined it would be.

Be back on tomorrow to read your cutting comments and pisstakes ;)

tl;dr had a psychic reading. Was canny.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sun 11 Nov 2012, 20:39, 23 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Ohhh shitenhozin
My laptop died last night, it's the power board I bet. It's been on its way for ages and I have a CANT NOT MISS NO MATTER WHAT deadline tomo... So I'm waiting for pc world to open so I can get a new one on credit. Wasn't expecting this so soon. Still, YAY, retina display laptop.

Kitchen is lookin sweet as fuck, loaded the cuoboards yesterday. Tilling and painting next week, them it's mostly done.

How's your weekending ?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 11 Nov 2012, 8:56, 23 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Today I will mostly be...............................................
Well finish off the statement you lazy B3stards.

Alt: I don't really care

Alt:Alt: Who, What, Where and When?

Alt:Alt:Alt: Why?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 10 Nov 2012, 17:58, 86 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

By request of Dozerino and because we need at least one new thread today.
Wilf's Positive Vibes Tread:

What's good about your day so far?

It seems 9-year old's get over jet-lag likes that *attempts to snap fingers* in a bit we are making honey comb ( www.nigella.com/recipes/view/hokey-pokey-36 ) and then heading to my mum's to celebrate her birthday and eat takeaway.

Alt(Dozer tribute question): what's the most Dozer item in your wardrobe?

it can be the most expensive, most stylish, most ghey, your call. Bonus points if Doze does not respond with "I'd never wear that!" (if you are Dozer, what's the best item of clothing you own?

I'm struggling on this one folks, I would have said the blue suede slippers, but they've been discounted... erm... I have a green checked Dickies bomber jacket... it's a brand-name at least...

AltAlt: post pictures of kittums or cayke.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 10 Nov 2012, 10:44, 35 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Flats
Lets talk flat buying, for I am buying a flat.

There's a lot of variables, but mostly it's down to price, awesomeness and location, with a touch of "is it a good investment".

I have had to rule out finding anywhere that is awesome in my price range in a good location, so what's the most important thing? Go for the most awesome regardless of location or price, or accept slightly less awesomeness for a better location or a better price? Help me for I am shit at decision-making.

Alt: How'd you decide on where you're living at the moment?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 23:10, 11 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Alright wankers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 20:25, 24 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hey, how come the Newsletter never gets linked on here?
Do you all finger kids of sutin?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:22, 115 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Is it too late on a Friday afternoon to start a new thread?
Fuck it, I'm gonna do it anyway.

What's the highest number of times you've had to explain something to someone before they understood basic, simple English?

Alt: why are people such epic flidmos?

Alt alt: any plans for tonight?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 15:58, 90 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 13:30, 226 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Microsoft Excel
This product has been the bane of my life so far today...

What is the bane of your life and why?

Alt. Best ways to relax - Walking does it for me (boring!)

Alt. Alt. Soup (mulligatawny for me)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 9 Nov 2012, 11:51, 181 replies, latest was 12 years ago)